Evanescence
Chapter One: Bloom
She inwardly wondered how it would feel.
To burn so brightly, free of all restraints, of any and all concern for caution,
and then be snuffed out just as quickly.
Pure, unfettered emotion.
She wondered if the petals on the flowers were the same.
One by one, they fluttered to the ground. She absently continued to pick the pale, pink petals and watched as each fell into place. Fingers grasped another petal, the life within flickering for an instant before being completely cut off.
The flowers bloomed late this year, she noted as another petal was quickly plucked. The leaves rapidly had begun to change, turning to deep reds and warm yellows. Fall had snuck up on them, yet again, and she stared directly at the shrinking bloom before her.
How would it feel?
Another petal fell.
She raised her eyes as the wind coursed over the grass. Flower still in hand, she threw an indignant glare over to her leader.
She had felt his eyes.
She had always felt his eyes.
They rested upon her as she sat, and watched as she proceeded to examine and take apart the innocent plant. The look on his face was calm, and rather insightful. A loose petal fluttered between her fingers and she let it go, the wind whisking it away. Robin's unabashed attention to her actions made her more than a little self-conscious, and if anything her glare only grew darker before withering completely.
A look passed briefly over his features. One of those looks that all too often told her that something was on his mind, and as he began to approach her there was no doubt left in her mind. The flower was still within her hands.
For a second she contemplated crushing it, just to feel it disintegrate between her fingers.
To have that final little light be smothered.
She reasoned that it was merely inevitable.
The flower's beauty was fleeting, and crushing it in its prime would preserve it.
It would prevent its decay, the death that seeped into its every pore, claiming it quickly and draining all of the promises that rested within the bloom.
She would save purity before its corruption.
Leaves crumbled under his steps and Raven peered up at Robin. The forlorn look that had claimed her eyes before was gone; pride owed her that much in respect to her feelings and the importance of negating them.
"…Can I help you?" she replied, her stare never wavering.
"I noticed that earlier, you'd wandered off." Robin started, continuing to watch Raven closely. "You didn't come back, so naturally I-"
"-Decided to be yourself and check up on me. You're overreacting." she interrupted, before plucking another petal from the flower.
He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "By feeling concern? Raven…"
Another petal was rapidly removed, and her eyes flitted between the flower and Robin. They came to rest on him, and the pitying glance resting on his features made the scowl return in full force.
"Don't look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like…" I'm something to be pitied. Something wretched. Something far from your precious Sta-
She froze, emotions already beginning to be pulled back into the dark recesses of her mind, and glanced back up at Robin. "Nothing. Never mind." This time she had been the one to overreact and she regretted that fact.
"I wanted to be alone, nothing more. …I wanted to experience the sudden shift in weather."
"It's peaceful. Quiet." Robin noted, before smiling. "We're not exactly the most silent of groups, are we?"
"Not together. Once separated, that fact rapidly changes. At least for Cyborg, and you."
This time he watched the fluttering petal as it drifted away into the fields. Once the light pink had fully disappeared into the expanse of the fields he settled into a crouch. "Habits are…difficult to break." He stated, turning back towards Raven. "And you've definitely made it a habit of moving from room to room without anyone noticing."
"…I prefer to keep it that way. I don't have to always announce my presence."
"Even though you do? Every day you come out of your room you announce yourself, only to creep away again whenever the focus of the conversation changes to you." Raven snorted at this comment, and his lips curved into a bitter smile. "Raven…"
She met his eyes again and silence enveloped everything. The light hum of voices in her mind was the only thing preventing her from solely focusing on Robin. Knowing that she was once again bearing the full brunt of his unadulterated attention almost brought a sneer to her face.
Why even bother? Why waste your time?
The warm feeling that had been flooding her chest now threatened to burn it. Another breeze drifted by and she sighed, moving her eyes back to her lap and the flower intertwined with her fingers.
"So, does he love you yet?"
Her hand hesitated, wavering above a petal that had yet to be plucked and somewhere in the distance she suspected that all of the windows on the left side of the tower had conveniently exploded. Her eyes snapped to Robin's masked ones, as a smirk crossed his once serious features.
"Wh…What is that supposed to mean?" she spat, trying to once again mask discomfort with annoyance.
"You've been plucking at that flower for a while now." He responded, trying to keep from laughing at Raven's conflicting expressions. "It's a game better suited for children, but sometimes people pluck the petals off of flowers whenever they're curious about someone they care for."
"He loves me, he loves me not…"
His voice trailed off and Raven held his gaze once more.
"What…a silly idea." A surprised look now covered Robin's face as he regarded an indignant Raven. "Such are the ideas of children. Foolish, irrational…"
"…But honest." He insisted, taking her hand and holding it between them.
He watched her for a few seconds until her expression had finally sunk in. She appeared as if she had been slapped, a look of pure shock and confusion covering every facet of her normally stoic face.
He dropped her hand a second later, a tired laugh escaping his lips. "However, it seems like I'm the one who's being foolish."
Robin flashed her a sheepish grin and she slowly shook her head. "No, that's not true-"
"Robin!"
He whipped around at the sound of his name and immediately relaxed as he got to his feet. Starfire was drifting over the flowers as she peered across the field at the two of them, and her voice quickly reached them despite her distance.
"Robin! I trust you have spoken to friend Raven? Cyborg was hoping to have us participate in the tossing of the "pig-skin" after feasting!"
"Sure! Just give me a moment!" he turned back to Raven, whom he noted, once again had her mask firmly set in place. "Want to go? I know Cy would love it if you'd be referee."
"You go on."
"Raven…"
She glanced up at him and the pout that threatened to appear at a second's notice. She frowned and made a shooing motion with her free hand. "I'll get there in due time, just go and wipe that silly look off of your face."
His warm smile was all that she thought of as he ran away over the field. Was it wrong for her to believe that he had done that just for her? It was yet another memory that she folded up and stored with great care.
She watched as Starfire enveloped him in an affectionate hug and all whispers fell silent.
Such was the cycle.
A secret tempered by the coldest of truths.
How long would she willingly go around in circles?
As they walked away she turned her attention to the all but forgotten flower in her grasp.
Still living, still vibrant.
Soft tendrils of black energy crept up the plant and sank into its every pore, seeping into its very being. Her violet eyes peered at it as it darkened in shade and floated before her, caught in the grasp of her energy.
She observed it, sheer apathy etched into her features.
She blinked and the dark energy pulsed, crushing everything within it.
Pure unfettered emotion.
It was all she could do to focus on the broken item before her instead of the furious beating of her heart.