Disclaimer: hope you like the last chap!
Yomiko the Hellbunny Slayer: Parodies, Mmmmm! (Starts dribbling). Author sees Beanie baby. 'BEANIE BABY!'
Cairo Station Parody
MC, thanks to the way the game was programmed, appeared outside the Command area.
"Dammit! Hood had some high quality crack in there!" complained MC
"Come on Chief! We've got to defend the station from the Covvies!" said a passing Marine
"Fuck you!" yelled MC, walking down the stairs and grabbing two SMGs and a BR55 "I take orders from no one!"
"MC, get to that weird computery place where I set my 50 cal. up, double time!" ordered Johnson
"Yes Master" replied MC
The group of Marines and MC entered the computery place and Johnson set up the 50 cal. the Marines and MC take cover. The door started to glow orange.
"Feel the fire on that door!" said Johnson. A Marine was warming marshmallows using the heat from the door.
"Point out the bloody obvious!" countered MC
"Hey, who has the 50 cal. here?" pointed out Johnson, pointing the gun at MC
"Point taken" replied MC. Just then, the doors exploded and Gangsta Grunts and Elvish Elites stepped through.
"We is Gansgstas!" yelled the Grunts
"We can live forever! We can live forever! We can live forever!" sang the Elites. MC shot a Blue Elite dead. The Elites looked at the corpse.
"Shit" said one.
"You killed me bitch!" protested a Grunt.
The Chief and the Marines massacred the Elites and Grunts in a bloody bloodbath. Nasty.
The MC and the Marines moved into another Hanger. Two Gangsta Grunts manned two Plasma Turrets.
"You is going down, Greenie!" yelled a Grunt. The MC shot the Grunt and the Grunts arm fell off.
"You shot me fucking arm off!" complained the Grunt.
MC shot its other off.
"You bastard! You shot me other arm off!"
MC shot both the Grunts legs off. The MC waited for a few minutes. Silence. The MC sighed in relief. The MC looked around, and saw mangled corpses of Covenant surrounding him.
"Dammit! I missed all the fun!" complained the MC
"There there, don't cry!" mocked a Marine. The MC threw the Marine a Helluva far.
The Marines and Chief looked out at the Malta and Athens. They both exploded. 'Ooooh, pretty!' said one Marine.
"Chief, Cortana, find that bomb with the weird spikes and blow up a cruiser with it" ordered Hood.
"How do you know that the bomb has spikes all over it?" asked Cortana.
"No reason" replied Hood.
"And how do you know we would blow up a cruiser with it?"
"JUST GO A BLOW THE FUCKING CRIUSER UP WITH THE SPIKY BOMB SO THAT I CAN SAY 'OOOOH PRETTY!" yelled Hood
"Eeeerrr… ookaaay" said Cortana.
Throughout the enter conversation, MC was dribbling and unconscious. Cortana woke him up.
"Chief, we have to go and blow up a cruiser with a spiky bomb thing so Hood can say 'ooooh pretty!' said Cortana
"Okay" replied MC
"By the way, you were dribbling" stated Cortana
"My secret shame!" said MC in a small voice.
MC walked down some stairs, through some doors, and into a squad of Gangsta Grunts and Elvish Elites. The MC killed the Grunts painfully.
"We must travel to Mordor and cast the one Ring into MT. Doom!" said the Elite.
"Not today" said MC, ripping the Elites head off.
The MC killed the Elvish Elites under the Armoury. MC heard Guns shout:
"Get away from me crack, ya bitches!" he squealed. Literately. Guns was shot dead by two Elites. The Elites started to smoke the crack and speak in Elvish.
"CRAAACK!" yelled the MC, running up the stairs and ripping the Elites heads off.
"That was fun!" said the MC, psychotically.
The rest of the journey to the spiky bomb was uneventful, apart from a few Elvish Elites attempted to get the MC to take the one Ring to MT. Doom and Gangsta Grunts trying to sell drugs to the MC.
Eventually, the MC reached the spiky bomb. Cortana stopped the annoying whining noise the bomb was making by feeding it some dog food.
"Nice hairdo" admired the Chief
"Thanks!" said the bomb. The MC went into a coma from the shock of the bomb talking to him and started to dribble. Eventually, he awoke.
"Your dribbling again" said Cortana
"Dammit! I hate it when you tell everyone my secret shame!"
"It's a bit to late for that, I've posted images and even footage of you dribbling on several popular websites. Congratulations! Over 10 million hits so far!" said Cortana
In his rage, MC took the bomb to the lift.
"I know what your doing and I think its crazy" Cortana said to the Chief
"Fuck you!" said MC
"Lucky for us, I like crazy" said Cortana
MC stared at an unanimous carbon rod in shock.
"I'm never talking to you again" replied MC
The MC dragged the bomb to the Hanger. He pressed some buttons and the bomb and the MC flew out.
"Weeeee!" screamed the MC
The MC went into a Covenant ships reactor via a convenient hole that had a huge neon sign saying 'shoot here!', which was ignored by the Human fleet. The MC armed the bomb and flew out. The ship exploded.
Onboard the Cairo Station…
Hood watched the Covenant ship explode in a huge blue plasma explosion.
"Ooooh pretty!" he said
In outer space…
The MC hit the Scantilyclad with a noise that is produced when an objects hits another object. Yeah. I'm smart!
"For a brick, he flew pretty good… although I have never seen a brick fly, so I don't know if he… oh no, now I'm impotent" stated Johnson.
"Chief, get in! we're taking this fight to the surface and stop Johnson touching me" said Keyes.
The Scantilyclad swooped down to Earth like a bird.
Disclaimer: how you like that? Sorry the jokes got a little boring at the end! Not much material. Please can you make suggestions in your reviews!