(Later in hospital)
(Lois looks out door and sees Michael Jackson chasing R. Kelly.
(Meg walks into room)
Meg: Hi Mom…you won't believe what I did…I slept with Michael Jackson.
Lois: I thought he liked boys.
Meg: That's what I said.
Lois: Have you seen Stewie and Brian? They were supposed to come back to see me.
Meg: No, last time I saw Stewie he was with Michael.
Lois: Oh God, what'd he do to my baby.
Meg: I think they had chicken, potatoes, and some apple juice.
Lois: Oh, thank god…I mean he can have sex with you as much as he likes, but when he starts with Stewie…well he's crossed the line.
(Back to Griffin house)
Stewie: I can't believe I just did that, and…and it was so easy…I didn't know I could do it so easily.
Quagmire: Yea little man, maybe you'll be just like me one day.
Stewie: Oh…I don't look forward to that.
Vision
Stewie: Ok, so we have one in California, Michigan, Arkansas, Rhode Island, New York, and New Hampshire. Only 44 more states to go…oh…giggity giggity goo.
Vision Ends
Stewie: Yea…boy…don't want to be like you.
Quagmire: Well, I don't know, I think it'd be fun…
Vision
Quagmire: Breaker breaker 19…this is sexonyourfrontporch…we have two babes at twelve o'clock.
Stewie: Over…pull over that is…oh
Vision ends
Stewie: Hmm…seems as though we have slightly different outlooks on life.
(Brian walks in with R. Kelly)
Brian and R. Kelly in girl voices: Sex in the kitchen over by the stove put you on the counter by the butter rolls…continue singing, and they walk into the kitchen…ok, where's your stove…
Stewie: Oh god, the dog is going to have sex by my graham crackers.
Brian and R. Kelly: Sex
in the kitchen over by the stove put you on the counter next to
Stewie's graham crackers…
R. Kelly: That can't be right…
Brian: Oh god…we were going to do it…
R. Kelly: You were going to take advantage of me…
Brian: I just wanted free drinks you bitch…
R. Kelly: Fine, it's over
(R. Kelly runs out of the house crying)
Brian: It was never happening
Stewie: You were gonna have…sex on the counter over by the sto…
(Brian hits Stewie with a bat)
(Later in the hospital)
(Nurse walks in to Lois's room)
Nurse: Mrs. Griffin, it appears as though you are free to go home…
Lois: Thank God, I can finally leave this place.
Meg: You wanna grab some food in the cafeteria before we go home.
Lois: No, I'd rather go home and cook a late night dinner for my family.
Meg: Ok, but I can't promise they will all be there.
Lois: Why not…
Meg: No reason…let's go home.
(Later at the Griffin House)
Lois: Everyone I'm….OH MY GOD!
Brian: Lois
(Quickly turns off the doggy style channel)
Lois: My Baby
(Lois rushes over to Stewie, who is knocked out from the bat.)
Lois: Brian, what happened, and what were you watching?
Brian: Ummmm…it was the history channel, and Stewie fell down the stairs.
(Stewie starts to wake up)
Lois: Stewie what happened?
Stewie: All I remember is…Quagmire…and…oh god…it was so small.
(Lois, Brian, and Meg look questionably at each other)
Lois: It's a good thing your ok…let's take you to your bedroom.
(Lois walks up the stairs with Stewie)
Meg: So what really happened?
Brian: Well, I hit him with a bat, and I don't know about the Quagmire stuff. I guess they had sex or something.
(Later at Herbert's house)
Herbert: That is really nice Chris…it makes me feel so good…
Chris: Good, I was hoping that a full garden service for free would make you fell good.
Herbert: Yea, I bet that wasn't easy.
Chris: I even had to take my shirt off it got so hot…if it wasn't in everyone's view I would've done it naked.
Herbert: Give me a moment…(Imagines Chris naked)…Ohhhhhh…