Holy Almighty it took me forever to get this chapter up! I had 18 pages but then they were in the wrong format and you can imagine what happened, so I had to redo them. I also plan on doing a HG/SS story after, for some unknown reason. Hope this chapter is not too much worse than the last one.
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Remus had been close by, trying to find a way to ask Snape to make his Wolfsbane potion without loosing body parts and had seen Tonks hit the floor. While debating on whether or not he should risk being caught by weighing out the pros and cons, Hermione had managed to return Tonks to a state of consciousness and help her from the floor. With a look that resembled a first year student in a potions class, Tonks flew from the room. Literally, because as she was running she was her usual clumsy self, she tripped on one of Mr. Dursley's old smelly socks that Harry had not thrown out yet, and became airborne. Hermione chased after her, her piece of parchment falling out of her robes as she attempted to catch the teacups that were hazardly heading her way as Tonks flew past the kitchen. Remus went over and picked up the paper.
"Hang on you forgo-" but his sentence was cut short as his eyes quickly scanned the paper. Tonks was having problems morphing? Looking at the paper more closely, Remus went through each of the possibilities on the list.
'Bloody hell' Remus thought as his eyes rested on the word pregnant, and with that he quickly left the room.
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It seemed no one could find Tonks. Which isn't surprising as Tonks had ran off and gone back to Hogwarts. And she hadn't told anyone. Considering that there were very few people at Hogwarts when school wasn't in session, hiding wasn't that difficult. Unless you were trying to avoid a certain Professor. With long, black hair, who still smelt slightly like raspberries. Unfortunately for Tonks this was the case, so she remained in her chambers, only coming out on days that were bright and sunny because there was no chance that she would run into him then - he never came out of his dungeons if the weather was even a little bit close to sunny. While hiding in her chambers, she had plenty of time to think things over. These thoughts lead to nothing good.
'What if I'm pregnant? Lets see, what it it's Remus's? We'll end up with a werewolf that can change the color of its fur. Or maybe a girl with a very peculiar moustache. Both will most likely be obsessed with chocolate.'
'But what if it was Snape's because technically he was sort of the one I slept with… Either we'd have a total klutz with greasy pink hair or a perfectionist freak that would love glittery clothes. Is that combination even possible? And how would I break the news to him anyway? Oh by the way Snape, you're the father, and I know you don't remember sleeping with me because you weren't there, but anyways aren't you glad you have a heir?'
Snape had no idea what went on with her and Remus, only that polyjuice had been consumed. And she doubted Remus was going to be filling him in any time soon. Tonks snorted. Both choices were revolting. But right now she was far more worried about children than two grownup men. Tonks knew nothing about children - teenagers she could relate to, she listened to their music, dressed like one, and up until now had their hairstyles. Children on the other hand needed attention and, well Tonks wasn't quite sure what children needed but she figured she wouldn't be good at providing it, whatever it was. This calls for a talk with someone that knows a fair deal about children, but someone that wouldn't put two and two together and find out her secret. She was going to pay a visit to Mr. Weasley.
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Unable to find Tonks, Remus hid in an empty room at Headquarters. Trying to breathe normally, he ran tried to make sense of his jumbled thoughts.
'What if Tonks is pregnant? What do you mean if a voice replied in his head. You saw the sheet.
But what if Hermione made a mistake with the list?
Did you just say mistake and Hermione in the same sentence? Of course she didn't make a mistake you idiot! She's Hermione!
I think I'm screwed
Oh no, Tonks is the one who is screwed. More like was screwed. You're the one who's going to get screwed afterwards when everyone finds out.'
Remus cursed. He liked Tonks. Well more than like, considering he slept with her. So what to do now? The only sensible thing seemed to marry her. He could at least try to be somewhat honorable seeing as he caused the mess in the first place. Remus knew nothing about women. Well he thought he had, but not to the point where he could survive marrying one. He needed to ask an expert. Someone that could help him straighten things out without jumping to conclusions. He was going to see Mrs. Weasley.
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Tonks arrived at the Weasley household without breaking anything to find Mr. and Mrs. Weasley having some tea at their table.
"TONKS!" Molly cried, "You're alive, we didn't know where you went to, and I'm so happy your safe! Is anything wrong dear? Where have you been? Have you eaten? Are you hungry? Tea? How about some-"
Tonks froze. She had been hoping to find Mr. Weasley alone.
"Erm. Ministry business.. Need a word with Arthur, if you don't mind" Tonks blurted out.
"Oh but of course, take some biscuits with you!" Mrs. Weasley said excitedly.
"Oh yes, we shall have some later, but for now, business!" Tonks said, trying to keep a partial smile on her face as she practically pushed Mr. Weasley from the room as he was reaching for another biscuit, which ironically happened to be fudge.
"I need you to tell me all you know about children!" Tonks hissed when they were in a unoccupied room.
"I what?" Mr. Weasley stuttered.
"Children! What do you do with them! Tell me how to deal with them!" Tonks hissed.
"Well to tell you the truth, that was mostly Molly's doing. Why don't you ask her?" Mr. Weasley said, nibbling on his biscuit.
"Because you have more children than Hogwarts does! And except Fred and George, they turned out normal! And your wife would freak out if she found out what was going on. I need your help! "
"I don't' know"
"Please? Please Arthur? I need you!" Tonks hollered. Dropping her voice, she continued "what about that whole oath at the ministry, help fellow coworkers? If I told your wife I was expecting, she'd tell everyone and you know it!"
"Ex what? Who?" Arthur mumbled, choking on another biscuit.
"It's irrelevant! Tonks hissed.
"Molly is going to find out! You can't hide this forever!" Arthur tried to reason.
" Do you need a potion? Because I'll get you one if it would help!" Tonks growled. "Veritaserum isn't that hard for an auror to get a hold of" she whispered.
"No, no I can manage without one" Arthur said, clearing his throat, as he proceeded to quietly tell Tonks about his experiences with children.
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Most unfortunately for Tonks, Molly came by with sandwiches, and upon hearing the whispering had leant against the door to see if she was interrupting anything. Catching only glimpses of the conversation.
"Please? Please Arthur? I need you!"
"Molly is going to find out! You can't hide this forever"
" Do you need a potion? Because I'll get you one if it would help!"
"No, no I can manage without one"
Molly gasped, holding her hand against her mouth. Her husband was cheating on her!
Now one might think Molly would go in there and stab the occupants of the room to death with a dull umbrella, but if it was one thing Molly had ever learned from Fred and George, it was how to get even.
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Remus had arrived at the Burrow, which looked empty except for the teacups sitting on the table unattended. Molly appeared, with a glow in her eyes that made Remus wonder if he should come back later.
"Biscuit?" Molly asked, as though trying not to snarl and cry at the same time as she pointed to a plate on the table.
"Erm no, I've come to ask about erm." Remus leaned in, his moustache twitching slightly "women" he whispered so quietly that Molly almost didn't hear him.
"I'm afraid" Sniffled Molly "that I know nothing about women! If I knew I could keep my husband away from.." she trailed off.
"Oh Molly are you alright?" Remus asked, handing her his handkerchief and leading her to a chair.
"I'm so sorry you came at a bad time Remus. I'll try to help you though, what do you need to know in particular?"
"well" Remus began, sliding his chair towards hers, "I think I'm going to ask a certain someone to marry me and I need advice"
"Oh I'm so happy for you! You just brightened my day! " Molly said, throwing her arms around him as he struggled to breathe.
"Well I don't know I don't think she's inclined to say yes at the moment" Remus replied between gasps.
"Oh a perfect man like you? You're the dream of any woman" Molly replied, trying to boost his confidence. "I only wish my husband was half the man that you are"
Remus smiled slightly, though still not convinced. Unlike dating someone and then popping the question, his situation with Tonks was much more complicated.
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Complicated wasn't even close because this happened at the exact time Mr. Weasley was about to make an appearance. However, seeing his wife's arms around another man, he heard
"Oh a perfect man like you? You're the dream of any woman"
"I only wish my husband was half the man that you are"
Mr. Weasley was turning a shade of red that surpassed the color of his Weasley jumper. His wife was with another man! How long had this been going on? Mr. Weasley was going to go after Remus and settle the score.
'When I'm done with him, he'll have wished Snape got to him first.'
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Tonks was back at Hogwarts, even more scared of children than before. Who would have thought that at the age of 6 Bill found a way to get in the broom closet? And what if Molly hadn't gotten there in time when Ron got a hold of his father's wand by accident…
Not paying attention while dwelling on her thoughts, she tripped on the edge of the stairs. She managed to somewhat keep her balance on the railing as she went down, until she came in contact with the transfiguration professor. Both went down fast and loud, coming to a heap at the bottom. Tonks opened her eyes prepared for the sight of a very angry McGonagall, instead she saw shoes. Nicely polished black shoes which were connected to black robes. Although Tonks couldn't turn her head up enough to see, she knew who it was. The weather must be horrid outside if Snape was willing to venture out.
Snape helped McGonagall to her feet, and roughly dragged Tonks up as well, but he didn't let go of her arm.
"I believe we have something to discuss" Snape growled, his eyebrow raised awaiting her reply.
"I don't think we do" Tonks replied, trying to move as far away from him as possible with him still holding her arm. The last thing she needed after going down three flights of stairs was to be interrogated over the polyjuice incident. Could this man never give up? Or maybe the dark lord wanted information? Well then Snape could send him Remus, and everyone would be happy…
McGonagall in the meantime had straightened her hat and was scurrying around trying to pick up the parchment that she had let go of when she had been part of the avalanche on the stairs, oblivious to Tonks and Snape's conversation.
"I can assure you it is of utmost importance" Snape said smoothly, leaning closer. "I know about your condition"
A/N
Will attempt to have the next chapter up sooner. Have no fear I am not going to set Molly up with Remus or Arthur with Tonks because that would be very disgusting. They are just minor pawns in the mayhem that is coming.