A/N: And now, my otaku audience, I give to you the riveting prelude to the conclusion of Rin, For Short. Although I was still a bit tired from Otakon when I started writing it. Allow yourselves to bask in all the unholy glory that has given you product placement, sexual innuendo and fandom. Enjoy.

Chapter 4: Not Just Your Average One-Night Stand

"Let me get this straight, he's taken a hostage or he has been taken hostage?" The Taisho asked as he popped his 6th Advil into his mouth and took another sip of vodka.

"Dear," the Lady Izayoi said with concern, "though you are a most powerful being I would still advise not mixing alcohol with medicine."

The Taisho patted his wife's hand and lovingly ignored her. All the painkillers in the world couldn't abate his pissiness at the moment. He waited for the guard to stop trembling before he continued the interrogation.

"A-Actually, Sire, we...we're not entirely sure. At the time the Royal Guards were trying to save the Royal Advisor Jaken from being martyred in the name of fandom. We believe that the Prince's disappearance occurred sometime during that onslaught. It is our opinion that it is the Prince himself that has taken a hostage for we know not of a creature that is strong enough to contain his Highness. However, his motive in kidnapping a maiden is...well...we're still working on it, Sire- my most abject apologies!"

Naturally, the guard omitted the part about the on-going bet concerning Sesshoumaru's sexual orientation. Consequently, the part about Prince Inuyasha actually initiating that bet was also omitted.

The Taisho propped his head on his hand and stared at the guard with a look that said 'you're fucking kidding me, right?' The Lady Izayoi slouched on her throne and popped an Advil. It had been a tiresome evening and disowning the kids was looking really good right about now. It was certainly more probable that Sesshoumaru himself had been the one to take a hostage however Lady Izayoi had learned long ago not to underestimate the unholy grandeur that surrounded fangirls. After all, her husband was a fine piece of work too, and goodness knows how many fangirls had been martyred in his name.

"Guard."

Y-yes milady?"

"Bring me that glass sandal; I'd like to examine it."

"Certainly milady."

"And while you're at it, get me a whisky. On the rocks."

Meanwhile...somewhere in a forest…

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOO came a rather disgruntled and discontent howl from the background, effectively scaring the shizzit out of our dear Rin. (As fate would have it, it was only Inuyasha's cries of dire agony, begging his kin to aid him in his struggle against evil incarnate...and reincarnate... However, our main characters don't need to know that).

"HOLY MOLY!" Rin yelled as she attached herself to whatever part of the Prince was available. Ooooh, she couldn't help but think, soft… And for those of us who have already wandered into the far-off land of Perversia, no, she did not grab his ass.

I'll get to that later.

Meanwhile, the Prince was not liking this touchy-feely woman being all...up in his business. As it was, he was lost and getting very annoyed. True to his manly nature it is doubtful whether or not he would have pulled over for directions were he given the option but this seemingly endless forest was really starting to grate on his precious nerves. Nevermind the fact that the girl was getting very jumpy and jittery. Why the Hell is she in such a rush to go home? Sesshoumaru thought, The Young and the Restless ended hours ago…hmm…maybe she taped it… Then another thought struck him. Was it possible? Could it be?

"Is this Sesshoumaru really such bad company?" The slight change of tone in his voice gave Sesshoumaru's uncertainty away. Feh. That was not intended to be spoken out loud.

"Eh? What's that?" Rin had been spacing out, trying to enjoy her last precious seconds of looking good for, any moment now, she knew she was going to turn back into that beige and orange spiffy young girl she had been for a decade. Damn…and I was kinda starting to like the guy, too…In a 'you're a beautiful brick wall' kinda way, of course. "No no, not at all," she sighed, "You're actually quite...calming to be around."

Calming? Sesshoumaru thought. Now there was one he hadn't heard before. Of all the things that he had been called to date, calming was certainly not one of them.

"It's just...well, how do I begin? You see... it all started when I was around nine and my dad brought Naraku home. I couldn't tell whether I was getting a new stepmother or stepfather…"

That did it. Sesshoumaru's eyebrow began to twitch. He needed to find a way out of the damn foliage but none of the paths looked promising. For the first time in his life, the great Prince Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands began to consider begging for mercy as an option.

Just as Rin was about to continue with her story, she noticed the pained, no, tortured look in her guide's eyes and the fact that they had been standing doing nothing for the past five minutes.

"Um...Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He was almost afraid to ask. "What is it?"

"Are we lost? I mean, we're just kinda...standing here...You're lost, aren't you?"

"Silence," Sesshoumaru ordered. The brat had some nerve. "This Sesshoumaru does not get lost. I am...trying to determine the route that will best suit our needs."

"Uh-huh." Rin said blandly. "Can't you just...I dunno, use your superpowers...fly around and find a way out or something?"

Sesshoumaru stared, almost stunned. "Fly around? Does this Sesshoumaru look like a bird to you?"

I'm not…really sure, Rin thought. Then she suddenly had one of those 'I can't believe it's not butter!' moments, put two fingers in her mouth and gave a ridiculously loud whistle.

"What are you doing?"

"Hehehe...I'm calling for backup. I completely forgot that I have adequate transportation!" She said merrily. Sesshoumaru wanted to smack something. Where the Hell was Jaken? Oh yeah.. He was playing sacrificial lamb tonight.

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru felt a strong grip on his wrist as Rin nearly doubled over in nausea. His reflexes acted before he had time to think as he steadied the girl as best he could.

"What is wrong?" Why this Sesshoumaru? Why this Sesshoumaru!...

"Uuuuuuuhhhhh…..Sesshoumaru-samaaaaaa…..I feel…like shiiiiiiit….." No sense in hiding the obvious was Rin's line of thinking as the color of her kimono slowly lightened to patches of beige and orange, her hair loosened and fell around all over her head, and make-up became a thing of the past. In a panic Rin took off her remaining sandal. Perhaps she could salvage the item. Just as the dizziness began to subside Sesshoumaru felt a presence approaching and prepared to make mince meat out of it. Not that he felt the need to impress the girl, who seemed ready to set her dinner free in the nearest bush at any moment, but in a strange way he felt like cheering her up. Disgusting, he cursed at himself, Sesshoumaru, you disgust this Sesshoumaru.

"Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…" Rin was going through her mantra, determined to keep everything in her stomach. "Think of happy things...like Naraku and Kagura burning in eternal Hellfire...aaah yes...Kanna can just...linger...breathe in, breathe out..." She barely had time to notice that the Prince had gotten into attack position and was about to pulverize her D.D. for the evening. As Ah-Un descended from the sky, and Sesshoumaru went into bad-ass mode, Rin snapped back into reality and hastily scrambled to her feet, flinging herself(!)...at his back...hanging on for dear life, the Prince fell with his back on top of the girl, as Rin's chokehold proved more than worth his while. Of course...Rin may have copped a feel or two (or five) at any given moment but that's just between her and Sesshoumaru's hiney.

Can you feel the drama, folks?

"Aaaaah you're squashing me, get off!"

"Yurchhkkkinggggme!"

"Ok I'm letting go but DON"T KILL AH-UN! That's my ride, dammit."

Ah-Un watched patiently as the attractive white-haired and rather masculine-looking woman dusted herself off, all the while giving Rin the death glare. Gosh that woman looked familiar. Oh...wait a minute...damn. Ah looked at Un. Un looked at Ah.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Rin is a lesbian?

No. Iimbecile. I mean about keeping up this domesticated pet business. We should just leave their asses here.

What an awful thing to say! I'd never do that to Rin. I like her. Besides, we haven't had a gig like this for years... Always sitting around just eating, being lazy... Do you realize just how much weight we've put on! And you know how bored I get-

Alright, alright, enough already. Stop whining, you're giving me a headache. So we're in this thing 'til the end?

Yup! So...that 'woman' over there is Sesshoumaru, isn't it?

No doubt about it.

Sooo…how long do you think it'll be 'til he recognizes us?

The heads blinked at each other for a few seconds.

Don't make me death-ray your ass...How many two-headed dragon-youkai do you think they keep in the stables!

And right on cue...

"What the Hell are you doing with my youkai?" Sesshoumaru asked Rin, whom he was still holding onto, just in case she got dizzy again of course. "And while you are at it, do explain just why you are dressed in those dirty garments, who you really are and any other tidbit you believe may make you worthy of this Sesshoumaru's time."

"Wait wait wait. Back up a minute. Your youkai? You mean Ah-Un? You must have the wrong youkai Sesshoumaru-sama because he's/they're my transportation for the evening, given to me personally by my Fairy-God Imp."

Sesshoumaru was getting...peeved... "Your what?" He closed his eyes and asked patiently. When he got no answer he opened one eye and saw Rin next to Ah-Un as the youkai lifted up one of his front legs. Sure enough, underneath was all that remained of a Jaken-pancake.

"Oh my." Rin said as she tried to peel him out from under Ah-Un. Sesshoumaru looked irritably from Ah to Un, from Un to Ah. The heads blinked back nervously but the message that the looks sent was loud and clear: It was all Jaken's idea!

Approximately 45 minutes later...

"I TOLD YOU WE HAD TO TAKE A RIGHT!"

"SILENCE! As long as this Sesshoumaru steers, this Sesshoumaru is IN CONTROL!"

Rin was sitting behind Sesshoumaru, holding onto him and trying desperately not to look down. She had realized, upon 45 seconds into their travel, that she really didn't like flying and if they didn't land soon...well...let's just say that it would be murder on the upholstery. The waves of nausea had hit her again as she had been kindly, and loudly, explaining to the Prince just why she looked the way that she did and no, she wasn't one of his hormonal followers and no, she really had no intention of stalking him after tonight and yes, she would take his advice on shampooing and conditioning regularly.

As Rin's stomach flips settled down a bit, she managed to open her eyes slowly and finally, finally she saw her neighborhood in the distance. Nope, there really was no mistaking those dojo/houses. Getting closer, she realized that the lights were out and since nobody in that place ever slept that early, Rin concluded that they were probably still busy trying to bail Naraku out. With any luck she'd get 10 to 20, kukukuku...

"Over there," she pointed so that the Prince could see. "That's my place." Rin suddenly felt a little sad. Despite everything, it had been the most exciting evening she'd had since Naraku had taken them on a 'family barbeque' when she was 11...Little had the girls known back then that the only thing Naraku was planning on barbequing was them. Thank goodness for barbed wire and safety matches...

Sesshoumaru said nothing as he motioned for Ah-Un to descend. For all his genius he couldn't understanding just why he was feeling bothered by the fact that he and this human wench were about to part. It wasn't so much that he felt pity for the girl, because after hearing her story and the way she reacted to things he felt a lot sorrier for the other members of that sketchy household. She was just so...damn pleasant to be around. Sesshoumaru found himself getting all flustered and struck by feelings of complete and utter manliness, urging him to...protect this girl...and other such fluffy nonsense.

Feh, he scoffed in his mind, I'm getting soft. Next I'll taken on a nickname like Fluffy or something equally as ridiculous…

Hmmm...

"We'd better stop here," Rin said as she hopped off Ah-Un and looked around shyly. She placed the Jaken-pancake somewhere secure on Ah-Un and patted the beast goodbye. "I'd invite you inside but I'm sure that the barrier isn't going to let anyone through anyway. I'm just going to sit outside till it wears off...shouldn't be long now."

Sesshoumaru looked at the girl and almost had a psychotic episode. He was torn between staying with her in the name of chivalry and leaving her to her fate so that he didn't risk getting anymore attached to her. Decisions, decisions, curse these bloody decisions.

On the verge of a sigh, Sesshoumaru decided that there was only one thing to do... It wasn't the best thing but goddammit he was running low on ideas and he had to do something so as not to look like a complete ass.

"Here," he said as he took the Tenseiga off his sexy person and placed it in Rin's hands. She blinked innocently several times, wondering who the Hell in their right mind would actually hand over to her a large and pointy weapon of potential mass destruction. Now she knew why she was falling for this guy.

"What's this for?"

"This is Tenseiga. It is a sword that...protects. It should keep you out of trouble. Make sure it is safe until I come back to reclaim it."

Woohoo! Rin thought, So this is his subtle way of saying we'll be seeing each other again. Go Rin, go Rin, woot woot... "I see. Thank you very much, Sesshoumaru-sama."

Sesshoumaru nodded slightly, turned around, got on Ah-Un and prepared for liftoff.

"Rin."

"Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Don't get any ideas; that sword is merely for protection. It can't kill."

"Damn," Rin spat as Sesshoumaru flew off, "he knows me so well, already." She found a comfortable spot right at the edge of the barrier and settled down, waiting, waiting...and waiting. Gosh this was boring beyond sanity. Her thoughts led here and there, to the ball and the fact that she'd never actually made it inside, to her unbelievable luck at having a Fairy God-Imp and finally to Sesshoumaru... His eyes, his hair, his...

"...zero sense of direction..." Sigh... "what a man..."

3 hours and about 20 wrong turns later Sesshoumaru made it back to the front gate, his eyes red and on the verge of homicide. Curse this bird's eye-view, curse her house for being in the middle of bloody nowhere and curse Mapquest for making everything ass-backwards!

As he sent Ah-Un off to the stables he noticed that Inuyasha was waiting for him at the gate with a band of rather grizzly looking guards. His brother looked battered and bruised as if he had just come from battle but that stupid smirk on his face was giving Sesshoumaru another migraine. One word from the little punk and Sesshoumaru's fist was going to put a permanent end to his face.

"You are in my way, little brother."

"Oooh, someone's in a bad mood. Where've you been all night? What'd ya do, get lost again?"

Sesshoumaru's transformation was about to begin when Inuyasha motioned for him to calm down just long enough so that he could deliver his message.

"Look, dad wants me to tell ya that he doesn't know where you were and he doesn't care- he hopes that you haven't taken a hostage and if you did, then he says he's gonna disown your ass faster than you can say- "

"Get on with it Inuyasha."

"Fine, bottom line is the old man says he doesn't want you back until you've got a girl with you- and you'd better be engaged to get married- until then, he says you're on your own. He was really pissed off when they told him how much he had to pay ta get all the shit repaired- damage caused by your fangirls, by the way. Dad said that after an episode like that you're a hazard to the well-being of the palace, blah blah blah and you need security- the kind only a woman can give. Like mom. Ya get my drift? "

Sesshoumaru tried to fight back the urge to throttle his little brother, but the little prick was making it very difficult. "Is that all?"

"Lemme see...oh yeah, he also orders you ta take Jaken with you. Somethin' about him bein' on the fire department's hit list. And this." Inuyasha handed Sesshoumaru the glass sandal in all it's bling-bling glory. "Pops says that if tha girl's good enough for you ta take hostage, she's good enough for you ta marry."

"This Sesshoumaru will not be forced into marriage."

"Yeah...the old man said ya might say somethin' like that so he also told me to tell ya that you've got 48 hours. If you don't bring back a fiancé in 48 hours he says he's gonna pass the kingdom on to me instead'a you. Then he's gonna sacrifice ya to your adoring public."

That got Sesshoumaru's attention. He couldn't believe this. Had he actually been kicked out? Was he actually being blackmailed and threatened into marriage? Were these people on illegal addictive stimulants or something? Nevermind. He was tired, grouchy, had no place to spend the night, 48 hours to find a bride, a glass sandal to return and no clue as to how to get back to Rin's place.

Rin. ...Yes, Rin...hmmm... interesting...she is beautiful, psychotic, intelligent, lethal with or without sharp objects...what are the downsides? She is human...just barely... but this Sesshoumaru can always fix that...

Sesshoumaru smirked, which was just about enough to make every guard within a 10 foot radius cringe and Inuyasha twitch. This was not the reaction that he had been hoping for. In fact, one of his many bets depended on Sesshoumaru going berserk and mutilating things.

"Hey asshole, you do realize that pops wants ya to marry a girl, right?"

Sesshoumaru walked off to the stables to retrieve Ah-Un. He had to admit, re-arranging Inuyasha's face was just something he never tired of. The smirk never leaving his face, he called out to Inuyasha who lay disfigured in a large crater.

"Tell Father that this Sesshoumaru will not be toyed with. I shall return in 48 hours with my fiancé. And be sure to mention that I pawned off that useless Tenseiga. My regards."

As Ah-Un breezed through the evening sky and Sesshoumaru tried not to shred the impossible fold-it-this-way-and-that map to tiny pieces, a small roar in the background, due West, made the Prince's life just a little bit brighter.

"HE DID WHAAAAAT!"

A/N: The next chapter shall be the last. Thank you for sticking with the story!