"If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you"
In case you were wondering how my valentine's day went, well, Peter was thoughtful enough to pick me up in my bedroom, and we flew to Neverland to spend our valentine's day. I was really surprised coz he's never into mushy stuff, but he surprised me when we got there. He prepared a romantic dinner, not a candlelit, but a fairy-filled dinner. Fairy-filled because the fairies, which lead by Tinkerbell (she doesn't hate me anymore!), prepared the whole thing. Peter just instructed them of what he wants exactly, but it was really the fairies who worked hard to make our fairy-filled dinner possible.
At first I thought it was an ordinary setting so i quickly descended to the ground from flying, but Peter told me not to go down yet coz he has another surprise for me. And boy was I so awed when the fairies flew the table and chairs between me and peter. That's when I knew that we are going to eat dinner while floating in the mid air. I never knew that peter has a romantic side.
"If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you"
While we were eating, the fairies played a soothing music, and danced around us. That's when peter asked me if he can have the dance, and of course, I couldn't say no. so he slowly took my hand, and guided me towards the center, and we danced. We were just gazing at each other's eyes, and I knew that I am in love all over again. I'm not ashamed to admit that peter got me at one look. I can have millions of emotions by just one look from him. And his smile... it took all my worries away... I didn't notice that I was already staring at him, all hypnotized by his smile. This boy got to me really hard! I'm insanely in love.
"And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine"
After the dance, we slowly descended to the ground, and we both have these silly grins on our faces. He took me to the places we used to go, including the place where we had our first kiss... :) I visited the lost boys, and they were all rushing towards me, they almost knocked me out! I missed them so much; I got teary eyed upon seeing them. But what touched me the most was when they still called me "mother". They said that nobody can ever replace me as their mother. We can't get enough of each other, and the boys can't wait to tell me the stories of their adventures. After a long happy discussion, tootles asked me, "mother, cant you just stay here so father will be happy?" Curly added, "yeah, so we can be one big happy family!" And the others had their share of "yeahs" too... I just smiled. I simply don't know how to answer that. So I turned to peter for helping me explain to them the situation, but he intentionally looked away.
I just told them, "boys, just be good, and I promise to visit you here more often. Be good boys to your father while I'm not here, okay?" they just nodded, but with sad faces. I know my answer didn't really answer their question, but I couldn't lie. I couldn't tell them that ill stay forever when I can't. I have to grow up. I want to grow up. I love peter, God knows. I really want to be with him, but I just can't be with him. He refuses to grow up. I just don't believe that. Everyone should grow up. Including my first and my only true love, peter.
"Alright boys, I have to go. But I'll miss you." I hugged them one by one, and everyone has the same sad face. "I will visit you as soon as I can, okay? Don't be sad... your mother loves you so much...", "bye mother! We will wait for you!" the twins said in unison. I smiled, and walked towards peter. He smiled, and said, "let's go?" I nodded. And before we flew off, I waved at the boys, and a tear fell down my cheek. It's never easy to leave these boys. It's never easy to leave Neverland. And most of all, the most painful of all, it's never easy to leave Peter pan; the boy who owns my heart.
"All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly"
He's smiling, his eyes aren't. I can tell that he's forced to smile. He's trying to lighten up the mood by constantly joking and poking me, but it can't hide the sadness in his eyes. I was hurt. But I had no choice. I also love my family; my mom, my dad, my aunt, Michael, John... my family. They're my life. London is where I belong.
There he was, showing off his "acrobatic" moves in the mid air, flipping upside down, hiding in the clouds, touching the stars... and the more I laugh, the more I realize that he is hard to let go. I'm falling more and more in love with him as our journey progresses...he's just so charming...
When we finally saw London from the distance, he asked if we can rest first. I nodded, and we sat on one of the huge fluffy clouds. Peter never gets tired, so it kind of surprised me that he asked to rest.
Peter didn't speak, nor did I. we just sat there in silence. No one wants to speak up. Finally, after a long while, he spoke. "Are you really leaving us?" he asked. I said yes. He said, "Is that final? I mean, its not too late, we can still comeback to Neverland." I said, "I've decided peter. I'll grow up. I'll stay in London." he didn't reply. After a few minutes, he said, "wait here", and before I can ask him why, he flew really fast. I didn't know where he goes, but I hope he didn't leave me there for good coz I still need his navigation, I might get lost. I wondered where he went.
After a long excruciating while, if I estimated it right, I waited for about half an hour for him to come back. I breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing him again, for I thought something might have happened to him already. But he came back, with this cute grin and said, "can we go now?" I asked where he went, and he just said somewhere. I didn't bother to ask further, so off we flew to London. We arrived just in time, before sunrise.
"I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine"
As I was standing at my window, sadness occurred once more. Peter has to come back to Neverland, and I have to stay here.
"Bye peter." I said
"Bye Wendy. Happy valentine's day." he said
"Happy Valentine's Day too. This is the best day of my life, peter."
"Same here, Wendy."
We stared at each other for a while. It's hard to let go. But we have to. Suddenly tink made a sleepy gesture.
"Um, peter, I think Tink wants to go home."
"Uh yeah. See you next time Wendy.", and he flew
"Uh, peter!" he stopped and turned around
"Are you coming back?" I asked
He nodded
"You won't forget me, will you?"
He shook his head.
"Never."
And off him and Tink flew.
"And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
Cuz all i need
Is you, my valentine"
After he left, I was heartbroken. I lost my love once again. I cried for God-knows-how-long. There's nothing more painful than leaving Neverland. It breaks my heart every time.
A year has passed, and here I am, sitting by my window, waiting for my prince charming to come back. My Peter.
By the way, in case you were wondering where did peter go when he left me sitting in the clouds for a long while? I finally figured it out. Tinkerbell visited me one day and was nice enough to tell me what really happened. Apparently, peter can't afford to cry in front me of me coz he didn't want me to see him cry, so he hid in one of the clouds, and there he cried as much as he can. Tink told me he was just behind the cloud I was sitting at. He cries as he stared at me. Tink tried to consoled him coz he wont be able to fly if he will continue to have sad thoughts, so she tried to put a smile on his face by saying that I will never have any other love than him, and that he can visit me and take me to Neverland whenever he wants to. So there, it made him smile.
I really wish he'll come back soon. I cannot wait to have another adventure with him, with Tink and the lost boys. Hopefully when that time comes, I can finally convince him to stay here, and grow up with me, so I won't have to deal with these suitors everyday. My heart only belongs to Peter, that flying boy from Neverland.
"You're all i need
My love, my valentine..."