(Brian opens the door)
Brian: OH MY GOD its…….
(Before Brian could say anything he is taken inside and tape is put around his mouth.)
Stewie: Hey Michael who was at the door…
Michael Jackson: Some white dog…
Stewie: Oh my god…it's Brian…you know the bastard dog I was talking about…
Michael Jackson: Oh its him…the one that doesn't like my music…
Stewie: Yes, unfortunately, but on the bright side, I love it…
Michael Jackson and Stewie: Billie jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son. She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son.
Michael Jackson: The good times…
(Stewie takes the tape off Brian's mouth)
Brian: (chokes a little) what the hell man…what the hell
Stewie: It's a convention…of singers…
Voice from other bed in hospital room: Seven a clock in the morning and a raise from the sun wakes me. I'm stretching and yawning in a bed that belongs to Michael Jackson…then I say oh shit what am I doing here…I need to get my fucking crazy ass up out this hospital room…that belongs to Michael Jackson
Brian: R. Kelly
R. Kelly: That's me…
Brian: Oh god…everyone in the closet
(Brian opens the closet and it shows O.J. holding a butcher knife)
O.J. Simpson: Hi
Brian: Oh my god…everyone in the bathroom…
(Brian opens the bathroom door)
R. Kelly, O.J., Dave Chappelle and Michael Jackson: We want to piss on you…
Brian: Oh god we have to get out of here…
(Brian picks Stewie up and they run out of the hospital room)
Brian: God I'm glad that's over…
Stewie: I don't know…I rather enjoyed it.
Brian: Yea well that's because you're a homosexual
Stewie: Yea your probably right…
Brian: Let's go home…
(They leave the hospital)
(At the Griffin house)
Stewie: So I never saw mom
Brian: Yea, I was supposed to bring you to see here, but I didn't want to wake up Bill Gates again.
Stewie: Bill Gates you say…I could've killed him…
(Peter walks in front door)
Peter: Hey guys
Stewie: Go away Fat Man
Peter: Bite me
(Stewie bites him)
Peter: Ah..ahh…ahh..ahh..ahh..tsk…ahh..oww…ahh…ehh…aww…
Brian: Yea…well seeing as it's 7
R. Kelly from out of nowhere: o'clock in the morning and a raise from the sun wakes me
Brian: Yea…actually it's 7 p.m. and I'm going to the bar
R. Kelly: Sweet…I'm coming with you
Peter: Me too…
Chris: I'm going to go help Herbert in his garden…
(Everyone leaves but Stewie)
Stewie: Where is everyone…they can't leave me here alone…I wonder where Meg is…
Stewie sees a bubble…like a thought (In Hospital room 666)
Meg: Wow, and I thought you liked little boys Michael
Stewie: Oh god would she…yea she would…well I guess I will watch the R-Rated channel Lois doesn't know about…
(Turns channel)
Girl on T.V.: Oh yea…that's it…yea…that's good…oh yea…
Quagmire: Did someone call
Man: Who else but Quagmire
Choir: He's quagmire, quagmire you never really know what he's gonna do next he's quagmire quagmire…giggity giggity giggity giggity let's watch sex…oh
(Quagmire runs in the house and sits down naked next to Stewie)
Stewie: What the deuce…
Quagmire: Oh…sorry little man…didn't mean to be naked in front of you
Stewie: It's not that...it's because your penis is smaller than Brian's