Chapter 3: fun
Author's notes:
Thank you Fifilafemme (even if that little incident wasn't the point of the fic)! Er. . .hmm. . .ah, here's a blueberry tart!
And from Summer Vacation. . .thank you Chaka'sGirl! You get. . .hrmm. . .ah, corn flake cookies!
Once again, I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh. . .ah, heck with it, the rest of the disclaimer is at the end of this chapter.
-
Joey Wheeler stared at the invitation he'd received from Industrial Illusions. At the very bottom, in small print, the writer of the invitation required 20 cards from the invitee's deck as proof that the latter had received the invitation. 20 cards would seem to be excessive, by a non-duelist. Joey knew better. 20 was half the minimum deck size, and he'd be a dog if he kept his deck at a minimum!
He noticed a card at the bottom of the packaging. He slowly took the card out, careful to preserve the bubble wrap. He planned on mailing it (the bubble wrap, not the card) to Serenity, so she could drive everyone except herself nuts.
He looked at the card he'd gotten. He stared. He stared hard. He stared harder. The person on the card had nicely-tanned skin and pure white hair, tied up in what appeared to be a doubled-over ponytail. It (the guy in the picture, NOT the ponytail) grinned evilly.
WTF-30
DJ Ereki
Whenever this card goes into battle, you can destroy the monster this
card is supposed to battle by mixing a drink, and naming the drink
(within legal limits). Your opponent can then sample the drink, within
legal limits. The same mixed drink cannot be used more than once per
Duel.
Wind/Bartender/Effect; 4; 1850/0; Short Print (yes, really)
Joey went in search of a book he'd found in a room he wasn't supposed to be in. This was going to take some creativity!
o.o.o
Mokuba looked at the invitation that his brother had just thrown to the ground. It looked interesting. It was a pity that Mokuba didn't have a deck at the moment. He heard soft popping sounds. Upon seeing the card included in the package, Seto had run off, presumably to, "dispose of the extra wrapping." Yeah, right.
In his haste to "dispose" of the bubble wrap, Seto had left his card on the table. Out of curiosity, Mokuba took a peek. It was completely blank. Mokuba sighed. This HAD to be a joke.
o.o.o
After Dartz had vanished, the three Doom Bikers had found each other again, and were at a complete loss as to what to do. After about three seconds of discussions, the former Doom Warriors knew that there was no way in the Nine and a Half Hells that they would share the same house. Varon snored, and Amelda sleepwalked (straight into various pieces of furniture/appliances/points of exit). Raphael had gotten more than one ear infection by wearing earplugs to bed every night.
Varon also had the nasty habit of putting the toilet seat down.
Despite their differences, they had agreed to keep in touch. Varon had kept his look nearly the same. The difference was the lack of goggles. After one too many incidents with incontenent birds, he'd ditched them altogether. Amelda had finally taken a hint (from the unfortunate kids he tutored), and wore a simple, baggy T-shirt and looser jeans. He claimed it was because of something he'd read in one of his pupil's books. Perhaps it was better not to ask.
Raphael's clothing was usually based on what he needed to do. Since his trenchcoat had been chewed up by a door hinge, he had changed into a long-sleeved collared shirt (still dark gray) and slacks. He looked somewhat like a bouncer.
At the moment, Varon and Amelda were arguing over the fine points of the invitation they had received. Theirs were identical to the one Raphael had nearly tripped over a couple of mornings ago. All three were a bit puzzled that they were required to bring half a deck. What did Pegasus have in store for them?
Raphael sighed and looked at the card he got. It had to be karma.
WTF-22
DJ Celica
"What's up"
Wind/Cliche; 3; 1400/1200; Super Rare
He'd received the worst cliche of them all; the absolutely useless Super Rare. At least the girl on the card could be considered cute, lavender hair and violet, semi-hentai eyes nonwithstanding. Raphael preferred his women a bit older, and without the pigtails. The glare from the foil temporarily blinded Varon, who swore profusely.
"That's the card you received? What a cutie," Varon remarked dryly. That got Amelda's attention.
"Purple hair! Ewww!" Amelda exclaimed. Raphael shook his head. Apparantly, Amelda's experience as Pegasus had given him a permanent purple hair phobia.
"I dare say mine is cuter," Varon remarked, as he pulled out his own card. Amelda's face turned a very intriguing shade of red.
"Wow. . .she's hot," the flustered Doom Warrior said breathlessly. Looser jeans WERE a good idea.
Raphael took a peek over his companion's shoulder. He blinked several times. The woman on the card stared back, defiant. Her features marked her as Oriental, and the swords in her hands only heightened the effect. Raphael noticed rather quickly that she had replaced her bra with bandages.
"Wow. . .she's hot," he said, almost without realizing it. Varon gave them both a crooked smile.
"That's what I get for being the best-looking guy of the bunch!" he exclaimed happily. Raphael tore his eyes off the woman in the picture, and read the effect. . .and sorely wished for a microscope. Was it possible for the writing to get any smaller?
WTF-11
DJ Sakura
This monster can only be Ritual Summoned by the effect of "Undying
Sword of Rage". You must also offer monsters whose star level total is
6 or more. (technical Union Monster stuff goes here). This card can
only be equipped to "DJ Iroha". The equipped monster gains 2500 Attack.
Negate the effect of a monster that is destroyed as a result of battle
with this card, or with whatever is equipped with this card. (Union
Monster technical garbage goes here)
Dark/Formerly Dead/Ritual/Union/Effect; 6; 2500/0; Ultra Rare
Amelda squinted hard at the card. He whistled. "She's sexy, and she kicks ass," he muttered to himself. The redhead was definitely overreacting to the situation.
"So, where's your chick?" Varon asked, eager to make fun of whatever Amelda got.
"I guess you could say that," Amelda growled, and took his card out of his wallet. Raphael did several double-takes. This card was wrong in more ways that one!
WTF-33
DJ Siren
"A very confused import of sorts. Therefore, he gravitated towards a teaching position"
Earth/Engrish Teacher; 4; 1000/1500; Common (orange)
The man in the picture sported purple hair. His nail polish matched his hair perfectly. The card itself looked like it was supposed to be an effect monster, but the effect box held nothing but flavor text. Lastly, wasn't the monster's crazy subtype supposed to be, "English Teacher"?
"I think Pegasus doesn't like you," Raphael said evenly. Amelda glared. Varon laughed heartily. Maybe Raphael had gone a bit too far. Oh, well.
"You'll get a chance to tell Pegasus precisely what you think of him. . .tomorrow," the somewhat-conscience-plagued Doom Warrior added. The three of them parted, knowing that they'd see each other again. . .VERY shortly.
o.o.o
Yugi hung up the phone. Joey had just given him an earful and a half. Joey's monster had a subtype that no one had heard of. Furthermore, its effect was potentially illegal. Therfore, Joey had concluded that Pegasus must have finally fallen for his good looks, blah, blah, blah. In truth, Joey was far more interested in the girls at school. This was something Yugi didn't like. The girls were supposed to worship HIM!
The pharoah was quite tired of running around in his mind room. Ever since Yugi's initial reaction to a Duel Monsters card he'd never heard of, Yugi had kept him stuffed in the puzzle, as if he was trying to hide something.
Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.
-
Author's notes, again:
Okay, the rest of the disclaimer:
I do NOT own Beatmania IIDX (insert version number here), any artists, the story behind the IIDX DJs, or any of the wonderful DJs that appear within the Beatmania IIDX series, or the song "fun" (that's owned by Mr. T. . .I don't think I need to explain the title).
Four monsters made an appearance, all of the DJs.
DJ Ereki works as a bartender; thus, his effect.
DJ Celica was the first female DJ to make an appearance, and ever since her debut (in 3rd Style or so), she's been drawn younger and younger. Therefore, I have put her in as the cliche of the series.
DJ Sakura had already died. . .and for some strange reason, has been resurrected (I don't know much more than this). She's also DJ Nyah's chief rival.
DJ Siren is the only DJ from America, and I wasn't making up the bit about the nail polish. In the story, he's an English teacher who thought that Japan was still inhabited by ninjas, geishas, and the like. Whatever.
I pick these cards by random. Therefore, I found it highly amusing when Amelda wound up with DJ Siren. I'm sure the two of them would find much in common with each other. Varon got extremely lucky; if I had a choice, I would have given his card to Kaiba, if only to have him utter the magical words that most are doomed to utter as soon as they lay sight on DJ Sakura. Raphael's card may not be quite as unlucky as he thinks; this will be explained later.
All DJs are owned by GOLI Matsumoto!
All right, fire away with the reviews!