A/N: To answer a recent question: Yes, when one of the characters pinches the bridge of their nose, it's because they are annoyed or exasperated about something. Thank you…let the madness continue…
Three days until the big show…
And so the rehearsals continue, much to the dismay of our poor campers. Except Forest, who is probably the only person even slightly happy. Why you may ask? Well, Miss Perky decided that the narration might work better if someone other than Chris did it, since Chris also has a lot of singing to do. So Forest, much to his undying glee, is not going to be forced to dance and/or sing at all. Of course this means that Joseph, who up until now really had no part, has to pick up the slack and do all of Forest's dance numbers in the big dance scenes. Needless to say, he's not very happy at the moment.
It's not surprising that we find our victims rehearsing in the Main Hall…
Carlos stepped up to Alexia. Alexia then does a small spin and lands in his arms. Everyone present is more than slightly surprised to see that Alexia and Carlos can Tango, in fact I'd go so far as to say they are completely stunned.
Carlos and Alexia proceed to tango. Then Carlos spins Alexia into the arms of William, as he opens his mouth to sing. Something else everyone present is more than a little shocked about, the fact that Carlos can sing.
Carlos: Roxanne! You don't have to turn on that red light!
While Carlos belts out his lines, William spins to Ark, which is not that great of an idea…believe me. Ark attempts to spin her to Leon, but instead steps on her feet and almost falls on top of her. Alexia is not pleased.
"YOU IDIOT!"
Alexia mutates and sets Ark on fire. To which he responds, by running around in circles waving his arms frantically. He kind of looks like Brad, when Brad decides to freak out.
"HELP!"
"STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!" Claire shouts. "STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!"
Finally, Chris and Steve douse him with a bucket of water. Ark falls face first into the floor, moaning in pain, as little wisps of smoke curl off his poor battered body.
"…owww…pain…"
Miss Perky appears undeterred by this setback. In fact she doesn't look even remotely concerned about poor little Ark's injuries. Ark, in the meantime, has passed out from the pain.
"Alrighty then, let's move on to the seduction scene."
5 minutes later…
Chris: My gift is my song…(bit softer) and this one's for you. (turns to look at Jill) And you can tell everybody that this is your song…
Jill slowly stands up, from her sitting position near the mock bed. I must say she looks quite err…lovely in her little black lingerie. Enrico swallows the lump that has just stuck in his throat and leans toward Rebecca.
"Isn't that a bit revealing?"
"Just a tad."
Suddenly…ever notice a lot of things happen suddenly around here? But I digress…
Anyway…
Suddenly WC pops out of nowhere in a puff of black smoke, dressed like Jill from RE3. The music stops abruptly as the authoress walks across the stage to address her readers. The assembled campers do not appear pleased to see her.
Brad screams with fear and faints, hitting the floor with a loud plop. Billy just rolls his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. Wesker groans loudly, wishing there was a way to kill WC off. Steve and Alfred both look more that a tad bit worried. Chris and Jill are trying to sneak away. Claire is hiding behind Leon, who is hiding behind Barry. Sherry and Annette are both cowering behind William, who is cowering behind Alexia. Enrico, Kenneth, Forest, and Joseph are all hiding behind Nemmy, whimpering softly to themselves. Rebecca and Carlos are hiding under Miss Perky's chair. Finally Ark is still unconscious and Miss Perky looks uncharacteristically pissed off.
"I'd just like to say that the various RE characters are supposed be around fourteen years of age." WC smiles brightly, tugging at the hem of her very short skirt. "Hence the reason I am able to get away with putting them is such skimpy outfits. Also…"
Miss Perky interrupts our esteemed, if slightly sadistic authoress, by jumping to her feet and waving her clipboard around wildly.
"EXCUSE ME!"
"Don't you go shouting at me Miss Perky!"
As WC clears her throat, to finish saying whatever it is she was planning on saying, Miss Perky's eyes widen. She lets out a feral growl and jumps WC from behind, tackling the authoress to the ground. The entire ensemble of campers are shocked and in unison:
"Holy shit!"
As Miss Perky proceeds to beat WC roughly about the head and shoulders, the campers cheer her on.
"Kick her ass you perky bringer of pain you!"
"Go Miss Perky go!"
"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"
While WC and Miss Perky roll around on the floor, William pulls out a small notebook and starts jotting down notes.
"My this is an interesting development."
"Um, shouldn't we put a stop to this?" Carlos winces as something that sounds very much like a breaking bone echoes through the room. "I mean they might kill each other if this continues."
"I don't think so." Sherry smiles brightly. "I mean, you say that like it's a bad thing."
"starrrrsss…"
"I agree." Alfred squeaks. "That damn authoress deserves it."
Miss Perky belts the authoress in the head with her clipboard. WC topples backwards, landing on top of the unconscious Ark.
"Owww" Rebecca winces, sympathetic to the now flattened Ark. "That's gonna leave a mark."
"RIP HER THROAT OUT!"
Everyone stares at Leon, who is now jumping up and down in a very spastic Fan Girl-like way. Steve shakes his head, inching slowly away from him.
"Dude you need medication or something…"
Suddenly the fight turns in WC's favor. WC whips out a hardback copy of Stephen King's The Stand, where she pulled it from you don't want to know, and proceeds to beat the hell out of the Miss Perky. I should perhaps mention the book WC is bashing Miss Perky with is quite long, 1153 pages. Needless to say, it makes a good weapon.
"Don't…"
(whack )
"…you…"
( slap)
"…even…"
(crash)
"…think…"
( smack )
"…about…"
( pound)
"…telling…"
( boing )
"…me…"
(sploit)
"…how…"
(crunch )
"…to…"
(blong )
"…do…"
( bling )
"…my…"
(doink )
"…JOB!"
WC is breathing heavily and the book now severely damaged. Miss Perky is covered in bruises and is currently unconscious. The assembled campers look first to Miss Perky's bloody body, then up at WC and shudder. WC straightens up, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt. As she clears her throat, she tosses the book over her shoulder…which smacks poor Ark in the head. That boy is going to need some serious medical attention when all this is over with.
"Now, as I was saying…"
Wesker nudges Miss Perky with his foot. "I think you killed her."
WC tightens her fists, now even more pissed off about being interrupted. She spins around, shaking a finger under Wesker's nose.
"One more word and I'll having you married to Alfred. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
"Yes Ma'm." Wesker squeaks, looking ready to pass out.
"Now, you will be seeing most of Moulin Rouge during the big show. That is all."
Everyone breaths a sigh of relief as WC disappears in a puff of black smoke. From the floor Miss Perky appears to have awakened.
"…time…for…a…break. Pretty birdies…"
As she passes out again, the campers all look at one another, shrug, and beat a hasty retreat from the building. Rebecca pauses long enough to grab Ark by the leg and drag him along…