Eregion

TA 2907

Gildor's POV

The next morning came clammy and grey. Feeling stiff, cold and raw I had been awake through the rest of the night, half waiting half hoping for Raven to wake. Or rather, to come back to himself. For a while I had thought he would die anyway, wards or no wards set to keep the pain in check. I did not know how far the dark elves used mind-speech in particular, but judging by the level of Raven's mental defence they were quite apt in mind-magic in general. Though compared to what I had learned they seemed to be doing some things with a mace that could be done with a needle.

I had used the night to sort out what I had seen. Which was not much.

Fingal – Raven's brother - had died more than a year ago. Raven had lived in that – let's call it state – several moons. How the hell did he do it? From the effect his brother's death had had on Raven I guessed their soulbond must have existed from birth, maybe. But then, Fingal had been several years the elder. A controlled soulbond generally allowed the survival of the remaining partner. Nevertheless the death of one partner was always a risk, and often the shock of losing the other half was deadly, even in a controlled bond. So much for the theory, once more.

Raven had curled into a tight ball and kept his shields, or what was left of them at the moment, firmly raised. I could not tell anything about his true constitution at the moment. Not without touching him. Perforce we shared some sort of connection now, but I did not know him well enough to sense anything telling through that thin bond yet.

What would happen when he woke, I wondered once more. If he had the strength to fight, would he attack me? With a temper like a spring bear he would not provide an even moderately peaceful cave mate. I had done what I had been – still was - convinced was the right thing. Had it been my right to make that decision for Raven? Or did I allow myself to be too much influenced by old memories than to see everyone had a right to decide on their life? Or death, for that matter?

Yet - if Raven wished to refuse to live still, he could make that decision once more, willingly. Because he had had no power over the fading, last night. No one could say for sure what the fading actually was. Would be.To waste of grief was one thing, to willingly pass to Mandos another. Both were accounted for by the Valar.

Slain you will be… Damn it. Did dark elves fade? Or was it a fate reserved only for those who had once rebelled, if they would not return into the west? Maybe I did not really want to know.

I rubbed my eyes. I could not think as clearly as I wished. I had a hellish headache from our struggle, and Raven would feel it thrice since he had gotten the backlash of his own killing strike. Oh yes, he nearly killed me, I had to admit it. I had only in the last moment remembered Glorfindel's advice avoid what you can't counter and let the energy pass around myself into nothingness.

I stuck my head out of the entrance-hole. It was so narrow even the lean dark elf had had difficulty squeezing through. The entrance to the tiny cave lay deeper than all the surrounding blocks and I could not see much through the thick mist that now lay damp and heavy on the mountain slope. The one good thing about our hiding had been its size - the close space had prevented Raven from getting a great advantage in our struggle last night. I would be glad to leave this place. My leather armour was soaking wet from our crossing the mountain river in the valley, but I did not dare to take it off. Orcs were around up the mountain, and though they had not come closer in the night, I dimly felt their presence. Somewhere before us, not behind. They had not followed us, at least. I could not say exactly where they were, my skills were not enough for that, but the land spoke clearly enough. And here we were, stuck up like rabbits in their den.

Presently, these rabbits were enveloped in deep silence though their hiding was not that far from the tree-line.

I sighed and retreated into the meagre shelter of our hole. Right now I doubted Raven would ever forgive me, no matter I had saved his life. I shook my head in frustration and sank back against the cold wall. It was a long way still to reach a safer place for the next rest, and if we could somehow manage I wanted to try and reach a small cottage my company sometimes used as a stop-over. It was not a safe haven, but it was considerably safer than spending another night in some cave.

A pity Fairё had gone back to Imladris. Well, I knew she could not have followed us across the landslide anyway, and probably the way down aside from the pass would not get better at all. Should I wake Raven? Would we be able to march for any great distance? What if we could not move for some days? It was complete madness to even consider spending a night in this area out of cover, at least in our condition. The thought of a hot bath came unbidden and enticing to my mind. I was hungry, and our food would run out today.

The cottage turned into a paradise far beyond any amenities even Imladris could offer. Coming to think of that, though, I doubted Raven would be happy to have to stay in a house. No more than I was happy with a cave like this one. From what I had gathered Raven had never been in any kind of building more solid than a winter flet. I tried to stretch and my knuckles scraped against the wet rock above. How could any elf bear even to think of spending a whole winter in this badger's hole, I wondered in exasperation.

Food. I rummaged through my pack, and found only dried fruit and old bread. The last of the smoked meat we had eaten yesterday. We had to reach the cottage.

If only for the sake of comfort.

I knew that was a bad argument, but then, what had gone right anyway?

Somewhere close, a bird of prey screeched. Raven did not react, which I guessed was not a good sign. In the past few days I had spent in his company he had never been less than jumpy and completely aware of his surroundings.

If we walked very hard we could reach the plain before nightfall. Determinedly I leaned forward and spoke Raven's name. When no reaction came I shook Raven's bare shoulder, ready to block any reflexive defence. Fever, I thought grimly. It hadn't gone down a bit. As a healer, I could tell the dark elf's normal body temperature was higher than my own, but this was definitely too high. Raven flinched and immediately twisted around into a crouching position, tensed and ready to attack. Panting, taking a moment to fix his eyes on me, he glared at me.

"What?" he demanded, squeezing the hiss out between clenched teeth.

I had made the deep cut on his chest heal as best as I could, but it was poisoned and had not stopped leaking blood, I saw. Raven's sudden movement now had not made the wound better. At least he hadn't gone berserk yet.

"We should go now" I said "Dawn was an hour ago. And we won't be fast"

"Go?" For a moment Raven looked puzzled "Go where?"

"Eregion. We agreed to go to Eregion" I said, trying to sound as if it was the most obvious thing.

Raven's POV

I came out of utter darkness without waking up. I knew nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. There was only darkness, and awareness of darkness. There was nothing else, not even the wolf. Then there was only sharp, fiery pain, lancing through that silky darkness and snatching it away from me like a blanket, leaving me naked and defenceless, without the wolf.

I did what the wolf would have done, twisting up, crouching, trying to face whatever had snatched my cover. I had no fur, no fangs, no senses. Unfurred, I had only eyes, and was no good to defend myself. There was light, and it blinded me. My head spun, and all my body hurt. Had I been able to, I would have twisted away from it then and there.

Light. Touch. Unfurred. Somewhere, I felt the wolf then, alive, in charge. He looked up, looked at where I was, who was with me. He wanted to know, but it was I who had to speak. It was a struggle to find the concept, the language, the word. To speak as the wolf did not.

"What?"

I hissed, unable to move my lips correctly, unable to put together anything I saw. Only the name, I remembered his name, his scent. The wolf did. Enemy, I thought. Friend, the wolf said. I crouched between the wall, the fire, and Gildor. The wolf took charge of something he did not understand. He remembered the words.

"To Eregion. We agreed to go to Eregion"

Oh yes, we had, I remembered, too, finally, slowly. And I was still bound to agree. By pack rules, I was following Gildor now. I had led the way to our present hiding, but the Elda had defeated me. I shook my head, but it didn't clear the fog, only made it worse. I might have a choice, I thought dimly. But how? I thought past the wolf, and that would not work. Pack rules were the one thing I saw clearly at the moment. I looked down from my stare, acknowledging the unspoken order in accord with the wolf, though I guessed Gildor could not make much of wolf gestures transferred to Elven anatomy. Slowly, awareness of being unfurred became less terrible. I reached for the coat on which I had lain and wrapped it around myself. The cave strangled me. I forced my body to move and crawled towards the entrance. Gildor reached out and held me back "Wait, we-"

I knew that wasn't ill intention as soon as he touched me, but I still barely managed not to swat his hand away. I ground my teeth against the very physical pain the light touch caused, unable to keep myself from snarling before Gildor had a chance to speak. I forced myself to elaborate the wolf's statement.

"I want a wash, now, and I'm not waiting until Eregion" I stretched every word into a challenge without meaning to, knowing I had no strength to challenge. Something far from the wolf threatened to snap like a line. Maybe it was anger, but I did not know. I only knew that one more touch would drive me mad. When the leader did not respond to the challenge I shook off Gildor's hand and squeezed through the hole. I had some difficulty finding my balance for a moment. Every single muscle in my body seemed on fire. The wounds from the orc blades were burning painfully. I struggled up the slippery stones to where the small stream of water bubbled from the earth and dripped down the edge of a boulder.

It took me a long time until I felt at least a little cleaner. I pressed my hands against my forehead for a moment, cursing the fever. I felt terrible, and I didn't even have to look inside to know it. I knelt and held my head under the sprinkling water until my hair was soaked, then threw my head back and wrung the long strands out. The deliberately vicious motion made my head spin. And my hair was still full of dried blood.

It did not improve my mood.

When I came down to the cave again Gildor had already pushed our possessions out on the rocks and was waiting for me. Silently I pulled my tattered shirt over my head and fastened my sword-belt around it. It rubbed over the raw flesh, and I tried unsuccessfully to ignore it. I slung my empty pack over my shoulder and stood up stiffly and hid the fact I was shaking with cold and exhaustion by adjusting the pack-straps.

We left quickly, climbing straight downwards. The boulder-field was wide and treacherous, with holes and gaps to stick a foot into everywhere. I bit my lip and kept my mind blank, climbing and slithering behind Gildor. It was incredibly hard to walk on two legs, climb on two legs. Half the time I had to catch my weight on my hands, leaping from one boulder to the next. At all cost I wanted to avoid any reason why Gildor might touch me again – I would not be able to shield against him at all, not after last night. I had been forced to share so much of my mind that I did not wish to look into Gildor's eyes ever again.

And I knew I could never avoid it.

So why worry, the wolf wondered, flicking his ears in puzzlement.

What has happened has happened, move on.

Wolves were opportunist, and that was where I got into conflict with the wolf again. What had Gildor seen, I worried. I could not say, could not know. Had he found the wolf as well, did he know what I was?

Oddly enough, the wolf was calm. Deep inside I knew I should – could - trust the Elda. But I could not do it just now.

It was early afternoon when we rested for a while. We had left the landslide and reached thin pine-forest. I scanned the surrounding land as best as I could, not trusting Gildor's senses. The watching sapped energy, even though I did not build anything close to a tight net of awareness. I gave it up when I sensed no orcs near and almost fell asleep as we sat.

To think of the pack was enticing.

Return.

Forget the trouble. I need not face this, need not stumble around on two shaky legs.

Again, I saw the leading female's yellow eyes, narrowing as she smelled prey, her muzzle raised into the wind.

I had been allowed to hunt with her alone. Between the two of us, we had decided several hunts for the pack.

The wolves tended to forget the fact I was a changer in daily business, and yet I was awarded special freedom only a changewolf could expect within a pack.

Below, there was an emptiness in the land as I perceived it that seemed to echo my own feeling of hollowness. I was a creature of the mountains, I realized, and down there was no cover, no sound of trees. Far away there was a dark shadow on the plain, stretching north. That was the forest Gildor wanted to reach, and it called to me over the distance, a barely susceptible whispering that infiltrated any thought I tried to grasp firmly.

The wind did not have the strength here that it had in the mountains.

I felt stifled.

Gildor's POV

I stretched and rose, hoisting my pack and sword on my back again. The motion startled Raven out of his reverie.

We went on. The day did not clear up, and in the dusk a thin rain began to fall once more. I was exhausted as I could not remember having been before, and we had only just reached the beginning of the Eregion plain.

We halted under a few dead trees, and stared across the dim expanse of the plain rolling away before us. Vast and grey in the dusk the meadow-lands vanished in an undefined line between earth and sky. Raven stood shaking with fatigue and clutched his side where the orc blade had sliced a hand's breadth of skin away. He stared over the wide plain and he did not appear to like it.

"I'd give gold to have some merchant come across us and give us a ride on the shakiest wagon that ever travelled any road" I muttered.

"I would give gold to turn my back on this and get a highland forest back, would I remotely value gold" Raven whispered after a while.

Startled, I looked at him. He returned my glance briefly, with the ghost of a smile.

It was the first thing he had said all day. Still I was worried, more than in the morning. All the way down the mountain the Raven had climbed with iron determination, but as he stood beside me now I could feel the heat his body radiated. There was too much poison left in the wounds, though I had already washed them out last night, and Raven had done it again in the morning.

The climb had taken longer, much longer, than I had expected. Now we were in a worse situation than this morning - night fell around us. If we went on and were attacked I knew I alone was no life insurance for us. Orcs ranged in groups, seldom alone, and what could I do against a load of them with not only myself to defend? If we stayed, the risk to be found heightened considerably, and we were both wounded and exhausted. The wind had almost died, and the steady drizzle had become freezing cold. With the fever gnawing at him, Raven was shivering visibly.

"We should stop, maybe. And go on in the night. The foothills here give at least a little cover"

For a brief moment Raven looked tempted. But then, far away, wolves howled.

It was my turn to shiver. The sound was as bad in my ears as orc-cries. I looked at Raven, who stood with his eyes closed. Listening. After a moment, he looked away over the dark plain.

"And just as much to anyone stalking us" Raven took a step forward, glanced at me, and walked on when I followed him. He was right, of course. So we trudged on through the cold, wet dusk.

"Something is wrong" I could put it no clearer.

"Yes" Raven did not look at me "Th…There are orcs. Up there. Where we came from. The wolves…say so" He paused "Your people - will they know they may be coming? orcs?"

I shrugged, then shook my head "The cottage is rather close to Imladris. Generally, it is left alone. But there are no guards here. This land…is empty. Has been, for a long time"

Raven said nothing. We walked on, side by side now. It was deep night when Raven suddenly stumbled. I caught him before he fell and knelt beside him on the ground, letting him go as he gasped in pain. I swore silently. Any kind of healing I could do would only work through physical contact. If I wanted to supply Raven's shields or shield him myself I would need to touch his mind. And that would hurt him just as much. Through our bond I could remotely feel now what was going on with Raven, and I was at a loss.

Raven's POV

The vastness and emptiness of the unfamiliar plain had a strange effect on me. I felt my mind waver, and tried to clutch on some steadiness. Unease grew in me, as the wolf sensed storms and earthquakes. Partly this was a normal reaction of wariness when I came into lands unknown to me, but now this seemed to grow on me and blunt all my other senses.

I shook my head trying to clear the fog away, grappling with myself. I should stop, attune myself to the feel and nature of this land and then I would not be bothered by this continuing alarm call.

The only thing was, my head hurt like hell.

When my shields got shattered the backlash had scorched through my mind like fire. I would not be able to use my powers fully for a while, nor to let any kind of power flow through the channels. I stopped as the ground seemed to swing beneath me. There were no trees to lean against.

I found myself crouching on the ground, and realized I had fallen. At least my sensation of the land grew clearer and more relaxed. The mist thinned a little. I placed my hands on the coarse, wet grass, the hard earth beneath; but still - yes, something was wrong. I could not tell if it had something to do with myself or the land I did not understand. Suddenly Gildor beside me was tensed, looking into the dark.

"Can you move? Now? " he whispered urgently. Then "Damn, they're here"

There was a faint ring as Gildor drew his sword. For a moment, I was paralyzed, trying to separate my perception of the plains from the rest, then suddenly the wolf screamed in my mind, the change almost getting the better of me. Everything seemed to clear as I realized it was not the strangeness of the land that disturbed me so much, it was a disturbance of the land. I struggled to my feet and jerked my sword out of its sheath.

Out of the darkness orcs came rushing towards us, giving up their creeping advance. I staggered around, reflexively turning my back to Gildor's. I heard his blade connect with that of his attackers, then the other two orcs were around me. Sensing my weakness they attacked me together, sure of the kill, a grin on their faces. For a second I saw the huge orc towering above me again as I lay on my back, dumbstruck, the crooked blade coming down to cut my throat. Then the memory faded, the wolf and instinct took over. I ducked and launched myself toward the orc nearest to me. The impact threw us both to the ground and almost stunned me. The orc snarled "Nasty critter. You're dead"

Strong brown hands closed on my sword-arm and pinned me to the ground. The second orc! the wolf screamed. Panic seized me, but the wolf turned my terror into fury, funnelling the hate I felt for myself and the circumstances into power. One at a time. I smelled the orc, saw his face twist into a satisfied snarl as his chosen prey fought back.

"You. Err." I bit off the words, seeing with satisfaction the baffled surprise on the orc's face as I answered in his own tongue. With the one thought to kill I slammed my free fist into the orc's face and twisted out of his momentarily loosening grasp. I smashed my sword across the orc's belly, breaking more than slicing through the battered armour. I caught a slash across my back in return but staggered forward to drive the blade deeper.

Where's the second one? I wondered as I jerked the sword up.

"Raven!" Gildor shouted a warning even as I sensed the other orc behind me and the wolf's sense of survival made me roll to the side and point the blade up toward the shadow. At the same time Gildor had hit the orc's back and the creature stumbled and impaled itself on my blade. I pushed myself away from the dying orc and pulled my sword back. Gildor swung his own blade in a narrow arc severing the orc's head. He bent down and retrieved his throwing knife from the orc's side, wiping the blade on the grass.

"Thank you" I said, subdued. That was probably the only thing why the orc had hesitated the moment I had needed to turn my blade around.

"Never mind" Gildor pushed the knife back into his belt. Then we stood in the sudden silence of the plains and stared into the night, panting.

"At least you obviously decided to fight the orcs again"Gildor said

The rain continued to fall. After a moment I staggered a few steps away and dropped to the ground. This had been so close.

Only four.

There was an eerie calm after the fight. After what seemed like an hour Gildor spoke my name. We were just breaking a warrior's first rule. Never rest at a battle field.

"Hm" I sat up again, and tried to clean the blood from my sword with a handful of grass before I sheathed it. My hands were shaking so much I could barely rip out the tough plains grass. "I'm no use here, Gildor" I said finally "I cannot sense what is near"

"Neither can I, so let us hurry" Gildor answered after a moment. "They are gone for the moment" I got up, and he cast a last look at the dead orcs "Good work, still"

I had no strength to smile. Recklessly, I let go of my shields and sought for a deep connection to the land, the infinite energy of earth itself. It was there, the power, but I could not ask for it. It was as if I had forgotten how to ask. The plains did not feel, did not respond, like the forest, the mountains. Still, I stood and somehow I managed to walk on.

Gildor's POV

We walked away from the place where we had killed the orcs. We almost fled. Raven managed the brisk walk for half a candlemark, then we had to climb down a smooth but steep drop in the ground, and his legs just gave way. Snarling in frustration he slipped down to the bottom and could not get up again. I came after him, slithering on the wet grass.

The forest was about five miles distance, not more. It was not yet midnight. Again, I scanned the land northwards carefully. Silence. I looked at Raven who shook his head mutely.

We were not going to make it there. Faire. Damn it. Well, she couldn't fly here from the valley. Determinedly I took Raven's pack and slung it over my own shoulder, then bent forward to pick him up. "No" Raven closed his hand around my arm with surprising strength "No. Please, just – let me lean on you"

I sighed silently. Surrender was unacceptable. Very well. I forgot my own rules.

I nodded and pulled Raven to his feet, slung his arm across my shoulder. I still carried most of his weight. We set ourselves to the last few miles with grim determination. Raven simply shut his eyes and relied on my guidance. I felt him relax minutely as we struggled on under the trees. After the rough grass of the plain the dead leaves underfoot were soft and soothing. When I finally saw the dark bulk of the cottage before us I could have shouted.

Empty. Well, they would be in Imladris by nowWith a brief mental touch I dispersed the wards they had set around the wooden building when they had left. I pushed the door open and led Raven to the fur covered bed in the main room.

Blessed Orome.

Raven's POV

For a moment I was at a loss where we were. I lay on my back and felt vulnerable. With an effort, I curled up on my side. I felt dry and hot inside, but I was shivering and my skin felt clammy. Tangled hair fell annoyingly before my face, and I pushed it back with a movement that seemed to require all my strength. Disgusted, I felt the dried plates of blood and dirt. I wished for nothing but a bath, I couldn't just decide if I would prefer a cold mountain stream or a hot spring. Everything was out of control for the moment. It was the most terrible sensation to find even my own body out of my mastery. Being a captive in the orc camp had not frightened me so much, not even the idea what the orcs might do or were planning to do. I had been in control even then, if only remotely.

Gildor was moving around somewhere close. There was a smell of wood and dust, furs and bees wax. The Elda struck a flame and lit a candle, carried it to me and put it on the low wooden table beside the bed. I blinked in the light which seemed bright and blinding for a moment. The wolf eyed the flame sceptically through my eyes.

Cottage, some part of my mind supplied.

This is the cottage he spoke of.

I closed my eyes and tried to decide if I could afford the luxury of complete unwariness and let exhaustion take over. I could not focus properly on Gildor's face before me. He said something to me.

"Huh?"

"Go to sleep. We're safe here. Just - sleep"

Just sleep. With sleep might come memory.

I did not wish to remember.

But I wanted to rest. So I turned my back to the candle and tried to relax without actually losing myself to sleep. I had been pretty good at that for the past weeks.

9