End of the War

Lorien, 25th – 27th March TA 3019

Gildor's POV

Raven and I stayed in the partly destroyed hut that had been a scout-shelter before. The hut was open on one side and pretty draughty as some boards had been torn out of the walls, but it was dry, and did not smell of cold ash. Had she had her way, I suppose Galadriel would have kept Raven in the healers' tents. If we stayed here I was near the Ashi'kha and the wolves if there were problems, which I used as an excuse to ignore the wiser course and take Raven into Caras Galadhon myself. My main concern was that we would be left alone.

I wished for athelas, but there was none left in all Lorien. Though Galadriel had done what she could, or what Raven would let her do, the deep spear-wound did not get better. Raven could not shake off the fever that had set in the night after Galadriel's visit. He could not sleep either, being constantly in pain no matter how he sat or lay. A few times he tried to eat something, but it always made him sick and after the third time he refused to try anymore. I saw to it that he at least drank enough, and helped him down to the small river several times a day. The cold, clear water of the Celebrant at least did not fail in its powers. It seemed to keep Raven's fever down a little, though he often cowered so long in the chill flow that I feared he would catch his death by cold. Galadriel had warned me darkly of unrestricted bonds, but I had not attempted to tamp our connection down yet. On the third day Raven's fever broke, giving me a small respite from the continual strain his condition posed on me. Though I put every bit of strength I regained into new attempts of speeding the healing of his wound bit by bit it was not enough. The necessary cleaning of the deep, raw gash caused Raven increasing agony, to the point that he clutched a wall-board above his head to keep still.

One of the healers' apprentices now brought us food regularly, but I forgot to ask for new bandages, and the linen strips ran out sooner than I had expected. I did not feel well in leaving Raven alone again, but could not wait for the afternoon. It would take until evening for someone to bring a new supply out here then. I reached the cluster of huts and tents in admirable time, and heard one of the healers saying a ranger had found and brought some athelas plants here. I got directions where to find what I was looking for, and ran into frazzled-looking Galadriel when I pushed through the tent-flap.

"Is there some left?" I asked, too weary for a greeting, squeezing inside.

"On the tab-" She was half past me when she whirled, holding the flap in one hand "Gildor. I didn't realize it was you. For Raven?"

I nodded.

"How…is he?"

I shrugged "He can't sleep, he can't eat and he can hardly bear any touch on his side anymore, but he will tell you he is fine"

She was watching me like a lioness her chosen prey, the universal healer's glance "He can't sleep, or he doesn't want to?"

"Can't" I went to the table she had indicated. There were fresh leaves in a basket lined with wet cloth.

"Gildor, wait" She followed me and held out a small phial when I turned "This is carlam-leaf. Take it with you"

"It weakens the shields" I interrupted her "Forget it"

"I know it does. We use it in fёa-raika. You must use more. See that he drinks enough before he takes this. Poppy is rubbish, and this is the only sleeping draught I have which I know will not poison him"

"He'll rather take poison than this"

I stared at the phial, fighting a brief battle with myself. If Raven only was able to sleep for a while his body might regain the strength it lacked now for healing itself. Every bit of power he had went into the attempt to keep going. It was impossible to make him lie still for any length of time, as if he feared he would never get up again. A wolf that can't hunt is a dead wolf. I knew that since I had first met him. But even then he had not been in so bad a state as now. "The law of prey is motion" he had said yesterday when I had tried to talk him into resting. This had been close, but, knowing he would not die now since I would not, I had not seen how close it still felt for him. The wolf was hunted now, prey, and lying down would mean giving up. I could not explain that to Galadriel, but I took the carlam-essence, and hoped Raven might trust me enough to take it anyway.

When I came back to the hut Raven was outside in the thin sunlight of an overcast spring day. He had pinned the skin of one of the recently killed werewolves to the ground and slowly but steadily scraped the fleshy underside clean. 'Curse you' I wanted to snarl, seeing how much pain each motion cost him, but I didn't. I sat down beside him and dropped the small bundle I carried, watching him. He had tied his unkempt hair back into a loose tail, but most of it had already escaped the thong, flying in the strong breeze. It was cold, but he was sweating all the same. It seemed the more the pain in his side increased the more doggedly he worked.

"You think that will make it better?"

He did not look up "The hides will rot otherwise. We have no salt to keep them fresh"

That was right but did not answer my question. The Ashi'kha prized wolf-furs, and of course with much more attachment than anyone else. They made little difference what kind of wolf the hide had belonged to before. As much as I hated the idea, I crouched down beside him and said "Give me that"

Raven brushed hair out of his eyes with the back of his hand and glanced at me sharply, half expecting I meant to forbid him his tanning. He gave the greasy slab of sharp flint-stone to me with some hesitation, then snorted when I set to work where he had left off "Either you're getting mad or you have a problem seeing me work"

"Either you're still suicidal or you have a mean streak of making yourself suffer"

I tried not to show the disgust I felt, touching the raw skin. I could not even say what revolted me so much. I had killed and skinned uncounted beasts before. I had no problem knowing such furs integrated into Raven's winter-cloaks. Still, this tested my loyalty to him very much. Raven sat back against the hut's wall and stretched out as best as he could, wiping his hands on the grass.

"I tried to call the Other Wind long ago" he said softly after a while "You would not let me then. Now, I am afraid to do it"

I stopped my scraping. Raven had made more headway cleaning the skin than I would have guessed from the time I had been gone, and there was blessedly little bloody fat left to scrape off.

"The Other Wind?" I asked suspiciously.

Raven gave a short, miserable kind of laugh.

"You don't walk shin'a'sha freely. You are forced on thunder-road. You must walk the wind, when the Hawk flies. But you can choose, too…you can call the wind, the other wind that bears the hawk across from shech'khai yelo" He paused, catching his breath "But not anymore. I can't. I'm frightened. I don't want to leave you"

I tossed the stone down on the hide and knelt beside him. I won't leave you' I wanted to say, but the words refused to pass my throat. I could not say so without lying, and I hated it with all my heart. I could not even look at him straight. I took his hands, and he clutched mine.

"It is not our fault" he said "It's not yours"

Now it was my turn to give a miserable laugh "Maybe not"

Raven let go of my hands and reached for a spare scraper I had not noticed. "Let us finish that" he said, moving forward to bend over the hide again. This time, I did not protest and crouched down on the other side. We cleaned the hide together and then pinned it to the wall of the hut to dry.

"Galadriel gave me this" I said abruptly that night, brushing away a few last crumbs of fresh bread and standing the small phial on the packed dirt-floor. Raven had refused to eat again, and only nursed a cup of water. He immediately got his hackles up, suspicion written large over his face as if the vessel might blow up any moment.

"So?"

"It is carlam"

Raven dropped his eyes abruptly "So"

"Think about it" I said "At least that"

He did not speak to me all night. I slept for a few hours, vaguely feeling the presence of one of the wild wolves in the hut. When I woke, I could tell Raven had not once closed his eyes. The wolf, the female he had bantered with in the scouts' glade, was curled up beside him and did not stir as I started moving about the hut. I pushed a full water-flask at him and Raven took it without argument, slowly turning the cork. The tight bandage around his middle was in need of changing, but I said nothing. I went down to the river for a wash and to refill our water-supply. It was still dark. When I came back, he had emptied half the flask. I sat down in front of him "If you take this, I can leave the cleaning until you sleep"

Raven stared at me for a long moment, returning the challenge, but then his will gave out and he turned away.

"I can't. Not yet" It was barely a whisper.

"What do you want to wait for?" I asked softly "That you keel over?"

He made no reply. I would get nowhere challenging him this time. That worked when he was defiant, but not when he was frightened. I was not injured, only weary. I knew I could keep this physical connection up forever, though it drained me. But it would never avail much more than keeping Raven on the edge of getting better. He had absolutely no reserves left, and, I realized these days, though he took mighty blows in stride, his body could not deal with a leeching wound like this as quickly as one of my own kind could have. That he refused Galadriel's help did not make it any easier. My own pride would have given way much earlier – I would have asked for Galadriel's help.

"There is no one here except me" I said, switching to Ashi'kha "No one who could touch you then. I guard. Not even I need touch you"

That seemed to terrify him even more. The wolf made a soft, whining sound, curling tighter against him. He stared at her, stroking the wiry fur unconsciously.

"How long?"

"Two days at the least. Three. Maybe four. That depends. I cannot control that. Your body decides"

"Four days!" Raven squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He was not shielded against me, and I could feel the extent of his fear, the wolf's fear of losing control over his body, Raven's terror of losing control over his mind. He was prey, he was hunted, and I asked him to stop running. Escape from the pain at that cost frightened him more than going on to increasing pain.

"No"

I hesitated. If I had known that the war was ended now for good, that we would be able to stay here in safety until he was fully recovered I would not have pushed him like this. But though we knew the one ring was gone, Sauron was gone, all his servants remained, and they remained in his service. Many of them at least. And if Lorien was not attacked again, then we would have to leave soon. To Imladris. To the havens. How soon? What would happen when the rings failed, failed utterly, spent the last power they yet had? We would have to decide soon. That knowledge drained me more than any unrestricted bond could have.

"You need not take all of this. It need not be four days"

Time passed. How long, I realized only when Raven spoke, and I felt my legs all cramped from kneeling.

"Promise that you stay"

Carlam was a simple but potent thing. If dried and brewed as tea it weakened the shields only. As essence, it was a strong, very strong sleeping draught. Which did not only weaken the shields but completely prevented the drinker from raising or keeping them.

Raven held the cup as if it was poison, eyeing it with a mixture of dread and longing.

The wolf was still with us. She had hunted, brought us her prey, and hopefully nudged the dead hare towards Raven. He had to push it back to her several times before she gave in and took it outside to eat her catch herself.

"Don't send her away"

"Oh Raven" I held him in my arms, trying to pull him closer without upsetting his cup "Of course I won't send her away"

After a while he raised the cup to his lips and drained it.

"So" he said, setting the cup down a little shakily.

"Yes" I said "It won't take long"

The carlam took effect quickly, all the more since he was already weakened. His breath grew rapid and shallow as he struggled to remain conscious "Don't fight it" I pleaded "Raven, please, don't. I am here, I will stay here"

He nodded, once, but he couldn't just let go. He had not hesitated a second giving absolute control to me a short time ago. But this was a potion, something he did not know, could neither see nor fight effectively. He struggled against its pull, and it was a long while until it had finally wrestled him into sleep. I did not stir even as the light of dawn grew grey and then bright outside the hut. I felt as if I had betrayed his trust, and found I could not let him go now. I moved us both towards the wall so I could lean back against the boards. The bright dawn was quickly overcast and rain began to fall. I was cold, but dared not move unless I broke the tenuous hold sleep now had on Raven. After a while, the wolf came out of her dark corner, eyeing us uncertainly before she lay down beside me, cutting off the cool stream of air that came in through a hole in the wall. Her warm breath puffed across my hands.

Around afternoon I could no longer slump against the wall. I moved gingerly to lie down beside Raven, and fell asleep quickly. When I woke, it was late evening. I had slept the whole night and nearly all of the day and felt refreshed. Twisting, I tried to reach the water-flask but couldn't get to it. The wolf watched me with mild interest until I realized I could mind-speak her as I had before. She got up and took the leather-thong in her fangs, swinging the flask towards me with an amused look. On the dirt floor were several shallow dells where she lain the past hours. She now lay down alongside Raven and turned a burning glance on me. It took a moment until I got her meaning. I got up slowly and stretched. I could leave the hut for a while.

I built up a fire when I came back from the river, and lay down beside Raven again. The drizzle had hardened into rain. The wolf stretched nonchalantly, yawned, and left with the springy gait of a wolf going to hunt, vanishing into the misty weather. I had no reason to keep awake and so went back to sleep, catching up on all the nights I had missed the past weeks.

On the evening of the second day the effect of carlam started to wear off. I woke when Raven stirred, and rolled over, holding him tight so he knew he was not alone. I was glad I had changed the bandages early this morning and not waited until evening as usual. At least the wound had healed considerably in the brief time. The raw flesh had crusted over, and it was no longer inflamed. It would cause him much less pain now. As soon as Raven could, he started to fight sleep. Still it took was after midnight until he managed to shake the potion's hold off wholly. I helped him to sit up "Thirsty?"

Raven nodded, and quickly drained a whole water-flask I handed to him.

"Hungry?"

He shook his head reflexively. I went over to the fire. One of the Ashi'kha had brought a small kettle with a kind of sweet stew this afternoon. It looked like oats, but was made from some grain I did not know. I had not been able to find out what it was yet. It tasted very good, though - there were roasted nuts, almonds and dried berries in there as well as apples, and the spicy smell of cinnamon rose from the pot as soon as I lifted the lid. I held a bowl of it under Raven's nose "Are you sure?"

He stared at me in baffled surprise "Where- where did you get that from?" he asked, his voice rough with disuse.

"One of your people brought it today. You know it?"

Raven nodded, looking almost wistful for an unguarded moment "Khanshe hr sa" he said "A bit different though. That's what we always have in winter. Since father brought his fire with him, that is. It is hard to come by the – the-" he groped for the word.

"Cinnamon?"

"Cimn – Cimma -. Yes"

I laughed, and Raven smiled weakly. He took a cautious spoonful, and then slowly emptied the bowl, always hesitating as if he feared it would immediately make him sick again. It didn't, and I managed to talk him into eating another bowl near midnight.

"How…long?" It was the first word he had spoken after our initial exchange tonight.

"Two days"

He looked down and fell silent again. The wolf lay curled up in her corner once more, occasionally gnawing a huge bone she had brought from her last hunt. She was slowly breaking it into bits and licking the marrow from the splinters.

"How do you feel?"

Raven hesitated "I'm still tired"

"Sleep again"

He looked at me as if I were kidding, then stared past the flames once more "Maybe"

I watched his face. He looked drawn, but no longer hunted. There was a strange sadness to him suddenly, as if he had lost some kind of hope he had had before.

"What about you?" he said suddenly, becoming aware of my scrutiny and instantly alert.

"Oh. I am fine" I had to smile at his sudden shift to suspicion, and my own stupid answer. Raven looked at me long, thoughtfully.

"Thank you for staying" he said finally.

I nodded, but there was nothing I could say. Nothing I needed to say.

"She was there, too"

Raven nodded again "Yes. I know"

He leaned against me for a while, then lay down and put his head in my lap, closing his eyes. I stroked his long, tangled hair, unable to say what went on in him. He fell deeply asleep after some time.

The cold but clear dawn heralded a warm day of spring. Raven woke in the early morning, and we went slowly down to the Silverlode once more. Here it flowed lazy and broad between its green banks, near the joining with the Anduin. To the right was a small bay, an inward curve of the bank, where simple boats were moored. We bathed, and after the cold water even the half-shade under the trees seemed pleasantly warm. Sunlight dappled the ground, and a few first leaves had dared to open. We did not speak at all. Raven had never said that much before, but today he was so quiet I dared not even address him. He was half-asleep anyway. Around noon one of the Ashi'kha joined us. Unfurred I had never seen him, and had to ask for his name. "Sakar'niyan" he said in soft hiss, and I remembered the black wolf who had told us where to find breakfast one morning.

"I am your guide to food again" he said cheerfully, eyeing the boats avidly "There is a glade upstream, and they have bread and meat there. Can you use such a…a thing?" Ashi'kha had no words for boat.

"It is very long ago since I last did" I said cautiously, stumbling over the sharp Ashi'kha sounds now that I had to speak to someone other than Raven "If you want to go somewhere in this, better ask Hador over there"

"Ah, but you know what to do?" Sakar'niyan grinned. He spoke very little Quenya, but that did not prevent him from bounding up to the boats-man and making known what he wanted with hands and feet when I nodded. I saved him from a longer performance, and a short while later we all climbed into the grey boat. We nearly upset it right there, and pushing out into the river rowed in every direction except where we wanted to go, wheeled in midstream, and made little headway in general. Moving stiffly and painfully Raven could not join in the rowing and instead sat in the stern, clutching the sides of the swinging craft and sometimes adding a snide comment. After a while, I became confident enough again in handling the boat that I could instruct Sakar'niyan a little, giving the oars to him. The Ashi'kha flailed about a bit with them, but he got the knack quickly. We still had a good laugh until we finally reached the small glade and bumped into the smooth, sandy bank there. Sakar'niyan unceremoniously stuck an oar into the soft sand to keep the boat in place until I had made it fast to a thin tree. As he had promised, there were three other Ashi'kha there, with small baskets of food between them. He got up in the boat waving and shouted something at them, a moment Raven used to set the boat to swaying and sending him into the water with an almighty splash. Sakar'niyan swore terrible revenge, but decided to postpone it to after he had dried and eaten and preferably to when he could extract some fun out of his chosen victim again. Raven grinned but winced as he climbed out of the boat, catching himself against the tree it was tied to. He waved me on, and I obeyed reluctantly, knowing how badly he took fussing.

Of the three Ashi'kha here I had only seen one unfurred briefly. I had learned how jealously they sometimes guarded their names, and that it was great honour to be told any name in the clan's language. The group that had come to Imladris had always used the Quenya translations of their Ashi'kha names. These three quietly introduced themselves to me as we sat down, and I repeated their names until I had the inflection right. That caused another round of laughter when they told me what this or that pronunciation would mean.

"We know your name, though. Gil'dor, yes?" As Raven did, he pronounced it Kil'thor. I nodded "That is what I have always been called"

"But what do you call yourself?" Shand'rel asked. The question puzzled me for moment, and I looked at her for a clue how to understand it. She could also have said 'What names have you' or 'Who calls you'.

"Nokashi" Raven said into the silence. He stood in the shade surrounding the glade, leaning against one of the young aspens. We had not heard him coming "Kil'tor. She asks, what is your name"

"Ah" I said carefully "I thought the reference was to…a special time. Of naming, that is. Take your pick, Shand'rel. I am Nokashi as much as Kil'tor"

"Are there news?" Lai'ashi, who had been silent up to now asked "How did the lands fare we crossed?" All the other Ashi'kha I had seen so far wore their hair long. Hers was cut short about her shoulders as a sign of mourning now. Mala'shech's mate then.

"I do not know" I said carefully "There was word that it is over, the war. Word from places we have allies, but nothing detailed. The great enemy has been defeated, though what his troops will do, we do not know. And I don't know of the farther regions. Of your homeland"

"We have no homeland" Raven said abruptly into the following silence. He spoke softly, but with harshness in his voice.

"You called Dark Mountain your home" I said. When all looked at him, he dropped his gaze "I spoke only for myself" he said "I called it home because I remember the time there as good. I have no memories of another place and we cannot return to the Ice. I could not name that. And there is no other word in Quenya for what I meant"

"What did you mean?"

Raven frowned "Khan un-pelo'fah maiar"

"It is right, in a way" Shand'rel said slowly "Dark Mountain is a good land. It would be hard to let it go. The summers are rich at the ever-moving, and the hot springs in winter…A good place. Safe. But we had other places before, and we will not be able to keep Dark Mountain forever. Would you really wish to return to the Ice?"

Raven stared at his apple "For the land, yes. For the memory, no"

Raven had never spoken about those early years. All I knew was that he had been born there, in the Eversnows. That he would not have left but for all the clan moving back. He had still been a child then, so he could not have stayed behind there on his own. Maybe. I was careful making assumptions about anything Ashi'kha. But obviously, just as I thought of the West as a desirable place only as it had been, as I remembered it, Raven considered the Eversnows as such a past.

"What means…khan un-pelo'fah maiar?" I asked after a moment. Raven did not answer, but Sakar'niyan looked up "Shining in my heart" he said in Quenya, gesturing "Memory, yes. Of things. Places. People"

"Shining, when all your ancient words refer to the shadows of night?" I asked with a slight smile.

"But the dark before the night-eaters came was starlit" Sakar'niyan said, returning the smile "Akh, Han and Ir. Did not Raven tell you the difference?"

"Maybe he did and I forgot" I said, unwilling to let Raven get the shorter end in this bargain. Maybe Sakar'niyan was asking in good faith, maybe he was teasing, but I knew it was this kind of teasing Raven never took kindly to.

"I did not" Raven interrupted coolly "He has learned the common code in shorter time than you took for a few words Quenya, Sakar'niyan. You better leave the ritual shadings out of your judgement"

Sakar'niyan laughed good-naturedly "He has and I will. But I speak the ritual words better than Quenya, and I know this: Akh is an old word. It means the starlight before the night-eaters, the darkness between the stars, blackness. Han is the night that precedes day and follows it. It is a new word. Ir is like han, but it is also the night that the sun eats. Akh became ir after the brightnesses rose. Kusak means the dark of an overcast sky, and koth'shina is the dark of the one you call the Enemy. We love the stars, too, you know, though they were simply places of un-blackness at first, to us. But that is why we say memory shines. And now you eat something, or you will be memory also, soon" He shoved a wooden platter with cold meat under my nose.

"When do you give names?" Lai'ashi asked me after a while "Do you have special times for naming?"

"Children are named right after birth. But we have times when we usually do not name" I said "Midwinter. Midsummer. And days of no moon"

The Ashi'kha exchanged glances.

"Oh" Raven said, smiling wryly.

I looked at him "Oh?"

"That is exactly the days we have for…naming and festivals. Except midsummer"

I had to laugh "I guess I asked for that. But why nights of no moon? You said once it was…" I faltered, not knowing how to say it in Ashi'kha since Raven had told the tale in Quenya. But he nodded anyway "The story of the moon being called wolf's eye. There are times when the wolf does not look at the world he has made, and we do not see his eye. That story was made after the night-eaters came, when we had learned to use the moon's light to our advantage. But naming follows the ancient rules – nights of no moon are like the starlit dark. It is older and it is still there when the moon is not. That is why names are given then. Vach'khan names"

"H'tanar-ilai vach Onakir h'te?" Shand'rel said softly, questioningly "Khai'nochara a Khaniru a rel?"

Raven looked at her, frowning "N'har toh skree. E toh khai"

His reply was soft, but there was the edge of sharpness there again I had not heard before. There was more to it than simple anger. Shand'rel lowered her gaze for a moment, then nodded. They had spoken the ritual code, and I could not say what the exchange had been about. Raven did not explain, and I did not ask. We sat in silence for a while "What will you do now?" I asked "When the war is over, how will you get home?"

Sakar'niyan laughed "As we came. On foot"

Shand'rel snarled softly at him "Fool. We first come with you, back to…Imlat-ris, you say? From there then, we go as one pack"

But we did not get a chance to go back to the valley. A harassed messenger came running at a trot, Faire trailing him, saddled and armoured once more "Gildor, Celeborn wants you. We could not find you by the hut, so his force is already prepared for marching"

"Marching?" I asked blankly "Where?"

The messenger looked at me as if he couldn't believe his ears "On Dol Guldur? It is time that festering nest is razed. You are to ride with them. They need you. Come with me now"

"I cannot" I said, shocked. The elf looked perplexed, then desperate. He had no right to order me, but could not disregard a direct order from Celeborn. My bond to Raven was still dependent on physical closeness. But I could hardly say that, could I?

"I come with you" Raven got up carefully "You must go"

Maybe he was right. And I desperately wanted to go. A thousand objections and doubts whirled through my mind for a moment "Horses?"

The messenger shook his head regretfully "None to spare"

I swore and glanced at Raven. There was nothing for it. I had to go, I could and would not leave him, so I had to take him.

"Then Celeborn must wait at least until we have dressed" I helped Raven to mount Faire, got up behind him.

"Meet him at the edge of the eastern march" the messenger said, relieved "I will carry word that you are coming"

"Say, too, that some of the Ashi'kha and wolves will come" I added, knowing Raven would already have relayed to his people. They, too, were on their feet and some had already changed and gone off to alert their pack-mates. Faire quickly carried us back to the hut, where I managed to get my armour on in half the time I usually needed while Raven tied one pack for both of us and fastened it to Faire's saddle. I stuffed a supply of bandages into it as well.

"You wear that" I held the light silvan armour out to him I had scrounged earlier in the expectation he might fight unfurred. He had, but always refused to wear the armour.

"Don't be silly" he made to mount Faire. I pulled him around and pushed him back against the hut "You wear that or you stay"

Maybe my anger gave me just enough to authority to order him or he was just too weary to resist. He gave me furious glance, but let me strap the leather-protections on him after I had got him into a softer tunic. The wolves were already there when we came to the eastern march. Of the few horses that had been in Lorien only half had survived the attacks. Celeborn was mounted this time, obviously to honour the occasion. Startled, I saw Galadriel on her own horse beside him, wearing light armour of Noldorin make which had been adapted to the Silvan style. This appeared to be the most impressive host Lorien would ever send out again. I bit my lip and cut the thought of. Celeborn nodded briefly when he saw us, and then the ranks already started moving.

I dismounted to walk beside Faire as we fell into step with the marching host. No need to burden her with us both until we had to. In moments, the Ashi'kha and the wolves had arrayed themselves to trail behind us. Though the One Ring was destroyed and the inhabitants of the fortress bound to be in fatal disorder, it felt strange and unsettling to think we were marching on Dol Guldur. I would have felt considerably better and more in the mood for attack knowing Raven was able to fight on his own. I glanced at him on Faire's back, staring uncomfortably ahead over the marching elves. At least he had taken up the reins I had given to him. Though I had taught him combat-riding on Faire and she often carried him when we travelled or rode in the valley he generally refused to ride her into fights. I wondered what bothered him most, that he was forced to ride or that he would be unable to fight at all.

With the swift pace we held we reached the river by late afternoon. There boats and a raft for the horses awaited us, and before dusk the whole host had been ferried across. Outriders were sent onwards, but we did not enter the forest in the night. We set up camp and ringed it with guards, and then waited for the dawn. Though it was early spring and the day had been warm, the night was bitter cold and dense fog gathered on the ground. Raven slept through the whole rest nevertheless. Before dawn we marched on towards the forest and at the first light of day reached the eaves of Mirkwood. Our outriders had reported a disordered guard on the fortress, but also quarrels of different severity among its inhabitants. Celeborn reordered his forces, let torches be lit, and we entered the forest quickly and marched straight for Dol Guldur. The dark forest itself seemed to suck in its breath as we came. I saw furtive motions and an occasional gleam of facetted eyes following our progress, but nothing attacked and things scuttled away from our path. As we neared our destination the ground began to rise slightly, and the lingering darkness increased. I felt uncomfortably reminded of the spiders' valley I had crossed centuries ago. A changewolf came running along the ranks before us, fixing its glance on me 'To the front you go. She says so'

'She' meaning Galadriel, undoubtedly. With a frown I got up behind Raven 'What about you furred ones?'

The wolf flicked her ears 'We come as we think fit. You attack first'

"What about you?" I asked Raven, who sat stiffly on Faire's back, keeping his breath carefully controlled. By now, I assumed he must be in agony, but he just shook his head "I am ready to ride"

Faire trotted past the marching elves towards Celeborn and Galadriel riding at the front. She motioned to us as we came up "Ride with us"

For a while the three of us rode side by side. I glanced at her finally "Do we have a plan except to charge and kill them all?"

She smiled "I will leave the fighting to you. My business is with stones and spells. But no – charge and kill them all will be enough"

"We must be near n-" I began, then broke off. In the dimness in front of us a greater blackness rose. A terrible feeling seized me, and I tried to clamp down on it. There were two choices, that feeling told me. To run and never return, or to charge into whatever awaited there. Then Galadriel raised her hand, and the feeling passed. There was a terrified, shrill cry somewhere ahead, falling dead in the dark silence of the forest. The host had halted. On the hill and the twisted and partly crumbled stone-structures orcs and a few spiders crawled, vaguely remindful of confused ants hastening over their destroyed hill.

"Our victory is certain" Galadriel said softly "Ride for it"

Celeborn turned, drawing his sword "Longbows, fan out. Archers and left flank to me. Right flank, follow Gildor"

I twisted in Faire's saddle, staring at him, torn between anger and shock. He returned my gaze coolly and ordered "Attack!"

Celeborn rode on, and the left flank broke away from the main host behind him. I could feel Raven brace himself as I drew my own blade and tightened my hold on him. He held the reins but for the most part Faire would do her own steering. I took a breath. Very well then.

"Right flank, forward!" I glanced back briefly, and saw Galadriel calmly sitting her horse as the two sides of the Silvan host split around her and attacked. In the gloom her grey-green armour and white cape seemed to be glowing.

"Hold tight" I warned Raven in front of me "I might be clinging to you"

And then we charged up the final rise and right into the orcs and spiders. Very few actually fought back. The spiders had the most sense – they scrabbled up and along the walls, making for the safety of the forest. Where the longbows and part of the archers awaited them. I could hear Celeborn shouting for them and the whiz of arrows. With the heavily armoured Faire in the lead my part of the host drove a wedge right up to the black, damp gleaming walls of Dol Guldur. From there we fanned out around the base, slaying as we went. Archers came up and climbed the broken walls of what seemed to have been an older bulwark around the fortress, picking off spiders that scuttled for the trees and orcs that suddenly came pouring out of the hidden holes and entries. It was leisurely killing, but harder to do when riding pillion and therefore without stirrups.

"Set me down" Raven gasped when we passed near the walls "Give me your bow and set me down with the archers there"

I bit my lip but obeyed, bringing Faire close to the ramparts where a line of archers had taken position. The ledge was wide enough to stand comfortably on, and the high wall behind them had no openings. One of the elves knelt and pulled Raven up to the ledge which was higher than Faire's back. I passed my bow and quiver to him and seated myself in Faire's saddle. This was fighting as I wished it. Faire charged down groups of orcs recklessly, and as they stumbled back from her I could swing my blade easily down on them. This was like nothing I had ever experienced. The orcs dealt out their share of strikes which did not lack in force or aim, but they seemed more confused by our directed attack than angered. The wounds I received I deserved for my own stupidity, underestimating the one or other orc. The ferocious hate and purpose was gone out of them. Almost it was hard to believe that these were the same creatures we had fought so bitterly the past weeks. The wolves wrought incredible havoc here, killing just as much as the Lorien elves. A veritable panic arose when the pack selected and surrounded various groups and closed in as on wounded prey. Some archers actually drove orcs and spiders back into the slaughter around the ramparts as these tried to flee. I could not see where Galadriel had gone, but suddenly there came a terrible, rumbling sound that seemed to shake the very ground. There were startled howls from the wolves, then they reformed to a signal none of us had heard. A ragged horde of werewolves came around the foot of the fortress, their tongues lolling. For a second they, too, seemed startled, milled, but the confusion of the orcs had obviously not affected them so completely. Some orcs appeared to take hope at seeing the pack, jeering. The wolves and Ashi'kha clashed with them first, but when I charged into the pack with Faire other elves waded in, too. I prayed in the wild fray no one would mistake one of our wolves for the enemy. For a second, I met the wild eyes of one of the werewolves as he twisted away from the jaws of a changewolf. I had my blade at just the right angle, but an incomprehensible impulse suddenly froze me. Faire tripped in the milling and went down on her haunches for a moment. The wolf leaped, higher and farther than I had expected, and flung me off Faire's back even as she got to her feet again. I heard the wolf growl, and rank fur filled my vision and nose. I jerked one arm up to protect my throat and the wolf's jaws closed over the metal. Chain-mail alone would have left me with a torn arm and perhaps broken bone, but even now the strength in the wolf's jaws made for a painful bruise. Unable to turn my blade to strike I drove the hilt of my sword into the sensitive spot between the wolf's elbow and his ribcage. Bones cracked and the wolf gave a grunting yelp without loosening his hold. And still the wildly beautiful, hate-filled eyes bored into mine. Kill it, you idiot, a voice in my mind screamed. An arrow thudded deep into the wolf's flank, followed by a second. Blood bubbled from the wolf's nostrils and the grip on my arm slackened. I shook the creature off and ended the struggle with a swipe of my sword, looking around for the archer. Raven gave a brief nod, sketching a salute. And then it was over suddenly. Faire whirled, snorting, and we stood looking around for more enemies. There were none, only the retching of a few unlucky survivors. The elves moved around quickly to finish these. I stared at the dead werewolf for a moment, feeling my arm throb.

"Faire"

She followed me to the foot of the black fortress where Raven stood on the parapet. He sat down with a groan and gave me strange look.

"Successful?" I pointed to the near empty quiver.

"Look around. You will find my kills easily" Raven smiled wearily "I had not realized you fletched your arrows black by now"

I shrugged slightly "Thank you for…that"

He glanced at the wolf, then at me, then only nodded.

"Have you seen Galadriel? Celeborn?"

"She – inside. He – coming"

I turned to follow his glance and indeed Celeborn, his armour blood-spattered and a little dented, strode towards us, leading his horse.

"Gildor, take a troop and scour the forest around. The longbows report that quite a number slipped through their ranks"

He gave the reins of his horse to me and looked up at Raven, giving a curt nod.

"Where are you going?" I asked, swinging the horses reins back over its head.

Celeborn turned slightly "Galadriel" he gestured at the looming fortress "Inside work. The forest is yours"

I smiled briefly, finding I did not have to adjust Celeborn's stirrups to my height "Ready to ride again, Raven?"

He nodded mutely, climbing carefully from the ledge directly into Faire's saddle. I held the stirrup for him and he grimaced "You shouldn't do that, you know?"

I grinned "Just stay up there and leave the fighting to Faire"

Scouring the forest proved as much a rout as the previous battle had been. We fanned out and moved in a line as if staging a battue, carrying torches. The wolves flanked us at the furthest points because they were the swiftest. Ivornen led a similar line to move towards us, enclosing whatever we netted in a shrinking space. Between spears, archers and swords nothing with two, four or eight legs was left alive. I was not so sure about killing the spiders. Sure, they were certainly not on our side, but neither had they been on Dol Guldur's. As far as I was informed, even Thranduil's main feud was not with the eight-legs but the orcs and wolves. At least we tried to give the Ashi'kha chances to get hold on the few remaining werewolves. But neither was I sure how far Raven's theory about possessed wolves and wargs bred into the Shadow's service held true. The werewolves of Dol Guldur did not strike me as the wolves we had found in Imladris some time ago. There was a darker malice to them, more of understanding to what they did-. But as in the case of the spiders there was no time to ponder, ask advice, or risk mercy where it might be grievously misplaced.

I could not say if it was day still or night already, but by the time we returned to Dol Guldur proper for further orders Raven was nearly dead on Faire's back, and the rest of us looked little better. We lit fires all around the fortress, proclaiming our victory and the return of light to Mirkwood. Those who had not combed the forest with us had piled the dead orcs and spiders some distance from the fortress and set the pyre ablaze with oil and torches right away. It made a great stench and reek, and luckily the wind did not turn to drive the fetid smoke towards us. We set up a makeshift camp and saw to the wounded, taking stock of our forces. None of the Silvan elves had been killed in this, though several were wounded. Two wolves had been killed, and two Ashi'kha hurt severely. At least neither of them would die, the healers assured me, but still I went to check on them.

Shand'rel, still in wolf-form, limped towards me when I approached the pack.

'No worry. Sleeps, Lai'ashi'

She, too, was still wolf. I could not see what had actually happened, but most of her fur was sticky with drying blood.

'What did she do?' I asked, passing my hand over the bloody fur.

Shand'rel shook herself so that her ears flapped, then flattened them to her skull briefly 'Revenge. Mala'shech. Well done'

'I see' I said wryly 'Will she object to mind-healing?'

'Asleep' Shand'rel objected, puzzled. I smiled wearily 'That changes very little for me. I can reach her anyway. But I know your people can have violent reactions'

'No. No…risk'

I was glad when I realized Lai'ashi did not have the impenetrable shields I was used from Raven. I did not even have to truly touch her mind to use healing-powers.

'And you?'

Shand'rel flared her ruff briefly and bared her fangs 'Survive, I will. Saka'nor heals, too. But not when you asleep. Go back to Raven now'

I obeyed, relieved, and slowly walked back around the fortress. Raven had gathered no further injuries but paid for the day with a freshly bleeding spear-wound. He was so tired he did not even flinch when I changed the binding and carefully added some of the numbing salve Galadriel had given us. I dared not take off my own armour, but finally found time to remove my arm-brace and look at the marks of the werewolf's teeth. They had left dents in the metal and driven the chain-mail through the thin sleeve of my tunic and into the flesh. I shook my head at my own foolishness. I had fought with Raven often enough. He had taught me how to kill a wolf quickly. Why had I not used that knowledge? Because that wolf had looked at me? I should be used to killing eye to eye by now, shouldn't I?

I swore softly and replaced my armour. No wounds serious enough I would bother with them now. Raven was not asleep and watched me thoughtfully.

"They want to start tomorrow, hunting through the forest" he said softly.

I nodded "Faire will carry you"

"No" Raven said slowly "I will stay here. I am more use as guard at the moment. And this is…your part. And Faire's. You have been there from the beginning. It is your right to…have a part in its end. And you take the sword" He pushed Thorn towards me.

"That is your blade, Raven"

"I don't think that keeps you from using it"

I looked at him sharply, but he did not turn away this time. I desperately wanted him to ride with me tomorrow on this final hunt. I knew it was not possible, and had to admit that for once he had more sense than I in deciding to stay before I had to tell him to. Easier for both of us. But even if he would be comparatively save staying with the guards here I would rather know the blade with him.

"You" Raven said quietly "may actually need it more than I. Leave me yours if you want, but take this"

"Maybe you are right" I said finally "But I will not decline the offer of such a mighty blade anyway. Thank you, Raven"

Though the black, looming walls of the fortress cast a shadow over us I fell asleep a little while after I had lain down beside Raven. Whatever Celeborn planned and when his host was to meet Thranduil's forces marching from the northern forest, it would wait until we had slept a few hours.

When the waking call came, Raven and I saddled Faire and attached part of the extended armour again. Once more, Celeborn assigned the sword-fighters to me. I mounted, and found Raven holding the stirrup, grinning a little.

"Mara raime, rá-in-erume" he said in Quenya. I looked down at him uncertainly. It felt strange riding off without him. The sword that had once been called Anguirel was a heavy but somehow comforting weight in the sheath on my back. I returned his grin after a moment "H'malar shech skuyash, ashu" I said in Ashi'kha.

Chapter Notes:

Carlam: (S) red-tongue

Other Wind: Right, an expression borrowed from Ursula K. LeGuin's wonderful Earthsea-book The Other Wind. I used it to refer to the Ashi'kha Hawk, though.

Lai'ashi: star-wolf

H'tanar-ilai vach Onakir h'te: Will you take the power Onakir wishes you to?

N'har toh skree. E toh khai: I am a raven. Not a hawk.

Khanshe hr sa: 'cooked' (lit. bound by fire)

Mara raime, rá-in-erume: Q (hopefully): "Good hunting, lion of the desert"

H'malar shech skuyash, ashu: lit: "(you) guard the lair well, wolf"