DISCLAIMER: I apologize if this chapter is a bit short. I have not been feeling well recently, so that has limited my time on the computer.
Chapter San: Drei: Three
"Al, I'm going to bed. I'm tired," grumbled Ed, swaying back and forth as he made it to his quarters.
"Ok," Al answered.
The room was so quiet now that everyone had left the party. The only noise was the tick tock of the cuckoo clock. In a corner, Al rubbed his arm viciously with an oil-sodden rag. Lately, rust spots had been appearing all over his armor. Whether it was from the humidity or stress, he did not know. A high pitched mew disrupted the vacant silence.
"Do I hear a cat?" Al whispered to himself. Another mew rang out. Al got up from his seat and peered out the window. There was no cat in sight. Someone, something knocked at the door. After closing the window, Al unlocked and opened the door. A giant wooden cat, about twice the size of Al, stood at the door. Hm, I guess it would not hurt to take it in…
"Free tacos! Get your tacos!" called a man, standing behind a counter. Ed walked over to them man, and gave him three dollars.
"I'll take a taco! Don't be skimpy on the cheese!"
"No soup for you!" replied the man. All of a sudden, his head turned into a cat.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH!" Ed woke up. Oh, good thing that was just a dream. He fluffed up his pillow, and closed his eyes.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGG!"
"That sounds like Al!" Ed sprung out of bed, sending sheets flying everywhere. He scurried out of his room and sped down the hall. However, it was too late. There was no Alphonse Elric in sight. Ed flung open the door, revealing a mass of fangirls.
"Can we have your autograph?" they begged. Ed slammed the door shut. I thought they were gone for good! I had better notify Risa and the others…
Off in the red light district of town, surrounded by demented fangirls in homely warehouse full of rodents sat Alphonse, slumped up in a corner.
"Heh heh heh……what shall we make him do first?" snickered a brunette fangirl.
"Kiss our feet!" exclaimed one.
"Ewww! No! Let's make sure he makes out with each one of us!" whined a red head.
"No, we might get some disease!" a skinny, yet short girl bickered.
"From a sexy suit of armor?"
"No you idiot! From each other!"
Aaaack! Too many girls…I think I'm going to pass out… A stream of grease (instead of blood) shot out of Al's nose, and he fainted.
"Now look what you've done! You made Al pass out!"
"No, you did!" Soon enough, the fangirls got into a free-for-all brawl. Hair, shreds of clothing, and blood flew everywhere. Screams echoed through the warehouse, then died down. Blood, and carcasses of fangirls lay everywhere. In the midst of all this, only one live fangirl remained.
"Al…must have…AL!" she crooned one last time, and then she fell to the ground, dead. Her battle wounds had drained too much blood. Al paid no attention, for he was knocked out, dreaming about himself prancing about in a field of fuschia and saffron butterflies.
"Now if I were a fangirl, where would I be?" wondered Roy Mustang, stroking his chin as walked down a street. Ed and Risa Hawkeye walked alongside him.
"Well, maybe at a yaoi shop?" questioned Risa.
"Is that implying something?" Roy said, raising an eyebrow.
"I am not a fangirl!" Risa sputtered.
"Hehehe…"
The three stopped walking. "That sounds like a demonic fangirl!" Ed notified. He transmuted his automail arm into its weapon form. Risa pulled out her gun. Roy slinked away into a shonen ai/ yuri store.
"Wait….I think I know how we can find your brother…." announced Risa, "Fangirl, wherever you are, show yourself!"
To be continued…