One Week Later…

During the last week, the children have been subject to many horrifying spectacles. Including another arts crafts session with Vincent. The second attempt worked out no better than the first. Ending with several massive paper cuts, two black eyes, and at least one concussion from a flying bottle of glue. Later they were treated to a rousing game of dodge ball, where Wesker and Chris wound up in another fight bringing the grand total 27, so far anyway.

William was sent to the first Aide office, after being decked by Sherry. Leon and Steve both managed to inflict a great amount of damage to each other in a ten minute slap fight. Later Jill and Claire managed to corner Alexia and beat the hell out of her. Wesker was bitch slapped by Alexia later the same day for drop kicking Alfred into the lake. Ark did manage to regain his memory for, at least a short period of time, after being knocked unconscious by a baseball the next day.

All in all things are not proceeding well for our little friends. Currently, we find our poor unfortunate vic…err…children sitting in front of the mess hall desperately trying to figure out if their parents are trying to get them killed by sending them here or they just don't like them. Most thoughts lean toward, death…

Several minutes later Richard wanders toward the children, carrying a clipboard, and looking a bit ill. In fact Richard just does not look happy to be here at all, poor guy.

"All right Children, time for a canoe ride!" He attempts to be perky, but is just not pulling it off

There is an intermixture of groans and whimpers from the children and a loud plop sound as Brad passes out. This is to be expected for most of the activities the children will be forced to participate in.

"Now, now, don't be that way, it's gonna be fun!" Richard leads the kids over to some waiting canoes and checks his clipboard. "Alright now, this is who I want in the canoes…

Chris with Wesker (glare at each other)

Claire with Jill (smile happily)

Kenneth, Joseph, Forest (shrug)

Annette with William (smile, well sorta anyway)

Steve with Leon (glaring)

Ark with Barry (exchange confused looks)

Alexia with Brad (Brad whimpers slightly while Rebecca sighs with relief and Alfred sulks)

Alfred with Billy (Billy groans)

Enrico with Sherry

"What about me?" Rebecca then mentally kicks herself for not running when she had the chance.

"Oh, you get to ride with a new camper, that just got here." Richard motions toward a dark haired boy who struts over. "This is Carlos."

"All the foxy girls love me." Carlos smiles, eyeing Jill.

Rebecca groans while wishing she could drop dead in the next 60 seconds, but then that just wouldn't be any fun. Slowly, everyone climbs into the their assigned canoes. Richard makes the unfortunate decision to climb in with Chris and Wesker.

In all honesty the trip started out pretty well, of course that couldn't last. Ten minutes after the trip started, things went to hell in a handcart.

"You're paddling on the wrong side!" Chris growls at Wesker from behind Richard. "You're supposed to have your oar on the left side of the canoe you moron!"

"Shut up Redfield!" Wesker snapped, moving his oar to the left side.

"Don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!" Chris counters, waving the oar menacingly at Wesker.

"Now boys…" Richard is look a tad nervous at this point.

Chris dove past Richard and grabbed Wesker by the throat, banging his head against the side of the canoe. This did not make Richard any less nervous, as the canoe was rocking very violently at this point. Maybe I should mention Richard has a tiny fear of water.

"AHHHHH! THE CANOE'S ON FIRE!" Brad waves his arms around wildly trying to put the flames out.

"Oh sorry about that." Alexia smiles shyly. "I thought I had that under control, my bad."

"I'll save you Alexia!" Alfred then tries to jump to his feet, promptly trips, and falls on top of Billy.

"Ahhh!" Billy slaps at Alfred repeatedly with one of the oars. "Rebecca get it off, get it off!"

"I'm having problems of my own!"

And indeed poor Rebecca is. It seems that young Carlos has become infatuated with Jill, as evidenced by his ramming their canoe into Jill and Claire's canoe.

"Hey there baby." Carlos winks at Jill, turning up the smile several notches. "Wanna go for a swim?"

Claire glances at Jill and sighs heavily, eternally thankful that she only has to deal with Steve and Leon. Jill groans and pulls out a clipboard, scanning over the pages rather quickly.

"You do not have brown hair, you are not a S.T.A.R.S. member, nor is your last name Redfield. Sorry, you lose."

Jill gives Claire a nod and Claire hits Carlos over the head with a paddle, sparing everyone more of his insanely bad accent. Rebecca finds this newest development very amusing. Meanwhile our two resident morons, Ark and Barry, are paddling in circles, oblivious to the carnage going on around them.

"Look, water." Barry points at the water. "I hope it's not Chris' water…"

Ark just stares at Barry, looking more confused than usual. Though I honestly didn't think that was possible. A few feet away, a minor disagreement has broken out between Leon and Steve.

"You're an idiot with bad voice acting!" Leon proclaims, jumping to his feet.

"Ya…well I get a cool love scene!" Steve screams, also jumping to his feet.

"Where, thankfully, you die!"

Our two fan boys now proceed to swing their paddles at each other. At least it's a tab bit more manly than slapping each other. A short distance from them is the canoe containing Kenneth, Joseph, and Forest. You know the extras who really have no use and such. Kenneth glances toward where Chris and Wesker are trying to kill each other and taps Forest on the shoulder.

"Do you think we should try and like do something?"

"Naw, with any luck they'll kill each other, and we'll never have to get near the mansion."

"We aren't that lucky." Joseph sighs, watching the fight between Steve and Leon. "At least it's good entertainment."

Meanwhile…bet you just knew I was gonna say that…William and Annette are soaking wet and sitting on top of their overturned canoe. Laugh, go on, it's funny.

"Honey." Annette turns, flicking a bit of wet hair out of her eyes. "How did this happen?"

"As scientists, we are physically inept."

"Which means we're not bright enough to row a canoe?"

"Basically, in a word, yes."

"But you created the G-Virus. Doesn't that mean that you're smart?"

"Yes I do indeed posses great intelligence." William pulled out a pen and several papers. "But it would appear that despite our great mental faculties, neither of us are adapt at physical activities."

"Isn't that rather stereotypical of the author?"

"I think she ran out of ideas at this point."

He is so right. Anyway, far ahead of everyone else Sherry and Enrico.

"Um, Enrico, isn't this the northern end of the lake?"

"Ya, why?"

"Well…ah…didn't Richard say not to come over here?"

Indeed he did, and for good reason. For right at that moment…Neptune popped his head out of the water. Enrico and Sherry stare at the large shark for exactly fifteen seconds before screaming in high girly voices and paddling in the opposite direction for all they are worth. The screaming pulls Chris's attention from his stranglehold on Wesker long enough to see Neptune heading for them.

"OH SHIT GIANT SHARK!"

Insert much screaming here, as needed for a good effect.

"BACK TO SHORE!" Richard yelled, throwing Chris into the back of the boat.

"Where's Brad!" Claire yelled, looking around wildly.

And let's see, just where is Brad. Ah yes there he is on shore. It would seem that Brad can walk on water, go figure. Man oh man did he book it across that lake too. Unfortunately Alexia is now in the canoe by herself.

"OMG! Does he actually expect me to paddle my own canoe?" Alexia stares around, expecting some sort of answer. "I might break a nail!"

"I'm coming Alexia!" Alfred yells, trying to sound manly and not quite pulling it off.

"Here I'll give you a hand."

Billy then tosses Alfred overboard. By this time William and Annette have noticed what is going on.

"Well, perhaps we should leave." Annette says, rather calmly while trying to row the overturned canoe.

"I concur."

Five minutes later everyone is on shore except Chris, Wesker and Richard.

"You're paddling on the wrong side…AGAIN!" Chris growled.

"Anytime you wanna sit up here, you try it golden boy!" Wesker snapped.

"Just keep paddling!" Richard looks ready to cry.

They finally make it to shore, with much cursing from Wesker and Chris. Who promptly get into yet another fight bringing the total score to 29. Richard climbs out of the canoe, shaking.

"A…A…A…Aright, th…th…that w…w…w…was…was…"

After a few more seconds of trying to speak Richard finally just passes out, whimpering softly to himself.

"C'mon, I think they're serving ice cream at the mess hall."

Everyone walks off, leaving Wesker and Chris rolling in the dirt.