Close to You

Past and Present

Disclaimer: As usual, I own no one!

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"Trish, move!" John muttered angrily. She was blocking his path in the hall. She seemed ready to speak. John could only guess what it was.

"I have something to tell you," she said. John closed his eyes. What could it be?

"Let me put this thing down," John said, setting the heavy box down. After months of discussing it, he and Randy were finally moving in together. "Yes?"

"If you ever hurt him, I will kill you!" she snarled, rushing toward her apartment.

John was baffled. What was that all about? He had never seen Trish do that before. Normally, she was so gentle. He had never heard her raise her voice. What was going on?

Had Randy been talking about him? Had he been telling Trish stories? Had he somehow insulted Randy?

Wracking his brain, he struggled to see what he could have done.

"Rand," John called, entering the apartment. "Have you been telling Trish things?"

"Like?" Randy asked, slinging a dust rag over his shoulder.

"I hurt you,"

"Of course not!" Randy exclaimed. "Why would I do that?"

"She just confronted me in the hall," John felt his voice raising. "You have, haven't you?"

"No, and I'm shocked to see you'd accuse me of that!" Randy exclaimed. "What did I do to you?"

"You've obviously been talking about me!" John screamed. He jumped forward in surprise when a plate shattered on the wall behind him. "What was that for?"

"Get out!" Randy exclaimed, throwing another plate. "Get out!" He threw another plate.

Grabbing his keys, John ran out of the apartment. He had never seen Randy get that angry before.

The streets of New York City bustled with life. Yet, John didn't notice. He was upset. He was heartbroken. Did this mean the wedding was over? Had he lost the only man he had ever loved?

The small coffee shop was nestled between two bookstores a few blocks away. John wasn't sure what he was doing there. He had come here with Randy a few times when they were looking for apartments. Why had he come to the place that held so many memories?

I don't know. The last one was awful small.

Shaking his head, John tried to rid his mind of Randy's voice. His boyfriend was the last person he needed to think of tonight. Both of them needed to calm down.

The last one had a room that would a PERFECT nursery.

Nursery? Randy, we don't have kids!

We might one day…right?

"Large coffee," John ordered, noticing his normal booth was open. Should he sit there? Would their past conversations come back to him?

Grabbing a napkin, he realized he had a pen in his pocket. Now was as good a time as ever to write his vows. After all, Randy hadn't said he didn't want to get committed.

Tonight, we have had our first fight. I've never seen you get so angry. As I sit here, alone, wondering if you still love me, I realize I love you. I would die without you. You are the final piece in my puzzle of happiness. You don't know how odd I feel, using clichés, but I feel as if they are the only way to express my love. For so many years, I wandered through life feeling incomplete. From the first day I met you, I felt complete. It was as if a mystery has been solved. We're entering the walk of love. Let's hope the path we're on is smooth with few bumps.

John couldn't believe he had written that. It was so unlike him. Where had that come from?

He couldn't lose Randy. He just couldn't. He loved the other man too much. Should he apologize? What should he do?

"You are hard to find," a masculine voice commented. Glancing up, John saw Randy. The younger man's eyes were red and tear stained. He had obviously been crying. John's heart began to beat faster and faster.

"Well, I figured after that HUGE fight, we needed to cool off," John said. Randy nodded. Then, he shrugged.

"I wouldn't call it huge," he said. John rolled his eyes.

"You were throwing dishes at me," he pointed out. Randy shrugged.

"I hated those dishes!" he exclaimed. John sighed. Then, he took Randy's hand and kissed it.

"I'm sorry I accused you of talking about me," he murmured. Randy sighed.

"I'm sorry I threw dishes at you," he murmured. John nodded. "Are we still getting married?"

"I didn't spend two grand on a tuxedo I'll probably never wear again to NOT get married," he said. Laughing, Randy gently kissed him.

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ENJOY!

-Jen