Chapter 3, Yay! La la la, we…we still don't own any Hamtaro characters… we don't…

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Within the confides of Boss's dreaming mind…

"Ah, Bijou," said Boss, "Isn't it a lovely day?"

"Indeed so, Boss" Bijou replied, "a perfect day for our wedding"

"Of course!" he told her, laughing, and trying to sound fancy he said, "no one, no supernatural forces, would have such a glorious event take place in any less fine weather, my dear, as we are blessed to have it be so!"

Unfortunately there was a supernatural force that was about to ruin their lovely day.

A giant Cyclops came down from the heavens and started swinging at them with his giant mallet.

"Argh! I don't want you things to get maaaarriiied!" called the Cyclops.

Boss then dug a giant tunnel through the center of the earth where the Cyclops couldn't find and/or get them! Then Bijou and Boss got married and ate cake and ice cream with sunflower seeds and peanut butter cookies and chocolate bars with peanuts and marshmallows! Plus everything was all warm since they were in the center of the earth.

"Hey, Bij-bij," said Boss, "Want to live here in the center of the earth?"

"Well of course, Bo-bo, that's awesome," Bijou, replied, "awesome."

So Boss hired lots of worker-hams to build him the finest underground home ever in the world, literally, it was seriously in the world. He hired so many workers that it only took 4 hours to build. Then only 1 hour to paint and carpet. So Bijou and Boss went shopping for furniture.

"Do you like this color, husband?" asked Bijou, holding up a blue paint sampler.

"How couldn't I?" he replied, " Your color predilection is simply divine!"

"Oui? You really think so?" glittering as she said the words, "I am really that talented?"

"Sure are!" he yelled, "that's great, huh?"

"Uh, YEAH!" she said back.

So after they bought all the finest (and most expensive) furniture they rode their golden kayak down the milk river leading to their titanium glass home… if that's possible.

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Within the confides of a pandemonium-ridden reality…

"Where's my beautiful hamster, old person?" Kana asked an old person.

"I predict that your hammy whammies are in my back pocket," Old Person said.

"What?" Kana asked bewilderedly, "Are they okay? You're smashing them!"

"CALM DOWN!" Old Person said, "DON'T YELL AT ME!"

Old Person pulled two lumps of coal out of his pocket and gave them to Kana.

"Oxy!" she exclaimed, "what is this coal-like substance that covers your entire body, thus making you look like a medium-sized piece of coal found in an old person's pocket!"

"I found him in a bag in the grocery store, I'm afraid he didn't make it."

"Wh-what?" she asked, "didn't make it?"

"HE'S DEAD, KANA! DEAD!" screeched Laura, who was secretly listening to the whole thing.

"No!" said Oldie the Person; friend of Old Person, "he just never made it to the vegetable aisle!"

"What in heck is that supposed to mean?" yelled Laura.

"It'll be okay, Laura," said Travis, who was suddenly there, "That's just a coal."

"Oh my gosh! It's Travis!" Laura screamed, "I LOVE YOU TRAVIS!"

"Good bye!" he said, ignoring Laura, "Good bye! Good bye! I can't stay for too long, sorry! G'bye!"

"Isn't Travis cool? Oh my gosh!" Laura sung.

"Sure, I guess," replied Kana.

"I like him," said Old Person.

"Me too," said Oldie the old person.

"But I like him most so you guys back o-off!" yelled Laura.

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Back to unreality…

"And shall we start dinner, my lovely?" asked Bijou.

"Oh yes, 'he replied, "yes indeed. Maids! Tell the cooks to fix us up some fancy rich people grub! Pronto!" So they ate a marvelously prepared feast of seeds and veggies and all those things hamsters like to eat.

"Ah, what a marvelously prepared feast, my darling," said Bijou.

"'Twas a fine meal," Boss replied popping the last of the luscious hamster-sized grapes into Bijous mouth, "a fine meal indeed."

"Oui, and these grapes are indubitably superb," she said, "as if I am eating magic spheres of joy!"

"Magic spheres of joy!" Boss repeated.

After their superfluous banquet they meandered about their new home in hopes of finding a bathroom… unfortunately, however, the house was incredibly large and they got lost very easily.

"Where in the world are we?" asked Bijou, growing impatient.

"I do not know!" said Boss, "if only we had a map!"

Just then a magic map popped out of nowhere and said, "Yo, homies! I's here ta help y'all find yer way t' the bathroom!"

"Oh, map! We need help!" said Bijou, "can you help us find the bathroom?"

"… that's what I said I was going to do…" said the map, confused.

"Please? We have to find it!" Bijou pleaded.

"But I said I would! That's why I'm here!" the map yelled.

"But map we need your help!" Bijou pleaded once again.

"This way!" the map said, giving up on telling her he already said he was helping.

"Map!" Bijou yelled, "mappy, come back! Nooooo!"

"Bijou, let's follow him," said Boss, attempting to calm Bijou down, "he's leading us to the bathroom."

"Follow him!" said Bijou. They were lead to the fancy marble bathrooms and after successfully emptying their bladders headed off to bed.

"Nighty night, Bossy," said Bijou.

"Sweet dreams, my lovely," replied Boss, Slipping into another dream…

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-q-p-

I'm not sure I'm thinking when I write these…