Use of language later - you've been warned..
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"Are you drunk ?" Snape asked gaping at her.
"No" Tonks answered, slightly worried.
Snape closed his eyes and began rubbing his temples. "I don't believe this".
"Let's go see the headmaster" they both said at the same time.
Later in the headmaster's office, after Tonks defended herself against Hooch, who seemed to still harbor delusions of - well just delusions...
It seemed the headmaster was not worried at all. He figured this would improve Snape's position as a double agent.
"I'm glad Tonks, that you have finally admitted your true feelings" Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling.
"Feelings ?" Snape choked as Tonks proceeded to rip out her hair. Maybe she should have a relationship with Flitwick, she could borrow half his beard to make up for all the hair she was loosing...
"Yes, I believe Tonks has been hiding this from you for quite a while - like that time she was going to surprise you but I came in instead, hence the reason your room was in disarray" Dumbledore continued.
"So you jumped Dumbledore in my rooms because you thought he was me ?" Snape said, eyebrows raised.
"If you'll excuse me" Tonks snarled through gritted teeth "I am going to get drunk and forget I ever decided to take that bloody shower in the first place"
"You jumped Dumbledore while you were in the shower ?" squeaked Snape who tried to get rid of the images that were appearing in his mind.
"AAAAAAAARG ! I've had it" and Tonks walked out of the office. Where to go, where to go... Hagrids ! No students would be there for fear of being attacked by the new nizzle - frises. Wait those weren't Hagrid's, they were that kid Luna's...
After having tea with Hagrid, Tonks decided she should return to the castle, it was getting dark.
Upon walking beside the lake, Tonks heard something behind her. Squinting, she realized it was Harry - not Harry Potter - the other really creepy Harry Percy worked for. It was then that Tonks realized with all the excitement earlier she didn't have her wand.
'Oh Fuck '.
"So" he said "Now that Percy's gone, your single mmm ?"
'Is this sod thinking what I think he's thinking ? If he is, the answer is not no, but no way in fucking hell '.
"And" leaned in Harry "you can be anyone you want to be, what a man wouldn't give for that"
' I'm about to give you something, and you won't enjoy it '
"How much do you want to keep your position with the ministry ? I have too many connections for you to reject my offer "
"I'd rather keep my virginity, and my robes clean of your filth."
' You are about to get a connection of my foot between your legs '
Harry pulled out his wand slowly.
' I can't curse him without a wand, so I'll do the next most sensible thing '
SPLASH
Tonks had jumped at Harry in order to try and disarm him, resulting in them both ending up with the lake.
Still wrestling with him, unable to see with all the water, Tonks could hear voices in the distance becoming more clear. Harry's hand had found her throat, and although Tonks struggled she couldn't pry her neck from his grip.
'Eew eew I know where that hand has been...grosss !'
Suddenly, she felt them being pulled apart, and she was brought to the edge of the lake where she coughed water everywhere. Looking around, she tried to focus despite the water in her eyes but everything was bleary and it was too dark. She managed to stand but was having trouble walking. Someone wrapped a towel around her and was helping her to walk in the direction she assumed was the castle.
Every step she took, she became more tired. Finally she was helped into a chair, her vision still blurry, as shapes whirled around her. Closing her eyes as she was becoming dizzy, she immediately fell asleep.
The next morning Tonks opened her eyes. She was in the hospital wing, on a bed, sitting beside her in a chair was Dumbledore, standing at the foot of the bed beside the curtains was McGonagall.
"What happened ?" Tonks asked groggily.
"Quite a lot actually" Dumbledore said. "There was a ... brawl ... that involved the entire school".
"The ENTIRE school?" Tonks repeated, sitting up.
"Well first Harry and yourself were fighting, meanwhile Snape went after you, so he became involved. Hooch was stalking Snape so she became invovled when she was worried Harry might hurt him. Trelawny was hoping to attack you while you were undefended after the whole Flitwick incident and she also became involved. Flitwick became involved because he felt it was partially his fault that Trelawny got the wrong idea. Hagrid heard the commotion and was worried someone might be attacking his tomato plants and he ended up setting Fang on Flitwick by accident - "
"Oh God" Tonks said.
"He's limping for the time being, but he's more concerned over Trelawny's desire to help him have a complete recovery... now where was I ?"
"Oh yes ... McGonagall was worried Rookwood was out to get you, so she went looking for you, letting her students out of detention early, one of which students was Harry Potter, who was curious to discover why detention had been cancelled. He visited his map and saw the fight that was already taking place and decided to join. Every other Gryffindor seemed to follow him. One thing led to another and there was a complete fiasco" Dumbledore went on, looking bored.
"As a result, there are 45 students with various injuries-"
Tonks gasped.
"-From slytherin alone. It seemed Mr.Malfoy had been drinking after his quidditch victory and he and Filch got into an argument over how good Helga Hufflepuff looked and all the other houses decided to gang up on him. It seems they fancied Ravenclaw..
Tonks looked around. The curtains were only drawn around one other bed "Why aren't there any students in the hospital wing, then ?"
"Today is a Hogsmeade visit" replied McGonagall. "So instead they are recuperating in their common rooms in the absence of other students. We simply wouldn't be able to fit them all in here".
Tonks began banging her head against the wall. This was all her fault.
"I daresay the school hasn't had this much fun since - well I don't know when.." Dumbledore said.
Tonks stared at him. What was this guy on ? And where can she get some ? (get some medication - mind out of gutter please)
"I'll leave the two of you to discuss other ... prominent... issues McGonagall informed me about" Dumbledore said, winking to Tonks.
"Let's have some tea" McGonagall said, transfiguring tea from the air. "So tell me about Severus"
'AAAAH. Do they never give up ?' Tonks cursed.
"We're getting married, moving into a cute little white house with red shingles and freshly mowed green grass with a white picket fence and a little dog named spot. We'll have his and hers embroidered on our bath towels -"
"The towels being Slytherin colors, of course" came a silky reply.
Tonks snapped around to see Snape looking get her from behind the other set of what were previously closed curtains.
" THIS IS A CONSPIRACY" Tonks shrieked, jumping out of bed. "What are you doing here ?"
"I was giving Flitwick a potion to clear his mind after Trelawny decided to get a little over ... intimate... after he was attacked by Hagrid's dog".
Tonks just noticed Flitwick, who was stuttering, eyes glazed over.
"I'd like to thank you for last night" Tonks said.
' Oh my God there's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say to him..'
Snape just stared.
" If you want me to get on my knees and beg, you could end up waiting for a while " Tonks added.
Still staring, Snape's knees buckled. He grabbed his left arm as he bent over and stumbled out of the room.
"Oh fuck, is he ever screwed" Tonks said.
"I don't want to know what you do after class" McGonagall said, shuddering.
" STOP GETTING THE WRONG IDEA - When he gets back I am getting the strongest potion ever made. I. Can't. Take. This." and Tonks left to wait in Snape's rooms.
' There is some serious problem with the staff at this school. The house elves must have put something in their pumpkin juice. Snape and me ? Honestly - I can just picture us five years after marriage - I've broken every single potions flask he owns, spilt food all over his textbooks, and he's made me wear an extra seven layers of clothes because we have to live 17 feet under the ground.'
Tonks snorted to herself and proceeded to argue with herself mentally.
' admit it, you like him '
' do not, he's just a friend '
' aha you admitted he was a friend '
' oh bloody hell. Friend, nothing else '
' even if McGonagall was serious about him being in love with you ? '
Tonks shook her head, she definitely needed a strong potion right about now.
' How long do Death Eater meeting take anyways?
I am totally bored... I'd look at all those things in bottles on his shelves, but I'd knock them over... there really isn't anything for me to do down here... So I'll do the next best thing - I'll draw all over his board in his classroom '.
After covering the board in diagrams and pictures that would result in expulsion if a student had drawn them, Tonks was bored again.
' Maybe I can find some books on potions I can use against the Weasley twins ...'
Tonks heard someone coming through the floo. She went over to see who it was, and like she had predicted, it was Snape.
As her being an auror, Tonks was supplied with all the passwords in the castle. She originally was planning on sneaking up behind him and seeing if she could surprise him, but changed her mind when she saw how bad of shape he was in.
Snape was dragging himself towards his bed when Tonks made her presence known.
" Are you ok ?" Tonks asked.
Snape didn't seem shocked to see that she was there.
" I will be eventually " he answered, pulling off his death eater robes, which was difficult as he was shaking so badly.
"What happened ?" Tonks asked cautiously.
" The man that attacked you by the lake was a Death Eater impersonating the real Harry Mr. Weasley works for. He was here in attempt to spy on Dumbledore. BecauseI became involved in the incident between him and yourself,I was punished ".
Tonks completely forgot to ask Dumbledore what happened to Harry. She didn't think she wanted to know anymore.
Tonks went over to him and slowly reached out her hand and touched his arm. She could feel him arm continually twitch. She sat down beside him and slowly moved her hands up and down his arms as he stared at her.
" You don't have to stay " Snape said, not looking at her, but across the room.
Tonks realized she didn't want to leave and leaned in closer, moving her hands to rub his shoulder muscles.
Instead, Snape became more tense.
"Stop" he said suddenly, turning to face her.
"If you want to pretend, that's fine, but I'm not in the mood for it at the moment "
"I don't understand what you mean by pretend ?" Tonks asked confused.
"Pretend - what you did to Mr. Weasley, Mr. Rookwood, and from the rumors I've heard, perhaps Professor Flitwick as well. I am aware you were pretending with Rookwood when you said you were in love with me, but I'd appreciate it if you'd wait until a later time , I'm not in the mood " Snape sighed.
Tonks put her hands back on his shoulders and leaned forwards, whispering in his ear. "I'm not pretending".
Snape twisted around, looked into her eyes, then gave a small smile. Well his mouth twitched. That's as close as he's ever going to be to a smile..
Tonks continued to massage him until they both became tired, and ended up laying on the bed.
"If you don't mind, I'd rather stay the night here, I don't want to risk me being clumsy and end up falling down three staircases in the dark" Tonks whispered.
"If you want, though I think falling down three staircases here is impossible .." Snape snorted, feeling slightly better.
"I've already done it before, so I know it's possible for it to happen again" mumbled Tonks.
"Hmm ?" asked Snape, not hearing her.
"I said I'll stay here" Tonks replied, not wanting to go into detail of her previous experiences at this school.
About six hours later, Snape had a nightmare, consisting of unpleasant flashbacks from his earlier summoning, causing them both to wake up. However, both had forgotten they weren't sleeping alone, and they tried to attack each other at the same time, resulting in them ending up in a tangled position on the floor.
"Sorry" Snape muttered, as he ended up over top of Tonks.
" it's not you that's the problem" Tonks hissed, her voice muffled from her face being covered in Snape's robes. "This floor is so fucking hard" Tonks said, wincing.
"The floor what ?" Snape asked, unable to hear what she had said as she was speaking into his chest.
"IT'S SO FUCKING HARD" Tonks yelled, after spitting his robes out of her mouth.
Unfortunately, this was the precise moment McGonagall, Doby and Kreacher had tried to floo into Snape's rooms. Only catching the last sentence and seeing their position, McGonagall threw some parchment at Snape and squeaked something about timetable changes before she scuttled back into the fireplace. Doby and Kreacher took off at lightning speed, mumbling something about cleaning the room later.
Snape rolled off of Tonks, but it was too late. McGonagall was most likely borrowing Dumbledore's pensieve this very moment. And Doby was probably recounting the tale to Potter. Bloody hell.
Reading the timetable changes, Snape silently cursed. Upon seeing Tonks face, he explained that this morning he had Gryffindor's first and the last thing he wanted to see now was Potter.
"I could be worse, it could be first years" Tonks said, trying to cheer him up.
"At least first years are afraid, they don't talk back, and they try harder" Snape retorted.
"So the Gryffindor seventh years aren't afraid anymore ?"
"Not in the slightest, I could take fifty points away, and they could care less. There's no enjoyment in taking points away if they're not about to burst into tears" Snape continued.
Tonks couldn't tell if he was serious, but she decided he most likely was. "So scare them again"
"I've tried, I sneer, I threaten to test potions on them, no success" Snape muttered, glaring at the timetable.
"Well it's obvious they aren't scared because you've become too predictable. People are scared of the Dark Lord because they fear all the thing he might do. He's unpredictable, and you need to be the same in class" Tonks suggested.
"And what do you suggest ?" Snape asked, his interest obvious in his face.
" First" replied Tonks " you are going to have a shower".