Title: If Not Now… Chapter 3
Author: Adrienne
Spoilers: Through "All About Christmas Eve" and "If Not Now"
Summary: What happens after Abby tells Luka that she's pregnant.
Disclaimer: If you don't like it, don't read it. I write these stories for my own pleasure and the pleasure of my fellow Lubies out there, so don't give me crap about it.
Luka and Abby spent the next month in a state of bliss, first moving all of Abby's belongings into his apartment and then redecorating to suit their mutual tastes. They still hadn't told any of their coworkers about the pregnancy, and made sure to keep the relationship out of the ER to avoid any suspicion. Neela was the only one who really knew they were back together and about the baby and Abby knew she could be trusted not to spread information around to the rest of the staff. They still had also not approached Kerry with the subject, which they knew would have to be dealt with in the coming weeks, as it would become increasingly obvious by Abby's growing belly that she was pregnant.
Abby's first OB appointment was in the middle of January, and Luka was more excited about it than she was. He woke up early on the morning of the appointment and made Abby breakfast as he did nearly early morning now since Christmas. He had also arranged for himself and Abby to work most of the same shifts, now that he was the ER Chief and had the power to do so. He watched her every move at work and at home, and Abby would pretend to get annoyed, but in reality she enjoyed his constant attention and support.
"Come on Abby, wake up, we only have an hour and a half before the OB appointment. You don't want to be late," Luka said, trying to coerce her into getting out of bed. That had become another morning ritual; Abby had never been a morning person but had been more and more reluctant to get out of bed every day because the pregnancy and first trimester morning sickness were wearing on her.
"Just five more minutes, I promise," Abby mumbled to him and pulled the covers over him.
"That's what you say every morning, and it's always more than five minutes."
"I know, but this time I really, really mean it."
"If you get up now there's coffee in it…" Luka said with a smile, trying to entice her further.
"No, there's not. I'm not falling for that trick again," Abby told him from under the covers. "Besides, would you be excited about lying on a table half naked with your legs up in the air for a complete stranger to stare at you and prod you?"
"No, but I'm looking forward to watching you having to do that," Luka said, pulling the covers back and lifting Abby out of bed. "No more excuses, we're really going to be late if you don't get up, and we need to be on time for the appointment so we can get out of there on time because I set up a meeting to talk to Kerry about all of this."
"What?" Abby asked, suddenly awake. "That's today?" Luka set her down in front of the bathroom and walked in turning on the shower for her.
"Yeah, I had to make it for today because she's going on vacation for two weeks with Henry tomorrow and I'm sure by the time she gets back one of the nurses will have figured out you're pregnant and told the rest of the ER."
"Oh, Luka, I don't think I can face Kerry Weaver today."
"Yes, you can. Besides she might surprise you and be very supportive."
"Maybe…But this is the woman who turned Romano's memorial into a gay, lesbian and transgender center."
Luka laughed. "Well, he kind of had that one coming." Abby just laughed and reached up to kiss him. He put his arms around her and deepened the kiss.
"You sure I couldn't convince you to get back in bed with me?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Good try," Luka said. "Any other morning and we'd already be in bed, but truthfully I cannot wait to get to the doctor's to see the baby on the ultrasound for the first time."
Abby kissed him again. "What was that for?" he asked with a smile.
"I love that you already love this baby," she told him.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Does that mean that you'll get ready now?" Luka asked her, still smiling. Abby just playfully smacked his arm and walked over to the shower.
"I am so sending you out in the middle of the night for the most obscure food possible now, just for this."
"Anything for you."
Luka and Abby sat in the waiting room of the Dr. McLucas's office, gazing around at all the expectant mothers, some alone, some with their husbands or boyfriends. Abby squeezed Luka's hand, grateful once again that she was not going through this all alone. Abby was tapping her foot on the ground at a fast pace, not only anxious to get into the office, but worried that someone from the ER would wander by and see them there. Not that she didn't want to tell her friends, it was just that she wanted to make sure everything was going to be okay with the baby before they told more people than Maggie and Luka's father. She knew that a miscarriage was a very real possibility in the first four months, especially since she was over thirty-five.
The doctor in her kept reciting all of the things that could go wrong with this child, and the mother in her kept worrying that all of these things worries could come true. Abby knew that thinking about all of these things wouldn't do her or the baby any good, but she couldn't help it. With all of the things that she had seen and experienced in her life she couldn't help it.
"Nervous?" Luka asked her, trying to calm her nerves. Abby simply nodded in response.
"Are you nervous?" Abby asked, a little anxious that she was the only one who was nervous.
"A little," he admitted. "Mostly excited."
"Abby Lockhart," a nurse called out.
"Here," Abby said, getting up and collecting her purse and coat and following the nurse into an exam room.
"I'm Nurse Martin, Abby, I'll be helping Dr. McLucas today."
"Hi," Abby said, nervously clasping her hands together.
"And you're the husband?" Nurse Martin asked Luka.
"No," Abby and Luka said together.
"I'm the uh…I'm her boyfriend," Luka told the nurse. She smiled welcomingly at him and continued speaking with Abby.
"Okay, Abby. I'm going to start by taking your heart rate and blood pressure. Then I'll have you get into a gown and Dr. McLucas will come in to do the physical exam. Are you taking prenatal vitamins right now?"
"Yes, I have been since I found out I was pregnant," Abby said as the nurse took her heart rate and blood pressure.
"Okay, good, then I don't have to explain the importance of those to you," Nurse Martin said as she finished up. "Okay, everything looks good. Just a few routine questions now. When was the last day of your last menstrual cycle?"
"November 15," Abby replied.
"Okay," the nurse said, writing in the chart. "Any unusual symptoms you've been having?"
"No, just the usual. Fatigue, a little morning sickness. Not much weight gain yet."
"Well, you won't have to wait too long for that," Nurse Martin said with a smile. "Why don't you just get into this gown," handing Abby a flimsy hospital gown, "and hop up onto the table. The doctor should be in to see you in just a few minutes." Nurse Martin left the room and Luka and Abby looked at each other. Abby looked down at the gown and sighed, getting undressed as Luka watched her with a bemused expression on his face.
"You're enjoying this far too much, you know," Abby told him.
"Sorry," he replied, still grinning.
Abby hopped up on the exam table and put a blanket on her lap. "You know, I never realized it before, but it's really sadistic that we make people wear these in the ER. You can practically see through them."
"Well, I think you look pretty sexy in it," Luka said, laughing at the way she kept squirming on the table.
"Shut up," Abby laughed. "I'd like to see you in one of these things."
"You'd have to die me down first."
"That could be arranged," Abby said mischievously. Luka raised his eyebrows and was about to reply when the doctor walked in.
"Abby, I didn't expect to see you in my office," Dr. McLucas said.
"It was a surprise for me too," Abby told her.
"And this is…?" McLucas asked, looking at Luka.
"Luka Kovac," he said, getting up from his chair to shake her hand.
"Oh right," the doctor replied, recognition on her face. "The new ER chief, right?"
"That's right."
"You're in your second year of residency down in the ER now, right Abby?"
"That's right."
"We were all very sorry up here when you chose the ER, you would've made a great OB doctor or neonatologist," McLucas told her. "But I'm sure you're doing just wonderfully where you are."
"Thanks," Abby said.
"Well, you were up here long enough to know, but I'm going to warn you anyway. You need to take it easy, especially down in the ER. I know it can get very stressful at times and can even be dangerous. So, Abby I'm counting on you to know your own limits, and I'm sure Dr. Kovac will make sure you don't get into any trouble down there."
Luka nodded in agreement and gave Abby a smile. "So let's get down to business," McLucas told them. "First I'm going to do the pelvic and then I'll do the ultrasound, okay?" Abby nodded. "Just lie back then, and put your feet up in the stirrups."
Luka took a seat next to the table and held her hand during the examination. "Doing okay, Abby?" McLucas asked when she saw the uncomfortable look on her patient's face.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Abby told her.
"Just a little longer and we'll be finished, don't worry."
"Okay," Abby said and squeezed Luka's hand.
"Everything seems to be just fine," McLucas assured them both when she had finished examining Abby. "Ready for the ultrasound?" Luka and Abby both nodded, excited and nervous.
McLucas squirted some jelly onto Abby's stomach and turned the ultrasound machine on. A familiar whooshing sound started and suddenly their baby was on the screen. For Abby, suddenly everything about this baby felt real. She had known it was there, but now she was seeing her child for the first time and felt her heart swell with love for this baby.
"Our baby," Luka murmured, studying the tiny figure closely.
"Looks like you're at about six weeks, but we'll calculate the date more precisely once we're done with this. Everything looks good." McLucas hit a button on the ultrasound machine and a picture began printing. She took the picture and handed it to Abby. "And here is your baby's first picture. Congratulations." McLucas turned off the ultrasound and wiped the jelly from Abby's belly.
"Thank you," Abby and Luka both said.
"Abby, why don't you get dressed and I'll be back in a couple minutes." McLucas left the room and Abby got dressed silently. Luka held the picture in his hands, never taking his eyes off of it.
"Our baby," he repeated to himself quietly. He looked up at Abby, a wide grin breaking out on his face. He took her hand again. "I love you."
"I love you too," Abby replied, leaning down to kiss him.
McLucas reentered the room. "Okay, Abby, we've calculated your due date based on the final day your last menstrual cycle and it looks like August 6th is the day."
"August 6th, okay," Abby said, smiling.
"So, just keep taking your prenatal vitamins, call me with any problems, and I'll see you for your next appointment in a month. Congratulations again," McLucas said and left the room a final time.
"August 6th seems so far away," Abby said.
Luka nodded in agreement. "We have a lot to do in the meantime. It will go by in a flash, and before we know it our baby will be here," he said, taking Abby in his arms.
Luka and Abby found themselves waiting outside an office again about a half hour later, this time waiting to speak to Kerry. Luka had finally let Abby put the ultrasound picture safely away in her purse, but couldn't wait to look at it again once they got home.
"What did you tell her you wanted to talk to her about anyway?" Abby asked him.
"An administrative matter. She seemed kind of surprised, I haven't really been very attentive to that stuff since I became Chief."
"I just hope she's in a good mood."
"I'm sure she will be. She's going away for two weeks tomorrow, just her and Henry."
"Dr. Weaver will see you now," Kerry's secretary told them. They got up from their seats and proceeded into Kerry's office, where she was sitting behind her desk, with paperwork and charts stacked up on both sides of her.
"Hi Luka," Kerry told him. "Abby, I didn't realize you would be joining us for this meeting."
"Well, it concerns her," Luka said.
"Is there a problem?"
"No, no," Luka assured her. "There was just something that we wanted to speak with you about."
"Okay," Kerry said, intrigued as to what the subject could be.
"Well…" Luka began, unsure of how exactly to put things. He hesitated again.
"Dr. Kovac, I really don't have all day for this. I have a lot of things to finish up before I go on vacation tomorrow, so if you don't mind, get to the point," Kerry said in her typical authoritative voice.
"I'm pregnant," Abby told her, just getting it over with.
"Pregnant?" Kerry looked surprised. "Well, congratulations, Abby," she smiled. "I'm still not entirely sure why Dr. Kovac needs to be here for this conversation then."
Luka looked at Abby. "It's his," Abby said.
"Oh," was all Kerry said, looking even more stunned. "I'm sure you both know the hospital's policy on attendings and residents dating." Luka and Abby both nodded. "And, Luka, with you being the Chief of the ER now, that makes this even more difficult." Kerry paused, collecting her thoughts before she continued again. "But I can't fire either of you for this, obviously, and this is a unique situation since the two of you had a preexisting relationship while Abby was neither a med student nor a resident, but it is still inappropriate giving your current positions. Oh God," she said, rubbing her eyes. "I really didn't need this the day before I left for vacation."
"Sorry," Luka told her, finally speaking up.
"No, no. I'm glad you came to me with this now so we can work the details out. Does everyone in the ER know?"
"No," Abby said. "Just Neela."
"I could resign as Chief if this would makes things easier," Luka said.
Kerry looked panicked. "God, no! It took us long enough to find a competent Chief after Susan Lewis left." She sighed. "Okay, this is what we are going to do. Abby, you can still present your patients to Luka or any other attending, but Luka, you are no longer going to be involved in the process of evaluating Abby's job performance, is that understood?"
Luka nodded. "I also expect you to keep your personal life out of the workplace. Is that understood?" They both nodded in agreement this time. "Okay, good. Then this shouldn't be a problem."
"It won't be," Luka assured her.
"I hope so," Kerry said. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I have a lot of things to finish before I take Henry to Disney World tomorrow."
Abby and Luka got up. "Have a good time, Dr. Weaver," Abby said.
"Thanks, I will. And congratulations," she said with a smile as the couple left the office.
Luka and Abby walked out of the hospital, relieved that the meeting was over. "Well, that could have been much, much worse," Abby said.
"See? I told you she wouldn't be unreasonable about it."
"I'm just glad you're right and she didn't fire both of us on the spot."
Luka just laughed as they walked through the ER. Neela spotted them and walked over. "Hi guys, what are you doing here? I thought you both had the day off."
"We do, we just had a meeting upstairs with Weaver," Abby said.
"Ohhh… How did that go?"
"Better than expected," Abby told Neela.
"That's good. And how was your um…your other appointment?" Neela asked, looking around at their coworkers.
Both Luka and Abby smiled. "It was good," Abby said, looking at Luka. "The doctor said everything looked just fine."
"Oh, that's great!"
"Neela, we need you, two MVAs rolling up," Ray called to her.
"I've got to go, I'll see you both tomorrow," Neela told them as she ran out into the ambulance bay.
"When do you think we should tell everyone?" Luka asked her.
"I don't know… How about we wait until the second trimester? Just in case something goes wrong, I don't want everyone knowing."
"Nothing's going
to wrong, Abby," Luka assured her.
"I know… But
let's just wait, okay?"
"Sure," Luka agreed as they walked to his car and headed home.
Abby was falling asleep on the couch with her head in Luka's lap. He was holding the ultrasound picture once again, looking at it for the millionth time since they had gotten home from the hospital.
"Luka, you are going to wear that picture out," Abby told him sleepily.
He smiled and stroked her hair. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving."
"What do you want to eat."
"Anything, as long as it's not from that Thai place."
Luka laughed. "Are you never going to let that go? That was almost five years ago!"
"I would, but I'm pretty sure they served us cat instead of chicken," Abby said without opening her eyes.
"It wasn't that bad," Luka told her.
"Sure, you weren't the one puking all night."
"Yeah, but I held your hair back as you threw up into the toilet, didn't I?"
"Haha," Abby said, looking up at him. She took the photo from him and studied it herself. She outlined the baby's small form on the picture again and again and marveled to herself once again that that was her baby she was looking at. "Luka?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you happy?" she asked him.
"Yes," he replied, seriously. "I'm happier than I have been in a long time. Maybe since just before the war. You've given me a second chance at life, and I wouldn't change a thing because maybe then we wouldn't be where we are now."
Abby smiled at this and he leaned down to kiss her. "You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," Abby replied, basking in the comfort and safety of their home and this moment.