A/N: Let the madness escalate!

Two days until the big show…

Having been unconscious most of the previous day, Miss Perky has ordered our campers into double overtime rehearsals. The campers are, understandably, not pleased. We find them sprawled across the stage, having been granted a small break.

"If I hear one more time to kick higher, followed by a big YEA." Sherry mumbled. "I'm gonna snap."

"I know what you mean." Jill moaned. "She's worse, if that's even possible."

"She is indeed a very…" William trails off, racking his brain for a word harsh enough to describe Miss Perky. "… demanding person."

"No dear, she is a slave driving ass of mega proportions."

"She's more annoying than Steve or Sherry on helium!"

Leon is promptly slapped by Steve and Sherry. No one on the floor seems to care much. In fact, Leon doesn't even retaliate.

"Is this torture almost over?" Alfred whines.

"Two more days…" Carlos winced at a strong pain in his leg. "Not counting today."

"…starrrrsss…"

"I almost wish that chipmunk had eaten me." Steve moans. "I really, really do."

"We all wish that chipmunk had eaten you." Leon painfully lifts his head. "But for other reasons."

Steve lets out a high pitched squeak and pulls together enough energy to jump Leon. A slap fight ensues, no one cares. Everyone seems more interested in knowing where Chris and Wesker have scampered off too. They suspect they have either beaten the hell out of each other, or escaped.

"Where is Wesker and Chris?" Claire somehow found the strength to lift her head and look around. "I haven't seen them around lately."

"Actually I thought I seen them talking in one of the dressing rooms." Forest mumbled, pointing offstage. "At least, that's where they were a few minutes ago."

Everyone is now surprised into silence for a full five minutes. After finally collecting their thoughts, they then proceed to bombard Forest with questions.

"Just talking?"

"They weren't fighting?"

"Or trying to rip out each other's throats?"

"Or trying to strangle each other?"

"Or beating each other in the head with large heavy objects?"

"Nope." Forest shook his head. "Just calmly talking."

"I would have never thought that those to would engage in a civil conversation." William jots down several notes. "Random violence I expected, but not civility."

Kenneth, blinked several times. "What the hell did he say?"

"Beat each other senseless, yes." Annette grimaces at how rough her voice sounds. "Talk, no."

Just as William was about to spout off more random scientific observations, Wesker and Chris walk on to the stage from the dressing rooms. Everyone present are shocked that neither of them are sporting bruises and/or broken bones. Ark is the first one to shake off the shock and speak.

"What the hell have you two been doing?"

Chris shrugs. "Talking."

"To the treacherous bastard…about what?"

"Miss Perky and the Authoress."

There is a loud scream as Brad huddles behind Billy at the mere mention of the authoress' name. Billy grits his teeth, trying to remember why he hasn't killed the little coward yet. Meanwhile, Claire just rolls her eyes and clears her throat.

"And why in the world were you discussing them?"

"As the authoress is somewhat evil, much like myself." Wesker grins, evilly I might add. "We were hoping we could persuade her to get rid of Miss Perky for us."

"For once Wesker and I are in agreement." Chris actually looks like saying that caused him a great amount of pain. "Ms. Perky has to be stopped at all costs, before she kills us with these rehearsals."

"But calling on the authoress…"

Leon's statement causes a universal shudder.

"Dude, she's like a total psycho!"

"For once Steve has a point." Rebecca shakes her head. "There's no telling what she might do to us once Ms. Perky is dead."

"Look that maniacal slave driver has to go." Wesker is now going slightly spastic. "She won't even let me beat anyone up!"

There is a ten minute discussion about the pros and cons of calling on the authoress. Finally it is decided that, although not a great plan it IS the only plan they have at the moment. There are two points that no one has brought up yet however. First, how do they contact the authoress and secondly, who is actually going to do the asking. In fact, who will be doing the asking is the topic currently under debate.

"Alright, whose gonna do the asking?" Wesker glances at the campers, who quickly look off in some other direction. "Oh come on you shallow little cowards!"

"You do it." Chris pats Wesker on the shoulder. "She likes you."

"She threatened to marry me off to Alfred!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

Everyone ignores Alfred's loud shout of indignation.

"Come on you coward! Look at the pen name" Chris points to the top of the browser. "Wesker Chick, dude. I mean she's in love with you!"

"It was your idea." Wesker fires back. "And I am not a coward!"

Jill whispers to Claire. "Get ready to up the count to 70, the temporary truce is about the fall apart."

"Looks like it."

However before our two archrivals can attempt to inflict pain upon one another, WC appears on stage in a puff of black smoke dressed in Rebecca's alternate leather outfit from RE0. For some odd reason she is carrying a burlap sack.

"Ok you two, enough." WC pulls Wesker and Chris apart. "If you want my help, be nice for five seconds."

Barry being the moron he is, turns to Ark and asks a very stupid question.

"How did she know we wanted her help?"

"She's the authoress, she wrote the damned thing you moron."

"Oh."

Meanwhile, Sherry finally works up enough courage to ask about the sack.

"What is the sack for?"

"Oh this?" WC holds up sack. "I was at an anime convention looking for Albie look-alikes. No luck. Now what is it you want?"

Before anyone can ask WC why she asked them what they wanted when she already stated what they wanted several lines up, Chris shoves Wesker forward. Wesker turns pale, well, paler than usual, and clears his throat.

"Can you get rid of Miss Perky for us?"

" Indeed I can. Where is the little…"

Just at that moment, Miss Perky walks out on to the stage.

"Alright you slackers! Back to…" She spots the authoress. "YOU!"

"Yup. However if we must battle, better attire is called for." WC snaps her fingers and the Rebecca costume turns into Wesker's STARS uniform from Remake, sunglasses included. "Now then, shall we begin?"

While everyone present stares blankly at the new costume, wondering just how she pulled that off, Wesker glares at WC. I guess he's getting over his initial fear of the strange and sadistic WC. Of course he doesn't exactly make his thoughts known very loudly, in fact it kinda sounds like he's whining.

"That's my outfit, plus she stole my sunglasses."

Miss Perky whips out a clipboard, brandishing it with menace and a very insane smile. WC, on the other hand, displays a Wesker like smirk and pulls out a large poke ball.

"I choose you Dan Helsing!"

There is an audible plop as everyone's jaws hit the floor. Given the amount of violence WC is capable of, with what has happened in the previous chapter, they were expecting something more along the lines of a large gun or at the very least another heavy book.

WC yawns and throws the poke ball at Miss Perky. Special guest star, Dan Helsing, pops out of his poke ball, runs across the stage, chops off Miss Perky's head, and then returns to the poke ball. WC is whistling a tune from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as she tucks the poke ball back into her pocket.

"Now then, with my work done…"

"Excuse me Miss Authoress." William taps WC on the shoulder, causing her to turn. "With Miss Perky permanently disposed of, we are left without a leader. You did promise your viewing public the Moulin Rouge show. I'm afraid I must point out, however much it grieves me to do so, that we will need a new Head Councilor."

Kenneth looks slightly crossed eyed. "What the hell did he say?"

Carlos translates. "With Miss Perky dead, we need a new Head Councilor."

"Oh."

"It appears I was a bit hasty in my execution of the former Head Councilor." WC smiles, patting William on the head. "I will have to remedy this situation as soon as humanly possible."

William is now staring at WC in awe and wonder. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say he is now in love with her. Annette on the other hand, looks jealous. Meanwhile Kenneth is confused again.

"What did she say?"

Alexia and Carlos both translate. "She needs to get us a new Head Councilor as soon as possible."

"Oh."

WC snaps her fingers and once again changes clothes. Now she's wearing Wesker's outfit from the RE0 flashback. For those of you in the viewing audience unfamiliar with this outfit, it would be a black turtleneck, black dress pants, a lab coat, black shoes, and sunglasses. Wesker is quietly seething abut his stolen outfit yet again, but is still smart enough not to confront her about it.

"First of all I believe that the new councilor should be from the RE universe." She snaps her fingers again and a pile of RE strategy guides fall into her hands. "No more chances of this perkiness happening again."

Claire looks at the pile of books and sighs. "This may take a while."

Jill: You could be right.

"How about Marcus?"

Billy and Rebecca yell in unison. "No fricking way! No leeches!"

"Only one dress wearing freak thank you!"

Everyone is now staring at Alfred. Unfortunately, Alfred has no idea why.

"What?"

"Alright then." WC sighs heavily, throwing the Zero book over her shoulder and moves on to Remake. "I suppose Richard…oh no I killed him in chapter 13. Kevin I killed way back in like chapter 2." She throws out Remake's book and opens up the RE2 book. "Hmmm well I've pretty much exhausted that game as well."

She moves on to RE3. "How about Nicholai?"

"No way, has like a total dick!" Carlos snaps. "Besides I think we only need one treacherous bastard thank you!"

"You people are so picky."

WC tosses the RE3 book over her shoulder and moves on to CVX, drooling over several pictures of Wesker.

Several Hours later…

"Alright, it seems you are now stuck with…" WC snaps her fingers and Morpheus appears out of thin air. "Morpheus is now your new Head Councilor."

Everyone groans.

"Well I could head into RE4, I'm sure Ramon Salazar would be more than happy…."

Everyone freezes, looks at one another, then hastily (in unison) says:

"No! That's ok, Morpheus is fine! We love Morpheus."

"That's good to hear, have fun!"

As WC disappears in a puff of black smoke, Chris glances at Wesker.

"Is this an improvement?"

"I'm not sure…"

A/N: Thanks to Dan Helsing for eliminating Miss Perky for us! (cue claps)