A/N- This is kind of short...but hey, at least I updated.
Disclaimer: Different by Acceptance does not belong to me. It's a good song though.
Chapter 12"Michael, what the hell happened?" Lilly screamed. I refused to answer her. Instead, I pushed her aside, opened the door to my apartment and slammed it shut behind me. I knew she wanted answers. Hell, I wanted them too. But I sure wasn't in the mood to give the ones that she wanted.
I should have known. Mia deserved better than what I gave her. She deserved so much more. I was a bastard for what I did.
In truth, I didn't even like Lacy that much. After I broke up with Mia, I intended to pursue the relationship with Lacy further, but I couldn't. She couldn't hold up her end of an insightful conversation the way Mia could. She barely showed up to any of Skinner Box's gigs, and she hated Star Wars.
I felt like total shit for leaving Mia high and dry like that. And I felt even worse when Lilly told me she barely got any sleep and cried everyday because of me.
When I first came onto the show, I didn't expect to fall in love, much less fall in love with the same girl all over again. And now that it happened, I finally realized the horror that I put her through.
Maybe this is my payback. Maybe this is karma working its bite-you-in-the-ass brand of cosmic magic.
I threw my bags on the couch and went to my room to throw myself onto my bed.
Then I did the last thing I would ever do in public.
I grabbed a pillow, brought it to my face and wept.
"Wake up," Julia said coldly as she shook my sleeping form and ripped open the curtains. "You've gotta answer a few questions."
I sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes. "I thought the TV people left."
"They did. You've gotta answer some of my questions."
My eyes were red and puffy from crying all night. The evening before was probably one of the worst in my life.
After finding out that Michael cheated on me, I announced that Dennis Leedy was my new royal escort. When he came to accept me and the check, or just reject me and take the check, he did the latter. As he walked away to his room to pack his things and leave, I felt the eyes of the entire nation on me. I was so embarrassed. People who I barely knew were patting me on the back and consoling me with pity-filled eyes.
If there's one thing I hate, it's being pitied.
Maybe I deserved it. Maybe this was karma paying me back for rejecting Michael.
He hadn't even stayed the whole evening. As soon as I announced Dennis as my new Royal Escort, he ran off.
Now Julia was pissed at me and I had no idea why. When the ball was finally over, she screamed at me for at least a half hour about how much of an idiot I was. I knew that she liked Michael and couldn't stand Dennis, but I could never figure out why.
Julia sat down on the end of the bed and glared at me. "Why did you choose Dennis? What have I been telling you for the past four weeks? What has Dennis ever done for you?"
I took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eye so she knew I was telling her the truth. "I know you didn't like Dennis. I know you think I deserved what I got, but goddamn it, Julia, don't you think I've gone through enough?" I whispered as tears began to well in the pits of my eyes.
"Mia, it's always been about you!" Julia screamed. "You've always been so obsessed with yourself that you've been blinded to everything that's around you! Look around for once! Have you ever thought that you're not the only one suffering?"
I brought my teary gaze to her and found that she was crying too. "Dennis raped me, Mia," she confessed and the tears just began to flow even harder. "He raped me, the goddamn bastard raped me!"
I was shocked beyond words. I crawled over to the end of the bed where she was sitting and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "Shhhh," I whispered softly as she erupted into a fresh wave of sobs. "It's okay, I'm here, don't worry."
We sat like that for almost an hour while she cried. When she was done, she wiped her eyes and I gazed at her. "How did it happen?" I asked carefully.
After sobbing so much, she was hiccupping. "I was going to my quarters, about to get ready for bed," she began, "when he found me walking down the hall. Already I was kind of wary of him because he grabbed my ass the day before." She took a deep shuddering breath and continued. "He started stroking my arm and kissing me on the cheek, whispering suggestive scenarios in my ear. I was disgusted and tried to shove him away, but…" She trailed off.
"But what?" I asked, urging her to continue.
"He was too strong!" She wailed. "Then he dragged me into an empty bedroom and…and…."
I started to get alarmed. "Oh, Julia," I sighed as I hugged her. She buried her head in my shoulder and cried again. "Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered into her hair.
"I was so ashamed," She murmured. "I didn't want the whole palace to think I was a total pushover. I didn't think anyone would believe me!"
"Are you alright?" I asked as she pulled away.
"Physically, yes. I went to the doctor's the next day and they told me that I was fine."
"Are you gonna be okay?" I asked.
She understood the connotation to my words and shrugged. "I guess. Wounds heal with time, right?"
I shook my head. "Oh, sweetie…look, if it helps, you can tell me anything, alright? And I want you to know right now, that none of this was your fault."
She gave me a wobbly smile and wiped her eyes. "Thanks, Mia."
I smiled back and squeezed her hand. "No problem."
She got up and was about to leave me room, when she stopped, pulled something out of her pocket and threw it on my bed. "Oh, Michael left this in his room with a note on it." And she walked out.
Curiously, I took the object and found it was an audiotape. I opened it and found a folded up piece of paper.
Dear Mia,
If you're reading this, then either you somehow forgave me and chose me and we're sailing along happily in the Mediterranean and we're telling how much we love each other, or you chose Dennis and Julia found this while they were cleaning out my room. Either way, you're reading this.
I chuckled. Michael somehow always found a way to make me laugh, regardless of the circumstances between us.
Anyway, I wrote this song for you while I was here. I couldn't express my feelings in just words, so I had to put it in a song. I'm so sorry. And I love, Mia Thermopolis. I've always loved you and I always will.
Love,
MichaelI pulled the tape out and glanced at it curiously. Getting out of bed, I walked to my stereo, stuck it in the tape player and pushed play.
The beginning of the song was just a guitar melody. A floaty, mellow tune that made me feel comfortable and dreamy. After a few seconds of guitar, Michael's soft voice began to sing.
Tell myself, on the ride home,
Getting tired, hating all I've known,
Holding on, like it's all I have,
Count me out, when it's clear that…
I find it hard to say,
And you, find it hard to care.
I wanted to see,
Something that's different,
Something you said would change in me,
Wanted to be,
Anything different
Everything you would change in me.
I've got this way,
Up front but never true,
God, I'm wrong,
It's just the way I am,
Crashing down,
Any chance that you…
Could see inside of me,
I'll know what to say,
It's fine, this isn't Hollywood
So fine, getting in your way.
I wanted to see,
Something that's different,
Something you said would change in me,
Wanted to be,
Anything different,
Everything you would change in me.
I'm taking a chance,
This could be different,
This could be all I'm waiting for,
Taking a chance,
This could be different,
This could be all I'm waiting for.
I wanted to see,
Something that's different,
Something you said would change in me,
Wanted to be,
Anything different,
Everything you would change in me…
The song ended as the guitar began to play softer and trailed off as the sound dissolved intoa figurativemist.
I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt a small teardrop land on my hand.
I knew what I had to do now.
"Julia!" I screamed as I ran into my bathroom. "Book me a flight to New York for tomorrow!"
A/N- Wow, you were all so pissed at Mia...if it had been me, I would have been angry at Michael, but all of you seemed to be on Michael's side...interesting...
Anyways, next chapter's probably the last, and it's gonna be a long one. There may be an epilogue if you guys give me enough reviews.