Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Summary: He tried to forget. She helped him forget. But he never looked at her because where green should be, blue reigned. Where pink should be blond replaced. Where Sakura should be Ino stood. 'I understand, Shikamaru.' Shika/Saku oneside Ino/Shika Oneshot. Rating to be safe.
ALTERNATE ENDING TO 'JUST THIS ONCE'
Understanding
Shikamaru let the soothing sound of the stream wash over him as he rested his head on his interlocked fingers and stared at the clouds slowly passing by overhead. It was relaxing, watching them drift apart and rejoin, just changing the slightest bit to become a new creature or object in his eyes.
A good way to pass the time. A good way to forget that they were in a war. That he was a soldier. That the next time out in the field might be his last. Yes, it was a good way to pass the time until his death.
Ironically enough, the war had torn apart people and hopes and dreams as easily as the wind had shredded the clouds. So maybe it didn't help him forget. A bit of cloud here could be an arm lost in battle…a wisp of cloud here could be the memory a loved one…a clump of clouds here, soon joined by others, could be a cluster of fallen hopes and dreams…
A shadow fell over him but he didn't tense. He had sensed her coming a while ago and wondered how long she would watch him before finally coming up. She sat down next to him and leaned back on her arms to watch him, not the clouds.
She then laid her head on his chest and let her eyes drift to the white masses of fluff floating above her.
"Watching clouds again, huh Shikamaru."
Shikamaru let the corners of his lips turn upwards slightly, "Yeah, Sakura."
The two continued to stare at the clouds for only a short period of time before Sakura fisted her small hands in Shikamaru's fishnet shirt, "It's time to go, Shika. It's time to go." Her voice was higher than usual.
Shikamaru closed his eyes and relished the feel of warm flesh pressed against his. A heart beating in rhythm. Blood flowing just as his. A breathing body…
'Crying is too troublesome.'
He felt the sobs that wracked her small frame and the hot tears that soaked into his shirt.
'But maybe…'
He rested his arms on her back for just a few seconds before tightening his hold and encircling her entirely in his arms. Her tears now ran down his neck and he could smell the fruity smell of her shampoo and bodywash.
He had gotten her vanilla bodywash and shampoo last Christmas.
Shikamaru tightened his hold around her again and the two clutched at each other as if they were their lifeline. "Shika. Promise me you'll come back? Promise?"
'But maybe just this once…;
He knew what she was asking. Shikamaru shook his head and tried to keep his voice from trembling, "No, Sakura…you know I can't. I wish I could oh kami I wish I could…but I can't. That'd be unfair to both of us."
She sobbed again but nodded, understanding. Understanding that he was trapped with the clouds, unable to look away from the soft wisp that had been torn from him. Understanding that not once during this exchange had he looked at her. Understanding that he'd never see her…afterall, Sakura had been dead over a year.
Shikamaru closed his eyes and tears fell from them, dripping onto her soft hair.
'Just this once, tears are worth it…'
Ino clutched at her teammate and cursed unrequited love in her head, but she knew in her heart that she wouldn't change the way things were if she could. He deserved happiness and if this was the only way…if stolen moments when he could pretend he forgot was the only way for her to be with him…
I understand, Shikamaru.
Shikamaru pried himself away from the blonde haired chuunin and kissed her on the forehead. He couldn't bear to see the pain on her face… The fantasy had passed and he couldn't bear to see the blue eyes that should be seafoam green. He couldn't bear to see the long blonde hair that should be short and pink. He couldn't bear to see the tanned skin instead of the delicate milky white it should be.
Shikamaru disappeared in a soft whirl of leaves and his eyes were calm and steady as he ran to join his little wisp of a cloud. Afterall, it was…
'Just that once.'
A/N: alternate ending I came up with while writing 'Just this Once'. Please review!