Well, here we are on chapter 2 of Gaz Warz. And I still have no idea why I named it that. Perhaps I'll get a clue while typing this chapter up.

An OC is introduced in this chapter, but his sole purpose is to get Gaz into bed, and he is an sacrificial character. Besides, Gaz is smarter than that.

Warnings: More swearing. And next chapter is a Human Reproduction Video, like in health class.

I just now realized I hadn't put a disclaimer in! So, I am claiming nothing except the OC named Lex, who's ego could match Zim's. Actually, I really don't want Lex... he's so, so...sexist.

Oh, and I did make the whole hierarchy thing up, although it is stated in the show that the Irken Empire is based on the Tallest ones.

"Talking" Thinking 000000 scene changes

Enjoy!

/Chapter Two: Egos Galore/

Zim plotted, and planned. He schemed for hours on end...

"ZIM! Pay attention!"

...in the classroom. The alien winced slightly as a piece of chalk came flying at his head. The teacher, a fat, sweaty male of the human population, glared at him while scribbling something on a pad of paper. Dib, on the other side of the room, snickered.

"Now Zim, repeat what I just told the class about!" The teacher and students all regarded Zim as one, with ever single one of their filthy human eyes trained on him, waiting for a response.

Zim, now realizing the true horror of schizophrenia, twitched and accessed his memory camera. Over the years, Zim had found that planting a camera for viewing later was a smart idea, as he often was caught in class ignoring the teacher. Then, by quickly and discreetly pressing a few buttons, his human eye contact would show him what had happened in the last few moments, and a microphone in his ear would record/play back whatever the teacher had said to the pupils.

"Class...tomorrow you will be watching a video that explains human reproduction," Zim repeated after the recording. Skipping over the few groans he heard, the alien continued: "This will go over the hormones, the birth of a baby, and of course, sexual intercourse."

The teacher blinked, not expecting the kid to answer so...accurately. Nodding his head, he continued to lecture the class on something as Zim wiped a few drops of Irken sweat off his forehead. What was that again? Hormones? Baby birth? Sexual intercourse? What were these terms! He quickly wrote a note on his paper, reminding himself to research those things at home. Now, to get back to plotting, and planning, and scheming...

Allowing his mind to fall into a trance of sorts, Zim went through a few ways he could get Gaz to notice him.

1) Command her attention

2) Sit with her at lunch

3) Give her something she wants

After debating for a while, he decided that option 2 was the best one, although #1 seemed like a good idea as well. Very well, sitting with her at their lunch period was the way to go, even though Zim doubted she'd bother to realize his presence. If that was the case then he'd be forced to put his first plan in action, and do something that utterly commanded her immediate recognition.

Oh, yeah, Zim remembered, doesn't the Dib-monkey sit with her though? He shrugged it off, and decided that it was worth the effort.

0000000000Lunch Time!0000000000

Gaz moved through the lunch line like she normally did: stare at the meal choices, decide nothing was safe to eat, snatch a yogurt, and then move to her table in the corner. There, she would be joined by Dib, who would eat whatever he'd packed that morning. Then, she would eat her yogurt with Dib watching, worrying that she wasn't getting enough nutrition. And the bell would ring and that would be that.

But today was different.

The purple haired youth grabbed the yogurt and moved to her table like normal, but instead of the usual empty seats, somebody was sitting there. A green-skinned, tall someone, who most of the girls in the room were sneaking glances at. Gaz blinked and moved to the table, sitting on the other side of the bench, trying to be as far away from the now attractive Zim as possible.

However, the alien didn't know how to take hints, so he just scooted closer to Gaz. She gritted her teeth and pulled the plastic top off of the yogurt, stirring the concoction with her spoon. At least once Dib gets here, Zim will wanna leave, she thought.

"So, um, Gaz-human, um, why is it that you sit here?" Zim attempted to start a conversation, which he believed would be one sided. He would speak, and Gaz would not answer. But he was wrong.

"I like it here," Gaz replied. Ack! What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be quiet! Despite that, she couldn't help but answer him. Maybe it was because she loved making the other girls (that were currently staring angrily at them) jealous? Yeah, that's why.

And we're going to let her believe that for now.

Just then Dib decided to make his grand entrance, AKA running into the cafeteria like a maniac. In his morning rush, he'd forgotten to pack, so he made his way to the lunch line and picked up a tray of harmless looking mashed potatoes, some brown stuff, and a drink of Choco Poop. Walking towards Gaz, he also realized there was an addition to the table. "Zim!" he cried, running the rest of the way to his sister.

"Yes? Is there a problem, Dib-monkey?" Zim asked innocently, a gleam in his eyes.

"OF COURSE THERE IS!" Dib screamed. "YOU'RE SITTING AT MY TABLE!"

"I see no place where your name is written on it," Zim calmly stated. Gaz couldn't help but laugh inwardly at that. For an alien, he was pretty good with comebacks.

"Leave him alone, Dib. He's fine," Gaz commanded her brother. Both alien and human turned to her, one pleased and the other pissed.

"But-"

"Now Dib, hasn't your sister made it clear that I may sit here?" Zim said smugly. Dib just glared evilly, taking a lot after his sister. And since there was no room beside her (Zim was there) he had to sit on the other side of the table.

As Dib sat down, Gaz returned to eating her yogurt. Hopefully, with Zim there, Dib wouldn't go into any of his "nutrition" rants.

Nope, too bad. He decided to bug her anyways.

"Gaz, is that all you're eating!"

"Yes." Simple answers work.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a bajillion times: You gotta eat more! I watch you every day-okay, that sounded wrong, but oh well-and you barely eat anything anymore!" It was true, Dib thought, she eats toast, yogurt, and the smallest serving possible at dinner.

"My life is not your concern, Dib." Gaz glared into her vanilla flavored food, while Zim watched the two curiously. He'd seen people argue before, but this was much better, as he could practically sense the tension in the air.

"When you start to try to starve yourself, then it becomes my concern, Gaz! You can't keep doing this to yourself, or you'll die, dammit! How do you think Dad would feel about that? Or moth-" he abruptly stopped, clasping his hands over his mouth. Zim paid close attention; this was interesting.

Gaz's hands were shaking, and the alien could see the spoon being gripped so hard it was drawing blood. "Never..." Gaz whispered, "Never... talk about mom...again." Her voice was like a cold knife, jabbing into Dib's chest. She suddenly stood up and left the cafeteria, the voices of everybody dying as she walked out, then reviving and louder than before.

Zim glanced at Dib. "What the hell was that about?"

Dib seemed more subdued than before, and as he poked his brown...eh, 'food,' he actually answered. "Gaz is kind of touchy when it comes to mom. You see, Mom died giving birth to her. So Dad went through a period of hatred towards everything, and Gaz suffered for it. That's why she hates the world, and loves video games. She finds it a way to-AHHH!" Dib overbalanced on his seat as the glob of stuff on his plate bit off the end of the spoon. The brown blob growled contentedly, while Dib turned greener than Zim. "I'm gonna go barf now," he told Zim in a wobbly voice, and sprinted out of the lunchroom.

Zim faced the blob angrily. "Damn you, he was just about to spill some good information on the Gaz-female!" The alien teen attempted to pick up the tray and throw it away, but the brown thing snapped at Zim's gloved hand. He made a girly noise, and left it on the table. "ROT TO THE END OF YOUR DAYS!" he shouted at it, but as it twitched and flopped toward him, Zim screamed and high-tailed it out of there.

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And where was Gaz through all of this nonsense? In the abandoned girls' bathroom, wrapping the cut from the spoon. And why exactly was it abandoned?

"Down, Riku," she absentmindedly told the greenish-purple mold on the walls. The first time she had discovered the bathroom, Gaz had nursed the mold, if you could call accidentallyfeeding it the leftovers from Dib's lunches nursing, and it had grown to "love" her. As creepy as it sounded, the mold was her best friend. It knew her moods, treated her better than humans, and as a result she had named it after her favorite character in a video game. Plus she still feeds it.

Riku sent a ripple of what seemed like concern through his, erm, body (for lack of a better word). She sighed and finished the wrapping.

"Nothing too bad today. Zim was sitting at our table, though. And you know what else? Zim is somewhat cool looking now. He got really tall, and he's supposed to be a leader someday. But he needs to work on his communication skills. Unless his whole race goes around shouting their names from the skies...hmmm, that would be funny..." she giggled a bit, and Riku did something akin to laughing. "But Dib was his annoying self as usual. He keeps nagging about how I'm not gonna grow up big and strong if I don't get my nutrition." Making a face, she glanced at the moldy walls. "Wow, you're getting rather large, huh?"

The mold, if it'd had a face, would have beamed in pride. She chuckled and "tickled" him. Riku laughed back, but suddenly stiffened.

Gaz turned and watched the door creak open. Her eyes widened; all of the girls knew this bathroom was off-limits, and the boys weren't allowed in anyways, so that left only one person...

"Dib?" she asked in a bored tone, her eyes going back to their normal size.

"How in the seven hells could you confuse the great Zim with that lowly earth monkey?"

Gaz screeched and flung a pencil at the door, while Zim pushed it open. "What the fuck? GET OUTTA THE GIRL'S BATHROOM!"

"No," Zim said. "I need to ask you something."

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After throwing up a few times, then dry heaving, Dib was ready to go. But as he left the men's room, he heard his name over the P.A. system.

"Dib Membrane, please report to the principal's office...repeating...Dib Membrane, please report to the principal's office..."

All of the teenagers in the immediate area laughed at his horrified expression, but he got it under control and jogged to the offices.

Bursting in the door, he went up to the secretary and asked, "Am I in trouble?" After the lady shook her head, Dib let out a sigh of relief and sat down.

"Dib, the principal will see you now," the lady said, filing her nails. Slightly nervous, he let himself into the office, where, to his surprise, another boy was sitting. He must be new, Dib thought.

The boy was about as tall as Dib, with blue hair (Dib supposed he dyed it), blue eyes, and a slightly muscular build. Dib judged him to be a jock, and he was right when he saw the boy was wearing a school team jersey.

"Dib, I'd like you to meet Lex. Lex Rose." The boy in question grimaced at his last name, but then smiled and stuck his hand out to shake. Dib, for some reason, was wary of the boy right away, but forced a grin onto his face and reached out to grasp Lex's hand. "He's new," the principal said, confirming Dib's thoughts, "and he needs shown around the school. Since you two now have the same schedules, I'm assigning you to be his guide for the day. Okayhavefunbye!" The principal pressed a button that sent the boys right back to the front entrance, where Dib sighed.

"Right then. I'm Dib Membrane. This is High Skool, where they force us to come everyday however hard we protest." Dib decided he was bored, and wanted to look for Zim. Maybe, if by dragging Lex along, Dib would finally be able to expose Zim for the alien he was! "Come with me. I've gotta find Zim and my sister."

At the mention of a girl, Lex's eyes started to twinkle. "Hmm...a sister you say?" he asked as they hurried down the corridors to the abandoned girl's room Dib knew of. He was sure that she was there.

"Yeah, sister, Gaz, shorter than us, amberish eyes, purple hair, goth, GameSlave 4 freak," Dib said distractedly. "Now, it should be around here...Aha!"

Pointing to the forbidden door proudly, Dib walked to it, but was dragged back by a fearful Lex. "But that's the girl's room," he said in a horrified voice. Dib shrugged.

"So?" he questioned as he started again toward the door.

0000000Earlier, as Dib was throwing up...00000

"I need to ask you a question."

Gaz blinked. "Um. Okay?" she sat on the floor, and patted a spot next to her. As Zim sat, Riku made some sort of growling noise, and Zim glanced around in a jittery way. Gaz secretly grinned, and muttered "Down, boy," to Riku. Zim turned to her curiously.

"The mold...it listens to you?" he asked. Gaz nodded and smiled at the greenish-purple splotches around them

"This is Riku. I fed him one day, and kept feeding him, and I just now noticed how large he was..." she felt Zim's eyes on her, and coughed to hide the slight blush forming on her face. "Anyways, he's my best friend. Was that your question?"

"No." Zim said firmly. "I have a much more important question."

"Shoot."

Zim gave her a quizzical look. "Why would I shoot you?"

Gaz sighed. "It means 'go ahead.'"

"Oh. Right. Why does the Dib believe you do not eat enough nutrition?" Gaz twitched and faced the opposite direction.

"That's...a bit of a story..."

"Well, 'shoot' as you put it." Zim was smug at the proper use of the word.

"...You'll actually listen?" she asked. The alien boy just barely detected the hint of amazement in her voice. He felt his squeedily-spooch vibrate faster, and his face softened, just a tiny bit.

"Yeah," he said, "I will."

But, of course, that was when Dib made his entry, with Lex trailing behind. At first, what he saw awed him. Zim was almost holding his younger sister, and she wasn't beating the holy shit outta him. Then, the idea of them together enraged him...

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" he shouted, making a mad dive at Zim. The alien pushed Gaz away from him and leapt out of Dib's way. The human wasn't expecting that, and landed hard on Riku, who made a moaning noise.

"RIKU!" Gaz yelled, accepting the hand Lex offered, then pushing him away in distress. "DIB! Get off of Riku, you're crushing him!"

Dib looked around, momentarily confused, until Zim whispered, "The mold, insufferable human."

Sheepishly lifting his body off of Riku, Dib walked to stand next to Lex. He watched his little sister run to the mold and pet it gently. "Shhh..." she murmured soothingly.

Dib knew that he was going to be dead at home. Gaz was giving off waves of terrible, evil, murderous anger, and Dib was sure that even Zim could feel it. "I think he'll be okay..." she said to herself. She swung around, and sure enough the pure sadistic gleam was in her eye. Dib cringed as she strode past the teenaged boys.

"Wow, she's hot," Lex muttered. "I bet I could get her to be my girlfriend in record time.." Dib, with his attention solely on Gaz, didn't hear the uttered words, but Zim did. The alien narrowed his eyes, and made a mental note to watch the boy closely, if necessary more than he watched Dib.

Gaz was going to be his earth female. No little human would stop that.

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wOOt! Zim was all possessive there for a second. You can expect more of that in the future...

And if the characters seem OOC-ish, you must remember that Zim is going through some changes, Dib must now face his sister becoming friends with his enemy, and Gaz is a female: we have mood swings, ya know. Thank you reviewers, you all flatter me

-Spazzyfries

P.S. I don't own the video game Riku is from. Kudos to the one who knows what video game he's from!

P.P.S. Yes, my teachers do throw chalk at our heads... Heh.

Next chapter should be up before X-mas. Or on X-mas, maybe I'll type it at my grandma's house.

Please leave a review!