"What the fuck are you doing?"

Remus had smelt the blood from outside the bathroom door, but had never expected to find this. Surging forward, he barely knew himself as he held Sirius' head back against the tile by his chin.

"What the FUCK Sirius!"

"What? What does it matter if a little Black blood goes down the drain? It's where it belongs don't you think?"

While the words stabbed at him, it was the blank look in his friend's eyes that sapped him of his anger. He had known Sirius despised his family, had even realised that hatred made him depressed him every now and then, but had never seen him with this blankness in his eyes and bone-chilling self-loathing in his voice. Still pressing him firmly against the tile, Remus was barely aware of the young man's body against his as he desperately searched Sirius' face for signs of his friend. Sirius, on the other hand, seemed unwilling to let Remus off so lightly.

"Come one Remus. Don't you think the Blacks are getting what's coming to them now they've been caught?"

"Shut up."

Sirius ignored him. "You more than anyone had reason to hate us." His chuckle was dry and humourless. "You never heard what they said about you, about your kind, behind closed doors."

"Shut up!"

Remus didn't care what they said. He knew Sirius was only trying to bait him, give him the pain he so obviously thought he deserved. The werewolf didn't need to be told what a bunch of purebloods said about him to feel like dirt. Worse than dirt, sometimes it was all he could do to feel anything at all after the school year was over and he went back to the fear and disgust of the wizards in his home town. Sometimes he needed, just for a moment, to feel something good in the world and would put himself in the hands of any muggle, male or female, willing to give it to him.

But Sirius was still talking.

"You're not just a mudblood, though that would be enough for them…"

He had to shut him up. Had to get life back into those eyes he had thought he knew so well.

"…no you're a mongrel alright, but it's the disease that gets them…"

Shut up, shut up, shut up. This isn't the Sirius I know. I can't stand to see that numbness in your eyes, that blood on your shirt…

"…you're infectious, a plague so vile you shouldn't just be killed, but burnt and the ashes laced with silver…"

Finally Sirius turned to look him squarely in the eye and the abyss he saw there was unbearable. Before he truly knew what he was doing Remus had seized Sirius' lips with his, kissing him as deeply as if he could force life into his friend with the act. Sirius scrabbled at his chest, trying to force him away, but was no match for werewolf strength as Remus reached for the other boy's belt and deftly undid it with one hand. For a moment Remus broke away from the kiss to concentrate on shirt buttons and Sirius gasped for air.

"Remus? What are you doing? Remus get off me!"

He had finished with shirt buttons and fly and held Sirius' gaze as he slowly moved his hands across the young man's beautifully defined chest and stomach, slowly down until one hand strayed into his underwear.

Sirius gasped for a different reason then.

Remus never let him look away as he spoke. "This is just one time. I just need…" Remus's gaze faltered, roving over Sirius's face, willing him to understand.

"It's okay." Sirius's voice cracked. "I just need to feel…"

That was enough for Remus and he reclaimed Sirius's lips, his friend's hands helping instead of hindering now, ripping off shirt and trousers both as the heat overtook them in the damp and the blood of the shower floor.