Chapter Six
The next morning Hermione awoke with a start. For a moment the morning seemed to her no different than any other. Then everything came back to her in a flash. She briefly considered just going back to sleep. However, she knew that was no solution. She slowly sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. The room was surprisingly warm. Somehow the fire was still burning. A house elf must have kept it going during the night, she suspected. Speaking of house elves, where were her belongings? She quickly double checked the room. Confused, she decided that Snape must have forgotten to ask for them. She quietly cursed his name. She walked toward the door, hoping that she wouldn't have to face her professor. Hermione was desperate for a long bath. She felt as if she was covered with all the filth of the world. She would just have to do without her clothes for now. She opened the heavy door and immediately saw her trunk directly in front of her. She almost felt bad, assuming the worst of Snape, but quickly pushed that feeling to the back of her mind. He deserved a lot more than a mistaken assumption, that much she was sure of. She instinctively reached into her pocket for her wand, to levitate the trunk, when she remembered about Lucius taking it. The memory of Lucius forced her to remember certain other events that she was not prepared to think about. She slowly lowered herself to the trunk and sat down on it. She hadn't felt such a longing for her parents in a quite a while. She greatly desired to be home and in her mother and father's arms. She also missed her friends and the thought of not seeing them, for God knows how long, frightened her, maybe more than anything else. She sighed and forced herself to stand up. She couldn't allow herself to wallow in self pity and grief. She was stronger than that..wasn't she? She bent down and began dragging her trunk into her room. She'd unpack later, now she needed that bath. Quickly grabbing some clean clothes she again headed for the door, hoping that the bathroom wouldn't be hard to find. Suddenly she heard a loud pop and jumped. In front of her a house elf had just appeared.
"Mistress Hermione, I've been sent to assist you with anything you might need help in. Have you eaten breakfast yet"
Judging from the voice and the somewhat softer features, Hermione assumed that the house elf was female. She looked up at Hermione expectantly, with her big blue eyes, a small smile plastered on her face. Hermione reluctantly smiled back and though she didn't wish to be rude to any house elf she had to set something straight.
"What's your name" she asked, as pleasantly as she could manage.
"Rosie, Mistress Hermione, at your service." she said with a low curtsy.
Hermione gave her a quick nod of the head.
"Rosie, thank you for your trouble, but you can tell Master Snape that, as I said last night, I don't need his help. You tell him that I plan on looking after myself while I'm here, so he really shouldn't trouble himself. I'm only here because the headmaster requested it and as soon as this baby is born I plan to leave and never have to look at Professor Snape's ugly face again"
She took a deep breath and sighed. She had meant to stay calm but that had proved harder than she would have thought. She looked down at Rosie. The house elf's eyes were watering and her lips were trembling. She looked positively frightened. Hermione again sighed. Great, this was all she needed right now.
"I'm sorry, Rosie...Don't worry, you don't need to tell him that. I was just blowing off steam. I can talk to him later on this matter."
Rosie sniffled, and taking a dirty, gray, cloth out of the sack she was wearing, loudly blew her nose.
"Please Mistress, you don't need to apologize to Rosie. Rosie is not worthy of such a gesture."
Hermione smiled gently at her. She knew there was no point in trying to get the house elf to stand on equal ground with her, so she let Rosie's last comment go. An idea occurred to her then.
"Rosie, would you please show me to Professor Snape's bathroom"
Rosie looked thrilled to be asked this small favor and practically jumped up and down as she answered.
"Of course, Mistress. Follow Rosie"
Hermione laughed inwardly. She suddenly realized that she was happy for the house elf's company, and she followed Rosie across the room. They went through a door and Hermione realized that this must be Professor Snape's lab. She groaned softly. Of all the things that could happen! She'd have to walk through her professor's bedroom to use the bathroom.
Rosie skipped across the room to another door. Then she opened it and motioned for Hermione to enter what was obviously the bathroom. Hermione went through the doorway and allowed her eyes to explore the room. It was large and clean. There were lit candles everywhere, causing Hermione to begin relaxing at once. Before Hermione could say anything, the house elf was drawing her bath and taking soap, and a large, fluffy towel out of a cabinet. Rosie said something about having breakfast ready for her when she finished and Hermione heard the door close. She at once began taking her clothes off and tested the water with her toe. It was perfect and she quickly lowered herself into the tub. She couldn't relax just yet though. Taking the soap she began vigorously scrubbing at her skin. She cleaned every inch of her body and then drained the bathtub and started over again. After three separate times of this she drained the tub once more and filled it for the last time. She slowly leaned back and finally allowed herself to relax and enjoy the bath.
This was as good a time as any to consider her options. McGonagall was right, things were clearer today. She gently touched her belly and wondered if she really was pregnant. It really hadn't sunk in, the previous evening, that she might actually be with child. She shivered involuntarily. It just didn't seem possible. She never thought this could happen to her. She was only sixteen and unmarried on top of that. She knew at once that having an abortion was out of the question. It wasn't her child's fault that it was conceived. However, what was she going to do with a baby? How could she finish school or start a career with a child? She was desperate to talk all of this over with her parents or even with Harry and Ron. Could it possibly be true that she wouldn't be able to see anyone during her pregnancy? The idea was overwhelming. She'd go positively mad with only Snape and maybe Rosie for company. With that in mind she reluctantly decided not to say a word to Snape about Rosie. The idea of only seeing Snape for nine months was frightening, to say the least. Maybe Dumbledore and McGonagall would visit her from time to time. That was something anyway.
She had only been up a short time and already she felt lonelier than she could ever remember feeling before. Laying her head back she closed her eyes for a moment than stood up, dried off, brushed her teeth, and got dressed. There was no mirror to be found, but that was probably for the best. Hermione imagined that she must look awful. She finally stepped out of the bathroom and was about to head for the door out of the lab when she noticed potion brewing over the fire and saw her professor standing a few feet away chopping something up. He didn't seem to notice her right away so she attempted to sneak out. This time, however, the movement attracted his attention.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Granger. How are you feeling" he asked, his eyes still on the cutting board. He sounded completely indifferent.
Hermione glared at him.
"How do you think I feel, Professor? How do most girls feel after they've been kidnapped and raped, as someone they had always trusted stands by and watches, even helps"
She again started for the door. But before she knew it her professor was standing in front of her, blocking the way. He looked into Hermione eyes intensely and grasped her arms firmly. Hermione tried to break free but he wouldn't let her go.
"Ms. Granger, What happened to you will forever be on my conscience. However, I have to stand by what I did. I tried to explain this to you last night but it didn't seem to sink into your mind. I need for you to understand why I did what I did. Ms. Granger, you ,of course, know of my role as a spy for the Order. It is a very difficult and important job. Of course I can't give you the details of what I do, but I am currently the only spy acting as a Deatheater, making my job indispensable. This, however, I was willing to throw away, last night, if it would have saved you. Ms. Granger, if sacrificing my life could have spared you what was to come I wouldn't have hesitated. But, the fact of the matter was, the only way to save you was to stand by and do nothing, so that you could be placed in my care after the rape. If I had tried to intercede in any way, the Dark Lord would not have hesitated in killing me. Imagine what would have happened to you if that had happened. Do you think that you would have been sent back to the safety of Hogwarts? Believe me, you would not. You would have been raped anyway and perhaps placed under Lucius' care, or someone else, but it really makes no difference. Your life would have been a living hell, and then there wouldn't have been any hope in sparing the life of you or your child. Think about this Hermione, think about it." he said. The last sentence spoken softly.
Hermione felt her professor loosen his grip. She gently pulled her arms out of his grasp and studied his face anew. He had just called her by her first name. He didn't even seem to have noticed. Hermione let Snape's words register in her head. She suddenly began crying. She hadn't considered the positive side to the situation. Things truly could have been much worse. Here she was in a safe environment and surrounded by members of the Order. If she had been forced to stay with Lucius she probably would have ended up killing herself. Her shoulders softly shook as tears flowed down her cheeks. Snape conjured a chair for her and gently helped her sit down. He then went to a shelf across the room, picked out a small bottle, and came back to Hermione. He opened the bottle and handed it to his student.
"Drink this, Ms. Granger. You'll feel better."
Hermione suspiciously looked at the bottle, then took it and drank it down. Immediately she felt a warmth flow through her and she no longer felt the need to cry. Snape handed her a handkerchief. She took it and wiped her eyes and nose.
"Have you eaten" he suddenly asked.
Hermione shook her head.
"No, I'm really not hungry."
Snape crossed his arms and looked down at her sternly.
"Ms. Granger, you'll just have to force yourself. It's very important for pregnant women to get enough nourishment."
Hermione nodded her head, looking at the floor.
"Professor, how can you be certain that I am pregnant? Isn't there a chance that I'm not"
Snape sighed.
"Ms. Granger, the chance is so slim that I'm afraid to even mention it. The last thing you need right now is to develop false hope on this matter. l will, however, perform the test on you. We do need to make sure. But first I want you to eat."
He helped Hermione up and she started for the door. As she reached it, Hermione heard her professor call out to her, and she turned around.
"Ms. Granger, please note that your personal bathroom is located behind the tapestry, in your bedroom, picturing two unicorns."
He then turned and walked back to the chopping board, leaving Hermione more than a bit embarrassed. She quickly left to find Rosie.
Hermione found her in the kitchen. As soon as she saw Hermione she smiled and motioned for her to sit at the table. Hermione sat and watched as Rosie brought over the food and drink. Eggs and sausage had been prepared along with a large glass of milk. Hermione looked at the food, overwhelmed. Well, maybe she could force down a few bites. The food did look good. She took a bite of the sausage and suddenly realized that she was extremely hungry. She quickly ate the rest of the food.
"Would you like more, Mistress" Rosie asked with a big smile.
Hermione smiled back, feeling somewhat better after having eaten.
"Thank you, Rosie, but I've had enough."
She wiped her mouth off with a napkin and stood up. She then started for the lab. The idea that she might not be expecting was a wonderful thought, but most likely unrealistic. Hermione tried not to get her hopes up but that proved harder than expected. She timidly knocked on the lab door and entered without waiting for an answer. Professor Snape was standing across the room by a table, mixing something in a bowl. He looked up and frowned.
"It'll be a few minutes yet, Ms. Granger. I'm just finishing up the cream."
Hermione, always curious, walked over and looked into the bowl. The cream was white and odorless. Hermione, for once, was stumped. What was he making? She had never heard of using cream, of any kind, for a pregnancy test. She decided to look around as she waited. Up until now she hadn't properly examined the room, as she had the others. She was a bit surprised. All the other rooms of Snape's were bare and neat, this room however was the exception. There didn't seem to be any order to anything. The room was filled with endless cauldrons, bowls, jars, books, vials, dried herbs, and other ingredients. Hermione examined some of the books. There were many books that she had already read, but still more that she had never even heard of. Most of them were, of course, related to potions. But the rest of the books seemed to cover every other subject she could think of. He must love reading, Hermione guessed. She hoped that her professor would allow her to borrow some of them. Just then Snape interrupted Hermione from her thoughts.
"The potion is ready, Ms.Granger. Come over here and sit on this stool."
Hermione obeyed. She made herself comfortable and looked at her professor.
"Professor Snape, would you mind explaining to me what you're about to do" she asked as politely as she could.
Her professor was busy rubbing the cream onto his hands.
"This potion was invented by a man, two hundred years ago, who's wife had lain in a coma for three years. He was desperate to see into her mind to discover whether there was any life left in her, see if she was able to think at all, in her coma. The purpose of this cream is to develop a deep psychic connection with whomever the person touches, while they're touching. The cream can also be used to determine if there is more than one life force in a person. In order to do this, the best way to go would be to touch your bare belly with my hands."
He looked at Hermione expectantly and she stared back with a small frown.
"Ms. Granger, for heavens sake, what is the matter? Do you want this test or not" he snapped.
Hermione sighed and lifted her shirt to expose her belly. Snape gently placed his hands on her and closed his eyes in concentration. Hermione was surprised by how warm her seemingly cold hearted professor's hands were. She studied his face. He really wasn't an ugly person. Why had she always thought that of him? She sighed and also closed her eyes. Only an hour ago she had hated this man. She hadn't even realized until now that that had changed. But why had it changed? Why did she now feel so comfortable and safe being with him? At any other point in her life, the idea of being touched by this man would have been repulsive. Now it was almost...nice. Hermione suddenly realized what was happening and opened her eyes in panic. Snape was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Hermione was mortified. Snape removed his hands and Hermione's shirt dropped back down.
"Well, Ms. Granger. I am sorry to say that you are undoubtedly with child."
He picked up a towel and wiped his hands clean. Hermione's mind was racing. On one hand, it was now definite that she was pregnant (however, she really had already known that, deep down). On the other hand she had just exposed some deeply private thoughts at the exact moment her professor was connected to her psychically. It seemed however, that Snape was going to pretend it never happened. Was that good or bad? He turned back around and looked her over with seeming concern.
"Are you alright, Ms. Granger" he asked, with a slight frown.
Hermione started and gave a small nervous laugh.
"Of course, now if you'll excuse me, I need to start unpacking my trunk."
She quickly walked away leaving her professor somewhat bewildered.