Gremlin

I know last chapter horrible in so many ways, I hate writing Weir chapter, but don't worry we have a lovely dose of that shepherd guy this time specially for you shepherd-holic

It's was never mine, it is not mine, it never will be mine.

Before I took this job, there were three things I knew I had to do. One: boot call every old girlfriend and one night stand, whose number I could remember. Two: eat as much as possible. Absolutely everything I could get eat and still be able to fit through the gate. FYI: since I was kinda of short of time I had to combine those first two activities. The result was something I will never talk about, ever.

And final thing I did was watch an episode of Star trek. Unfortunately the one episode I watched had nothing to do with clones or how to deal with having one. Shame. I wouldn't mind meeting a tribble off world somewhere.

And now here I was with a clone of my very only. Who happens actually be a member of an alien race that now might possible be coming to destroy us all. Because of we killed one of their kind in self defence, which we can't remember doing. But all's fair in love and war right? They got Rodney, so it we should be even now right? Wrong.

According to my new best friend. If his people decide to "retaliate" as Weir put it. We can pretty much expect our earthling ass to get a whooping; that all the Wraith in the galaxy couldn't top, even if they all decide to spent Christmas with us. Don't sound so cute and cuddly now, do they Jack!

And as for my good friend the clone, Carson the bastard is back to ruin my day.

'I can be sure weather it's from the fact your clone or perhaps it's simply a case of the physiological and physiological mismatch but I'm afraid to say you appear to be suffering from a condition we call schizophrenia.' Great my clone is nuts, cook-cu, a raving lunatic. That's just what I always looked for in a clone.

'I had suspected as much.' I hadn't.

'Really, you understand this, the problem I mean?' Weir was calm to calm. I think I'm definitely getting some fallout from the whole near kiss in space.

'Believe it or not, I 'm actually closer to your counterpart, Doctor. In terms of my duty towards my fellow Furlings.' Wow, his a doctor that I did not see coming. I not only made friends with a Furling but a geeky one too. McKay must have been jealous. Wish I could remember it.

'We are sufficiently different in our biology's I was well aware of the risk to my mental health by cloning myself into Colonel Shepherd.' His so calm, is a person suppose to be that calm when they… you know. One who has flown over the cuckoos nest?

'But I thought I was advance? Because of the Ancient's gene.' Valid point, expect I didn't say it Weir did.

'I'm afraid the human mind even with the ancient gene is still too fragile to bridge the gaps between our species.' I feel like I should apologise for not having a better brain or something.

'As for treating your condition I think we have a few options at our disposal.'

'You mean medication? Is that safe, I mean treating him with our medicines?' She's known him for five seconds and she's already worrying about him. The woman can't help but give a crap about people.

'Aye, it's quite safe. When I say his a clone of colonel shepherd I mean it in every sense of the word. You should react no differently to medication then Colonel shepherd would.' Go to know doc if I ever go nuts, I have options to.

'I assure you Dr Weir that it will be quite safe, apart from the content of our minds the physical parameters of our minds our nearly identical.' Okay he definitively isn't me, I would never say anything like that.

'Are you happy to talk now? We have questions.' Okay here's one. What the hell happened? How can I remember what happened to me to me when I was your guest? Or is it patient? I mean you did examine us right? You learned enough to make a clone.

'I think it's best he rests for now. At least until we get you started on your meds.' Carson spoke so clinical, professional. He'd make a good soldier if he ever got other himself and picked up a gun.

'Can I just ask one question?' I hold up my hand trying to look cute and student like. 'As long as your brief.'

'Thanks. So anyway, I was wondering if you knew what happened to us on your little ash ball of a planet? I mean you examined us and we escaped and Major Lorne team is still held captive. What's going on?'

'That's not brief.' Carson needs to mind his own business. 'When I'm stronger I can help you remember what happened exactly. For now you should try to recreate the conditions. Try flying in one of your ships.' See Carson, that was brief.

'Okay, so your people are trying to destroy us right? I mean why else would you hold Major Lorne's team prisoner? Why would you infect our DHD with a virus?'

'Okay that' s enough Colonel, I think you should leave now.' Carson actually went to touch me! Like he was going to force me out of his infirmary. He put a hand round my arm, my crutch arm.

'No please, we didn't do it.' I struggled with Carson, things got a little heated and I may of hit him. Or broke his nose. Not bad for a guy on a crutch, you got to admit.

I don't need to paint you a picture after that do I? Elizabeth shocked. Carson angry. SF's only to happy to escort me to my quarters. Goddamit those SF's serve under me damn it! But Carson's turned them again me! They spent 12 hours a day in the infirmary with him for six months and he brainwashes them. Gets them to disobey orders from their CO! Risking a court-martial for that sadistic, drunken Napoleonic power monger.

'You do realise John they were under Dr Weir order to confine you to quarters?' Yes, doc I realise that. You know I applied to Mensa! I'm smarter then the average dumb fly boy, your use to treating.

'And turned it down. I've been going over your file. Insubordination to superior officer, disciplinary. Insubordination, and now assault.' Makes great reading, I hear.

'John, colonel this is the file of someone with classic self-sabotage issues.' Great now your back to analysing me again.

'It's my job. Let's take a walk.'

'Where are we going? The bathroom? Because I'm kinda of grounded.' I ask, and she walks towards the door. Completely careless.

'For a ride?' I'm curious I follow her. There's no guards outside. Why the hell do I always play her game?

'How did you do that? No guards, on a dangerous criminal like me?'

'Brain washing.' She jokes, I hate it when people throw my words back. They think they been smart. If your so damn smart why can't you think of your own damn comeback!

But like the stupid soldier I'm, I follow orders. I got paraded around half of Atlantis because she couldn't remember the way she wanted to go. Women. By the time we get to where we going. I had passed half the people in Atlantis and I could tell from the daggers they shot me, Every single one knew what I had done. Honestly I don't know why we bother with the Daedalus, if we want to get a message to earth we just have to tell the right people in Atlantis and boom! Instant message.

So we got to our mysterious destination, the jumper bay. Where else was I going for a ride? She picked out an empty jumper while I plucked the daggers out.

'Okay I'll bite. Why are we here?' She just ignores me and sets herself down comfortable in jumper six's co-pilots chair. 'Come on, John sometimes in healing a wound. You have to face what brought you pain..' She beams incessantly with her white teeth.

'This is an authorised ride? Do I have to have you back by eleven? Are we parking?' I'll admit, rounding third base with a shrink in the back of jumper might be fun and high school-ish cliché. She was wearing this jaunty white sweater that was…complimentary of her god given assets to say the less. But if only she wasn't so sneaky. I could tell she knew exactly what I was thinking. And that just kills the moment. Plus that and she was now hiding in the far end of a vessel I really didn't want to set a foot.

'What's wrong John? I've cleared it with Weir if that's what your worried about.' She knew damn well that wasn't what I was worried about. How can it be so small? It got narrower and narrower, a trick of the light or something. I kept blinking my eyes, trying to clear them. My vision never changed. Kate was happy, inside the twisted vertigo inducing mess of warped, a crushing passage. She didn't have room to breath from my perspective, all crunched up like she was sitting in the seat of a crushed car.

'Nothing, I'm just taking a moment.'

'Come on! I've never ridden in one of these things before! And from what I here you're a jumper addict! What's it been a month? You must be desperate to fly!' She rubbed her hand along the console seductively. I took the first step on to the jumpers rear hatch. And I knew exactly what she was doing. My leg hurt and I got this flash of something in my head. The jumper console, pinned down in front of me. I shuddered. I tasted smoke in the air, or was it ash? The hot sting of metal biting into my flesh and my lungs burning from screaming. I was nearly flat on my back and I stared down at my leg and the damn jumper console was wedged in it. Tearing into me. Crushing me. My breath was taken, my head spun and I was going to pass out. Something grabbed my arm and I flinched, nearly losing my balance.

'Are you okay?' And Ronan pops out of no where. The big ape. 'What are you doing here?' He shrugged uselessly, that was all I got for an answer.

'You need to take it easy, your not as strong as me.' He grins seriously, that smug façade of his. Like we don't all know what that's about?

What was he doing? He was leading me to the pilot's chair. No it was too small, there was no room. The console would collapse it wasn't safe! The whole rig was waiting for me and so it can slam the final nail in the coffin. I won't die like that! Not buried

'Get off of me!' I threw his arm away. 'I don't need your help. I can do this on my own!' I was proud, determined, stubborn and pig headed all at once. This must be what it feels like to be McKay…Rodney.

You know you can do anything. There's that doubt though, that thought in the back of your head. The little pessimist grinding his axe in your mind. Gremlins, the old aviators called them.

Well you bastard, just try it, I don't fail. No one's beaten me down hard enough to stop me from getting right back up. Wraith, Genii and if the you and Furling want a piece, there's more then enough John Shepherd to go around. You get as smaller as you like, you shrink right around me and crush me to death. After the last month I've had why should I care?

Kate's got that look in her eyes now, that the hopeful mother watching her precious baby take it's first step. Should I be weird out by the fact that with two minutes, I've thought of as her mother and as something to defile an ancient flying machine? Probably.

I take another step and there are I'm with out realising it. In front of that damn chair.

'Take a seat.' Kate pats the chair. Ronan swings like a monkey from the door frame. Sealing me in, I must of looked panic as Kate winks at him to move.

'Take your time.' I loop my arm out of my crotch and set down to rest behind the chair, my leg feels strong I can stand for a minute. Take a minute to breath, to smell the chair and the roses. I'll admit it I was afraid. I still have the image stuck in my mind, a console exactly the same crushing me. Is that what even happened? Did the Furlings just screw with my memory and make that? Give me nightmares to keep me from remembering the truth. What ever that is. Screw this.

The chairs not bad, comfortable even. I pull in close to the console. I run a hand among it and then swing my legs under. And guess what happened…absolute nothing. No crushing pain, no blood, nothing. Kate congratulates me. Ronan slaps me on the back.

'You want to take it out?' Kate asks me, the engines are already powering up.

I had forgotten how fun it is, just to fly. No where to go, nothing to do, you just unfurl your wings and soar. Gliding round zooming in and out of buildings of million year old buildings, there just no way to describe it, it's freedom. There's no military to order you around, no one to tell you what to do.

Had I known how short lived it would be. I might of savoured it more.

'Colonel shepherd! Jumper 6 response!' Weir's voice screeched into my ear, overly the insanely loud headset I was wearing.

'Jesus! No need to yell Elizabeth I can here you!'

'Jumper six we have a situation! Jumper one just launched! We believe Dr Zelenka has stolen it!'

'What! Put me through to him!'

'He's not responding to his radio.' She paused, 'John he's taken one of the Naquada generators.' Suicidal Zelenka now that's a twisted I didn't need.

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