Chapter 13 - dual control

Author's notes:

Sorry for the wait! I've been busy. Quite busy.

Varon: Perhaps TOO busy with school, work, and a respiratory illness. . .

Me: There's no such thing as that.

LeDiva, Caorann fridh Bronach, and Fifilafemme, here's some. . .er, haupia? It's kind of like a coconut gelatin, and it's really, really good!

I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh!. . .and the rest is at the bottom.

Anyway, onward!

x.x.x.x.x.x

Ishizu regarded the scene in front of her as if she were at home, watching some sort of bad comedy flick. It didn't matter that there were a whole bunch of holograms on the loose. It didn't matter that some obnoxious redhead had asked her for her number and her measurements.

Ishizu needed to find a bathroom. Fast.

Her problems was a very specific type of problem. If everyone in the room knew what she needed to do, most would turn pale and faint. Two other people in the room would understand just how urgent Ishizu's situation was. Both of them looked like they took care of the same problem in a completely different way.

Ishizu's stomach began to hurt. Her head pounded miserably. Her body carried a dull ache. It was THAT time, and she needed to change desperately.

After a few more minutes of aimless wandering, Ishizu found what she was looking for. With a sigh of relief, she set out to do her business.

Several minutes later, Ishizu emerged, and went on the hunt for another facility. This one was far easier to find. Most architects were nice enough to put the water fountains right next to the bathrooms. From the folds of her robe, Ishizu produced a bottle of pills. She tapped one out, filled her mouth with water, and--

"So, are you free for dinner tonight, honey?" came an all-too-familiar voice. Ishizu half swallowed/half spewed the water in her mouth.

"What the HELL is your problem!" she screeched. The redhead took a few steps back.

"Whoa, didn't mean to startle you. Is it that time of the month or something?" Ishizu let her glare answer the redhead's question. The redhead apparantly had a brain somewhere in his body, for he took a few more steps back before retreating back the way he came. Ishizu did a quick check of her surroundings before going back to the water fountain, and--

Another loud shriek made Ishizu gulp her water too fast. A big red something sat in the approximate middle of a large group of people. Ishizu whipped out her booklet, and did some picture comparisons. There was no doubt about it. That thing in the middle of the room was yet another one of Pegasus' creations.

WTF-5

Red-Eyes Communist Dragon

Whenever this card destroys a monster as a result of battle, create one "Proletariat" token (Wind/ Thunder; 4; 1000/1000) in Attack Mode on your side of the field.

Dark/Dragon/Effect; 8; 3100/2100; Super Rare

The "dragon" (for in reality, it looked more like a plush toy gone very wrong) looked directly at her. It let out a small belch before turning its attentions elsewhere. Ishizu sighed, shook her head, and went back to the water--

"AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!" came a loud scream from behind her. Ishizu found herself cheated of another mouthful of water. A man with purple hair and a goatee ran towards her general direction, with her younger brother in tow (and in case anyone was wondering, Malik was the one responsible for that unholy shriek). The dragon took a deep breath. Ishizu found herself staring at the great open maw of the dragon. She idly wondered if that dragon really was a hologram.

The dragon let loose.

Clouds of black smoke enveloped Ishizu, but she found that she could breathe quite easily. When the smoke cleared, her younger brother stood next to her, facing a card with the picture of a white chip on it. The man with the purple hair had been turned into a token.

"Oh, hi sis, are you okay?" Malik asked. Ishizu sighed. Malik nodded and ran off. At least her younger brother was trained to leave her alone.

Ishizu tried yet again to obtain a mouthful of water. This time, nothing interesting happened. She popped a pill into her mouth. The room went white. Ishizu gulped. The pill went down the correct pipe. The water did not. In the midst of her coughing fit, Ishizu got a glimpse of the thing responsible for whiting out the room. It was the Blue-Eyes Neo-Fascist Dragon. Somewhere between her and the women's bathroom, another token stood there, somewhat pathetically. With a sigh, she pushed past the unfortunate token and made her way to the bathroom.

"Hey there, miss, changed your mind?" The irritating redhead was back, and he stood near the paper towel dispenser. Ishizu glared at him. Did he think to sink so low as to--

"Did you come here to accept my proposal for a date? That's sweet, but you could have waited until I was out of the bathroom," the redhead continued. Ishizu blinked, and took a better look around. Several facilities NOT meant for a women's bathroom were lined up against a far wall. Fortunately, none were occupied.

Ishizu moved her hand to slap the impudent redhead across the face, but he caught her wrist. A shadow fell acroos both of them.

"So, Amelda, finally found a woman?" The person who said that TOWERED over Ishizu. He had enough muscle to make things go his way. Before Ishizu could feel properly intimidated, another shadow appeared.

"Hey, mate, looks like you got yourself a beauty!" The speaker wore goggles over his head. He also looked, sounded, and smelled like he was from Europe (no offense to my European readers! It IS possible to distinguish people by certain world regions by smell alone, but one needs an extremely sensitive nose to do so).

The redhead (whose name was apparantly Amelda) sputtered. Ishizu took that time to snatch her wrist out of his grasp. She positioned herself so that she could leave the bathroom quickly, then dealt every occupant in the bathroom a well-deserved slap.

"She's just playing hard to get," Amelda said, as she ran from the bathroom. Several unmanly giggles radiated from the open bathroom door. Ishizu corrected herself, then found the women's bathroom. Her duel disk glowed. A figure popped out. Ishizu wondered if her life was being dictated by some evil fanfic writer, for the hologram that popped out was male.

WTF-9

Freaky the Wandering Warrior

Remove 2 monsters whose Attribute color matches a color that you are currently wearing to destroy 1 face-up monster on the field.

Light/Warrior/Effect; 5; 1700/1400; Rare

Freaky looked extremely strange. His messy dirt-red/black/yellow hair was long enough to put Ishizu's to shame. His patchwork, multicolored clothes could make the blind see. His purple eyes gleamed with mischief.

Ishizu ran from the bathroom, screaming.

Ishizu ran from the bathroom, screaming, straight into another person. It was the redhead and his two friends.

"I don't think you want to run any further than this," the redhead stated. Ishizu gave him the Big Sister Glare Of Imminent Death. He jerked a finger over his shoulder.

The two dragons faced off against each other. Several of the DJ cards did their best to blend with the rest of the crowd. Both dragons began to glow. Ishizu took out her book, and desperately thumbed through the pages, in an effort to find out what was happening. She rolled her eyes. This could NOT be happening!

WTF-15

Perfect Race Revolution

This card can only be activated if you have at least three "Members of the Perfect Race" tokens on your side of the field AND only during your Main Phase 1. Destroy your "Blue-Eyes Neo-Fascist Dragon" (if it's still on the field), and everything on your opponent's side of the field. Your opponent discards his/her hand.

Short Print

WTF-57

Proletariat Revolution

This card can only be activated if you have at least three "Proletariat" tokens on your side of the field AND only during your Main Phase 1. Destroy your "Red-Eyes Communist Dragon" (if it's still on the field), and everything on your opponent's side of the field. Your opponent discards his/her hand.

Short Print

The light became intense. Ishizu shielded her eyes. When she could see again, the plushie that was the Red-Eyes Communist Dragon stood, with nothing to defeat it. It threw its head back in what Ishizu assumed to be its victory roar. Off to the side, all the female DJ cards huddled together. Two of them turned to each other and nodded. One disappeared. The other one unzipped her vest. Amelda's nose bled.

"Gimme a break, she's still wearing something under there, rookie," the big blonde guy told Amelda. Amelda sighed and wiped his nose.

The girl who unzipped her vest tapped the dragon on its hind leg. The dragon turned towards her. She wound her fist back and punched the dragon HARD. The dragon shattered into many, many pretty colors. The girl who took down the dragon dusted her hands off. Suddenly, the woman who had disappeared reappeared. The girl who slayed the dragon looked around, then held her hand in what appeared to be pain.

"WHAT is it going to take for me to convince the lot of you to go back where you came from!" the PA system announced. The voice over the PA sounded like Pegasus himself.

A DJ with white hair and a banana-yellow shirt held up a sign. It read, "Why should we?"

"Because this is NOT your world!" Pegasus shrieked.

The sign disappeared. When it reappeared, it said, "Will you make us official, so at least we can come out and play more often?"

"All right, all right, but DON'T ever take over Kaiba's duel disks ever again, got it!"

The sign read, "You've got yourself a deal, Peggy." All the holograms vanished.

"My name is PEGASUS!" Pegasus screamed, to empty air.

Ishizu couldn't help but giggle. The giggle slowly turned into a gurgle. Ishizu had drank too little water! The medication she had taken earlier burned!

Before anyone or anything could think of stopping her, Ishizu ran to the water fountain.

"Women. I'll never understand them," Amelda said, as Ishizu guzzled water.

"Women. I'll never understand their bodies," the European one said. Ishizu continued to drain the water fountain for all she was worth.

"Women. I'll never understand why I'm in love with them," the big blonde said, as Ishizu turned around. All three of them had been staring at her. More precisely, all three of them had been staring at a certain portion of her anatomy.

Three loud smacks rang through the hall.

"Man, those guys are idiots," Malik said, from across the hall.

x.x.x.x.x.x

Author's note, again:

Phew, another chapter done! Now that my connection is cooperating, life should be a lot better!

Ishizu's "problems" are what I go through on a regular basis (sans the pills). The pills she took were made of naproxene sodium, and if one takes them without enough water, it HURTS. Drinking water stops the burning.

I do NOT own Beatmania IIDX, any of the songs, the song "dual control" (which is owned by Mr. T), or any of the characters.

The order of appearance of the DJ cards are as follows: DJ Siren was turned into a token. DJ Sakura possessed DJ Iroha, causing the latter to unzip her vest. While possessed, DJ Iroha's Attack became 3500, which was enough to take out either dragon. After the battle, DJ Sakura turned herself back into a card, which left DJ Iroha somewhat clueless, and in pain. The "spokesperson" of the group was DJ K-Na (who I happen to think is very cool).

Red-Eyes Communist Dragon is the complement of Blue-Eyes Neo-Fascist Dragon. Both describe alternate means of government. Thus, their stats are perfectly equal. Both also create tokens that are "units" of their governed. I recommend doing more research on both systems, for more information. Or, get unlucky, and get stuck with The Communist Manifesto as required reading for a history class.

Freaky the Wandering Warrior is a blatant parody of Freed the Wandering Warrior. Freed's effect allows for a monster on the field to be destroyed if its current owner removes two Light monsters from the game. Freaky is a bit more liberal than that.

The Proletariat Revolution and Perfect Race Revolution are both a bad spin-off of the Huge Revolution. Take out the part about the tokens and the dragons, replace the tokens with the appropriate monsters (which would be the Oppressed People, the People Running About, and United Resistance), and it's the Huge Revolution card.

I hope to end this fic shortly. I promise that I'll put the ENTIRE card list at the end of this fic. I'll also see if I can't jog a few people's imaginations of the DJ characters. That will come later.

Review if you like. If you don't. . .I'll be sad.