Times Lost
Disclaimer: Not mine as usual.
Paring: Nick/Gil
Warning: Slash.
Authors notes: This fic has been rewritten several times, I'm not sure it is good yet, but it is okay. Please note that his one isn't betaed.
Gil Grissom sat on his sofa his mind a thousand miles away and his eyes were half shut. The night had been a horrible flashback. The two friends had drunk Jimson tea and ended up one in the morgue and one in jail. Even with his lacking people skills Grissom had been able to tell that when the kid said
"I loved the guy."
He was sincere and meant it as more than a friend. How he recognized himself in that. Some one else sat down next to him and Gil leaned in to his lovers embrace. They sat in silence for a while until Gil said.
"Remember when you asked me of my first love Nick? When I couldn't answer?"
Nick Stokes nodded and whispered as if the memory hurt him.
"How could I forget? It was our first fight and it was my fault."
Gil shocked his head.
"It wasn't your fault. You know the case I and Warrick worked on? The friends?"
Again Nick nodded.
"The survivor, he reminded me of me in a way. He killed his best friend and the man he loved. My first love was a friend of mine, Jim, very handsome and nice tempered, and he had my sense of humor which was why we were friends in the first place, anyway when we had been dating for a month we had been dating for a month we made love, once.
The next day he wanted to stay in but I insisted on going, we had been absent from work enough that month. We took our own cars incase one of us would get out early.
About a mile from work a truck drove straight in to his car. He was killed at impact.
Later the driver was convicted for man slaughter; he hadn't cared enough to see where he was driving. But I have still not gotten over it, that my, MY decision to go to work killed him."
When he had finished tears flowed down his face. Nick kissed his temple and held him close. Softly he murmured.
"You still love him, right, never got an end?"
Gil shock with silent sobs but answered.
"A part of me wonders what things would be like if he was alive and that part loves him dearly but then an other part loves you just as much if not more. I just feel so confused."
Nick tightened his embrace even more as Gil started to cry once more for a lost love he never mourned properly.
"I can't make him live for you Gil, but if I could I would. I love you, totally so please, please let me know how I can help."
Gil smiled through his tears
"You are."
Nick smiled warmly and kissed Gil softly.
"Tell me more about him, Gil, so we can remember those happy times. Please?"
Gil snuggled up to his lover and together they made a dead man live through the memories of his lover.
The End