Chapter Yon: Vier: Four
"Fangirl, wherever you are, show yourself!" demanded Risa Hawkeye. A dark-skinned fangirl stepped out of the shadows. She had various tattoos of male FMA characters all over her body.
"He shall be mine! My Roy-kun!" she screamed, running towards the store Roy was in.
"Oh no you don't," said Risa, grabbing ahold of the fangirl's arm.
"What! I need my Roy-kun fix!" the fangirl whined.
"Where's Alphonse Elric!"
"I don't know anything about an Alphonse Elric!"
"Yes you do. You have his head tattooed on your arm," replied Risa, glancing at the Al head tattoo.
"Leave me alone!" shrieked the fangirl, wriggling out of Risa's grasp.
"Hey wait, I'll strike you a deal! I'll let you have some time with your Roy kun if you first help us find Alphonse!"
The fangirl turned around and smiled. "Sounds like a deal."
"Now, all we have to do is drag Roy and Ed out of the Yuri store…"
The Yuri Store was a fanboy's dream come true. Posters, manga, anime, games and even inflatable dolls of hot anime characters filled the shop. In a corner lit by a Faye Valentine lamp, Ed was reading a hot and spicy doujinshii (fan made manga) of MyHime. Drool dripped out of his mouth and onto the floor. Roy was engrossed in an equally sultry doujinshii of Gravion: Zwei. Risa shook her head sadly. What are guys coming to these days… She walked over to Roy, and grabbed him by the arm.
"It's time to go. We're not here to read nasty doujinshii, we're looking for Alphonse."
"Let me finish this last page!" complained Roy.
"No! We're going now! Ed, put that book down and come along!" Ed did as he was told. However, Risa ended up dragging Roy out of the store, pervy doujinshii included.
"Well, here we are," announced the dark-skinned fangirl, unlocking the door to a large, gloomy warehouse. Ed, Roy, and Risa stepped in, and looked around.
"I found him!" exclaimed Ed. He shook Alphonse awake.
"Oh, hi big brother!" Al replied, waking up from his peaceful slumber.
"Hey, are you ok? They didn't do anything bad to you, did they?"
"Well, they were going to make me kiss them…but they ended up killing each other in a big fight."
"Well, now that we've found your brother, let's get out of here," said Risa.
"Oh no you don't!" The door slammed shut. The dark-skinned fangirl grinned menacingly. "Now I can have you guys all to myself."
"Not if I'm around!" shouted Risa, whipping out her gun, "Open the door and let us all go free, or I'll shoot!"
"Oh, I'm so scared. You wouldn't shoot a child, would you Hawkeye?"
"Let us go or I'll shoot!"
Then, the fangirl's body began to shift into a familiar enemy's.
"Envy?"
"Heh, I had you all fooled," Envy snickered. He snapped his fingers, and Lust appeared.
"What? We helped you escape from the fangirls! What is the meaning of all this?" interrogated Edward.
"Stupid boy. We are the ones behind the whole fangirl scheme. We used forbidden alchemy to summon up mass amounts of fangirls," Lust informed.
"But then why did they come after you?" questioned Alphonse.
"Because we summoned up random, mass number of fangirls, there was no knowing whether they would be fangirls of us or not. However, almost all fangirls like Ed or Roy, so we put the resources to use," the guy with the palm tree hair, Envy, added.
"Mmmmm," hummed Gluttony, snacking on Roy's pants.
"Hey, how did he get here?" Roy wondered aloud. Gluttony continued to eat his pants. Taisa was about to send his flames upon Gluttony, but the obese homunculi ate his right glove off. A sweatdrop ran down Roy's head.
"A little help over here, guys?" he begged. Ed and company were about to rush over and help, but Envy and Lust stopped them in their tracks.
"You're not going to be saving anyone today," sneered Envy.
"Guys! Help! He's ate off my pants and underwear!" Roy screamed, "And now he's going to eat off my shirt!"
Be prepared for the shocking conclusion in Chapter Five!