A/N: I apologize for taking so long on this chapter, I kinda forgot about Camp Umbrella for a bit. Work on my web site has been taking up a lot of my time.

Jill and Sherry sit around the campfire, with Joseph and Rebecca. No one else has gotten back from fishing and firewood gathering yet.

"What do you think is taking them so long?" Rebecca asks, roasting a marshmallow. "I certainly hope nothing serous has happened."

Sherry shrugs. "Who knows. But it is rather peaceful with everyone gone."

The peace Sherry was just talking about is shattered as Brad comes crashing through the trees screaming at the top of his lungs. He glances at the three girls and Joseph before taking refuge behind Jill.

"IT'S GONNA EAT ME!"

"What in the world are…."

But Jill's barely formed question is answered as Nemmy comes crashing into the campsite squeaking his usual mantra of starrrrsss in a high pitched voice. Brad screams even louder, curls up in a tight little ball behind Jill, and proceeds to suck his thumb. Nemmy spots his prey and stomps over.

"starrrrsss…"

Jill eyes Nemmy for a moment then picks up a rolled up magazine and bops him on the head with it.

"Bad Nemmy, bad! Brad is not for eating!" She stops, thinking for a second. "Well, not for a while anyway."

"STARRRSSS!"

Nemmy stomps his foot, looking like a petulant child. A very ugly, very scary, petulant child. Jill isn't having any of it. She shakes the magazine in his face and points to the empty spot on the log by Joseph.

"I said no and I meant no, now sit down!"

Nemmy sits down next to Joseph, pouting. Joseph pats him on the back and hands him a marshmallow and a stick. Jill sighs and starts to sit down when Brad suddenly grabs her around the ankles and proceeds to kiss her feet.

"Oh thank you Jill! You're my goddess, my hero, my…"

"Cool it Brad." Jill says, trying to get him off her feet. "Just sit there and…"

Billy, Kenneth, Barry, and Enrico walk into camp, carrying loads of firewood. The sight of Billy causes Brad to release his hold on Jill, jump to his feet, and begin running.

"Billy!"

"Ahh! No!" Billy stumbles backwards a mixture of surprise and horror on his face. "Heel, sit…ooooffff!"

Brad knocks Billy over, scattering his arm load of firewood. They both hit the ground with Brad sitting on Billy's stomach.

"Nemesis tried to eat me, but Jill saved me!"

"Greeeaaat, good for her." Billy glares at Jill, sounding anything but happy to see Brad still alive. "Isn't she just sooooo helpful."

"You have to protect me, he could try to eat me again in the middle of the night!" Brad whines, glancing back at Nemmy. "I'll pay you!"

"You make that sound like it's a bad thing. Besides, there isn't anything you could offer me that would get me

to protect you. Not a thing in this world is worth…"

Brad grabs Billy by the front of the shirt jerking his head up, so they are eye to eye. Billy is a bit surprised by the act of actual physical violence, though subdued violence it may be.

"I can arrange it so the Bravo Team's helicopter malfunctions and has to land near a train in the middle of the Raccoon Forest. Thereby causing Rebecca to become stranded alone with you for an entire night."

"Just call me Fido, your loyal watch dog."

"Well that's one RE mystery solved." Kenneth rolls his eyes as Billy practically grovels at Brad's feet. "Where's everyone else?"

"I thought they were with you?" Jill says.

While Barry drops a load wood on top of Enrico's pile, then examines it, Enrico goes on to explain just where the rest of the group may be.

"William went running after some local wildlife. Annette and Alexia were in the middle of a slap fight, when we left. Carlos was sitting there watching. I'm not precisely sure where Chris, Claire, Albert, Leon, and Steve went. I saw them heading toward the river just after breakfast though."

"That figures. What about Ark?"

"He was wandering around picking berries and mumbling to himself the last time I saw him." Billy mumbles, trying to walk with Brad clinging to his waist. "So it's anyone's guess where he might have wandered off to."

Ark stumbles into camp seconds later, covered in burrs, dirt, and dead leaves. He looks like death warmed over. He stumbles over to the rest of the group, plopping down next to Nemmy.

"You wouldn't believe what happened to me."

"Oh yes we would." Sherry mumbles. "Knowing the evil authoress such as we do."

"I was picking blueberries, minding my own business." Ark drops a few burs he pulled out of his hair to the ground. "When Steve came running by."

"Muffle….muffle….muffle…"

"I don't think he's done talking yet." Rebecca whispers.

"So Steve comes running by, screaming like a five year old girl, and runs right past me, knocking me into a ravine. It took me THREE HOURS to get back to the top."

"No wonder you look like hell." Kenneth sits next to Ark, grabbing a marshmallow. "And are covered with burs."

"But that isn't the end, oh no. So I finally climb back to the top of the ravine, and here comes

William…smack!" Ark slaps his hands together for emphasis. "Back down to the bottom of the ravine and now I can't remember who I am."

"Muffle…muffle…muffle…" Joseph points at Ark's head several times. "Muffle."

"Joseph's right." Rebecca nods toward Joseph then looks back at Ark. "You obviously got your memory back."

"Oh yea, after it took me two hours to climb back out of the ravine. So I get back to the top, and this blonde guy

with a bad southern accent shows up, calls himself Bruce. So he says he's looking for some dude named Morpheus, and asks me if I've seen him. So I ask what he looks like. Bruce says, Well he's about 6'1" with long white hair. Kinda looks like a Final Fantasy reject but without the kool clothes."

"Sounds kind of cute."

Everyone turns and stares at Sherry for several seconds.

"What?"

Jill just shakes her head. "So then what happened?"

"So then this Chinese chick, calling herself Fong Ling, pops up from out of nowhere and does this matrix style kick and knocks me and old Bruce over the embankment, and back into the ravine. Which is how I got my memory back. So who else is down there, but the Sephiroth fan-boy himself, Morpheus. So Bruce takes off after him, while I climb back up the embankment. This time I made sure the coast was clear before I hightailed my little amnesiac ass back here."

"So William is chasing Steve. Annette and Alexia are fighting, while Carlos watches. That only leaves Chris, Claire, Leon , and Al…."

Jill trails off, she seems to does a lot of that around here, as Wesker comes storming into camp soaking wet.

"Damn woman, throw my sunglasses in the river will she? I'll get her for that, her and that disgustingly all American brother of hers!"

Wesker mumbles a few more things about mindless heroes before stomping over to campfire and sitting down. Brad huddles closer to Billy, whimpering as Wesker glares at everyone present. Sherry sighs, popping a marshmallow in her mouth.

"Well, I see Wesker is back to his old self."

"Muffle…muffle…muffle…"

Rebecca nods. "I'm not sure it's an improvement either. Too bad he can't find a happy medium."

"What is everyone staring at!" Wesker snaps. "Well!"

Barry pokes Wesker with a stick.

"A drowned rat?"

"If I didn't need to keep you alive…I'd kill you!"

Wesker jumps up and stomps off towards his tent. Everyone just sighs, shakes their heads, and goes back to roasting marshmallows. About five minutes later Chris emerges out of the trees with Forest. Forest smiles and waves at the group.

"Hey guys."

"Dude I ain't seen you since Chapter 2!" Enrico yells, scooting over so Forest can sit down. "Where the hell you been?"

"W.C. forgot about me."

In a flash of awesome looking black smoke W.C. appears on the scene, dressed like Alexia. Brad screams and grabs Billy's arm. She coughs a few times, waving a hand in front of her face to clear out the smoke, and finally clears her throat.

"Yea, sorry about that Forest, lost my notes."

"No worries." Forest holds out bag of marshmallows. "Want one?"

"Sorry gotta run, things to do, characters to torture, you know how it is. Catch ya later!"

As W.C. disappears in another impressive display of black smoke, Brad faints. Billy just rolls his eyes and hands Chris a marshmallow as he sits down to Billy's right.

"Man I'm glad Wesker is back. Albert was getting on my nerves."

Everyone stares at Chris blankly. Chris looks around, then shrugs.

"What?"

Wasn't it you who said and I quote…" Enrico clears his throat. "Look, until he's a bastard again, I figure I may as well be nice to him."

"So, that doesn't mean I didn't find him incredibly annoying."

"How's Claire taking it?"

Chris doesn't say a word, just flips his hand toward trees. Claire and Leon emerge a moment later, the former is fussing over the latter, who has a rag held to his head. Rebecca slides closer to Joseph so the two of them can sit down.

"What happened to him?"

Just as Claire opens her moth to explain, Wesker emerges from tent in dry cloths and a brand new pair of Spongebob sunglasses. No one is sure if Spongebob is an improvement over Mickey Mouse or not.

"I beat his little pretty boy ass up, that's what happened!"

Wesker then proceeds to fall into a fit of evil, is somewhat high pitched, laughter. Claire narrows her eyes and throws a large piece of firewood at Wesker, hitting him in the head and knocking him unconscious.

"Shut up you arrogant bastard!"

Sherry blinked several times shaking her head.

"She certainly switched sides quickly enough."

Jill nods. "You're telling me. Wonder how Steve the fluff is gonna feel about this?"

"I have no clue where Steve is." Chris pops a marshmallow in his mouth. "Last time I seen him, he was bugging William."

"You know, I was just wondering where Alfred is." Forest looks around. "Has anyone seen him?"

"I haven't." Billy shook his head, spearing three marshmallows on his stick. "Not since just before we saw those outbreak people."

Suddenly Alfred runs screaming into camp, followed closely by two young children. He takes three seconds to look for shelter before spotting Chris. He girly screams as the two kids get closer and dives behind Chris.

"Save me!"

"From what?"

Alfred reaches up and turns Chris' head toward to the two children smiling and bouncing their way into camp.

"Them…" Alfred moans in an ominous, yet rather high pitched voice.

"Who are they?"

"Gun Survivor people."

Everyone shudders as an ominous scare cord is heard somewhere off in the forest. This is quickly followed by a very rustic rendition of dueling banjos. The dueling banjos turns into Stairway to Heaven, then Freebird, and finally trails of with End of Heartache by Killswitch Engage. The campers look at each other and finally shrug.

"Hey wait." Ark tilts his head, narrowing his eyes. "I'm a gun survivor person."

"Yea." Jill shudders again. "But your voice acting isn't as annoying as theirs."

Enrico nods in agreement. "She has a point."

"Muffle….muffle."

Leon glances at Rebecca, still trying to stop the blood seepage from his head.

"What'd he say?"

"He wants to know how we get rid of them."

Chris glances toward Wesker's unconscious form and grins rather evilly. Not a pretty sight on our hero I must say. He waves towards the two kids, then points at Wesker.

"Look kids, its…ah…Ark! Sick him…"

Lilly and Rott run over and pounce on Wesker. Wesker snaps awake as Lilly grabs a handful of his hair and jerks his head up. He screams and runs into the brush the kids right behind him. The children's really bad English accents, and Wesker's panicked voice, can be heard as they retreat farther into the forest.

"Wait Mister, you have to save my brother!"

"Hey, you're the detective!"

"Get away from me you evil little gnomes of destruction!"

"Oh man." Ark shakes his head, but he's smiling. "That was cold, but effective."

Chris grins. "I thought so."

"I almost feel sorry for old Wesker, no one deserves to be chased by those two. They're more annoying than

me." Alfred stands up and sits down by Leon. "Has anyone seen my sister?"

Alexia saunters out of the forest, with Annette and Carlos.

"Man that was great!" Carlos looks at Annette grinning broadly. "You two are awesome!"

"Well, now you know how to disable an opponent with only a ball of string and a lighter."

As everyone stares at them, Alfred jumps out of his seat and grabs Alexia around the waist. He then proceeds to cry loudly.

"Oh Alexia it was horrible! I was being chase by two annoying children, with horrific voice acting, and bad fashion sense."

"There, there Alffie, the bad children are gone." Alexia pats Alfred on the head.

"So that's what Wesker was running from." Annette sits down next to Leon, grabbing an uncooked marshmallow and popping it in her mouth. "I was wondering what he meant when he said…Pint sized bringers of pain and suffering…as he ran by."

Enrico stares at Annette. "I thought you and Alexia were fighting."

"Oh goodness no, I might break a nail." Alexia looks horrified. "We were merely showing Carlos some self defense skills."

"Man, those two chicks kick ass dude!" Carlos flops down next to Brad. "I mean I didn't know you could kill someone with a piece of lint."

As Carlos goes on to explain how this incredible act is pulled off, Brad finally regains consciousness. Billy grabs him by the back of the shirt and pulls him back into a sitting position on the log.

"Welcome back Brad, you missed the gun survivor kids."

Brad turns a pasty shade of white and faints again. Billy just shakes his head as Brad's limp body falls off the log once again.

"I guess that only leaves Steve and William."

"Where is my genius husband?"

Leon looks around, or tries to while Rebecca tries to clean up his head wound.

"Yea, where is Steve the Wonder Fluff anyway?"

Steve runs screaming out of the tree line. Forest tilts his head.

"He's the third person to make an entrance like that."

Jill sighs. "It does seem to be a trend."

"HELP! PURPLE RABID ZOMBIE CHIPMUNK!"

Chris. "Purple…"

Leon "…rabid…"

Barry "…zombie…"

Billy "…chipmunk?"

"Oh dear, I believe my William has been experimenting again." Annette sighs.

Steve jumps over the fire and hides behind, of all people, Leon. This causes everyone to display confused looks on their faces. Leon stares at a purple chipmunk that's just leapt out of the trees into the clearing.

"Don't be expecting me to save you!"

Steve glances up at Leon.

"I'm not I'm hoping the evil little creature will eat you and choke to death."

Leon grabs Steve by the throat and attempts to throttle him. While Leon does that, William comes running into camp.

"Oh there you are Albert."

William scoops up the chipmunk, smiling. The other campers stare at him like he lost his mind. Chris is the first to voice his opinion.

"Albert?"

"He appears to have the same temperament as our esteemed friend Mr. Wesker. Therefore I theorized that he would be well named, by christening him Albert. I didn't feel Wesker suited the young fellow very well."

Jill goes slightly cross-eyed. "What did he say?"

"The chipmunk has a bad attitude like Wesker. So William figured it was a good idea to name him Albert, because just plain Wesker didn't sound right."

Annette smiles. "Oh Carlos, very good. You're learning to speak evil genius very well."

"Where is young Mr. Wesker?" William stuffs the chipmunk into tent with the bunny. "I expected him to be here perhaps engaging in some more of his ill-fated perkiness."

"Running from some kids."

"Hmmm…interesting." William jots down some notes.

Wesker bursts back into camp, looking winded and slightly bedraggled. Apparently those Gun Survivor children are very persistent.

"REDFIELD!"

"Oh man he looks pissed." Leon says.

Wesker then jumps Chris.

"Muffle…muffle…"

"I'll ask." Rebecca finishes the bandages on Leon and turns to Birkin. "William what's the count up to now?"

"Well, even with the brief respite, when Albert was affected by…"

"Short answer, please."

"69."

Suddenly Miss Perky bounds onto the scene. It should be mentioned all the poor forest animals she's been torturing the past couple of hours are rejoicing at the thought of her annoying someone else.

"Alright children time for spooky ghost stories, yea!"

Everyone groans while Chris and Wesker roll around in the dirt.

A/N: Oh yes, it's time for ghost stories. Will Brad keel over from fright? Will Wesker and Chris break up their fight long enough to tell a story? What could possibly scare Alexia? And what is that creepy noise heard in the forest? All these questions and more will be answered in Chapter 9.

BTW the bit about the dueling banjos comes from the movie Deliverance. I sort of ripped it off and twisted it around. Hope you liked!