A/N: This chapter has Christmas joy seeping in it. Locve it or die.

Disclaimer: We only own THE BURNING HELL MONKEYS!

WE MADE FUN OF YOUR GOD AND YOUR JESUS...again...

Chapter 7 and Christmas

Winry sneezed from the feeling of being watched. She looked around, there was nothing but Denny, Riza, Maria, Riza, Roy and all those other people.

"Now that we have no transportation, how shall we get to Vegas?" Roy asked.

Ed randomly took out a hot pink cellphone with bunnies on it! "OMG I'LL CALL JEBUS!" he shouted and then began to dial. Everyone began to wonder stuff about things.

It took Ed a total of five hours to punch in all the numbers of the alphabet, yes, there are numbers in the alphabet. Finnaly, he got hold of Jesus. "Okay. Yeah...This is Ed...okay...NO I WILL NOT!... we need help...okay, no...yes...okay..." he hung up soon, "Okay, Jesus will figure something out." No one listened. Ed was sad.

Jesus arrived soon enough and said, "I wasn't really going to come but, I felt bad for HURTING THY NEIGHBOR IN CHAPTER THREE! So, you will all hitchike with a very obese hippo."

everybody jumped on the random Jesus-hippo and flew on a magical rainbow of elves to Narn-IMEANVEGAS. When they got there it was suddenly Christmas so Jesus started danceing around singing 'It's mah BIRTHDAY! It's mah BIRTHDAY! Go me! GO ME!' And got really drunk off some kinda stuff that was apparently alchoholic. ed beat him up for holding out on him.

Out of no where, Takkie (one of the writers FOOLZ) jumped off a cliff and landed on Jesus "WOW! YOU GOTTA BIIIIIGGG HEEEADD! O" She then stole all of Winrr's clothes and shouted,"EBAY!" and ran away to her 'happy place'. Winry stold Ed's clothes and put them on herself, then Ed got the pride and joy of running araound screaming, "NAKKIIIEEE TIIIMMMEE!" But luckily for them, nudity is censored.

The guards of DOOM came and arrested Ed for indecent exposure. But one of the guards was an Ed fangirl so she stole him and dragged him to her hotel room where she RAPED HIM! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Meanwhile, Roy and Riza were making out. YAY!

Then, randomly,it began to rain condoms...Condoms that smelt of Christmas pee...yes, PEE, HAVEN'T YOU EVER PEED ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE BEFORE?...Don't question me. Then, Al was revived and he and Winry danced while the condoms rained down. Denny and Maria took this as their cue and ran off to the SexAMaCoaster! The newest ride at disneyland.

Then everyone went cannibal and ate Jesus.

Jesus cried because he's wimpy like that, not cool like Satan.

Roy and Riza were then arrested f or making out in public and were thrown into the same jail cell, a bad call on the people's part because they started fucking. Oooooooooh dear.

In conclusion, everybody was having sex as a Christmas present. Yeah, even Denny. YAY!

Then, a timebeast came and devoured everyone, sending them back in time before they got on the hippo.

"YAY! I AM NOT BEING RAPPED BY FANGIRLS!" Ed shouted. "I HAVE NOT BEEN DEFLOWERED!" he then did a little dance, people watched and put pennies up Ed's nose. Why? ...Because he has a big nose, that's why.

Denny cried. "SHIT! DO I HAVE TO BE A VIRGIN FOREVER!" He sobbed.

"Yup." Roy said.

"That's not your call."

"so?"

"MARIAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Yes, Denny?"

"DO I HAVE TO BE A VIRGIN FOREVER!"

"Depends on how drunk I get."

Everyone stood there for a while before deciding that the hippo looked like Havoc. So they all hopped on him HAPPI! The hippo took them to a magicall land called "Girls, Girls, Girls" where the ladies all became hawt strippers because Jesus told them to. The guys all got bored so they went in drag to become strippers.

When Denny saw Maria in all her stripper glory, all the men at the place got a good show because Denny finally lost his virginity on the little table and they all thoucht they were lesbians.

When a guy put money in Riza's panties, Mr. Overprotective-Roy-Man punched him out and they started catfighting. Only since they were both men, I guess they were dogfighting.

Jesus was in the back room, making out with God. Takkie and Mr. Clean were going to hell for writing this fic.

A/N: That was...awkward. Yes, I are sorry for the long wait, but we have LIVES. And I wrote more crap. :D HAPPI.

NOW REVEIW, and yes me and Ari are satanic...and stuff.

-Chibeh-