A/N: OOOH I love my mind sometimes. You'll be amazed what the next chapter holds and why this chapter is so short. If you want a hint, think about what a short chapter in Deepest Blue meant.
Dedicated to: THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.
Salamander wakes up to drums.
Within seconds he is up and moving across the half-dark hut, hearing his father stirring as well. "What is it?" he grumbles.
"Someone's drumming," Salamander mutters, and his father is soon pacing right beside him to the door.
They head out and see several Elders standing in the fields, facing the mountain pass – Eki's father is among them. Ten of the younger boys – all under fifteen – are drumming steadily and Salamander realizes it just as Gila mutters, "Training?"
"What the hell is going on!" Lani comes up to them, looking annoyed at being woken up at what looks to be five in the morning – she has slight bags under her eyes but still –
"Training," Gila tells her, "The Elders are rousing the village for training."
Eidechsen are leaving their huts. Some are confused, sleepy, annoyed – those are the ones that have no idea what those drums mean. The ones who do are nearly marching, steady and unafraid even though most of them are over thirty and some are barely even nineteen. Salamander wishes they'd look a little less grim. Wishes he could look a little more grim.
"So, they listened, did they?" The three look with mild apprehension at Ond, who walks up to them with his son holding onto his hand.
"Apparently," Gila responds, "What are you doing with Etiess?"
"Putting him back to bed. He wanted to know what was going on." Ond looks at his son, "Go back to sleep, alright? And you can sleep in today, no lessons."
"Really?"
Something about Ond looks incredibly strange to Salamander and he feels something hurt, deep down, for the six year old kid.
The old Eidechsen nods, smiling faintly, sadly. "Yes, no lessons."
The little boy grins wide and then heads back to the hut. Ond sighs deeply and looks at Gila. "Let's go see what they want of us."
"You wait for Admes and his father, would you?" Gila asks Salamander, who nods, and the two older Eidechsen head towards the fields.
"I don't get it – what's going on?" Lani asks.
"I told my father what was going on." The two turn again to see Eki and Admes walking up to them. Eki continues, "He went down a few hours ago and came back to get the drummers up. I guess he saw it."
Admes looks out to the field, "Should we go out there? My father's already out."
"You can kiss my ass," Lani drawls, "I'm going back to bed." She moves off back to her home and the three watch her go with raised eyebrows.
"...Maybe it's not so bad you chose her," Eki says, tilting his head slightly.
"Stop ogling Salamander's woman!" Admes exclaims, grinning.
"Yeah," Salamander adds without thinking, and then blinks.
"What was I saying?" Admes asks him innocently, before pointing to the fields, "We started this, we might as well train for what's coming."
Salamander nods, sighing, and follows the two out to the fields.
He didn't train with the others. From the very start, an Elder had pulled him and Admes aside, and they had been given two groups of young kids – just over sixteen – and said that they were going to train them.
The responsibility knocked all fun out of the two, and Salamander realizes just how under prepared their entire village is as the kids fumble with their weapons and accidentally hurt each other – and not in combat, just by standing side by side and doing basic exercises.
By noon, Salamander's ready for a break.
"Hey, Red."
He waves a hand at Lani and quickly disposes of the young Eidechsen, growling, "Work on your damned foresight." The kid scampers off quickly and he turns, crossing his arms. "What do you want?"
"To help," she drawls, and firmly plants her axe into the ground. He looks at her for a minute and then looks at the kids who are suddenly all looking at him – hell, even Admes is looking. "Well?"
"...Do you see any women training out here?" he mutters to her, leaning in. Lani rolls her eyes and then crosses her arms, sauntering up to one kid who looks particularly skeptical.
"Hey, kid." She grins, "Do you think I'm scary?"
The kid looks at one of his friends, who gives him a look that means, "Well, go on," and then sighs.
"...Not really."
"Alright. Be a dear and throw a punch at me."
"...Punch you?" The boy suddenly looks unsure and Salamander smirks, crossing his arms.
"You heard her," he tells the kid, who nods slowly and then swings.
Salamander doesn't really see what happens but suddenly Lani had her boot against the back of the kid's neck and his arm pulled viciously behind him. Admes laughs as the boys look at each other in confusion and dawning fear.
"Do you think I'm scary?" she asks him again, and gets a quick nod. She stands, crosses her arms, and looks at the group of teenagers, smirking. "Now, then, Red, what were you saying about there being no women training?"
"I wasn't saying anything," he responds, holding up his hands. "Admes, let's split these fools up so Lani can haul some weight around here."
"Alright," Admes smirks, and looks at the group of boys. "Who here wants to get their ass kicked by a gorgeous Alexandrian woman?"
Lani laughs when half of them raise their hands.
By the end of the week (two weeks to go) Lani has placed herself as one of the best sparring partners in the entire village. Instead of only training the young Eidechsen, she's been sparring with the older, more seasoned warriors and has even had a one on one with Gila. Salamander only knows so much about the outcome of that and as he heads to Ond's hut he thinks about it. Ond had stopped training about midway through the week, insisting that he was old and if he was going to live he was going to live.
Besides, he still needs to finish Lani's tattoo.
When Salamander gets to Ond's hut, he knows something's wrong. Ond is tapping away and Lani is laying complacently, but something just seems... strange.
"What is it?" he asks immediately, and Ond looks up at him, eyebrow raised.
"What?" he asks.
"Something's wrong." Lani's looking at him too and he realizes something's wrong with her.
Ond notices Salamander staring at Lani and nods, "Figured as much," before starting his work. "This will be done by the end of the day. It might heal before the battle – it might not."
"Thank god," she mumbles. Salamander paces back and forth for a bit, frowning, before stepping outside. What the hell was that? Something's wrong with Lani and he doesn't know what – did his father say something to set her on edge or is she finally realizing that she's not going to see her family or friends again? Does she even have family or friends?
His chest suddenly hurts again, like it did when he saw Ond and his son interacting. He wonders what the hell is wrong but he can't pin it down. So he goes to the bar, which will be full of young kids that he just spent hours with, and where Admes will be. He suddenly feels like he needs to see Admes. Admes understands everything at it's basics – he can deduce what's wrong and make Salamander able to handle the future.
Admes is in the back, sitting at the table they've always sat at – the one that was moved to the center during a remodel only to be carried right back to the corner by Admes, Eki, and himself – and suddenly Salamander feels sick. What the hell is wrong with him?
Admes asks him that very question. "What's wrong?" he asks, making a motion to stand only to settle back down as Salamander sits.
"I was hoping you'd tell me." He puts a hand to his chest, "It feels so..."
"...I know." Admes sighs and nods, "I know. Salamander, you've never been any good with emotions."
"Don't need to tell me that," he responds.
"Sometimes I wonder. It's alright, bruder." Admes reaches over and puts a hand on Salamander's shoulder, "It's going to be fine."
Salamander doesn't feel like he's going to be fine. "Something's wrong with Lani," he mutters, and Admes raises an eyebrow.
"How do you know?" he asks, and Salamander doesn't know how to answer.
"...I don't know. Not really. I think it's... I don't know. I just saw her and knew..." He's making no sense but he knows Admes will decipher it before too long.
"I think that you're projecting your feelings onto her," Admes responds.
Salamander sits back and thinks of that for a moment. He knows enough about his own mind to remember times when he projected his emotions onto other people – he did it a few times to Admes and so they got into lots of trouble. He did it to his mother and pretended she felt fine even if she felt sick...
"Don't think too hard. Remember what I said," Admes taps his forehead, "Stop thinking with your head so much. You barely got two weeks until we have to go to battle; maybe you should think about tying up loose ends?"
"I thought you said we weren't gonna die?" the redhead asks, but he understands nonetheless.
"I know what I said but it doesn't matter. You know what we were taught – know that you'll live but act like you'll die. I think you of all people should take that to heart."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Salamander asks, raising an eyebrow.
"You've been acting as if you'll live, when you know you're gonna die. That's no way to behave, and you know it. That goes against everything we've been taught."
"I kind of didn't pay attention during most of our lessons, you know that." Admes rolls his eyes and Salamander feels slightly better, but it still... "I'm not sure something isn't wrong with Lani."
"Look, you beaten down lizard," Admes grins, "If you think something's wrong, you might as well go ask. What's she gonna do? Best case scenario, you figure out there isn't anything wrong – worst case she castrates you for invading her private life." He looks thoughtfully at the ceiling and then adds, "Or she could start crying."
"I doubt Lani's the type of person to start crying."
"I used to think you wouldn't be the type of person to have a panic attack over a battle."
It's a low blow but he's living as if he's about to die, and Salamander really can't hold it against him. No matter how much it might hurt his ego. "I'm not panicking over it. I just..." He puts a hand to his heart, "I have this bad feeling about it – you know I'm no good with emotions, I don't know how to put it out of my mind. I feel like I know what's going to happen, and it's the worst case."
"Now, that's just stupid," Admes pokes the other's forehead, "Stop worrying, would you? We've got plenty of able-bodied warriors around here, and we're not gonna die. Hell, I'd be surprised if we even lost more than a dozen."
Salamander sighs and sits back. He has this feeling that Admes won't even have a moment to be surprised...
There's usually some sort of ceremony – a large dinner for the family or even big parties for those who are more popular – when a tattoo is finished, but Lani insists that even if Gila wants to at least have her for supper, all she wants to do is sleep. This sets off little marks in Salamander's head, because all she asks him to do is get her food, even if she's joking. So when Gila gives him time alone, leaving to converse with the Elders as he's been doing every evening, Salamander walks through the village, taking in the evening and waiting to gather the wit to go see what in the hell is bothering Lani, who's now technically bonded to him, even if he isn't planning on holding her to any of the rules, regulations, and ceremonies that bonding involves.
She is still a friend – albeit a viciously beautiful one – and he doesn't like being left in the dark with his friends.
Her shed, hut, shack – whatever she wanted to call it – is coming closer and he realizes that he's got the wit to go see her, and it's now or never as far as his head is concerned. Even if Admes says he should stop thinking logically.
He knocks on the wood beside the door and hears a thump as something is dropped. "What?" Lani shouts in annoyance, and Salamander shakes his head.
"Open up, woman."
"Don't you know how to say please?" she asks, cracking open the door nonetheless and staring at him, "What do you want?"
"...Something's wrong, hn?"
Something crosses Lani's face and Salamander registers it as surprise – shock, maybe. She shakes her head. "Nothing's wrong, Red. I'm just tired."
"Tired enough to be fucking around?" Salamander asks, nodding towards a pile of random crap just in his vision. She looks around and then sighs, opening the door wider and letting him slip in.
"Red, I..."
"No, I'm getting it. Give me a minute, I'm a bit slow during wartime." He gazes at the trinkets and sharpening stone and various feathers, jewelry, and such, and gets it very quick. "Running?"
She looks as if she's been struck, so he adds, "Not that I blame you."
"I'm not... It's not running if you don't have any ties to the place you're leaving." Lani looks at her stuff, piled up on the only blanket in the place, ready to be tied into a sack and carried off. "I figure I can make it down the mountain and slip around the army during night, or something along those lines."
He's still thinking of what all this means about his feeling, when she says, "Come with me, would you? You've got a bad feeling, like me. You've got it."
Salamander thinks about it seriously, honestly for a moment, and then shakes his head. "It's running, and no Corel will run." He looks at Lani sideways, "It might be different in Treno, but here we don't ever try the back door if we can help it. We don't run, Lani."
"Red, it's not running-"
Something hurts. "It's running if you've got ties, isn't it? Well, I've got ties. I've got friends and family and a house and a reputation, Admes and my father. I've got stuff tying me here."
"...I'm sorry, Salamander," she mumbles, "I just..." She looks at him for a long while. "I've got ties, too. Friends and family in Treno, and I can't just stay here and fight a lost cause."
Something snaps and he smacks her across the face, knocking her to the side a little. She yelps and then looks at him before looking away, staring at a wall. "Don't you dare call us a lost cause," he snarls, "Don't you dare call my people a lost cause and act like you're taking the right path just because you don't have any ties that you care about here."
She stares at him, confused, and then says, "I didn't mean it like that..."
"You better learn how to talk better, then, woman. You're right to run – we don't need anyone who thinks we're a lost cause. We don't need a damned Alexandrian who runs off just because she's afraid. I don't need that." He waves a hand, "What was I thinking? I don't fight with cowards."
He grabs the door and nearly rips it off – he's so...
There's not really anything going through his head when he heads back to town. He knows he should be feeling something but it's all just... it's just nothing. His bad feeling gets worse but now, more than ever, he shoves it roughly to the back of his brain and knows that he's going to live just to show that damned bitch that they're not a lost cause.
When he gets to the hut it's still dark, but he doesn't feel like lighting a candle. He simply tumbles into bed and closes his eyes, even if it's early – he's got to get up early and train. And train, and train, and train...
When he wakes up hours later he realizes that Lani's left. He just knows. He sighs and closes his eyes and wishes he had left with her.
He doesn't fight with cowards. How in the hell can he fight at all, when he's a coward, too?
I won't cry for yesterday...