Disclaimer: Which of the following isn't true: A-zebra's are black with white stripes B-Anthony Hopkins is a great actor or C-I own Harry Potter

If you guessed C you are correct!

Authors Note: Hallo! I loooove this story. Got done with the outline last night. WHOO it is LONG! Expect much, much more of this!

Beta's Note:Hey! As you all know, I am currently the "beta" of this story. But, my sister decided that since I do so much work on the story, including editing, and story ideas, the name co-author fits just a little better. How I love being a creative genious.

The weeks past quickly. Hermione settled in nicely to the group, and they spent almost all of their time together.

After Charms one day, during a free period, Hermione came back from the library to see the Marauders all sitting around a floating, upside-down Christmas hat, chatting merrily.

"What's with the hat?" Hermione asked as she stepped in the Common Room.

"Secret Santa. We were waiting for you to get back so we could start drawing!" Peter squeaked excitedly.

Hermione grinned and sat down around the hat with the rest of the bunch.

"Alrighty then. James, you first!" Sirius said nudging him in the ribs with his elbow. James grinned as he pulled out the small piece of paper, which read Sirius. Sirius made a dramatic show of reaching into the hat, acting like it was eating his arm, as he picked out Peter. Remus closed his eyes, and his heart leapt as he read Hermione! He immediately began panicking, but stowed away his emotions for now, as to avoid the looks he would get if he began muttering to himself. After all, he remembered what happened the last time he did that. Merlin's Asylum for the Mentally Disturbed was not a pretty place, no matter how many tranquilizers were needed to restrain you. Peter danced around on the hat and read his name James. Hermione reached into the hat bravely and picked out the name Remus.

"Ok. Remember, NO TELLING! That takes out all the fun!" Sirius barked.

"Lily, would you like to go shopping in Hogsmeade with me? We could do our Christmas shopping, too!" Hermione said to Lily as she walked over. Lily, of course, complied and began chatting animatedly about the presents they would buy, and the guys, sensing a long bout of "shopping talk", slunk out of the room.

"Close one, eh?" Sirius muttered to Remus. "Remember when we got dragged into that discussion about whether Lily's has a 'winter' complexion or a 'summer' complexion? That must've lasted hours! I was starving by the end of it!"

"Sirius, it only lasted five minutes. It seemed like hours to you because you pretended to have a hunger seizure and knocked yourself out by running into the wall over and over again."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

Lily and Hermione had a great time in Hogsmeade. Hermione found the perfect gifts for Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily.

For Remus, she got a large book of complicated spells. James and Sirius each got personalized metal flasks (for Firewhiskey and other alcoholic beverages, one can assume). For Lily, Hermione picked out a set of beautiful multicolored quills and ink. Peter got a set of pajamas with little dancing rats all over them, seeing as how Peter's current set of pajamas was rather ragged and holey.

"Lily, is there an apothecary here, by any chance?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

They walked down, as Hermione planned in her head.

The Wolfsbane potion would not be invented for 20 years. During Hermione's third year, after figuring out that Lupin was a Werewolf, she immediately did some research on the complicated potion, reading everything she could. She had secretly learned to make the Wolfsbane potion herself, since Harry had mentioned a suspicion that the smoking goblet of potion was being poisoned by Snape. Secretly, she had switched the potions as protection. Even though she fully trusted Snape (although she had no fond thoughts for him) she wasn't about to take chances. She hoped that she could find all the ingredients she needed, as this was going to be her Secret Santa gift to Remus.

She looked carefully through the isles, mentally checking things off as she picked them up, mumbling to herself every once in a while. After picking up everything she needed, she paid, and she and Lily headed down to Madam Puddifoot's to have some tea and meet up with the boys.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were already at a table, enjoying tea and small frog-shaped cookies, with pink icing. Sirius in particular seemed to be enjoying them a little too much, as he kept giggling at the sight of them and saying things like, "So cute!" in a breathy voice. After he had earned a fair share of weird looks and people backing away from him, he had the sense to stop. The Marauders had apparently been Christmas shopping too, as there were bags piled up around them. They chatted merrily, and then went back to the castle, occasionally being stopped by passing carolers.

In the next several weeks, Hermione went to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom every day to make the Wolfsbane potion. She had carefully written out the exact instructions as she worked, so that Remus could make the potion for himself. On the day before Christmas Eve, after many failed attempts, Hermione finally got it right. She bottled it in a flask, and wrote a note to him:

Remus,

This is the Wolfsbane potion. I have been working long and hard on it, and I have figured out a way to make your transformations less painful and dangerous. Instead of turning into a werewolf, you will simply be turned into a regular wolf. In other words, you will keep your mind during your transformations. Please trust me; I know what I'm doing. Enclosed are instructions for how to make the potion, so that way you can have it all the time instead of only on Christmas.

From,

Your Secret Santa

P. S: Do not add sugar or any kind of flavoring to it, it will make it very useless. Also, you must start drinking it about 2 days before the full moon or it won't work properly.

She smiled, boxed the flask and note, and wrapped it in bright green wrapping paper, adding a tag with Remus' name on the top of it.

On Christmas Eve, she skipped out on dinner, and put the present under the tree where they had agreed to put the Secret Santa presents. She was hungry, yes, but what if someone came and took it? Then they'd all know Remus' secret. She sat down and finished her Transfiguration essay, patiently waiting for her friends to return.

The Marauder's returned to the dorm after what seemed like an age. They settled around the tree and one by one opened their Secret Santa presents.

Sirius received a gift certificate to Zonko's. James got a bottle of Firewhiskey. Peter received a large box of Honeyduke's finest.

Hermione opened a wizarding camera and picture development kit, along with an empty scrapbook with HG emblazoned on the front in fancy lettering. With a note: I hope you have many happy memories to fill this scrapbook with. Merry Christmas. From your Secret Santa

Remus reached for his present. Hermione's heart pounded wildly, feeling as if it were about to burst. He tore the wrapping off the box, opened it, and all the marauders fell silent as they read the note.

Remus immediately put on a fake grin as he looked up at Hermione.

" Merlin's Moon-Shine. Strongest alcohol in the world. I'll save it for later though". He quickly put the note back in the box along with the flask.

They talked for a while, although Hermione noticed that Remus seemed very uneasy and nervous, and kept shooting glances to the Marauders nervously. Catching the hint, Hermione fake yawned and said she wanted to go to bed as she was very tired. She gave each of them a hug and trudged up the dormitory steps.

BACK IN THE COMMON ROOM

"Remus, mate, that is really amazing! I can't believe someone would go through that trouble to make it, it looks really complicated." James said, reading through the directions for the potion again.

"The potion doesn't even exist. Don't you think we would've checked something like this out, James? Whoever gave me this invented it. They must've known a whole lot about advanced potion theory. If you look at the ingredients though, it could work." Remus said thoughtfully.

"But what if it's a trick?" Peter said quietly, twitching

"Do you really think a friend of his would trick him like that? It'd be awfully mean." Sirius replied.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care if it's a trick; I might as well try it. Full moon's already passed this month, though, so I'll try it in January." Remus insisted.

"Well, we'll wait and see." Sirius replied in an all-knowing kind of voice that made the other Marauders stare.

Hermione awoke the next morning to a pair of large black eyes staring at her. She shot up in her bed and screeched "SIRIUS! What the HELL are you doing in here? Didn't the staircase turn into a slide like it always does?" She glanced over at the clock. "IT IS SIX IN THE MORNING! WE DON'T HAVE CLASS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"The Marauders are waiting for you so we can give you your presents, and visa versa, we hope. And I know how to get past the slide." He said, jumping up and down like he was four years old. Hermione grumbled, slid on her slippers, and headed down with him, sliding down the staircase next to him.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Peter piped up loudly, hopping around much as Sirius had done. She grinned as she looked around at the whole group, James in a Santa cap, Remus sitting quietly, Sirius bringing around flasks of hot chocolate he had gotten from the house elves. "Thanks" Hermione said gratefully.

James picked up a present and gave it to Sirius. "It's from me. I know you'll love it" James said as Sirius opened a large bottle of Merlin's Moon-Shine. "How ironic. Here's your Christmas present from me," Sirius replied, grinning as James opened a bottle of Merlin's Moon-Shine also.

"What luck," Hermione said to them, "open my presents to you!"

James and Sirius each tour the wrapping paper off of two black, shiny flasks. James' had Prongs in gold lettering, and Sirius' read Padfoot. "These are great Hermione. But how did you know our nicknames?" James said with a large smile.

"Erm…I heard you call each other that once" she replied, hoping they bought the lie.

Apparently they did, as Peter just shrugged, and opened the pajamas Hermione had gotten him. He began to beam. She gave her present to Remus. He opened it and immediately began to read.

Remus also got several more books, one about advanced potion making from Peter and one called "Invent Your Own Spells, Grade Six: A Masters Course" from Sirius, both of which had in fact been on his Christmas list. From James, Remus received some candy; Firewhiskey Liquor Truffles.

James received several Zonko's products from Remus and Peter, and Sirius got various kinds of alcohol from everyone, commenting, "They know me entirely too well," after opening the last bottle with a cackle.

Peter received nothing but pajamas, which he didn't seem to mind. He seemed to realize that his current ones were ugly, and loved each new pair that he received.

Hermione received from James a beautiful set of quills, each one a different color with ink to match. From Peter, she got some chocolate. Sirius got her a book titled "Never Get Caught: Pranking for Dummies". Although she loved all of these, Remus' gift for her was the best of all.

She opened a small box with a silver charm bracelet. Her name was engraved on a small circular charm on the center of the bracelet. On one side of the circular charm was a silver wand with stars coming out of it. On the other was a book. She studied it looking carefully at each of the charms, muttering "wow" every couple of seconds. She looked up at Remus, who looked a little apprehensive, and said, "This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Thank you so much." Hermione ran over and gave him a huge hug, ignoring the wolf whistles of Sirius, James, and Peter. Remus, his usual shy self, was blushing furiously and mumbling, "It was nothing".

Several days later, the marauders and Hermione were around the fire, counting down the minutes till the New Year and the beginning of the Annual Prank-Off. They had agreed to start at exactly five after midnight, 'starting' defined as taking the first steps out of the portrait hole. Sirius had brought down his bottle of Merlin's Moon-Shine and 5 shot glasses, insisting that they drink at midnight. Good God, I'm turning into an alcoholic. These people are a bad influence on me! Hermione thought while accepting her shot glass with a smile.

The clock struck, the Marauders and Hermione drank, and each team of pranksters grabbed the materials they'd need to play the perfect prank. Both groups raced out of the portrait hole at exactly 12:05, and Hermione crawled into bed, barely able to wait to see what was going to happen the next day.

Hermione went down to breakfast with the Marauders a little bit early the next day, and waited. Tears began streaming down her face in laughter as she saw what one group had done to Severus.

While it was still obviously Severus, he looked definitely different. For one thing, large tufts of pink hair were growing at an alarming rate out of his nose and his greasy hair was red and gold, styled in an afro. For another, he had a set of rather large breasts. However, he seemed oblivious to his predicament, and merely glared at everyone staring and laughing at him, his afro shaking alarmingly.

"Which…of you….did…that?" she sputtered between fits of laughter.

"Remus and I," Peter replied with a smirk on his face.

Lucius came in after Severus, looking slightly worse for the wear, with no doubts why. His entire body sparkled red and green, and every three seconds he puked up a slug, which left a revolting-looking trail of slime in his Father Christmas-like beard, which was colored to match his sparkly green and red body. Hermione giggled, remembering Ron's experience with something similar.

"You haven't seen anything yet; wait till we get to the teachers" Sirius replied with a chortle.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall came in.

It was obvious this was a prank that Sirius had thought up and executed. McGonagall's robes flashed in pink letters "I love Sirius" and "Sirius is so sexy". Hermione slammed her head down into the table to stop McGonagall from seeing her laughing at something she was taking so seriously. She beckoned Sirius to her. He willingly complied, winking at her as he walked towards her, dragging James along with him. She grabbed them by the ears and dragged them out of the great hall, but not before Sirius yelled for the whole school to hear, "Minerva, I never knew you felt that way! Let's get some alone time, shall we love? I can't wait to see what your underwear says!"

"Aye, if you think that's something, lassy, just wait till yeh see what we did!" Peter said in a pirate like voice. It was rather obvious why, because at the moment Dumbledore sat down in his seat, it turned into a ship and began floating around the great hall. "That isn't really the prank, that comes next" Remus explained. The ship lifted Dumbledore up gracefully, and began circling the Great Hall, dumping rather large amounts of what appeared to be dynamite everywhere. "Duck and cover!" yelled Peter with a huge grin on his face. Hermione just had time to dive under the table when the dynamite exploded. But, it wasn't dynamite. Instead, they were vials filled with what Hermione knew to be some of the most dangerous creatures known to mankind in them...that's right. Cornish Pixies. When the vials, "exploded", they had actually released the deadly creatures upon the school.

The ship set a calm looking Dumbledore back down and transformed back into a chair with a small pop. The entire school suddenly went deadly silent, though the Pixies had already managed to suspend five people from the ceiling and knocked out seven others. But Dumbledore did not scream, yell, or even reprimand them. Instead, he merely pointed a finger at Sirius and Remus and said, "I'll be needing a word with you two."