Disclaimer: What?

Oh yeah

I haven't done anymore writing for a while due to;

Exams (Nooo, don't mention the cursed word!)

When I first started writing, I was racing against my friend. I won by about 35000 words. I had a lot of 'drive', which got me writing. Sadly, though, this 'drive' disappeared and so I could not be bothered to write.

I will now, try to write some more, although it will take a while.

Arbiter and the Sacred Icon

(Arthur and the Holy Grail rip-off)

The Armbiter, being bored, was 'called' to see the Prophets on some 'sacred errand'. As a matter of fact, the Armbiter was at the end of a corridor that led to the Prophets sanctum place. As the Armbiter walked to the ridiculously huge doors, he could see that the Brutes were stealing the Honour Guards ridiculously small staffs that looked as if they were meant to poke their enemies to death.

The Armbiter passed a pair of Brutes fighting over a Honour Guards head piece, even though there were plenty of the hats on the floor. The Brutes were busy bitch slapping each other. When the Arbiter neared them, the Brutes stopped in mid-slap and stared at the Armbiter.

The Armbiter stared back

Again, the Brutes stared back

And well, you should get the picture.

Anyways five minutes passed, then ten and finally 16:27 minutes/seconds later, the Armbiter continued on his journey. The Brutes resumed. The Armbiter passed two Elites and entered the sanctum. There he saw the Ultra Elite from before, speaking with the Prophets.

"This is outrageous, messed up, totally… gay" the Ultra Elite complained.

"Now, Lippy, er I mean Ultra Elite Guy, a Prophet has been 0wn3d by the totally EVIL Demon. So, we have to get rid, I mean 'change' the guards, cos' you Elites are crap"

"What are you insinuating?" Ultra Elite Guy, or UEG, asked angrily.

"Insunu..? insanu…?…eh?" spluttered Truth.

"There's nothing in the dictionary" said Mercy, flicking through a dictionary.

UEG sighed.

"What are you implying?" repeated UEG.

"Implu…? Impla…?…eh?" repeated Truth

"Nope, can't find it" repeated Mercy, throwing the dictionary down, and throwing a Plasma Grenade at it.

"Look, why don't I just walk away with my two n00b Elites and talk to the Council" Explained UEG.

"I'm cool with that" said Truth.

"Burn BURN! Meheheheh!" yelled Mercy.

UEG and his posse walk away. As UEG walked passed the Arbiter, a nerve in his neck made UEG nod his head spastically. The Armiter, thinking this was some sort of Honour thing, copy'd UEG's gesture. The next day, all the Elites were spastically nodding at each other and there was even a bank holiday made in its honour. The Grunts tried to join in, but they snapped their necks.

The Armbiter walked up to the Prophets.

"Armbiter, when the Demon destroyed the Sacred Ring, Mercy and I were so upset, we went through a whole box of tissues..

"…King size…" interjected Mercy.

"…Yes, king size" finished Truth.

"Are you going to blame me again for that? I told you, I was on the toilet when the Sacred Ring blew up! I had terrible diarrhoea" complained the Armbiter.

(Ignoring Armbiter's outburst) "After carefully concentrating at the Covenant Galaxy Map, Mercy and I found another Sacred Ring just off the M90, next to the 'daily diner'" (not actual diner, made up)

"I hear they do great Cheeseburgers there" commented the Armbiter.

"Amen to that!" exclaimed Mercy.

"For long we have searched for an 'Oracle'" said Truth.

"Like the one from the Matrix?" asked the Armbiter.

"No, she went on about 'The Machines' and candy" explained Mercy.

"Nay, with your help we found an Oracle that wasn't obsessed with candy, and here he is" said Truth, and 343Guilty Spark appeared.

"With considerable torture- er 'interrogation', we learnt of the 'Sacred Icon', but not of its location. How do we find it?" pondered Truth.

"Have you tried behind the Covenants Holy Fridge?" asked the Armbiter, looking at the Holy Covenant Fridge. Truth followed his gaze.

"Yeh, it wasn't there, though Mercy found a 1 pound/dollar/yen/euro" said Truth. "Anyway, you must find it, cos' I and Mercy are tired from our nap"

We fade out and then back in and see a Phantom flying towards Halo. In the background, the 'daily diner' can be seen. Onboard, the Armbiter and Tartarsuace are discussing stuff.

"Who killed Regret?" asked the Armbiter. Tartarsuace sighed. The Armbiter had asked that 50 times already. Tartarsuace looked at a Jackal that had counted how many times the Armbiter asked the question.

"How many now?"

"Erm, 5476 times"

Tartarsauce banged his head against the wall. Over the intercom he said;

"What do you think?"

"Frodo Baggins? Neo? Godzilla? Thomas the Tank Engine?" queried the Armbiter.

"No, you stupid piece of s(static)t! The Demon!"

"Where?" squealed the Armbiter, looking around.

"No, you monkey f(cow moos)ker! The Demon killed Regret!"

"Oh" said Armbiter "Err, who is Regret?"

Tartarsauce's head banging against the wall can be heard as well as the Jackal informing Tartarsauce that it was now the 5477th time that the Armbiter asked him who Regret was.

The Phantom descends onto a platform and the Armbiter falls out.

"GET THE F(beep noise)K OUT!" yelled Tartarsauce

"I have just one question!" yelled the Armbiter.

"WHAT?" yelled Tartarsauce

"Why am I here?"

"AAAGRGH!" yelled Tartarsauce. The Jackal can be heard informing Tartarsauce that it was now the 5382nd time that the Armbiter had asked why he was there.

The Phantom flew away.

The Armbiter stared blankly into space. Then an Enforcer hovered up over the platform.

"Hello, I am an Enforcer, I want to be your friend!" said the Enforcer.

"Nooooo!" yelled the Armbiter. Then the Phantom crashed into the Enforcer.

"That was lucky!" said the Armbiter.

"That's more than lucky!" said the annoying guy from that annoying insurance advert. (You have to live in Britain to appreciate that joke).

The Armbiter kicked the guy off the platform and went straight into hallucinogenic fit, and drooled.

Disclaimer: Well, that was good. review. it will take a while to write more. see you then!