Chapter 36: Chipped Angels

Disclaimer: No ownership. I'm just perpetually on my knees before the altar of Jossverse. :P.

Rating: I think I'm boring everyone to death repeating the same thing each time. See the first fourteen chapters if you haven't, yet :)

Summary: This is the summary of the last couple of chapters and anything important I thought needed to be added. :D.

AU from the ending of Season 4. Riley and Buffy have 'made up', while Spike has finally realized his true feelings for Buffy. Daniel, Cassandra, and Dawn, have also uncovered and old poem that may or may not be a prophecy. And, as all prophecies are wont to be, it's cryptic and doesn't make sense :P. Riley has also been going to the vamps for a while to get bitten. Spike has discovered, and has led Buffy to him.

A/N (Goddess! Thank you so much to everyone! hugs! Thank-you to Kim, who's commented almost every single chapter since she found this fic. I know what you mean about stuffing up with the reviews. Thanks anyway! You're right. It is hard to deal with illness and death, especially if you've been sheltered like Dawn. I agree with your view of vampires as well. I believe all sentient beings can feel as well. My view on souls will probably be coming later, though :P.

Thank-you too, to Dieu Anonyme! It's been a while since I've seen you around, my friend : ). Good to see you. (laughs). I don't blame you for hating Riley :P. His downfall's coming, though. :P. Hope you enjoy.

You're right. I mainly put that section in because I wanted the reader to feel pity for him. I've always kinda felt sorry for him, to tell the truth. And yes, Spike has finally seen the light :P. Don't worry, he won't be turned into schoolboy-crush-having-vampire. Although being kinda cute is part of his character sometimes, I partially disagreed with the show in that sense as well. I'm glad you've been enjoying this so far. Thanks for reviewing!

And thanks to Charity for your two reviews:P Your enthusiastic cheering on is really helping! Thanks to all of you who reviewed, I've managed to write a full chapter in 2 days, and thus this one can be released now. : D.

I apologize for going on and on about the reviews and not getting to the chapter, but really, guys, I just want to tell you all how much I appreciate it! It's the only reason I was able to get out a chapter so quickly! My thanks again at coming back and finding 4 review alerts in my inbox. It really finally killed my writer's block for good with this fic, I think:D. So now, without further ado, onto the chapter! Hope you enjoy :) )

8 8 8

Cassandra pushed the tree slightly. It sagged.

"I still think it doesn't have enough support, guys."

"Perfectionist," Daniel shot back. "It could be completely straight, with all the branches in the right position, every globe and pattern of the decorations matched symmetrically on each side, and the star shining and flawless, and you'd still find something wrong."

"But the fact is," Dawn chuckled. "It's not completely straight, I think the branches are lopsided, and the decorations are pretty much staggered. And the star's kinda bent."

"Hey," Daniel protested. "You're not helping!"

"I know," Dawn smirked.

"No fair," he sulked. "I have two beautiful girls ganging up on me."

Cassandra blushed. Dawn chuckled. "You've been hanging around Xander way too much, Daniel."

"No," Cassandra snorted. "He's just a guy."

They laughed and whacked each other, while Tara watched the entire exchange with a soft, amused smile as she teetered on her toes in an effort to hang up a homemade ornament with the words 'Buffy and Dawn: To Mum' inscribed shakily in childish writing on the back.

"I d-don't see any reason to disagree with him."

"Neither do I," Willow grinned happily. "You're all fine, upstanding young people of the upcoming generation, proudly soldiering forth in pursuit of… uh…"

"Presents?" Daniel asked, almost bouncing on his toes. At the look from the others, he stopped. "What? The tree will look better once it has the presents under it."

Dawn smiled. "And we'll arrange it just like Mum…"

She paused.

Cassandra reached over and was about to pat her shoulder, but Dawn regained her composure in less than a second. "Just like Mum's done it for the couple of years. When she comes home tomorrow, everything'll be okay."

Willow and Tara looked at each other silently as the scene unfolded in front of them.

The hand reaching up to grab a painted clay angel from the mantelpiece and move it across accidentally skimmed it instead, and it fell. Cursing, Dawn swooped down and inspected it closely.

"It's not broken…" she sighed with relief.

"Just a chip off the wing," Daniel reached down and picked it up, giving her the tiny piece of white and gold painted clay. "We can stick it back on. Superglue solves everything."

Cass snorted. "Except your insufferable ability to be so cheerful."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he joked, before their shared banter was cut off by the look on Dawn's face.

"Dawn?"

She snapped out of it, and put a strained smile on her face. "Well… uh… we could always glue his lips together."

Cass shook her head, pushing away the concern with a light rejoinder. "He'd still be able to smile. And follow us around. And smile some more."

Daniel waved. "Hello? Standing right here."

They continued on oblivious.

"Maybe. But at least the optimistic comments wouldn't be hitting us left, right, and centre."

"Someone has to be optimistic among you two," Daniel snorted. "I mean, look at you. The Doom and Gloom sisters. Maybe Buffy can slay your pessimism?"

"Ha-de-ha-ha," Dawn muttered, before carefully poking some of the ornaments. "Are we done yet, then?"

"I'd say we are," Willow finally, guardedly, broke in at that, switching off the living room lights. Before, as she and Tara had watched, the three of them had seemed almost in their own world, bantering, comforting, snarking. It reminded her briefly of high school days. Watching the interaction with the new eyes and subtle appreciations magic and being around Tara had given her was incredible.

"I think the place looks quite nice now," Tara nodded.

"Well…" Cassandra opened her mouth.

"Don't," Daniel warned. "Don't you dare."

She shut her mouth and proceeded to take in the view again.

The Summers' living room was lightly glowing in the darkness, a combined effort of the moonlight streaming in from the open curtains and the Christmas lights that dotted the tree. A line of Angels decorated the mantelpiece, staggered with layered, unlit candles, complementing the brightly coloured stockings that hung underneath. All that was missing was the fire in the brazier, the presents under the tree…

And Mum and Buffy, Dawn thought silently to herself.

8 8 8

Riley.

Riley.

Riley.

He'd warned me. Spike. He'd warned me. "You don't have to see this if you don't want to, Slayer," he'd said, outside that derelict, broken down building, where my Slayer senses went haywire at the blood and the vampires inside. "I can…" he'd faltered. "I can tell you. I just don't think you'll believe me."

"If it was so important you needed to wake me up, then I might as well. Plus…" I'd taken a steadying breath. "I'm already here, anyway."

Beneath the calmness, I'd been churning like anything. Riley? What could Riley be doing here? Was this where he'd disappeared to that night when I needed him? How did Spike now? Why did Spike now? What was happening? Why was Spike… Oh, God, if Spike was leading me to Riley of his own free will, what could have happened? What would have happened? What did happen? Or did anything happen? Was Spike just bored and…?

No. Not with the intensity of everything he was feeling glowing out of his eyes and spilling out of his heart like that.

And then, I'd seen it.

You don't have to see this if you don't want to, Slayer. I can… I can tell you. I just don't think you'll believe me.

How can I believe this!

My mind screamed. My heart shuddered.

Betrayed.

Again.

Names, memories, flooded. This wasn't…

Father. Daddy. Hank.

Laughter. Happiness. Screaming. Fights. Sobbing. Tears. Gone. Phone. Letters. Secretary. Spain.

A cheque every month. Nothing else.

Angel. Angelus. Words. Bile. Hate. Pain. Blood. Fear.

Fear/Love.

Parker. Escape from Angel. Telling myself I'd gotten over him.

It wasn't about Angel?

It was all about Angel.

Cast. Aside. Like nothing.

Now… now…

Riley. Trust. Not love… if it were love, would I go insane? Insane with this pain… pain…

Trust. Human. Good. Demon-Hunter. Demon-Hunter with the Slayer. Match made in Heaven. Right?

… right?

Normal. Honest. Trustworthy.

Convenient.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…

"Slayer…"

I looked up. To this day, I don't know what was in my eyes. But he flinched.

"Buffy," his voice became softer. "I… I thought you should know, love."

So easy. It would be so easy, to put the blame on him. Move your legs. Move your arms. Pound him into a pulp and leave him to the sunrise, pour all of your anger and fear and pain, pain, pain into him.

No.

What do you mean no? Or just… glare. Glare and walk away, and beat him up later when you can think. Make him feel like it's his fault.

No.

Why! He's just a soulless…

Don't start that. Not now.

But…

Shut… up. He helped me, tonight. What if Riley had gotten turned, and Dawn or Mum invited him in? What if he met Xander, Willow, Anya, Giles, Cassandra, or Daniel on the street?

But…

No.

The arguing inside my head was making me dizzy. Or that could have been the fresh load of memories and the aching that they brought.

"Thanks, Spike," it rasped out dryly from my throat. He studied it, his face concerned, but otherwise emotionless, like he was hiding something, perhaps. Or doing that scanny thing where he could look inside you and pull out all the feelings you'd always thought were hidden.

What came out of his mouth, though, still surprised me.

"Is there something I can do?"

I shook my head through the daze of everything. "I just want to go home."

He walked me home. I didn't question it. I wanted… I didn't know what I wanted. To scream. To shout. To cry. To glare. To cry. To rage. To slay. To cry. To slay. To slay. To run. Just to run away from it all. I don't know how I even walked properly. To this day, I'm not sure if at some point he caught me as I almost keeled over and let me lean on him. I think that perhaps he would have carried me if I'd have let it. To have so many feelings rending at my insides; fear, anger, loneliness, hate, love, betrayal, pain, sadness, it seemed so hard to contain. Feelings leaking everywhere, lashing out and attaching to different people. To myself.

After a while, through blurred eyes… from a sudden exhaustion that had overtaken me not in any way related to tears, I saw our Christmas lights.

A broken laugh bubbled out of my lips.

"Merry bloody Christmas, Buffy Summers," I choked. "Merry bloody Christmas."

"Oh, love…"

I turned around and found myself in his arms. As I stood, and I sobbed, and he hugged me in my front garden, I didn't care that the neighbours could probably see me, that I was standing out in the open hugging William the Bloody. All I cared about were the arms encircling me, holding me tight against a hard, yet strangely comforting chest. I breathed as I wept, breathed in the scent of leather and cigarettes and Spike. And I didn't question why that made me feel better.