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Tom stared at her the entire Potions class that afternoon, but she never once looked at him, or even glanced towards his general vicinity. Tom grit his teeth in anger. The bell rang, and she was the first to leave class, and Tom was unable to squeeze through the crowd around the door in time to get to her.
The same anger that had been inside of Tom the past weeks was rising inside of him even faster than before. After that lesson, he tried his best to simply not look at her, but they often passed each other in the halls, and they still had other lessons together.
Tom began to feel cold and withdrawn. When he saw the dark circles under her eyes, he found that he was unable to feel anything. Even when Dumbledore looked from her to Tom and back again, Tom could not feel angry.
Tom began to sleep fitfully, tossing and turning. He spent more and more time at the library, reading every word that he could find on dark magic. He pressed on into the layers of abandoned books in dusty corners of the library that contained the smallest of mentions of his new quest.
His experience with her had driven Tom to delve into a subject that was not spoken of at Hogwarts. He was sure that Slughorn or Dumbledore would have heard of it, and knew more than he could find, but Tom knew that he could never ask. It would draw too much attention to him.
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The rest of Tom's fifth year passed in a blur. After awhile, he simply did not allow himself to think about her. He threw himself into his studies, and he prepared for the summer that he knew would bring extraordinary changes to his future. He did not know if he had the strength, or even the gumption to complete it...but he would try.
On the last day of school, Tom was packing his books in his trunk, preparing for the train ride that would bring him to his obscured future. He grabbed his potions book, and as he did, the cover fluttered open and a letter fluttered to the floor.
Tom bent to pick it up, observing the envelope with Tom written on it in shiny blue ink. He knew that writing, and his hands shook slightly as he tore open the envelope to reveal the letter inside. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he began to read.
Tom--
There is a part of me that is unsure why I am even writing this letter to you. After what happened, simply passing by you in the hall has brought a part of my heart to hurt.
Tom, I do not know what happened between us, but there is something inside of me that tells me that I may have loved you.
I know that you were listening the day that I spoke to Dumbledore, and now I realize that I was lying when I told him that I trusted you, because I don't, and you did not trust me. If you had, you would not have hovered right outside the door.
I know how much you dislike Dumbledore, but the more I have thought about his words, I have come to the conclusion that he is correct. You have raw power, Tom. You had a power over me that I allowed myself to give into. I do not know what else I can say, but I do know that I could never forgive myself if I did not say goodbye.
Goodbye Tom, I wish you all the best and love,
--Arin
Tom stared at the letter for longer than he cared to know. He put his head in his hands and attempted to control his raging emotions. The old wound felt as though it had once again been mercilessly torn open. He gripped the letter and read it a final time before he put it in his pocket.
Looking around the dorm room, he knew that it would all be different when he returned for his sixth year. Everything would change from that point on. The green hangings would stay the same, but he would change in ways that the wizarding world would not even think possible.
With one last glance, Tom headed out to the carriages that would take him to the train, and as he stepped out, a small, single tear slid down his cheek. He quickly wiped it off his face with his sleeve. Knowing that it was the last tear that he would probably ever be able to cry again, he let his heart settle, and he set off.
Settled into a compartment on the train, he stared out the window as the hills and countryside rushed past. It was only once that he glanced out into the rest of the train, where he saw her. Her hair held its usual glint, and her eyes sparkled as she laughed with her friends.
Tom admired her beauty, but when he saw Charlus Potter come and wrap his arms around her, it felt as though he was being punched a second time around. He saw her look at Potter and give him that smile. The same smile that she had given him after the bezoar joke in Potions.
He knew that she saw him, off in the background, watching her. With sadness in her eyes, she gave him a tiny wave, and that was it. She turned back to her friends and to Potter, and Tom returned to his compartment, left to staring out at the changing scenery that signaled the uncertainty that awaited him.
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A/N: Sorry for the short chapter! I think that the next will be the final one, just for a heads up. Thanks for reading, and feedback is always truly appreciated. More to come soon!
