Disclaimer: Not mine…nope.
A/N: Please oh please review! I do warn you, this chapter is a bit dark, but what do you expect with what has happened! Lol. Please review. There are still plenty of surprises coming!
Chapter 20
The Dark Corridor
The first time Lucius noticed her eyes was outside the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey released the girl from her care with the promise that she would stop by before dinner for the next three days for her to check Hermione's progress. Naturally, Harry and Ron arrived to escort her to the common room. As they stepped out into the corridor Harry and Ron were actively talking and joking around hoping to rope Hermione into the conversation. She remained silent.
As they turned to travel down the corridor, they noticed Lucius Malfoy standing there and stopped walking. Ron glared at Malfoy hating him more than ever. Harry scrutinized his every movement hoping for some sign that he was mistaken. Lucius' eyes locked on Hermione's and he noticed it…her eyes did not hold their usual fire…they were nothing more than empty orbs offering nothing more than a shadow of the pre-exiting fire they held. Lucius' eyes shifted between the boys. He couldn't very well say he was heading to the hospital wing to see that she was truly alright.
"Miss Granger, do not forget you have a training session tomorrow evening."
She nodded her head.
"Yes, sir."
Her voice was small and weak just as Severus had warned him it would be, but it didn't prepare him for it. The boys protectively took an arm each and led her passed Malfoy. He watched her disappear down the corridor.
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Hermione sat silently by the fire. There seemed to be a whole world going on around her filled with happy cheerful voices and laughter. It was too much. As she sat there not uttering a word images would flash through her mind…reminding her. She felt so numb as she looked around at the laughter that surrounded her, but didn't seem to touch her in any way. She spoke to no one. She responded to any welcome backs she received with a small smile and nod. She didn't want to be surrounded by all these people even if they were busy in their own conversations and activities. A flash caught her attention and she looked up at Colin. She said nothing and her face held nothing but a blank empty dead stare before turning back to the fire.
Only a moment later she quietly stood up, unnoticed, and headed for the portrait hole. As she stepped out the Fat Lady spoke.
"Miss Granger, I am under strict orders to not allow you to leave without an escort."
She sighed, not having the energy to argue. The Fat Lady whispered something to her friend Violet. In a flash, Violet was gone and back again. The Fat Lady smiled slightly.
"Go back inside the Common room. An escort will be here shortly to collect you."
Nodding slightly, she walked back into the portrait hole and back to her seat in the shadows by the fire. She sat in her own silence and waited. She barely noticed the sudden silence of the common room. Slowly she turned her head to see Lucius standing just inside the portrait hole. The depth of the emptiness in her eyes was startling to Lucius.
"Miss Granger, are you ready?"
Nodding she stood up and followed Lucius out of the Gryffindor common room. The entire house watched her leave. Harry and Ron stood there and once she was gone, they looked at each other. Harry could still see the anger in Ron's eyes.
"I don't care what we agreed on, Harry. We need to talk to her about this Malfoy thing as soon as possible."
Harry looked toward the portrait hole and nodded his head in agreement.
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Hermione had looked so out of place in the common room. There was so much laughter and play occurring in that room that no one seemed to notice the girl doing her best to hide in the shadows of the life around her.
She didn't speak in the corridor. Lucius watched her walking next to him in complete silence. She didn't walk with her usual confidence. Instead, she walked with her arms wrapped around her own middle as if trying to hold and comfort herself. Lucius wanted to say something anything to help her, but he knew better. Nothing he could say could make this all better, nothing could make it go away. For the first time in longer than Lucius could remember, he felt helpless.
At the portrait hole to the head's common room, Lucius stepped up behind her and said the password for her. She silently walked into the room followed by Lucius.
"Father," Draco said as he stood up from his work.
"Draco."
They both stood there and watched Hermione walk over to the sofa and curl up in the corner of it. Her face remained emotionless. Draco watched his father stand there for a moment just watching Hermione before he bid his goodbyes and left the common room.
Once he was gone, Draco sat on the sofa.
"Hermione, we are in charge of the Valentines Day ball." He shrugged. "Something Dumbledore had planned all along so McGonagall is going along with it. We need a theme beyond Valentines Day I guess."
Draco was hoping that if he spoke to her like nothing was wrong she would respond. It bothered him not seeing the Granger he knew. Slowly sitting up she looked at Draco and he too noticed her eyes. He watched her look at the papers on the table and she asked in such a frail voice "have you come up with any ideas?"
Draco shook his head.
"Ginny tried to help, but we didn't come up with anything any good."
She nodded and then stared back at the portrait hole as if she expected Lucius still to be standing there.
"Famous Couples," she whispered.
Draco's face lit up. They worked on the details for the next thirty minutes and then Hermione quietly went to bed.
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Everyone thought with Hermione back in classes things would return to normal. They were wrong. She remained silent in each class, never raising her hand, and barely taking notes. As the day progressed, each professor began to worry a bit more with her silence. She just sat there. Her face didn't even hold its usual excitement toward learning. She seemed like an empty shell sitting in a class, just going through the motions.
Lucius came across the trio in a corridor a bit before dinner. Ron appeared very irate, while Harry didn't look happy but rather disturbed.
"How can you love him! I saw it Hermione! He hates you! He always will!" Ron was pacing back and forth in front of Hermione. "Come to your senses!"
Lucius was grower angrier by the minute watching Ron rant at the girl. What threw Lucius and Harry off was that Hermione didn't have her usual reaction to Ron's angry rants and accusations. Usually she would stand as tall as she could, jutting her chin out, and with a quick wit she would stop Ron mid rant. She wasn't doing that though. There was no anger flashing in her eyes. In fact, her eyes barely followed Ron back and forth, as she stood still waiting for him to finish. When he finally ended his tirade, she looked at Ron without one ounce of emotion on her face. In the same quiet, passionless voice she said, "Are you finished?"
Harry scrutinized her a bit. Something was not right, this was not the Hermione he knew. Ron seemed flabbergasted at her statement.
"Is that all you have to say? Hermione…"
Lucius had had enough. He stepped out of the shadows and glared at the redheaded imbecile.
"That is enough Mister Weasley." He held his hand out for Hermione and she confusingly took it. As Lucius led Hermione over to his side, he looked back as Ron. "Detention…after dinner every day this weekend with Filch." He dropped her hand once she was out from between the two boys and sneered at Ron. "You truly are a disgrace to the name of wizard." His head turned to Harry. "Do you have something to add so you can join your friend in detention?" Harry remained silent. "Miss Granger is to see Madame Pomfrey right now."
Lucius eyed the boys menacingly so that they walked off, first glancing at Hermione. Once they were gone, he led her to Madame Pomfrey.
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"If you need to talk about anything, I am always here."
Madame Pomfrey gently patted the girl on the shoulder. Hermione nodded her thanks and slowly slid off the bed. Lucius stood off in the corner watching and waiting.
"I'll escort you to the Great Hall. I am sure dinner has begun."
He held the door open, and Hermione smiled briefly at him as she walked out the door. The trek to the Great Hall was done in silence. Hermione said nothing and neither did Lucius. He would glance at her on occasion, but said nothing. He did not try to fake a conversation as if she would join in or try to force her to talk to him. Lucius was just there…there in every sense of the word…he was like her anchor, her rock…powerful and solid—there if she needed to save herself from drowning.
When Hermione entered the Great Hall, she paused, just inside the door. Looking over her shoulder at Lucius, she smiled slightly. Looking back down at the ground in front of her, she made her way to the Gryffindor table.
She tried to eat, but instead only moved the food around on her plate. Lucius and Severus sat at the Head Table together, noticing this. The whole world was going on around her. It was as if she had placed herself in this bubble separating herself from those around her. Finally, she placed the fork on her plate and stood from the table. Ron refused to look at her, but Harry looked up when she stood. He looked curiously at her and she simply smiled at him as if saying, "No, it's alright." He smiled back, but once her back was turned his smile faded and his eyes wandered to the Head table where Lucius was watching her.
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It was time for her training session. She left the Head's common room without a word to Draco. He watched her walk out knowing where she was going. Slowly and silently, she traveled the corridors alone, finally. As she walked, she let her hand slide against the stone wall that did not possess any portraits. Despite the many times she had traveled this corridor, it felt foreign now. Or maybe she was the foreign essence in the corridor now. As she walked, she could feel the air constricting around her as if the very walls of the castle were trying to cast her out.
Finally, she reached the door to Lucius' chambers. Severus and Lucius would both be waiting in that room. Briefly, she thought of talking to them about what was going through her mind. After all, they would be the ones to understand. Lucius barely heard the knock on the door and stood to answer it. He opened the door to Hermione, permitting her inside.
She walked in with a barely visible smile to each of the men. Severus eyed her up and down for a moment, scrutinizing her very presence in the room. Instinctively, she took a few steps back toward Lucius as if she were trying to hide in his shadow. Severus' eyes shifted to Lucius and his eyebrow rose up as if to say, "see, I told you." Severus cleared his throat and stood up.
"We are going to continue working on throwing off the imperius."
Hermione nodded. Slowly, she came out from behind Lucius and readied herself. It didn't go well. Severus noticed the change in Hermione through her work also. In the past, she would insist on trying over and over again until she accomplished it at least once. Now, there wasn't that excitement, determination, and urgency to succeed. There was only an intense desire to give up.
Hermione could sense Severus' frustration. When once again she fell all too easily under the imperius curse, Severus took the curse off and threw his wand cursing. Hermione cringed slightly and stepped back again. Lucius noticed her cringe and remembered in the corridor how she lacked any reaction to Ron's rants. He realized she felt safer with them, safer to show how she really felt. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose before turning to look at Hermione.
"Since when do you give up! I am not wasting my time on someone who will not put forth any effort…"
Hermione stepped out behind Lucius.
"Why am I the one not allowed to give up? Why?"
Her hands were clinched into fists at her side as she yelled at Severus. He realized as she ran out of the room that she was right. Everyone expected everything to go back to normal once Hermione returned. No one stopped to think that she was more than books and in realizing how this experience would change her no one stopped to think what that really meant. Hermione was expected to be the bookworm, to be the know-it-all, to approach any obstacle with a vengeance. Of course, even that aspect of her would be affected by the recent course of events.
"I'll go get her," Lucius said as he walked out the door.
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When Hermione ran from Lucius' chambers, she didn't pay attention to where she was running—she just ran. She could feel the walls and the castle itself rejecting her. Images flashed through her mind. The trees rushing passed as she flied through the air, kneeling before Bellatrix, Lucius being tortured by Bellatrix, Lucius' wand, Bellatrix's still body. Her heart pounded in her chest as she ran. The air and walls seemed to close in around her and she saw a shadow behind her in the corridor. J
Her dreams flashed through her memory. Desperately she tried to tell herself that the Shadow was something she created in her mind, not real. It didn't stop the panic she felt as she ran. She felt the tears streaming down her cheeks, tears she had not shed since she woke up in the hospital wing.
The corridor was dark. She turned toward a corner and leaned against the wall. Slowly, she slid down the wall and drew her knees up to her and just let the tears fall.
When Lucius found her in the corner of the dark corridor, Hermione was curled up in a fetal position on her side and crying uncontrollably. Lucius walked up to her slowly, cautiously.
"Hermione?"
Her teary eyes, no longer as empty and dead, was flooded with built up and pent up emotion.
"I killed her! I took a life! How could I do that? How?"
Lucius moved closer to her and sat down by her head. Gently nudging her head up, he patted his lap. Stilled curled up on the floor, she moved her head into his lap. She felt one arm drape over her pulling her closer to him. With the other hand, he smoothed her hair back. He knew what she needed.
"She would have killed you and me, Hermione."
She curled up tighter and he held her tighter as she cried harder.
"Let it go Hermione. It's alright, no one will hear. Just let it go."
And right there in the dark corridor Lucius Malfoy sat on the dirty ground holding Hermione Granger as she released every ounce of anguish she had been holding inside allowing to grow and fester. As she screamed and cried out "what have I done", Lucius felt the horror he felt when she first looked in his eyes after killing Bellatrix. He could feel her torment rolling off her with each anguish-filled cry and held her tighter as if keeping her from falling completely apart.
In the shadows of a darkened doorway, Harry Potter stood watching the scene before him.