Word of God
By: Jesus Loves Meh
Hi
I'm God
Nice to meet you
I'm omnipotent and all seeing
If you didn't know that already
But hey, listen, we need to have a little talk
Creator to…um…product
Yeah, you see, there's this thing I've been meaning to tell you
Jesus, well…isn't my son
I had nothing to do with that
I mean honestly, how was I supposed to know people would believe that?
I thought it was funny
A man goes out and fasts in the desert for 40 days
40 days!
Then says he was tempted by Satan
After 40 days most of you all would swear to meeting Elvis and being anal probed by aliens
Besides, Mary wasn't a virgin
Any fool knows that
She just didn't want people to get pissed
That she had unwed sex and got knocked up
Honestly, who'd want to be thought of as a hooker, not I.
I mean, come on people, Jesus was voted on to be my son
What a load of crock
Sorry if you feel misled, it's understandable
I just didn't want to crush your hopes and dreams
Jesus was a Jew
Just a Jew
Nothing else
Good guy, but just a Jew
Which isn't a bad thing.
I kinda like Jews.
They are after all, they first to follow me
Poor people get loads of crap all the time
But they own just about everything
But just don't take my word for it
Anyway, just go live
And if I hear one more thing about this Jerry Farwell guy,
Making people's lives miserable
Because he has insecurities and has to degrade other human beings
And take away their freedom in my name
Someone is so smite-ed
Now I'm gonna go do something God-like
Because for some reason that's my job