Hidden Secrets
Disclaimer: I only own Aranwen, Beran, Star, and the plot.
Chapter Thirty-four: Escape Attempt
T.A. 3019
Aranwen raced away. She could not take this anymore. All the pain, all the trouble, all the torment that was caused by those visions was finally catching up to her.
She never asked to be this way. She never asked for this power. She never asked to be a half-Elf. Life had been easier when she denied her gift and believed that her parents were dead. Her life had sheer bliss before Beran murdered the camp. She had been in love, lived in the Wild, and was freer than one would expect a woman to be.
Now she was trapped by the nightmares caused by her gift. She hated Beran—and loved him at the same time. She lived her life on the run, never knowing where she would be going next.
She wanted normality.
But she would never get it. She would have a child to raise in a few short months. Aranwen had not expected to be a mother at such a young age. She had never planned on being a mother. She hated being tied down and she loved her life as a Ranger. She would never have her old life back, no matter how much she tried; no matter if she killed Beran, no matter if they lost the war. She was trapped in despair with naught a speck of hope. She had given up long ago.
It would be better if they all died in the coming battle. It would be better if she would just die.
Aragorn chased his fleeing daughter. Why must she always run? Why did she seem to strongly believe that they were all about to die?
"Aranwen!" he called, running after her. "Aranwen, daro!" (Aranwen, stop!)
"Gwanno ereb nin, ada!" she cried over her shoulder, quickening her pace. (Leave me alone, dad!)
"Lau!" replied Aragorn, catching sight of her as she tried to disappear into the Golden Hall. (No!)
"Please," whispered Aranwen, tears streaming down her face, as Aragorn grabbed her wrist. "Let me be."
"Aranwen, please tell what is wrong," questioned Aragorn, concerned for his only daughter. It was his job to keep her safe and he deserved to know what was wrong with her.
"It's not your problem. It's mine. Please, just go away!"
Aragorn's blue-gray eyes reflected his pain. Why was she behaving this way? Why wouldn't she speak to him?
"Please…" he pleaded with her.
"No!"
"Ae anirach." (If you wish.)
"Namarie, ada," Aranwen begged, yanking her hand from his loosened grip. (Farewell, dad.)
Aragorn sighed deeply as her footsteps faded. Was he doing the right thing by letting her go in accordance with her wishes? Was he making a mistake? He knew she needed the space, but still…
Where was his beloved Arwen, when he needed her the most?
Aranwen slipped out of her gown and crushed the velvet garment into her saddlebags. She doubted that she would ever wear it again, but it mattered not. She was leaving this place and all the people in it. She was going to disappear and they would eventually forget her. They were all better off without her in their lives anyways. All she ever did was cause trouble and bring pain.
She dressed in her Ranger clothes, strapped her weapons on, and covered herself with the dark cloak. With a sigh, she left the room and rapidly tacked up Star. Star seemed surprised to see her and she felt bad about taking the faithful and weary horse out. But they would not being going far. They would only go far enough that people would have a hard time finding them.
Aranwen slipped out of Edoras, completely unaware that she was being tracked by another Human. She galloped off into the distance, not stopping until she reached the nearby Snowbourn River.
On the banks of the river, Aranwen dismounted from Star. She knelt beside the river and swallowed hard. This was it. This was her test. Her final test.
"I'm so sorry, ada. Please forgive me for what about to do," she cried, allowing her tears to flow from her saddened eyes. She had kept her emotions pent up for far too long.
Taking one final breath of fresh air, Aranwen threw herself forward and into the water. She felt the chill of the water take over and she tried to resist the urge to fight the cold. She was slightly happy for the first time in a long time. She was taking back her life. She was ending it on her terms.
No more nightmares. No more visions. No more Beran. No more war. No more parents. No more life.
Aranwen felt her life start to leave and she felt a harsh kick in her stomach. The baby! She had forgotten about the baby!
It was too late. It was better for her unborn child to die with her than to live a life such as her own. She was doing the best thing for them both.
Strong arms grasped her around her middle and dragged her upwards. She resisted, fighting back. She wanted to die! She needed to die to escape from it all.
Aranwen's back hit the hard ground, and she began to choke up all the water she had swallowed. Warm hands held her steady and she collapsed against them. What had she been thinking? Did she really want to die?
"I've got you now, Wanderer," said a familiar voice, as Aranwen faded from the real world and fell into a realm of dreams. "You're safe with me."
Author's Notes:
Sorry that it took so long for me to update. I hope that this chapter was worth the wait!