A/N: Holy shit, did I write this? Oh, fuck, I did! HETFIC AHOY. Wow, that's the first time in a LOOONG time I've been able to say THAT.

I've taken liberties. Ages aren't balanced here. Times, dates, etc. – they're all fucked up. Also, though this is much like Eight Words, this is the more accurate depiction of Amarant's past, as I see it. Basically, this is how he and Lani really just ended up around each other. In the game, really, it seems like they just meet when the Queen calls for them, but I like to think they have more than that. If you know what I mean when I say more, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

Dedicated to: Everyone. Really, everyone. Especially those of you who read my fics at all, or those who are just thinking about getting around to Wishful Thinking or it's sequel.

PS: Any foreign languages you see in here – for example, schön, or liebe – is German. Most of the words have their meanings right beside them, and the others don't really need any explanation. Neumond is what I call the head god of Amarant's people before... this.

Lani is a gorgeous woman. Salamander talks about her with the rest of the men in the village – the young, single ones, at least – and it's the general consensus that she is sexy, even for someone so much smaller than Eidechsen women. And her skin looks as if she had been set in the sun for so long that she had baked. She's slim and looks Alexandrian, but Neumond does she have all of the finesse of a damned animal when it comes to anything remotely social! She's rude, sarcastic, and often vicious.

His friends joke that they'd make a perfect couple, if only she was Eidechsen.

"Salamander!" they say, "You're a match! Schön – a beautiful young couple!"

He smacks them around a bit and with a few beers they slip onto the news of the world. Not that there ever is much news in the Valley, but they take what they can get.

Eki hobbles into the bar and stands beside the group, and Salamander casts him a look – he's wearing his father's pants and looks like he's in a bit of pain.

"It can't hurt that much," he drawls, leaning back in his chair and grinning, waving a hand, "Let's see, come on."

"Yeah, drop your pants!" one of the bargirls calls and some of the older men laugh. Eki flushes and shakes his head.

"You just wait, Salamander, you're gonna wish you never been born!"

He laughs, loudly. "Ah, I'm no high and mighty son of an Elder. I don't get your fancy leg art, remember?"

"They might as well brand you," Admes crows, "After all, you don't get anything special."

Salamander slams his mug down, eyes narrowing briefly, "Don't forget who you're talkin' to, kid," he growls.

"Hey, hey!" the younger boy holds up his hands, "I didn't mean anything by it!"

"And 'sides," the older continues leaning back, "I get more, just later. I have to train for the pain it causes me."

"Well, what a great load of shit that is."

The group looks up and sees Lani, leaning against the doorframe. Her axe is on her back and she looks vaguely demonic – Salamander flexes his hand and glances at his claws.

"I mean, really." She slinks in, hips swaying in a completely foreign way, "Who can't take a little pain from a tattoo?"

"We don't go your silly magic way," the bargirl growls. All the Eidechsen women seem to have it in for Lani – not surprising, since they're so much bulkier and less... exotic looking than the girl. "We spend weeks on ours."

Lani snorts. "Maybe you should get me a drink and let me talk to the bigger folk, girly."

The girl looks absolutely stunned.

"Well?" she snaps, "Goddamn it, woman, I said I wanted a drink!"

"Hey," Salamander drawls, "Maybe you should be the one getting me a drink."

He knows as soon as the words leave his mouth he's asking for trouble, but his smirk stays on his face even as Lani stalks forward and his friends step back.

"...What did you say?"

"Woman, maybe you don't hear so well." He sits up, putting a hand on the table and leaning his weight against it, "You should be getting me a drink."

"Now, there are two ways this can end," Lani hisses, "And, well, neither of them end so good for you."

"What, are you and your pretty little self gonna hurt me?" He feigns shock, "That's no way for an Alexandrian girl to act!"

Lani smiles, sugary and saccharine sweet, lifts up a foot, and applies light, direct pressure to Salamander's crotch. He winces, and then glares at her.

"Oh, Red," she coos, "I'm from Treno. We've got a whole different set of rules." With one smooth movement she kicks her foot up and catches him in the jaw, knocking him backwards and sending him and the chair toppling to the ground. With a snarl, she slams a boot against his chest, kneeling down and tracing perfect nails along his cheek. "I've castrated men much larger than you. I think you better watch your tongue." She barks over her shoulder, "Where's my drink!"

"H-Here," the girl calls and Lani stands, turning and waltzing to the bar. She takes the mug up with both hands – she's so small! – and downs it all quickly.

"It's on his tab," she adds, and sashays out.

The boys crowd around Salamander, who sits up slowly, blinking dazedly.

"You okay!"

"Neumond! She nearly killed you!"

Salamander rubs his cheek and looks at the door. "I think I'm in love."

"Liebe, love you say!" Eki exclaims, as Admes and Salamander spar in the fields. He straddles the fence and laughs when Admes tries to get a shot in as Salamander turns – the redhead arches his back, dodging the claws, and spins around, locking his own knives with the other's. "How can you love her, when she threatens to castrate you?"

"Who knows," Salamander responds, kicking out a leg and flipping Admes, bringing him to the ground and pointing their locked claws at his throat. "You need to start watching your follow through."

Cold metal rests against the back of the redhead's neck, and he cranes his head around, raising an eyebrow. Lani stares down at him, smirking, flat of her axe against his back.

"You need to learn to watch your back. Never know who might come to reap two corpses from a fight."

"Pretty lady, you best step back," he says, grinning, "Did you come to tell me my dinner's ready?"

"You know, for a man with an axe to his spinal chord, you're a pretty mouthy guy. What do you say, kid?" she asks Admes, who stares up at her in confusion, "Don't you think he's pretty mouthy?"

He smirks, "Really? He never shuts up."

"Remember who's got two pairs of claws to your neck, kid," Salamander growls, though not angrily. "Hey, Eki, where the hell are you? You gonna let them gang up on me like this?"

"Oh, bruder, you know you brought this on yourself."

"Now, I think that, if you want me to spare your life, you're going to have to treat me to dinner." Lani puts her foot against his back, "And I mean a real dinner, not some hodunk little bullshit this place likes to pull out in the bar. A real man hunts for his food."

"Salamander isn't a real man!" Eki crows, "He doesn't have his tatt's yet. Don't you know anything?"

"You watch your tongue," Salamander snaps, and stands suddenly, causing Lani to stumble back.

"Oh, is that so?" Lani snickers, "Now I remember, he was talking about feeling pain. Don't you know that real men don't feel pain, Red?"

"Would you stop calling me that? I'm not just a hair color."

"Yeah, well, it's better than calling you Salamander. Seriously," she leans against her axe, "Who names their kid after a lizard?"

"It's Coral custom," Admes stands, "All of them are named after reptiles. Strongest fighters in the entire village."

"Stop, you're starting to embarrass me," Salamander sighs.

"So, what's your dad's name, then? Cobra or something?"

The redhead crosses his arms, claws glinting. "Gila."

The girl lets out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "God, that's ridiculous."

"What's ridiculous is you waltzing around with a gigantic axe and clothes that only a nutte would wear, acting like you belong here."

Eki begins to laugh and then clamps his mouth shut; Admes looks at Salamander as if he's gone crazy.

"Kid, if you think this is the clothing of a prostitute, you've never seen a real one before." She swings her hips exaggeratedly, "Besides, I think you're just pissed because your Eidechsen girls look like men themselves. That bargirl, wow."

"That's my sister!" Eki exclaims.

"Then you should've defended her damned honor!" Lani snaps in dull annoyance, before continuing, "I'll bet you don't even know the difference between sexes. I wouldn't either," she amends, "Not with your race."

"You little-"

"Now, where's my dinner?" she asks, arms crossed.

"Hunt it yourself. After all, that's what all men do, isn't it?" Salamander smirks, "Or do you need me to do it for you?"

Lani's look changes from amused to aggravated, and she grabs her axe, flipping it over and slamming it against her back in annoyance. "I don't need a kid like you doing anything for me," she snarls, and stalks off over the fields, towards the mountain path.

Salamander laughs loudly, arms crossed.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" Eki asks, "You're just getting her even more angry!"

"Pah. Who cares? After all," he grins, "She's just a girl. Pretty, yeah, strong-willed, sure, but she's still a girl. I'm not scared of her."

Admes frowns, and looks at the older Eidechsen boy. "I think you should be."

He expected pain. There had been days when his father would train him for this moment just by slicing his back slowly with his own claws.

That had been nothing.

Tap, tap, tap, slower and slower and then speeding up – Neumond, he bites his tongue to keep from shouting.

Lani stands beside the tattoo artist and watches him tap the black dye into Salamander's shoulder, slowly tracing out the design intended for him from the day he was born. She hadn't known that when they said no magic, they meant no magic – the tools are fine and designed specifically for their task, but when she had seen them, she realized just what they were.

"You're going to use a stick and a big mallet?" she had asked, surprised.

"What, not used to a little pain for your art?" the Eidechsen asked.

He grits his teeth and looks over at the artist – his name is Ond. He's big and burly, and has several hundred tattoos on himself. He once boasted that all the inkjobs done to him allowed him to feel no pain, and Salamander thinks that's probably true.

It will take them a week to finish this tattoo and another to do the other arm. Lani looks contemplatively at the design.

"What's it going to be?" she asks, when Ond is adding more ink.

"A salamander," the artist grunts, annoyed. "Give me more room."

She steps back, and he continues.

Salamander wonders if the tattoo he will get later, after he's completed all his training, will be more painful than this. He hopes not, but since it's going to cover his entire back, he has a feeling that it will.

They should've just branded him.

The skin will take about three weeks to heal. Meanwhile, Salamander walks around with bloody red shoulders, training just as hard with his father and his friends, and generally being uppity because for the time it takes the tattoo to heal, he can be just as rude as you want to anyone.

After all, he's a man now.

Lani has been spending an inordinate amount of time with Ond, who is married and has a young six year old son. This raises a few questions from everyone in the village until one day Ond comes out and announces that he'll be giving Lani a tattoo.

The reaction is...

Unfavorable.

Ond is called into council and there's a great uproar, since it's a tradition that only the Eidechsen hold dear, and no stupid, tan-skinned outsider can understand how much it means.

"This is crazy!" Eki tells the group when they're at the bar, "My father's in a huge fit because that girl wants to get a tattoo!"

Salamander shrugs and then winces, remembering that it hurts to move his arms, and takes a deep gulp of his ale. "If she wants a tattoo, let her have one."

"But it's Eidechsen, not Alexandrian!"

"She's going to get it whether it's allowed by the Elders or not," the redhead tells the boy, who looks outraged. "Besides, she's not Alexandrian."

"You can't have a good opinion!" Eki responds, angrily, "You like her too much!"

"Watch your mouth, kid."

"You have no respect for customs," the boy mumbles, arms crossed. He yelps when Salamander grabs his shirt and drags him close.

"Look," he growls, "Would I have gone through the pain of getting these fucking tattoos if I didn't give a shit about the customs? I know more of custom and protocol than you do. If I say the girl should have a tattoo, she should have a fucking tattoo."

"Salamander," Admes soothes, grabbing his friend's arm, "Calm down. He doesn't mean anything by it."

"Of course he doesn't," the redhead hisses, letting go nonetheless. "I don't see what the big deal is. She understands the meaning behind the tattoos."

"How do you know?" Eki asks, "I mean, it's not like you two talk other than for occasional battles of the wit – which, might I add, aren't very impressive."

"If she didn't, Ond wouldn't have even suggested the idea. He didn't just offer it out of the blue."

"But-"

"Salamander Coral is correct."

The group of boys turn to look at Eki's father – a tall, relatively thin Eidechsen with blonde hair like his son, only flecked with gray – who walks in through the door. His beard is long and curls slightly; he looks vaguely foreboding.

"Father?" Eki asks.

"Ond spent a great long while teaching the girl about the art, and she expressed enough interest. We have given him permission to do what he deems proper."

"But!"

A look from his father silences Eki, who looks a bit put off.

"And, Coral. I'd like to speak with you."

Salamander stands, feeling something in his stomach churn. It's bad luck to get pulled aside by any Elder, especially Eki's father. He follows the man out and they walk along the dirt street – the Elder crosses his arms behind his back and looks at the sky.

"Strange, isn't it?" he asks.

"What's strange?" A beat, and then, "Sir."

"A little girl like that raising such a fuss just because of some pigments and needles. I always thought our clan was losing interest in the old ways..." He smiles, and looks a little violent. "It's good to know they're not."

"...I don't understand," Salamander stops, looking at the Elder in confusion, "Why are you talking to me about this?"

"You understand the meaning behind the process of getting tattoos, and yet you also understand the need for that girl to share in our culture. It's interesting to see someone brought up so seeped in ancestry this, history that to have such free opinions." The Elder smirks at Salamander, "Yes, I listen into your conversations once in a while. You're just like your father."

"Please don't start that," he mutters, feeling annoyed. He hates it when people compare him to anyone – even his father.

"But your father isn't who I'm here about." They're out by the fields now, and Salamander can see the workers finishing up their day and getting ready to head back in for dinner. "I'm here about you."

"I thought as much. What did I do, this time?"

"...I've heard, only in passing, that you've..." He waves a hand, "Expressed an interest in the Alexandrian girl."

Salamander groans inwardly and feels a lecture coming on.

"I just want to remind you that while having an open interpretation to culture is not a bad thing... it isn't something to..."

"You're not good at these talks," Salamander sighs, and then adds, "Sir."

"Yet, you understand."

"I do. And..." The redhead lets out a breath he only now realizes he's been holding, "Well, I understand."

"That's good." The Elder nods, "Very good." He starts heading back towards the village.

"...And I'd like to tell you to go to hell."

He stops, and the young man bites his tongue when he turns to look at him in the setting sunlight.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the culture, and all," he quickly says, "It's just I don't see the point. Lani's... well, hell. Lani's much more attractive than the women around here."

"Attractiveness should not be the only thing that draws you to someone," the Elder says, stiffly.

"Pah. If the only thing she had for her was her pretty face, I wouldn't give a shit. But..." He shrugs, "She's more like an Eidechsen than the Eidechsen women themselves. She fights and, from the way she talks, she wins. I don't want a woman who isn't going to fight me."

"...I see."

"No, you don't. She comes into the bar, demands a drink, then kicks me off my chair and threatens to castrate me. What do you think the bargirls do? They cower like silly fools." He crosses his arms, "I don't like women who are women."

"Your mother was like that."

"My mother was willing to fight when her territory was being tromped on. I have a feeling Lani would be more than willing to fight if, or if not, anyone was infringing on what she thought was hers."

"There are plenty of women like that in this village. If you didn't spend all of your time in the bar-"

"Do you give your son the same talk? He's the one who I drink with."

The Elder sends him a look that threatens bodily harm and then glides away towards the bar. Salamander snorts. "What a fool." He sighs, and leans against the fence, looking out over the field. Most of the warriors left through these fields five years ago to go take care of some worryingly close troops from a relatively small, vicious kingdom that had seen better days. There were occasional messages from the militia talking about scuffles with the approaching troops; they had always won, so it doesn't worry anyone.

Salamander worries.

"What are you looking at?"

He looks over his shoulder at the approaching woman, shadows rising around her in the fading light.

"The future," he mutters. "Hear you're getting your tattoo."

She makes an annoyed noise, "No. Dirty rat bastards say I can get a tattoo if I abide by the women rules behind it."

He smirks. "Good luck with that."

Tattoo protocol insists that women can only have tattoos if they have a job level in the tribe or are with someone who has such a thing.

"It's bullshit. I'm not like your damned women, I'm like... I don't know, you or something." He raises an eyebrow, and she crosses her arms, leaning against the fence next to him. "Don't get me wrong, you're an asshole, but at least you have balls. God, the women around here are idiots."

"All the good women are out fighting." She looks at him curiously, so he adds, "There's a rowdy group of people wanting our area. We're just letting them know it's not for sale."

"So all the women here are the girly ones, then?"

"Well, yeah. Same with most of the men. Either too old or too young."

"What about you? Are you here for any particular reason?" She smirks and shakes her head, "Or are you just not man enough?"

"I'm planning on heading out next time the message comes in that they want more people." He rolls his eyes, "I'm not training for nothing."

"What should I do?" she asks, suddenly. He looks at her. "I'm going to get the damned tattoo. I refuse to allow myself to be subjugated to stupid rules like that! Married, pah."

"We don't have marriages," Salamander tells her. "We rarely even have bonding ceremonies anymore."

"Then what's all this bullshit about me having to marry someone who's high and mighty! Those are the words they used."

The redhead shakes his head. "The assholes are abiding by old rules people rarely even follow anymore. They don't really want you to have a tattoo. It's the old way."

"They said if I have a job here..."

"Fuck, you won't get hired by anyone. They don't like you, woman – you aren't Eidechsen. Most of these fools think that you're fine and nice to look at, but you don't have any power here." He looks back out at the field. "Why don't you just go and get one in Treno, or wherever you can?"

"I don't want it for the aesthetics, Red. I want it so I can show that I can handle the pain."

Salamander steps back and turns, looking at Lani contemplatively. She sizes him up, arms crossed and head tilted up; perfectly arrogantly perfect. Like – he has no idea. Like a living, breathing statue of some beautiful warrior goddess. He feels suddenly very silly for thinking such a stupid, ridiculously poetic thought. "You know, you're a crazy woman."

"I get that a lot."

He looks out to the village and sees a few shapes looking at them from a distance – no doubt it's Eki and Admes.

"You're the only one here with red hair. Why's that?"

He turns back to her, shaking his head. "My parents both had red hair. It's just an unusual trait, nothing special."

"Do you want to leave here?"

The question is surprisingly serious and Salamander studies Lani again. She looks at him curiously, as if trying to discern his answer beforehand.

"It's my home."

"I didn't ask you that."

"...I wouldn't leave it because of the others, if that's what you're getting at. I don't find this place very... exciting. I can beat everyone here and tie with my own father. There's only so much I can learn from this place, and I think I've got it all."

"Is that why you're planning on going out next time they call for soldiers?"

"Pretty much. Field experience will give me what I want."

"And what is it that you want, Salamander?"

She calls him by his name. Not Red, not boy, and not even Coral, as most people do when asking deep questions of him.

"...A challenge. I want an opponent I have to sweat to beat."

The woman smiles largely, and then laughs. "I should've known. What a chump."

"Woman, shouldn't you be home makin' me something to eat?"

"What would you want me to make? I don't cook."

He smirks. "I don't need my food cooked. I eat meat raw, if I have to."

"Eugh." She makes a face, "God, I forget this place is barbaric."

He chuckles and then looks up to the sky.

Then, he has an idea.

In Soviet Russia, Amarant Pimps You.