Chapter 25: Old Wounds

Disclaimer: No ownership. I've got most of the DVDs, though!

Rating: I think I'm boring everyone to death repeating the same thing each time. See the first fourteen chapters if you haven't, yet :)

(Apologies for the long wait. I'm just going to blame writer's block and leave it at that, just like last time. sigh. These few chapters have been really hard to write… but thanks to kim for reviewing! Yes, she is indeed beginning to figure him out… or so she thinks. : ). But please, more reviews, people! I'd say one of the reasons I took so long with this one because of lack of motivation, which is somewhat cured miraculously by reviews! So yes, please! Doesn't take too long…

And also, drumroll the long awaited Riley bashing chapter. So enjoy! And Review:P )

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"I can't believe you were that late for church. Again," Willow raised her eyebrow at Riley.

He looked away. "I was busy. Where's Buffy?"

"She, Giles, and the bleached wonder are coming. They just need to clean something up," Xander said softly.

"Spike?" Riley's guard instantly shot up. "What's he doing with them?"

Before anyone could answer him, Tara moved quietly into the room. "They're coming now. I can see the lights of Giles' car."

A still seemed to come over Revello Drive as Riley checked his growing anger and waited impatiently. The car wheels snickered over the driveway impossibly slowly. Three teenagers prepared themselves to eavesdrop. One mother sat down on the couch, exhausted. The glass had long since been swept up, and the shredded curtains replaced with stronger material, shutting out the night. As the door opened, a chill wind seeped through, announcing the return of two weary humans and one thinking (no, not brooding, thinking) vampire. Riley pounced on them immediately.

"Okay, I'm sorry if I'm sounding too forwards about this, but what is happening? No-one's explained anything. And why's he helping you!"

"Sod off, Soldier Boy," Spike spat bitterly as he collapsed into the armchair. "Need a smoke, and I didn't see you rushing around all day after your mortal enemy."

Anyone could have seen Riley was just looking for a fight. The blonde didn't care. Riley was across the room in a flash, but before he even got there, Spike had vacated the armchair like lightning and laughed harshly as the soldier fell flat on his face.

"Try it, why don't you?" he jeered, anger lacing his voice. "You're no match for me, Whitebread, and if you hadn't…"

"Stop the threats, Spike," Buffy said sharply. "Let me deal with this."

Spike subsided as he realized that her irritation wasn't aimed directly at him. He leaned against a convenient piece of wall and pushed his frustration down. All day long it had been nagging him. Hell, ever since he first betrayed Adam. And now, it was eating away at him from the inside…

He concentrated on enjoying the Slayer put Captain Cardboard in his place, which she proceeded to do so.

"When was the last time you saw me, Riley?"

"T-this morning, when I left for church and you came along, and then we heard of the vampire attack and you wouldn't let me come in after you. Then the police arrived and I got tangled up trying to keep them out of there, so I didn't see you after that."

It wasn't the wrong answer. But it wasn't the right one either. The second Buffy had walked into the house, she'd known. One glance had been enough.

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"Oh… and B?"

They were standing at the train station, farewelling Faith as she made her way to L.A and Angel. They'd deal with the Council later. They'd deal with everything later. Now, it was time for cleaning up.

"Yeah, Faith?"

Faith bit her lip, and then looked straight into her eyes. "Riley has something to tell you. And… I'm sorry."

Buffy nodded. Faith jumped onto the train and sped off. Spike's all-seeing eyes zeroed in on her.

"I wonder what that meant, pet," he drawled. There was an underlying anger in his voice, but she didn't notice it. She was making her own conclusions.

"Let's just go home," she whispered, and walked back to Giles' car. The starlight trickled from above.

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"You slept with her, Riley."

The accusation flew from my lips like daggers, and I knew it. Riley actively flinched, before he collected his wits.

"What are you talking about?"

God, I wanted to cry. I wanted to bawl my eyes out. Wanted to run to Mum… sitting there on the couch looking shocked. Wanted Willow to hug me and say it was alright. Wanted Xander to crack some goofball joke that would smooth over the hurt. Wanted Giles to say something Gilesish, clean his glasses, and then pat her awkwardly. Wanted Dawn to annoy me so I could snap at her and then we could spend hours sitting on her bed, me combing her hair and the both of us spilling out our dreams. Wanted Spike to piss me off and then make everything better with a smirk and a reassurance disguised as a snark. Wanted…

I wanted.

Simple as that.

Just some security, some comfort in the face of all the madness that was overwhelmingly. My Slayer senses had had me constantly on edge for the last month with the knowledge that something was happening. Then Spike and Adam, and Spike. And the confusion. Then Riley, Dracula. The Spell… Cassandra and Daniel popping out of nowhere… Riley's heart… Faith, the bodyswap… too many in too few days. And now this.

"Willow, Xander, Tara, Anya?" I ignored him and looked at them. "If you don't mind, I'll debrief you guys later. We've got some research to do on some new vamps."

"Right on it, Buff," Xander nodded. His face was sober, almost drawn tonight. I wondered what had happened, but pushed it to the back of my mind. All I could tell was that perhaps I hadn't been the only one to have been shown a few home truths.

Willow and I shared a long glance, and Tara connected for the briefest of seconds, and then they were gone into the night. Xander following them.

"Good luck," Anya said frankly, before running after Xander.

The house was quiet. Mum was silent on the couch. Giles stood nervously, unsure.

"Giles, could you show them where to research?"

"Of course, Buffy," he said quietly.

Silence. Dammit. Silence was difficult to work around. It spread into your bones like cold snow, frosted it like ice. Mum sensed it. Sensed the space. Sensed the need to vent. I almost burst into tears. Mum could always read people, couldn't she? Why couldn't I? I almost chuckled bitterly. Miss. Blind Spot, that was me.

"Buffy, I think I'll go upstairs and have a rest. It's been a long day, and I have to get to the gallery early tomorrow. I'm… just glad you're okay."

"I am too, Mum."

I swore I heard a quick clattering as Mum climbed the stairs, and I rolled my eyes. Spike caught it, and smiled somewhat tiredly to affirm my suspicions.

"The Juniors," he nodded. "I'll… go up and check on them."

He started to move, but I stopped him. "No," I surprised myself. "You're staying here. Just to show Riley something."

Riley had stood still for this entire time after he'd untangled himself from the armchair. Now, he moved.

"Okay, Buffy, I think I have the right to know what's going on." he demanded angrily.

I laughed harshly. "You know what, Riley? I'm amazed you didn't figure it out! Tell me, was I acting at all strangely last night? Did I know your name? Was it strange I didn't go out and patrol?"

"But you did," Riley blinked. "You went on patrol at about 11 o'clock after we… and then you came back…"

Something slowly dawned on his face as he stared at my anger and Spike's cold brittleness. He sat down in the armchair.

"It… it wasn't you?" he choked out. "No, that's not possible…"

"Haven't you learnt by now that a lot of things are possible, Riley?" I rolled my eyes. "Hmm, let's see. The enjoining spell. Willow and Tara's experiments. Did you think that demons were really animals like the army told you? That's stupid, and you know that!"

"But…" his eyes swung around desperately. Had he known? Should he have been suspicious? The questions painted themselves over his features. The words came tumbling out of his mouth as sudden self-doubt clouded his eyes. "But…"

The words came out so pathetically weak he winced himself. "How was I supposed to know?"

The silence was deafening. He could have taken a knife and stabbed me, right in the heart there. Right in the soft tissue, that would leave a deeper scar amidst the already mangled mess Angel had made. But it cut less than I would have expected. God, if I actually loved Riley, I think…

Wait.

What was that thought?

God, if I actually loved Riley…

No.

Wait a second, that can't be right. I… I didn't just think that. No, I didn't. Not at all, no, no, no…

What was the use of trying? I knew it, Riley probably knew it, and as Spike's keen blue eyes suddenly zeroed in on mine, I knew that he definitely knew it.

Denial decided to drown me. What's it doing here? Thought it was in Africa. Hahahaha… Lame joke. Brain gone kablooey. That's all the defence I can muster. I pushed up out of it and locked it in a box. To be dealt with later. I had this huge rage boiling around my ears at the moment. Time to deal with that now.

"Riley, do you know who Faith is?" I asked calmly. Considering I was ready to tear his guts out and… oh God, I was sounding like Spike. I quickly stopped that thought. I wasn't that angry. Yet. Was I?

Riley's brow furrowed. "Faith… Faith. The other Slayer, right? The one in a coma? What about her?"

I felt sugar lace my voice. I couldn't quite believe it. I'd never acted like this before. But boy, was I mad.

"She came out of the coma sometime yesterday," I let my voice harden again, back to its normal tone. God, I sounded so sickeningly sweet before, even I was irritated. "Now, I guess I'll see if you can put it together."

He did. Slowly, with dawning horror in his eyes. "But… that's not possible!"

"Riley," I said, dangerously.

Anger flared up in his eyes, suddenly. "Boy, would I like to get my hands on her!"

Spike's famous raised eyebrow shot up, and he was about to make a comment when I stop him. Riley gulped and back-pedalled. "In a non-sexual way, of course."

"Why is it her fault, soldier boy?" Spike asked contemptuously, exhaling smoke. I realized he's lit a cigarette, even though he knows he's not allowed to. He smirked at me, and then looked back to Riley. "She was confused, looking for love, a bit of physical comfort and all that rot. All I'm saying is, how did you not know your own girlfriend?"

That's the question that was bubbling away inside of me so painfully I thought I might explode. How did he not know? How? If Spike knew… If Spike…

Spike.

"But she was so…" Riley protested, but we all knew he couldn't say anything. His head slumped. "I'm an idiot, I should have known."

"Yeah," I threw back. "You really should have."

He looked at me then, hearing in my voice that I wasn't quite finished yet, which I wasn't. His familiar eyes that were so full of pain and confusion and realization were haunting. I almost wilted for a few seconds, but didn't. I was still too angry at what my mind had just realized, and why I had unconsciously kept Spike handy for this little conversation.

"Why?" he stood up from where he had been slowly shrinking into the chair. "I… she played her part well, Buffy. And I didn't sleep with her. I slept with you."

The sudden conviction in his voice threw me, and the anger built again. "No you didn't, Riley," I snapped back. "You slept with her while I was in another body being carted off to the Council, and Giles and Spike had to come and save me."

"Although if I recall," Spike coughed, as if the smoke had actually affected his undead lungs, "You were doing a pretty good job of rescuing yourself."

A compliment from Spike? I almost fainted. Well, not really. But you know what I meant.

"Wait…" Riley was looking more and more confused, but that didn't make me feel sorry. "How did you know?"

I was about to open my mouth when Spike swaggered into the spotlight and pushed me gently out. "I'll tell you how I knew, Whitebread. I was in the Bronze when the bloody Slayer came on to…"

In an instant, Riley was up and at him. Spike, a devilish smile on his face, danced sideways again. "Me," he smoothly finished the sentence. "I thought she was drunk at first, but then…"

"You touched her," Riley glared at him full of hatred and revulsion. "God, you touched her! No wonder you're so angry, Buffy!" he turned to me, a half-pleading half-pitying look on his face. "But why take it out on me?"

"Haven't finished yet, Soldier Boy," Spike smirked. "Was all gettin' hot and bothered when…"

That deliberate taunt was enough to get Riley moving again, but this time I stopped him. "Quit with the unnecessary details, Spike," I said. "Just get on with it."

"When I realized that it wasn't actually the Slayer," Spike finished, staring accusingly into Riley's eyes. "So I started fighting with her, yelling at her as to where the real Slayer was, but then she mentioned Joyce, so I ran to check up on her."

"You believe that, Buffy?" Riley snorted incredulously. "You actually believe that?"

"Well, yeah," I replied, fixing him with my own stare. "Considering he alerted Giles and my Mum and helped to rescue me. So tell me, Riley. How is it my mortal enemy for the last couple of years recognized that it wasn't me, when my boyfriend didn't?"

Riley fish-mouthed.

I walked away, out into the night before I acted on my instinct to kill him in a horribly painful way.

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