CHAPTER 1

"AHHHHHHH!"

"Oh my…. She actually managed to…"

"Yes, that's Kagura-chan for you."

"WHAT DID YOU DO NOW?" I jumped up, startled by the sudden flame, borned just inches from my head near the stove. "DO YOU NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DAMN COOK!"

"Kyo-kun, I-I'm so sorry!"

"You're burning our house down, and all you can say is sorry?"

"Oh, Kagura-chan, Kyo is just angry because he thinks you are putting yourself up for too much. He doesn't want to see his lovely maiden going to all the trouble." Shigure snickered.

"WHAT!" I sat down and grumbled, and just fiddled with my chopsticks, still awaiting that promised breakfast.

"It's okay Kagura-chan," said Yuki calmly. With a sigh, he stood and began to put the flames out.

"Oh, Yuki-kun, so good to us all. How kind of you, hahahaha! I wouldn't want my house burnt down to bits, no less then I would want it destroyed by two lovebirds."

Chopsticks to face, they went. I really hoped they'd knock him out, but in all honesty, they were only a couple of light chopsticks. I tensed up, trying to keep myself under control.

"Kyo's soo mean…." He sniffed.

Kagura plopped down beside me. "Oh, I guess I was never really good at cooking anyway. Not like Tohru-chan for sure. Oh, woe is I! How will I ever be able to be a good housewife? How will I cook you dinner if I never learn! Oh, the tragedy!" Little tears trickled down her cheeks and she dropped her whole body to the ground, ranting on like an idiot. "Oh, Kyo-kun, forgive me! Will you not overlook this horrible shame!"

"I'm not gonna marry you, and you aren't gonna be my housewife! Just shut up already!" That should do it. She should get the point, stupid boar.

I should know better.

"I'VE ANGERED YOU HAVEN'T I! I 'LL LEARN TO COOK, JUST YOU WAIT. AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!"

In all honesty, how many walls can you ruin using my body in one day before the house collapses?

I scrambled back up to the table, shaking the rubble off my favourite shirt, just as a plate was set in front of me. I blinked questionably at the plate and looked up to see Yuki placing a plate in front of everyone with breakfast made.

Shigure of course was first to open his fat mouth, followed by Kagura's squeals.

"Oh Yuki, how wonderful! Since when did my little cousin learn to cook such a meal?" He said eyeing the plate.

"Oh yes Yuki-kun, this looks amazing! You fixed my mistake! Thank you!"

He quietly replied with a 'No problem', and sat diagonally from me. We all stared for a moment, before I broke the silence. "I don't wanna eat anything made by that damn rat! He's probably slipped poison in it or contaminated it with his girly-man bacteria!" I crossed my arms, as if to make it final.

Shigure ignored me and continued, "I didn't know you knew how to cook Yuki!"

After an another quiet moment, the damn rat said calmly, "You are all just blind. Honda-san left a note with several recipes and instructions on the counter…."

There was a silence followed by a big 'DOH'. Shigure scratched his head as a sweatdrop formed around the room on everyone's head. "Heh heh, well, Itadaki Masu everyone!"

I stared at the plate, and picked up a second pair of chopsticks. It was Tohru's recipe after all.. I mean one bite couldn't hurt right? I felt my stomach rumble, and I think it was loud enough for the others to hear.

"Eat up Kyo, it's really good!" sing-songed Kagura.

In between clinks of glass and Shigure's "mms" and "hahahahas" came Yuki's voice. "Just eat it you stupid cat. If I really wanted to kill you, it wouldn't be by poisoning. It's much easier just to beat you in a fight."

I managed to snap one of my chopsticks. "SHUT UP!"

Against my will I found myself rapidly shoving mouthfuls of food in my mouth. After less then a minute, I shoved an empty plate away and said, my mouth still full of food, "Dere, haffy! I atfe uur damf foof!"

"Oh, Kyo, don't talk with your mouth full, it really isn't a pleasant sight."

"Shut up, stupid dog," I said wiping away crumbs from my face and swallowing.

Yuki blinked, and stood up. "What…. A pig. Hardly a cat."

"THAT'S IT, YOU AND ME, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!"

He simply brushed past me to collect the empty plates, and cleaned up.

"Don't mind Kyo Yuki-kun, that was really good."

"Ah, yes it wasn't too bad. Leave it to Tohru-kun to think of everything, hahahhaa!"

Kagura glanced at her watch. "Ah! Late! Gotta run! Thanks everyone, sorry for the mess!" There she goes again. Does she ever stop glomping me?

"Oh, Kyo, I know our parting will be something of quite painful, but please wait for me, I'll be back as soon as I can!" She sniffed and squeezed me, so I could barely breathe.

"Leff…go!"

"I'm sorry my love, I must be off! Parting is such sweet sorrow!" She turned an eye to Yuki and Shigure. "Please do take care off my Kyo!" and before I knew she had gone, I realized I could breathe again. Yuki just raised an eyebrow and Shigure called after her, "Don't worry Kagura-chan, he will be safe in Yuki's arms! He'll take perfect care of him for you!" He waved, and settled back down, leaning back. "Ah, nothing like a good breakfast before a day of avoiding my editor. Ahh….."

Yuki and I tensed up at the same time, a dark shadow crossed both our faces.

"I'll kill you…."

Shigure blinked and looked up at us. "What? I didn't know you were so concerned for my editor…oh you young ones, who said the next generation was so thoughtless, hahahaha!"

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"Kyo, what'cha dooooin'?" a small voice asked.

"Go away Momiji."

"But why, Kyo, come out and play!" The little runt danced around my still, sitting position. He, in his stupid girly clothes. He then began to sing:

"Kyo, Kyo, come out and play!

It's nice, it's sweet, such a wonderful day!

The sun is out, the rays are dancing,

Not a cloud is about, the bunnies are prancing!

Such a wonderful day, come out and play!

Hooray, hooray, come out"—

"GET LOST!" I cut him off, and pounded his head.

"Whaaa, Kyo is hurting me! Tohruuuuuuu!"

"Tohru ain't here, go away."

"Oh, but why?" he blinked through large round eyes.

" 'Cause she ain't, now scram!"

"But Kyo, you're all alone on this porch. We can't have that!"

"We can and we will, for the last time, SCRAM!"

Momiji scrunched his nose and walked past me, up the steps and into the house. What is it, the Sohma Inn?

I sat, staring into the distance. What was I supposed to do on a day like today? This is stupid. I breathed and leaned back. No school, no Tohru to have saying all those dopey things she says…. What a boring day. The only thing I was glad for, was Kagura's absence. God, I can't stand her...Even if she's the only one who ever really cares for me. Why is that? I mean, why is it that she's always saying she loves me? Stupid girl…

My thoughts were interrupted by Momiji's chirpy voice chattering away, drawing closer.

"And then…uh huh! That's right! And he…. yup, and you would…. Yeah! You know, you are much nicer then Kyo, Yuki!"

"Oh, am I?" he said, not genuinely surprised to hear that. I could hear it in his voice.

Momiji raced up, back onto the porch and jumped on my back. "Hey, so Kyo, why are you so grumpy? Grumpy Kyo, grumpy Kyo!" I could hear the faint snicker from behind us.

"Get off me! How old are you, three! Have some manly pride stupid brat!" I pounded his head, and then he started his stupid crying again.

"Whaaa, Yuki, Kyo hit me!" He sniffled.

"He's just a stupid cat, he can't comprehend what's nice and what's not, just ignore him."

I jumped up and yelled, "You damn rat! You think you're all that, huh? You girly-men just like to stick together and gang up on us straight, guy-looking guys!"

They both blinked.

"Oh, Kyo, what are you going on about?" said Momiji curiously.

"Those sentences could use some work. And just because we dress ourselves more properly, and don't look like something the cat coughed up, doesn't mean we're gay or girly. Let me remind you, I can easily defeat you one on one." He placed a hand on Momiji's blonde haired head. "And everyone knows, being how he is, girl's clothes just suit him at the moment."

What was I supposed to say? Yuki just raised an eyebrow at me, and Momiji was searching his thoughts, trying to figure whether to be insulted or take it as a compliment.

"Well, anyway," the little runt broke in at last, "I think we should go for ice cream! C'mon Kyo!" he laughed, and jumped off the steps, "You too, Yuki! I promised Haru we'd meet him there anyways!"

Yuki sighed, and I growled again. He just stood there and smiled innocently.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GO ON PLANNING THINGS WITHOUT ASKING?" Yuki walked pass me and followed behind Momiji. Oh, so that's it? He thinks he can just get out of a fight by walking off with the squirt? Hardly!

"Get back here, I'm not done with you stupid rat!"

We walked off, how I'm dragged into these things, I really don't know.

"Oooh, does Kyo have a crush on Yuki? You seem to always follow him, Kyo! Heeheehee!…..OWWWW, Kyo that hurt!"

"Stupid cat….."