Title; Facing Problems

Author; DarklilDevil

Disclaimer; I own….. HOLY CRAP!!! STOP THE CLOCK! (Clock?) I OWN ANIME! Yes, deprived little me got the first five eps of .hackSIGN , and the movie Spirited Away. This rox! Obviously, if I owned a whole programme, and the rights to it, blah, blah, blah, you'd know about it!

Warnings; Well, I think the swearing get a bit bad in here… but these are very frustrated characters I'm dealing with… I'd be doing a lot more then swearing. I'd be hurting whoever was hurting me… But yeah, that's me

Pairings; Fiona/? Karl, Raven, some random I go to school with? Who knows. Frankly, I don't. I don't think…?

Note; Oh yeah, this is in diary format, (I think?), so sorry if it bothers you. I was stuck.

Now, my apologies;

I AM SO SORRY! I'M NOT DEAD, I SWEAR!! (Ducks flying objects) I understand if you won't review any more… but I am SO SORRY!!!

Saturday,

Dear Diary,

This morning, when I was in the cafeteria, O'Connel asked me something.

He asked if I was all right.

Now, seeing as how I have no injuries, I had to guess that he was talking about my feelings, but I couldn't figure out why.

Anyway, I asked why they wouldn't be alright, and he just said, "Why don't you tell me?"

I said I didn't know what he was talking about, and he went into this speech, like he'd rehearsed it, about being my friend, and being there to help me. And then, asked if I'd tell him what was wrong, or did he have to ask Raven?

I told him that Karl dumped me, and after he got over the shock, he decided that was why I was depressed.

Depressed? Me? Since when?

He told me that even Raven had been worrying about me, and that kinda shocked me a little, but said guy sat down.

Anyway, what he had to tell me was even more shocking then the thought of O'Connel thinking I was depressed.

He told me that the time limit was up. I had to go away for veer, or become a true member.

I asked when I had to get an answer to him by, and so now, I have to have one by Monday. Joy.

I got up, and ran to my room, having a good cry. What? It's good to cry now and then. It is!

But, I have to ask....

Why?

Why am I so sad?

All the bad things have happened to me here... I lost Karl, I've been worked nearly to death... But I still don't want to go. I don't want to stay, either.

What the hell do I want?

Anyway, I went to the tree after my cry, thinking again.

Why can't I decide?

I can barely remember what it's like to not be here, how could I choose to stay if it's better out there?

Or what if it's terrible out there, and I go, and hate it, but can't come back?

Damn, what I need is to see what it's like.

So, I came to a conclusion.

Guess what?

Raven and I are going back to my old place, for a week.

But when I rang Moonbay to tell her, the person who answered the phone was a guy, an adult.

Turns out her parents are home for a while.

It was a bit hard to talk to her, as there wasn't much to say, but then I told her, and wow.

It's like I'd been away for ages.... Oh wait. I have.

She asked when I'd get there, and I figure that tomorrow evening would be the latest. Then she asked how I'd get there, and I hadn't thought of that. After nearly two seconds of thinking, I said that I'd hitchhike or something.

Bad idea.

So now, Raven will drive me there, and back.

I dunno what he's gonna do while I'm there, 'cause the others probably will blame him for something.

They always have before.

Heh, Moonbay doesn't like her parents. At all. Her mum, apparently, found her CD collection, didn't like the look of all of it, and threw it out.

But not before snapping them all in half.

Moonbay was positively fuming. She had about two hundred CD's that she'd been saving for since I met her, and before even that.

Her dad's good enough, he hasn't destroyed anything of Moonbay's, but has forbidden her to have Van around.

Turns out Van made a great first impression.

Showed up in a car of random people, shirtless, and just wandered in. I'm not too sure, but I think her mum found Van in the bathroom, getting something for his hangover.

Must've been to a killer party.

But, how could Moonbay hate her parents?

At least she has some.

My parents just went and left me.

Even before the crash, they ignored me.

Now I live off what they left behind, and what the state provides for me.

Every week, there's a lady that's supposed to check up on me, make sure I'm being healthy and so on, but told her I was going with a friend on vacation, so she's fine.

But… I miss my parents.

Those two people, despite the arguing, and the fights, the shattered plates, I miss them.

They were the ones who raised me, and I could live with the stress, if I had to. I want them back.

But no, that stupid bloody driver had to speed, in the rain, down a one-way street. So my parents are gone.

So what?

I'm still me.

Little, lonely, abandoned me.

At that point, tears were splattering the pages, so Fiona closed it, and threw herself stomach first down onto the bed.

It was true.

She was alone, and without Karl, she had no one, only her friends.

But she needed someone to take care of her, love her.

Karl had been the closest she'd gotten.

Now he was gone, too.

Sunday, 4: 28 p.m.

Dear Diary,

Well, I spoke to Reece before, asked if she wanted to come, but she didn't, not wanting the others to see her pregnant.

I figure they've all guessed by now, well, maybe not Van, but I don't want to be mean here, he's just a bit... slow on the uptake.

So, now I figure that either she's as slow as Van, which she isn't, or one of our friends is the father.

I'll have to think about that later on.

I'm still not doing weekend Zoid lessons, but I'm not sure of the reason for that any more. I mean, every time they're mentioned, I feel pain, but it's lightening up. I find that since Raven still demands to teach me, it's more of an excuse to be with him.

I wonder... if... maybe I like him.... But I know, for sure, that if I could, I'd have Karl over Raven, any day.

That's what confuses me.

Shouldn't I hate Karl for doing that?

Without even giving me a reason.

Right now, Raven and I are driving in silence.

Well, the radio's on, but it's been silent for twenty-three minutes.

Me, picky? Never.

I don't know what to do when we get there.

I can tell it's not going to be easy, 'cause I know that I can't expect them to ditch Karl, and they won't ditch me, (hopefully), so we're gonna meet somewhere.

Ugh, this is giving me a headache.

Wednesday,

Dear Diary,

Well, again, I'm in the car with Raven, but this time, I'm highly pissed off.

Notice that the date is Wednesday, the third day. Well, the reason for my going back early is simple: I couldn't take it.

Irvine was being such an arsehole. All right, so Moonbay was saying that the guy Dom and him have been going on and off for a while, but really, pity only goes so far.

Get over it.

Heh, I'm such a hypocrite. Oh well.

Van surprised me, he's much smarter now, but that's in a bad way, I think. Not matter what's said, he manages to find a smart-arse comment to accompany it.

It gets frustrating.

Moonbay's been very tense, with her parents, (who disapprove of me, because I'm a "punk," Irvine because he's "different," and Van because of a whole list of things I'm either unwilling to repeat, or unwilling to know), Moonbay's sister, Mary-Anne, is with her, and Van's been hassling her, making Moonbay spin out...

And then there's Karl.

That fucking arsehole had the nerve to tell me to get him a drink, calling me all these names like 'babe' and 'beautiful'.

He fucking broke up with me, and now he's acting like I broke up with him.

I'm getting too upset over this... deep breath...

Anyway, I got so high-strung that Irvine and I had a screaming fight in the middle of the road. It just happened to turn a bit violent, but I swear I would have won if that cop car hadn't pulled up.

I now have a criminal record.

Something about domestic fighting. I think the police thought Irvine and I were the ones who broke up. In a way, we did, but with other people.

Oh well, I'm gonna ponder what my answer will be now.

I'm either going to leave… and see Karl all the time… never knowing… or I can fight...and I'll get to see Raven.

Hm.

I wonder. (eye roll)

What a no-brainer.

But still, I want to keep in touch with my friends... but maybe when there's MUCH less stress. MUCH LESS.

Replies;

gundam06serenity

Woah, take a deep breathe, it's updated.

Alla' my stories? I'm deeply honoured! I wanna read all of your story's, but I've only read three so far… I'll get there… and hopefully remember to review… Oh, and YOU can update now! Hah!

Kitty! (fionaangel1aol.com)

Thankx! I agree, but if someone reads this, and enjoys it, that's all I care about!

Taltos;

Some old, same old, Thank you for your help, and I haven't been in contact with you as much as I've wanted to, but that's writers block for you. My brother admitted that he cursed me. Now, to curse him with car troubles… not that he needs my help…

Dianne;

I sense some hostility towards Karl…? Thank you for reviewing, it's helping me to get past this enormous block…

Rave-Art;

I seriously doubt my story is the best, but if you like it, that's all that matters! The readers happiness! And my self-esteem.

Sarah;

Thank you very much. Well, this counts as an update, doesn't it? Oh well, thank you and goodnight!

Devil

(Any idea's welcomed with open arms)