As she pressed the final control, she looked at the Holodeck doors and took a deep breath. "Congratulations, Dad," she said. "You've just become a counselor..." Biting her lip, she walked in slowly.
Janeway found herself in a yard. Her own childhood backyard, looking the same as ever in the heart of Indiana. There before her was the tree she had loved to climb, and go sit in when she was upset. And then...
Her stomach lurched as she spotted her father, standing there beside the tree, her tree, smiling at her. "Good morning," he said while she walked toward him.
"Good morning," she replied, her own lips curving into a smile. She had programmed him with every iota of knowledge about their adventures in the Delta Quadrant. That would be easier than trying to explain to him six years worth of disasters...And fun.
But she hadn't put in anything about her particular dilemma; she wanted to tell him that herself. "You look troubled," he prodded her, his eyes squinted in the bright summer sun. "What's wrong, Kathryn?"
"...I have a problem," she said, leaning against the tree. "A war, in fact. Between my human instincts, and my Starfleet training."
"Ahh." He nodded, looking at the grass thoughtfully. "Those two seem to butt heads quite often in Captains, and Admirals." His blue eyes not unlike her own lifted once more to regard her fondly. "Tell me about it, then."
Janeway had been chewing on the inside of her cheek until this invitation. And now, her brow creased. "There is a man," she began slowly. "My first officer."
"Chakotay. Go on."
She obliged. "For six years he has been my closest friend. My port in the storm, and my sounding board. Our relationship has weathered brutal storms brought on by the Borg, and exhile..."
Edward shifted, and nodded, to show he was listening, and to move her onward.
Voyager's Captain looked up into the branches of the tree in thought. "Two months ago, three of us crashed on a planet, Class C. After walking a ways, my strength was gone. I ordered Chakotay to leave me, and find shelter. But he wouldn't. He stayed with me, he talked to me..." Her brow creased. "He told me he loved me."
"I see...And, your feelings for him are not...the same?" he asked, making her turn back sharply to him.
"That's not it," she insisted. "I...He loves me, as I do him. But there's more. Much more. Yesterday he came to my quarters to ask me something, and...Daddy, he asked me to marry him." She squeezed her eyes shut.
She felt, rather than saw him smile as he put a hand to her cheek. "And this is a problem?" he laughed. "I'd think you'd be happy."
"I...I can't be happy!" she said incredulously, stepping out of his reach and staring at him. "I can't! I'm not allowed to have a relationship with a member of my crew, and that includes my first officer."
"You said yourself you've admitted your feelings. Haven't you already turned your back on that aspect of 'Starfleet Protocol'?"
"I know that what we've done is, in itself, a violation, but--"
"A violation? Kathryn, you make it sound like you've turned Cardassian traitor to the Federation by allowing yourself to love someone. It's not an offense...It's not even something to be ashamed of. My dear, you're a human being. A human woman. You've got to be expected to feelthings. You're not a Vulcan." His smile reached his shining eyes and they crinkled at the weathered edges.
"No, I'm not a Vulcan. I'm a Starship Captain, and I have...guidelines to follow. Daddy, I don't know what to tell him. If I accept, I go back on my training, and if I decline, I lose him. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to have to make a choice between love and duty. I need help, I need guidance, I need advice. I need you." Janeway bit her lip again.
"Kathryn, you're a long way from the Federation."
"What does that have to do with it? The Prime Directive is clear, no matter what planet, quadrant, or galaxy you're in! You, of all people, should know that!"
He silenced her by putting his hands on her shoulders. "You didn't let me finish," he chided her softly. "You're a long way from the Federation. You're a long way from humanity,. From your friends and your family. You always think you can do things alone, you want to be independant. You think you don't need any help, but that's wrong, Kathryn. You can't live alone."
"I don't live alone...There are a hundred and fifty other people on Voyager..."
"That's not what I mean. It's human nature to seek out someone we can hold to, someone to love. And that's a ncessary part of our lives, because the hard truth is, we need love. And you're no different, Kathryn. You're not immortal, or immune to humanity, and you know that."
Her lips parted and she stared at him, remaining silent as her vision started to fog with tears. She did know it, though on occasion she'd been known to deny it.
"Do you love your crew?" Henry asked, staring at her. "Do you care for them deeply?"
Janeway blinked, this hadn't been a question she'd expected. "Y...yes. I do."
"Then show them, my daughter. Show them you can love, that you're not above everything our race stands for. You love Molly, you aren't going to deny that, or throw her into the street. Don't throw out this love, either Kathryn. Don't let it slip by..."
The tears welling up in her eyes impaired her vision to the point where everything was watery, but she managed to wrap her arms around him in a hug, almost forgetting that he was a hologram. "Maybe I just needed assurance that...That I wouldn't get us thrown out of Starfleet when we got back," she said on a little, wavering laugh.
He returned the embrace, holding her close to him. "None of that matters, Kathryn. You must think of yourself as well as your crew...You're no good to them if you don't take care of yourself. Even if you were booted out...You'd have him, you'd have your friends. I realize Starfleet is your life...But maybe it's time you embraced a few other things too."
"...Thank you," she told him quietly.
"My dear, there is nothing I wouldn't do for either one of my girls. You know that. I love you, and I always will."
"I love you, Daddy," she whispered, clinging to him.