A/N: Moif Fourth chapter! HAPPI DANCE!

Disclaimer: I do not own FmA.

Chapter Four and College Days

Ed hopped off the bus and stared at the campus. It was his new home, well at least for two years. He took a second to take in the scent of this new place that was untill he was shoved on the ground and trampled by da big mean ten year olds. "HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'!" he shouted. The kids stared at him and stuck their toungues out at him and ran off. Ed chased them around the campus for a little bit. "COME BACK HERE!" he yelled to them. Sad, isn't it? A nineteen year old boy loosing to ten year olds. What a way to startout the year.

Soon enough, Ed felt a hand restrain him from murdering the poor kids. He turned his head around to see Winry. "Edo, don't kill kids just because they are stronger than you!" she mocked.Ed glared at her, "THEY started it!"

The kids looked at them in disbeleif, "She your girlfriend or somethin'?"

"Asa matter of fact--" Ed was cut off by a hand, smacking against his face, "SHADDUP!" Winry shouted.

Ed rubbed his cheek. "Ow! What was THAT for!" he cried.

"For...being...stupid!" She said, scratching her head, thinking.

"That's not a good reason!"

"Shut up!"

Roy and Riza jumped off the bus behind them, laughing softly at the other two people.

"They need to just get drunk and admit they love each other." Roy said, watching them fight. Riza put her arms around Roy's shoulders and leaned her head on... his...shoulder.

"Yeah." She said. Roy smiled and kissed her cheek.

"EWW. LOVE." Ed spat at them.

"Shut up, Ed! It's sweet!" Winry hit him in the head with a wrench.

Unfortunatley, Winry had hit Ed a little too hard with her wrench, knocking him unconsious. And being in that unconsious state, he couldn't stay standing up, so he fell...on Winry. Which looked very odd to passerbys who just stared at them.

Then, out of no where in particular, Denny and Maria showed up, however, they had just come back from their ass transplants and it hurt to sit. They walked up to the group and staredat the two. Winry was struggling to get up and Ed, well, being unconsious, just put more stress on her. HAR. Then everyone began to wonder, "Where is Al?"

In the distance came a rumbleing noise. This noise grew louder and louder until...

"It's a car! It's a train! No...it's...a...guy rideing a giant cat?" A random fat guy said.

"HOLY FISHSTICKS! IT'S AL!" Denny shouted. Riza took charge and pushed the random fat guy aside, somehow.

"Out of the way, random fat guy. Best leave this in the hands of the military." She pulled a gun out of nowhere and pointed it at Al.

"Whoa, whoa! Riza! Put the gun away! The rest of the-wait, you're not in the military! What the crap!" Roy said.

"Oh yeah. Uh...I don't-" She was cut off. A bodyguard guy attacked her and pried the gun out of her hand.

"WEAPON ALERT! WEAPON ALERT! TERRORIST ON CAMPUS!" The bodyguard shouted into his walkie-talkie.

"Hey! Whoa! Dude! She's not a terrorist!" Roy ran over to the people. "She's just...uh...clinically insane."

As soon on Ed awoke, he was trampled by da kitty. And he passed out once more. As well, as Winry. Riza, whom was on the ground from the extra weight of the body guard was (unfortuanly) is Al's landing area and he stepped on her. Which probably would of hurt if I was Riza. "What'd I miss?" he asked.

Roy looked around. "Uhhh..." half the campus was on fire, "Not much?"

"Oh." Al said, getting off the kitty. It then ran into the burning hell-flames of the campus.

"RAMMSTEIN THE SECOND! NUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Al sobbed. "COME BACK TO MEEEEEE!"

The kitty then spontaneously burst into flames, like everything else around there right now.But no one seemed to notice because I fear they may need glasses. But, they would not get glasses because they didn't want to look like a certain someone HINTHINTWINKWINKNUDGENUDGE.

Then, the flames were put out by...well...nothing, actually. And everything was renewed back to normal. Except kitty. Kitty was now a rotting deam corpse! The best toy for children!

Ed awoke as well as Winry, "Oh ho ho...quite a questionable position, we are in. Eh Winry? WANNA MAKE IT MORE QUESTIONABLE...EH?"

Then everyone noticed something,"HOLY CRAP!" Denny shouted, "ED'S CANADIAN!"

Everyone gasped,"NO! IMPOSSIBLE! IT. CAN'T. BE!"

"Oh but it can!"

"Oh but it can't!"

"Oh but it can!"

"Oh but it can't!"

"Oh but it can!"

"Oh but it...WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING?"

"We are...'oh but'ing?"

Riza butted in with her...butting-in ness.

"Hello? A little help here would be nice!" She yelled at the 'oh but' ing people.

"Oh, right." Roy took out a random gun and shot the bodyguard. He died. Roy kicked him off of Riza. You are sexy.

Riza smiled and jumped up. "Yay for not haveing a bodyguard on top of me!"

"Yay for guns!" Roy said.

"Yay for kitties!" Al said. Then he was attacked by dumplings but nobody seemed to know or care.

"Yay for Canada!" Ed said, waveing a little Canadian flag.

"Yay for wrenches!" Winry said, hitting Ed with the wrench again.

"Yay for unconsiousness!" Ed said, going unconcious again.

In a few hours, all was well as well as well could go...I guess. Ed woke up two hours earlier to an empty campus because apparently, everyone had forgotten him or maybe they didn't want to tell him that Canada was attacked by those damned Jellybeans! ANYWAYS...

Winry sat in her dorm room, setting everything up. They wouldn't have classes today because I said so. While she was aranging her third of the room, a doggie ran in and jumped on her, licking her face which disturbed her because earlier, she saw this exact dog eat Al's rotting cat. Riza walked in and said, "Come here Hayate!" The doggiekins trotted over to her.

"Don't you already have a dog named Hayate?" Winry questioned.

"Yes, but I got bored of him when I found this SEX BEAST!" she shouted, raising the dog like that one monkey guy on the lion king did with baby Simba.

Winry sweatdropped. "Right. Well, now that I'm fresh, unpacked, and covered in partially digested corpse goo, I feel that it's time for to me to take a bath."

Riza got a NAUGHTY look on her face. "I feel like I need to take a bath, too..."

The same look appeared on Winry's face and the two women moved over to eachother. They hastily undressed themselves and fell into the bed, haveing hot, random, college-lesbian sex.

Then, Roy woke up.

Roy sat up and studied the area he was in.It was a room. With two beds and it was scary and white all over the place. He tried to think back to what room Winry, Riza and Maria were sharing. Second floor, room 247. He crawled out of his dorm room and down the hall to the Window. The girls dormitory was across from the boys dormitory so if you looked out the hallway windows, you could look into the girls dorm rooms. Roy took this as his chance to find where the girls were staying. He took out binoculars randomly from his pocket and began to search. His eyes landed on something horrible. Something you would burn your eyes if you saw.

Yes...

it was...

If you guessed Shezka taking a shower with an old man, you were correct. It was enough to make a guy kill himself, it was so horrid.

Ed and Denny were walking by to see Roy in a fetal position. "What's wrong, Roy?" Denny asked.

"Take my binoculars...look at the fourth window of the girls dormitory on the leftand you'll know why."

They did as he was told and screamed, "EGADS! I never wanna see a naked old man doing THAT EVER EVER AGAIN! THANKS FOR POISONING MAH MIND, ROY!" Ed and Denny shouted.

"It's not so much the old man...it is...the woman..."

Just then, Riza came out of the random bathroom in her cheerleading uniform. It was white and orange of course, because white and orange are purty. The uniform consisted of a sleeveless top with the Central Amestris University logo on it, some white sh00z, and...a...miniskirt.

Roy was on the ground in the fetal position with his eyes closed and sucking him thub, of course, so he could not see the hotness that was before him.

Denny spotted Riza and kicked Roy in da hurtful spot. Action Roy jumped into well...action and began to beat Denny over the head with a random guy who walked by.Denny, then picked up another random guy and began to beat Roy with him. Ed just stared and walked away thinking, 'I wonder what Winry's up to..'

They Denny bitch slapped Roy and pointed to Riza, Roy looked over. She was turning a corner, Roy chased after her and got ahead of her, tripped her and watched ehr skirt gop FOOSH! in the wind. He attempted to keep her skirt up by well...holding her skirt up.But Riza turned around and smacked him. "HAYATE! SICK 'IM!" she shouted, and out of no where, Her new dog broke throught the glass and lached onto Roy's head like a leech. "I love you Roy. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! HA HA HA!" Riza maniacle laughter rang thought the campus, frightening everyone into their closets, with their girlfriends, of course.

Ed somehow wound up in a closet with Denny. Denny thought that Ed was Maria and made a sad attempt to kiss her, but wound up kissing air.

"Wow, Maria, when did you get that short?" He said naively.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE CELL SO SMALL HE LIVES IN A BEAN BECAUSE HE IS ONE!" Ed knocked down the door and hit Denny over the head with it, somehow.

"MARIA! WHEN DID YOU GET SO AGRESSIVE! I LIKE IT!" Stupid!Denny shouted, as he made another attempt to kiss Ed.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT ALREADY!" Ed shouted, "I'M NOT MARIA!"

"IMPOSTERERER!" Denny spat at him as they began to catfight in the closet, which sounded VERY peculiar to everyone else who was within hearing range. The sound of the bumping and moans of pain were the one that hit the poor people the most.

Roy however, was not having it good either, Hayate was still latched onto his head and chewing hard enough to make his head go SPLODEY. FUN!

Suddenly, aliens came from space and turned everyone into hams. But that was just a movie I saw in a dream last night. In reality of the FMA college world, everyone suddenly fell asleep because the Witching Hour came. Some of the evil things raped Riza and Winry randomly, because they're hawt.

Wow. This chapter came fast! Hope you enjoyed our...odd...ness...

-Chibeh and Cleanie

Wing Omega: There, we put Shezka in the fic. Have a bloody day