A/N Okay guys, firstly I just want to apologise for the huge wait for an update but here are my reasons before you all attack me!

I've been ill recently and spent most of my time in bed feeling miserable, but the plus side is I now have lots of ideas

I am in two shows so I have loads of rehearsals

I have so much coursework and homework that I have had hardly any leisure time at all

I have been writing a new fic Heart of Glass at the same time (BIG HINT to go check it out and review!)

Okay so basically this part is cruelly short but it's some background info about Ryan and Emma's relationship and how things ended with them which is important because as you may have already guessed she will be making an appearance in the not so distant future. So I'm really sorry, don't hate me and tell me what you think!

Ryan sat back in his chair with his head in his hands breathing in deeply as his heart hammered against his ribs. He let the phone ring continuously in front of him, the tinny ringing filling his ears as he swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He couldn't handle this, everything had been going so well he should have known it was too good to be true. Something had to get screwed up sooner or later.

Just hearing her voice again bought back all the memories. Ellie being born, the panic he felt when the doctors said she wasn't breathing, sitting in front of the incubator whilst his daughter struggled to stay alive. Trying to convince Emma to look at her daughter, taking Ellie home and holding her in his arms, watching as drank her way through a bottle of vodka, trying to pull it away from her, having a glass thrown at his head…finding the note.

FlAsH bAcK 1

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Emma screamed her already alcohol flushed cheeks reddening as she yelled at Ryan, her hands balled into fists as she gripped the bottle of vodka tightly in her hand, swaying drunkenly as Ryan flinched at her screaming. He looked at her with sad eyes, he couldn't do this. He couldn't cope with this all over again, first with his mom now her? He couldn't do it, but he had to…he had to do it for their daughter.

"Don't you even care what you're doing to this "family"? To your daughter, to me? Can't you see the damage you're doing? You're not sober for more than five minutes and when you are you're looking for something else to drink!" Ryan yelled his body tensing as he eyed the bottle in her hands as she staggered dangerously, swaying on the spot. She stumbled and glared at him.

"You think you're so high and mighty don't you? Up there on your high horse! You don't know what it's like for me, you don't know what it was like watching my daughter dying in front of me!" She sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks as she gripped onto the table for support.

"Yes I do, I was there. She's my daughter too. Do you really think getting yourself like this is going to do any good? She needs you to be her mother!" He said desperately. He couldn't cope with this, she needed help but how was he supposed to give it to her when she wouldn't let him?

"Oh shutup Ryan. You can't make me do anything okay? Who do you think you are anyway? You're just so perfect aren't you? You never do anything wrong, well I'm not like that Ryan! I have problems this is how I deal with them!" She yelled the tears still flowing as she took another swig of vodka causing Ryan to grimace.

"Problems? You think I've never had problems? I've been through more than you can ever imagine and you stand there saying I'm perfect? You don't know anything. Drinking won't solve your problems."

Emma scoffed and took another sip of drink

"I really hate you sometimes." She spat hatefully. Ryan sighed heavily. He was past caring what she said about him anymore, it was always the same when she was like this.

"Emma please, just get some help. You're killing yourself and I can't just standby and watch it happen." He pleaded glancing over at the intercom, he was surprised Ellie hadn't woken up through all of this. It wasn't fair, he had promised himself that when he had kids he wouldn't let them have the same childhood he had, but Emma was turning into his mother…

"Ryan just shut up. You can't make me! I don't need help so just BACK OFF!" She yelled

Ryan swallowed his heart hammering.

"I can't"

Emma's face twisted in anger and she raised the bottle above her head, swaying as she hurled it forward. Ryan ducked instinctively but he wasn't quick enough. The bottle clipped the top of his head and shattered, showering him with broken glass. He hissed as a sharp pain shot across his head, he felt blood trickle down his forehead as Emma stood still in front of him her eyes wide with tears.

"Ryan i…" She whispered shakily.

Ryan raised a hand to his head, his hair was sticky with blood and he winced in pain. He drew his sad blue eyes up to hers as she started to sob, he shakily took a few steps forward as she dissolved into tears. His head throbbed angrily as he silently walked out of the room leaving her in a sobbing heap on the floor…

Flashback 2

Ryan yawned widely and rolled over, running his hands over the cold bare sheets next to him, the space where Emma was supposed to be, the place where he had lay her down after she had passed out drunk again. He groaned and rubbed his eyes his limbs aching and protesting with lack of sleep. He had been up half the night with Ellie, Emma hadn't heard her crying…she was still out cold.

He sat up slowly pushing back the duvet and swinging his legs from the bed and stretching his arms and back hearing a satisfying click and groaning slightly. He forced his eyes open as his heavy eyelids drooped over his eyes again, he could hear Ellie crying on the intercom. Shuffling across the bedroom he grabbed his robe and pulled it over his toned shoulders and walked across to Ellie's crib where she lay crying and gurgling.

"Hey sweetie." He mumbled softly, smiling down at his daughter as she squirmed in her crib. He gently reached down and lifted her out, holding her close to his chest and rocking her gently as she started to sniffle and gurgle. After a few minutes of rocking and soothing he shuffled back across the room with Ellie still in his arms and made his way down to the kitchen. Once he got downstairs he settled Ellie in her rocker and walked over to the kitchen ruffling his untidy blonde hair and yawning again widely. The air smelt of stale cigarettes and alcohol, on the counter sat an ashtray brimming with dog ends and ash and a glass with a dribble of whiskey sitting in the bottom. He frowned and put the glass into the sink and emptied the ashtray into the bin, he hated Emma smoking. She hadn't smoked the whole time with Ellie, in fact before Ellie she hadn't started drinking either. But after Ellie was born it had all started, he guessed it was because she couldn't deal with her being so sick but she had left Ryan to take care of their daughter and clear up after her. It was like his mom all over again.

He put some coffee on and sat at the breakfast bar watching his daughter with a tired smile, his once bright blue eyes dull and lifeless. He loved Ellie so much, more than anything so he didn't mind having to take care of her 24/7 but he just wished, more than anything that Emma would turn back into the girl he used to know. The happy, funny, intelligent girl he fell in love with, he didn't bother trying to look for Emma, this had happened to many times. She'd be out buying more booze or getting wasted with the few friends she had left. He stared out of the window wondering how he was going to finish the pile of work he had waiting for him when something caught his eye, sitting on the coffee table was a piece of yellow paper. Curiously, he got to his feet and dragged himself over to the lounge where Ellie was giggling in her rocker. He smiled slightly and looked down at the note, instantly recognising the swirly scrawl on the front.

Ryan

He picked up the note with trembling hands, a distinct sense of dread coursing through him and he gently brought it up to his face and unfolded it ignoring Ellie's soft cries as he started to read…

Dear Ry,

I just want to say that I'm so sorry, sorry for everything I've put you through. I couldn't face having to tell you this face to face because I know you'd try to change my mind so this is why I'm writing you this letter.

I can't do this anymore Ryan, I'm not cut out for this. I'm a mess not a mother and you and Ellie both deserve better than this. I'm leaving and don't try and contact me to get me to stay because you and I both know this is for the best. I know you'll take care of Ellie and you'll be happy together, you don't need me ruining both of your lives.

I'm sorry, just tell Ellie I love her.

I love you Ryan

Emma X

Ryan let the note drop from his hands, it fluttered to the floor and rested there haunting him as he looked down on it. Playing the words over in his head as he forced back tears and took a shaky breath his heart pounding and his mind racing. She had left him just like everyone else had done, his mother, his brother, his father, Marissa and now her. He covered his face with his hands, his whole form shaking as he desperately willed the tears back, she was gone. She had left them both.

Ellie shrieked and started to cry again loudly and Ryan looked up, his vision blurred by surpressed tears. Why was he being so weak, why was he so surprised? Everyone let him down in the end, why should he expect any different from her? She was just like his mother.

He stood above his daughter and gently lifted her up into his arms, holding her to his chest and rocking her softly as she cried in his arms and he cried with her…how was he going to cope? He let the tears fall softly down his cheeks as he held his daughter in his arms…

Present

Ryan glared at the phone willing it to stop ringing, how dare she call him? How dare she even think he would want to talk to her after what she did? After how she treated him and how she treated his daughter. He wasn't going to let her worm her way back into their lives, not after all the damage she had caused…

A/N I know…short right? Oh well it's something and it's important and I am stressed so please review and I will post soon…and check out Heart of Glass ! My new fic! Cheers guys!

Rach X

Next Time: Summer and Seth announce their happy news, Ryan is worried about Emma turning up causing a rift between himself and Marissa and a "Mystery" visitor shows up