Okay, I'm back. I apologize for being M.I.A. over the last few weeks, but with the holiday rush and my job going haywire, I haven't posted as often as I wanted to. BUT, as my early holiday gift (at least I hope it's a gift!) to all of you, I've decided to post 2 chapters today. I'm feeling good about where the story stands and these two chapters definitely deserve to go together.

This chapter (13) is unofficially titled "Jude Speaks" and the next one (14) is "Tommy Speaks...Sort Of." I'm hoping everyone likes the updates since they are my way of saying thank you for all of your kind words and incredible feedback. It's so great to come home after an exhausting day and see people reading the story and even better, liking it! You guys have all been amazing and I could never have written this without you.

So I wish you all a very happy holiday season! I do have off on Friday so you may see one more post before the weekend, but no promises...hopefully, you'll be happy regardless :-) Enjoy!

Tommy silently closed the door, making sure it was secure, and leaned back against it, feeling his palms sweat as he watched Jude gently sit on the ground with her guitar.

She plucked the strings on her guitar, trying to ignore his eyes intently staring at her. She scribbled some notes in her notebook and then looked up at him across the room. Although it was dark, she could tell he was uncomfortable—nervous, almost—which was a rare sight. He clung to the door while she clung to her guitar. She didn't know what to say but the silence was worse than awkward words, so she went to speak, finding her tone to be unexpectedly harsh.

"Can I…help you with something? Or did you just want to stand there watching me all night?"

He released himself from the door and walked towards her, sitting on the edge of her bed and putting his candle on her nightstand.

"What are you playing?"

"Just working on a song. I felt inspired for some odd reason," she said sarcastically and strummed a few chords. He sat back on the bed and sighed.

"Jude--"

"Don't. Just like last time and all the times before, don't say whatever it is that comes after my name."

Tommy rubbed his forehead and slid off the bed and onto the floor next to her. "You'll want to hear me out this time. This isn't like last time or the time before."

"And why is that? Because there were witnesses this time?" she snapped back.

He took a deep breath to calm down.

"Jude, I owe you an apology. A big one. I'm really sorry about what you heard before. It came out in a heated discussion between me and Sadie and I am so sorry that you had to hear it." She could see the genuine regret in his eyes, but his apology wasn't enough, it didn't even begin to cover what was running through her mind.

"Thanks, but there's no need to apologize for something that you meant to say, just not for me to hear," she said coolly, meeting his eyes with anger.

"What do you mean?"

"What you said—about it not meaning anything—if you meant it, then you shouldn't apologize. I should apologize for hearing something you obviously didn't want me to."

He looked down and started toying with a piece of the carpet that had become loose.

"It's not like that…" he started.

"Then how is it, Tommy? Explain it to me," she said, her hands forcefully gripping her guitar.

He shifted on the floor, feeling a huge weight on his chest knowing she was awaiting his response.

"I…I don't know what to say. I just…I'm confused. I don't know how I feel about it." Jude rolled her eyes and turned back to her guitar while he struggled for words. She stopped playing for a moment and said, "You know, you can tell me if it didn't mean anything to you. I'm pretty much an adult now and I've been rejected by you enough to handle it."

"That's not it," he said, growing frustrated. "It's complicated."

"Really? Then let me make it simple for you," she offered. "Just repeat after me, 'Jude, it didn't mean anything. I meant what I said to Sadie.' Then, we can be done with it and I can finish my song."

"I can't do that, Jude," he protested.

"Yes, you can, just say it."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because--because it isn't true!" he shouted, releasing his frustration into the room. She sat there stunned. He looked at her, her eyes sparkling in the candlelight. "It isn't true," he repeated quietly.

"It isn't?" she asked at the same volume. He shook his head silently.

"Then why did you say it?" She felt her tone calm down, regretting how ruthless she had been.

"It was an argument…I was angry, she said some things that really got to me, and it just came out. I'm really sorry."

She was speechless at his confession. She never thought she'd hear him admit to having any feelings towards her that may borderline on being more than friends.

"So…it meant something?" she asked timidly, needing to hear him say it.

He looked at her and knew at that moment that he would never get rid of the heaviness on his chest unless he gave in, even if just a little, to his true feelings.

"Yeah, it meant something," he responded softly, looking into her eyes.

The butterflies came swarming back to her stomach as she heard him mutter these words. They sat there silently gazing at each other. She wanted to lean over and kiss him but forced herself to stay in reality, as he cleared his throat, asking,

"So…you, um…you felt it too, huh?"

Jude blushed at his question. She figured it was a given that she had felt something but clearly, he needed to hear her express it too. "Umm…yeah, I felt it too," she said softly. "Although now I'm more confused than ever."

He looked at her quizzically. "How so?"

She looked down and played with her guitar pick. "Part of me is so angry with you for everything—for the denial, for telling me to forget that certain things happened, for choosing Sadie…" she added and then continued. "Part of me hates you for putting me through so many ups and downs, for making me feel something and then taking it back."

He sat reflecting on her words. "And the other part?" he asked hopefully.

"That's the really confusing part. The other part has so many voices, I don't know which one to listen to anymore. There's you, telling me one thing but then acting another. Then there's Sadie…" her voice trailed off, recalling her conversation with her sister.

He looked uncomfortable. "She told you…didn't she?"

Jude nodded. "Everything. The thing is, I don't know if she's trying to justify your breakup or if, what she was saying…if it's true," she said quietly.

"Well, what about you? You're listing these other voices, but what about your own voice?"

She thought for a moment. "You know, I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that any feelings I may have had, that they were all a lie. That nothing was real. You made your choice and it wasn't me. But then that kiss…" she stopped, searching for the words to describe it. "It was just…amazing…" she concluded softly.

He gazed back at her. "I know," he quietly agreed.

"And everything I've tried so hard to get rid of, all of those feelings, they all came rushing back and even if I wanted to stop them, I couldn't. I feel like I'm back to where I started, only now, those feelings are stronger and that part of me that hates you, doesn't really care anymore."

She finished and took a deep breath to regain composure, in disbelief at her own honesty.