Minas Tirith

Lorien / Minas Tirith, May – June TA 3019

Gildor's POV

Spring was well under way when Elrond and Arwen arrived in Lorien. They had ridden leisurely, keeping an eye on the countryside as well as enjoying the fair weather. Raven and I had stayed in our hut after our return from Mirkwood, refitting the broken and burnt boards so that it once more made a comfortable shelter. The day when word spread that the lord of Imladris and his daughter were approaching the borders most Silvan Elves made for Caras Galadhon for their arrival and the feast of victory. Raven had gone off to tell the Ashi'kha, but when he returned he carried a large bundle of fur which he held out to me wordlessly. I took it slowly. It was the finely tanned skin of the great werewolf that had attacked me at Dol Guldur, cleaned, brushed and carefully cut and sewn to make a cape such as the Ashi'kha sometimes wore it. Pieces of fur had been added to it so that the head could be used as hood, and the forelegs had been underlain with leather to serve as fasteners. In the middle of them sat a badge of leather, bearing the design I had chosen for my banner. Raven gave a satisfied nod and turned to go out of the hut.

"What about this?" I held him back.

"That's yours" he said "What did you think I spent my time with while you were off chasing through Mirkwood with the rest?"

"You killed that wolf" I said "Before it killed me"

"It is yours" Raven made a brief slashing motion, the Ashi'kha gesture to say 'end'

"Keep it"

So I did, puzzled and pleased at the same time. It was a great gift, both for Ashi'kha standards and for me. Even more since Raven had made it himself. I faced a small dilemma deciding what to wear that night, elven livery or Ashi'kha furs. In the end the decision was easy and I borrowed a loincloth from Raven and wrapped the wolf-skin around my shoulders. The day was warm but in the cool night that cape served me very well. Elrond and Arwen had not come alone. The Imladris-pack had come with them and the Ashi'kha feast merged with that of Lorien. A large fire burned at the foot of the city's hill, but the roaring blaze did not keep the Ashi'kha from performing a huge dance that was done partly with, partly without spears. Raven said it was called Bear-dance, and usually done when a particularly dangerous hunt or battle was expected or a successful one had been finished. This time, they danced as they would have done alone with their clan, without consideration for tender elven eyes. The Rivendell-pack had come as wolves anyway and changed only for the dancing. The Bear dancers painted extensively, wearing broad, spiralling whorls rather than the intricate symbols I had seen up to now. But after the great Bear dance small groups formed for an extended Raven dance. Raven gave me swift glance. I hesitated, but then I got up decisively. We both lived, and since we had not ridden together on the final stage this would be our dance at least. Once more Raven drew the different patterns on my skin, then directed me what symbols to paint on him. He was still weakened and we could not dance for very long, but since the dance was carried on with several groups it was possible to drop out and join in again as we wished.

Some time that night Elrond took me aside "I want you to come with us to Minas Tirith"

"I don't think that is wise" I said, baffled at the request.

"Bah"

"Bah? I won't go without Raven. And he can't walk all that way yet"

Elrond smiled wryly "I know you won't and he can't. You see that horse?" I followed his direction. There was a deeper darkness among the shadows where our horses grazed leisurely. I blinked "Rochan?"

"That was Saelbeth's idea and Arwen's ploy. I brought that monster all over the Caradhras because they said Raven can ride him"

I hesitated "Minas Tirith is awfully far away on a horse you don't really know. And there will be men. No one can control him then, least of all Raven"

Elrond shrugged "But when he rode the horse in the valley, it passed the Dunedain by without a glance"

"He did" I stared at the huge, black shape uncomfortably "Before we stay behind, we will try. But if the beast stamps Raven into ground, he will walk as wolf. I will have to acquire a hunting dog for a while, Elrond"

He actually laughed "That would be an interesting masquerade. But yes, before you stay behind, better indeed acquire a very wolvish dog"

Raven and I fetched Rochan the next day and slung the bridle over his head. Raven could not mind-speak him as I could with Faire and so he had to ride him blind, steering with reins and heels. The huge black horse seemed completely unaffected by the change of location, and as we rode the horses in a wide arc to the western border and back along the Silverlode I found the idea increasingly intriguing. A few days later we started on our way to Rohan and on Minas Tirith in a small group. Partly it was an incredibly pleasant journey, partly it was nearly unbearable. Thinking to heed the wolf, I concentrated on the nice things. It was both funny and very satisfactory, a curious irony, that a Mordor-raised horse carried one of us to the feast of the ultimate victory over the morgul-lord. A more pleasant irony, I thought, was that Raven with his predilection for black and cautiousness of horses had the most impressive mount of the whole train. And the most placid. The horse they had called Rochan had changed, in so far that he seemed to care a little what happened around or to him, but things that had the other horses shy and dance passed him by completely. And so did the eventual presence of men. Apparently the combination of men and closed quarters was what had regularly and effectively driven him mad. So in Rohan we left him out in the meadows, and while we travelled did not tie him with the other mortal horses when we camped. The elf-horses kept an eye on him, and he never strayed, but since he did not listen to the name he had been given either, Raven always had to walk to fetch him.

Before we came into sight of the city the Ashi'kha and their wolves took leave of us. They would not enter Minas Tirith, and it would have posed certain difficulties to explain the presence of the more than thirty wild wolves the Ashi'kha would not have left behind outside the walls. I experienced a feeling of dividedness so strong that it was almost painful. Whether our bond let me share Raven's own doubts or it was just my own, it was not important. As much as I wished to ride into that city with Elrond's and Galadriel's people and bring this ancient war to its final, glorious end, I also longed to at last turn my back on all this and go with the Ashi'kha. As strange as they seemed, there were moments my own people seemed stranger. But then we stayed, the Ashi'kha all changed to wolf-form and the great pack of wolves turned aside eastward. Before I could worry Celeborn had sent off some of his riders to accompany the wolves safely to the Anduin and to pass word in Ithilien that they were to cross unmolested there. When we finally rode into Minas Tirith one late afternoon the white city glowed a soft red in the sun's low rays.

For me the days passed in a strange mixture of acting different parts. I was either with the companies from Lorien or Rivendell, or with Raven. Both were elements of my life, but I increasingly felt I was only playing one part while living the other. And it was not the Ashi'kha part I was playing. More than I had been in Rivendell I was now impressed with Raven's ability to quietly blend in. For the men here he was 'one of the elves' anyway, and they did not see little differences that were obvious to our eyes. To a great part, he and I were on equal footing despite that. Raven had never been in or even near a city this large, and since Ost-in-Edhil I, too, had never been again. I was able to extract some amusement out of the nightly gatherings in the great halls and the careful mingling of the men with us, but for Raven the occasions were horror. The wolf had no liking for men, and in addition to keeping that part in check Raven had a hard time avoiding or, if he happened to get caught in one, extracting himself from polite conversations. Most of the time he was discreetly glued to my side, avoiding chances people might approach him alone. We came in one evening after another such congregation. It had been the last before the wedding tomorrow, and consequently more animated and chaotic. I tossed my cloak over a chair that had ended up in the middle of our small room, but the thing slithered off into a heap on the floor. Irritated, I left it there and proceeded to pull off my boots. It was summer and warm, much too warm, for such sort of clothing. Within the city-walls the heat pooled and radiated off the white pavement even after sundown. I flopped down on the bed with a groan and lay flat for a moment. Despite the obvious signs of war the city was wonderful sight, but be that as it may, it was not my choice of living space. Though I managed to keep Gondolin firmly out of my head, a feeling of unease lingered. I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head as well, glad to get rid of the heavily embroidered fabric. Raven had already shed his clothing and taken possession of the washstand beside the open windows.

"I wish they had free-flowing streams for bathing" he said wistfully "But it's all channelled or fancy fountains here"

I glanced at him "How are you doing, bag of bones? This is bit of a larger scale than Imladris"

Raven shrugged, splashing at the tepid water unenthusiastically "Aside from evenings with, how do they say, 'formal dinner', better than expected. The battlements are usually deserted, there is a short-cut down to the plains and the sea, and the Halflings are better companions than most of the Imladris- or Lorien-delegations"
"The Halflings?" I asked in surprise.

"Merry and Pippin, that is. We did some exploring of the city. It is more fun to get lost all three of us than just me alone"

I grinned "I wouldn't have thought you got lost anywhere"

"In this city, yes" Raven said darkly "No trees, and it's all the same circles, up or down. You go round so often you think it is the sun spinning not your head"

"Where did you find them? The Halflings, I mean?"

"By the river-mouth. They knew you of course, and that obviously made up for acquaintance with me. They are...I don't know…"

"They don't ask questions?"

"They do, a whole damn lot of them. But not in the way…well, not the way your people do" Raven grimaced, and I laughed "I see what you mean"

There was a patter of bare feet outside our room and a smart rap on the door.

"It's open" I said reflexively, sitting up to see who came in. I froze in mid-motion when it was Arwen, wearing a man's nightshirt, one of Aragorn's judging by the make, her hair freed of the day's ceremonial braids. Water dripped gently from Raven's hands, who had also halted halfway over the wash-stand. She kicked the door shut and surveyed the scene before her.

"Well, what happened to you two?" she asked tartly "Have you never seen me before or do you think I have never seen a naked male?"

"Well, thank you for that delicate formulation" Raven said dryly.

I shook off my paralysis and laughed "Most certainly you have. If not before, then now. What are you doing here? I don't think they appreciate the queen of Gondor slinking through the guest-quarters in her nightshirt"

"Oh Gildor" she dropped her composure and ran across the room, stepping over our untidy packs and flying into my arms.

"Uh" I hesitated, but then dismissed convention and held her tight. First of all she was my friend and fellow scout, not Elrond's daughter or prospective queen. And this might be the last time I saw her, let alone held her.

She made a small sound that might have been a snuffle or a laugh "But I am not queen yet…I have come to say farewell properly. I won't be able to talk to you freely or privately after tomorrow. They're all so set on protocol, they are"

"Definitely" I had to grin "Just your coming here alone would be cause for outrage, I suppose"

"I know what I will first teach them when I am queen" she said with a weak smile I could feel rather than see "A bit less stiffness wouldn't make the wings on their helmets droop all of a sudden. But I have come here to say thank you. For all you did for me"

"Arwen-" I tightened my hold on her for a moment "I got you into more trouble than your brothers alone managed, that's what I did"

She laughed "See, that is what I meant. You and Glorfindel talked father into letting me train as a warrior" she sat back a little, and made a small motion "Oh Raven, stay. I am talking to Gildor, but it's for your ears as well"

I could not see Raven, but heard the soft creak of the wooden panels when he hesitated, then turned and came to sit on the other side of the bed.

"I have been to him already. Glorfindel, I mean. Do you remember how mad ada was when we told him we had been sparring and riding with my brothers all the year before? And then that we would hunt orcs?"

"He was livid" I said ruefully "But you know it was a hard time for him then, and it didn't really get better afterwards. The council was probably eating him alive, and then we badgered him with all the mad schemes, and Glorfindel took our side, too…"

"Yes. So that is what I want to say thank you for. And you taught me something more important as well…otherwise I would not be here now, with Estel. Gildor, do as you told me. Don't let anyone tell you it's wrong or unwise. I know ada is at you for it, for the wolf…And Raven, don't you back down from him" she added fiercely "It is the wolf he objects to, not your love for Gildor, though he appears not to make much distinction"

"There is no distinction, Arwen" Raven said softly "It is just that the wolf wears another body at the moment"

"I know!" Arwen reached around me and took Raven's hand "But that is what my father does not see. Or does not want to see yet. But he will see that just as he understood Aragorn was no fancy of mine. So…I won't be seeing you again like this. It will be all busy and nosy people after tomorrow…Promise me you'll enjoy the days as much as I will"

I swallowed. A casual statement that held a whole world of change. The days were counted for all of us, but for her especially now, in a much darker sense. It was a fact I had never fully acknowledged until now. That was what my counsel to her had led to. Was it good or bad? I could not say.

"You know the wolf can enjoy everyday easily. I…will go along with him" Raven said after while when I remained silent. I could find no better answer so I just I nodded "I will follow him as well. So far, he has led me well"

"Good" she let go of us "I want you to walk with the others tomorrow. Both of you. Will you?"

Startled, Raven and I exchanged an uncomfortable look "Elrond said nothing to us. Neither did Aragorn"

Arwen's eyes flashed "You think I now start depending on someone else's judgement?" Then she laughed "Of course I have talked to Aragorn. And, believe me, I respect father but in this my say simply overrules him"

I took a breath "Arwen, if you ask us, we will. But we would be very stupid to start you out with a scandal right away"

"Well, first of all you have every right and reason to be up there with us. And second, as your companion so has Raven. But I will have my friends there, whether they are a comfortable sight to Minas Tirith or not. Raven?"

"I care little what they might think or say. But as Gildor said, it is not our right or intention to get you into conflict or disgrace or whatever they might think fit"

"Good. Then it is settled. They won't recognize an Ashi'kha if he bites their ass"

Raven gave a small smile "Don't worry, I won't look very much Ashi'kha. At least not enough to set them pointing"

"A pity" Arwen smiled and got up slowly, straightening.

"Look, now that you're here, will you eat with us?" I asked "I…am not good at this farewell stuff"

"Your last chance at simple fare" Raven added wryly, gesturing to our tray with cold and smoked meat, cheese, bread and fruit "Formal dinner seems just another way to say 'stay hungry'"

Arwen nodded "I fear it is. And I am not good at this either. Oh you have mead. I wonder what Aragorn would say if I drunk myself silly tonight"

"You'd be sober again tomorrow" I said dryly "You drunk your brothers and me under the table after our first patrol together. And come sunrise you were up and about for a ride"

"Did I?" Arwen shoved our packs back against the bed and stood the whole tray in the middle of the mattresses "Well, I won't try it on Estel. I think he can best either of us in drinking. Though I won't swear he'd be sober next morning"

"Won't he miss you tonight?" I asked carefully.

"Well, it's hardly past sun-down yet. And he knows where I am. I have my own friends to say goodbye to"

"Probably. Well then, my queen, share out the mead"

Galadriel's POV

I watched the elves, men and Halflings gathered in the great hall tonight. There was a wide variety of songs, jokes and performances, and a diffuse joy permeated the place. The only ones who looked out of place here were Gimli and Raven. In the dwarf's case it was only looks, I assumed, smiling. He was having the time of his life otherwise. If one thing did not plague him it was shyness. And the only ones absent yet were Gildor, Aragorn and Arwen. Whatever they had to say, assumed it was not for my ears, so I let the thought drop. Raven kept a place a little outside the laughing and cheering crowd, so obviously trying not to melt into the shadows under the balcony as I knew he longed to do. I left Celeborn with a group of Lorien and Rivendell elves and slowly made my way through the crowd to Raven. He had recovered remarkably in the few moons since the last attack, enough that no one who had not known him before could see the occasional stiffness in his motions. As Gildor had said with a small smile Raven was careful to look as little strange as possible. At the moment he wore a wide, flowing gown of black cloth, embroidered with intricate silver patterns, and I knew very well the long sleeves were there to cover his tribal tattoos. If he bothered to comb it, his truly raven-black hair was a silky and slightly curling mass that came nearly down to his waist. The only Ashi'kha sign was a black feather attached to a thin braid, a very un-eldarin adornment and one that Gildor shared despite its conspicuousness.

Even I found the two sides I had seen of Raven unsettling. He could be perfectly wolf, just as look perfectly elven. He might dismiss it, but at least to my eyes and I knew to Gildor's, he was the son of an Elda, and it showed. If only in his eyes and bouts of pride that gave him enough courage to occasionally face up to Elrond or me.

"Join me" I said when I reached him, gesturing to the boards at the other end of the hall, laden with foodstuff "If you wait until Gildor turns up, the best things are gone. You must be hungry"

I guessed I had better asked him to charge a horde of orcs than to accompany me to dinner and smiled slightly. He came with me nonetheless "I am hungry" he muttered "But you better pray I do not ruin your reputation at the crucial time, here"

I took his arm, laughing "How should you? You do not eat noisily or spill food, and in this form you will not even leave hairs on my dress either"

"I don't think so" he admitted with a small smile "Still I could not name a quarter of all these dishes. It all tastes different than it looks and is less filling than it tastes"

"Well yes, you won't find a good deer-haunch here" I laughed "Try these. It looks the least artificial"

We selected a number of things each, Raven looking for whatever he considered the most likely to have a familiar taste, I going for the things looking most curious. It proved occasion for a good laugh to go through our collections afterwards and find out halfway we could switch the platters and be actually better off with what the other had selected. Whatever Elrond's reservations were towards Raven, I wondered if they sprung from Raven's nature itself or from Elrond's own split attitude towards Gildor. At any rate I found the dark elf good company. There was something of the informal politeness I knew from the Silvan elves, as well as complete ignorance of courtly behaviour. Maybe that was what made Elrond so uncertain and hence reserved towards both Raven and Gildor. He had been raised by noble born elves and spent all his life in the presence of princes or kings, was lord of our most powerful stronghold in Middle-earth now. Raven had no inkling what courtliness was all about, and Gildor had consciously shrugged off the fetters of any court that might have laid claim on him. Or he might have laid claim to. I took it that was one root of Elrond's irritation - Gildor did not take what he considered the most desirable way. And he would have been either confused or scandalized to find the lady of the Galadhrim bantering over food-samples with a demon-wolf. I would have had my fun inviting Elrond to join us, but that would not have been fair to Raven.

The embroidered design caught my eye for a moment as we sat facing each other "Is that what it seems to me?" I asked, gesturing "It looks like an old Vanyarin pattern"

"I suppose" Raven said after a moment "Gildor says it used to signify the forests in the west…the forests beyond the city. He made it, so…"

I nodded slowly. What a subtle oozing-over into the other's world.

"Now, what do you think of this city?" I gasped, quenching the terrible taste of a dough-roll with a long draught of water.

"It is terrible to navigate" Raven said fervently "And they have no trees"

"One" I said, smiling "Though it is small still. But that is about what Legolas said, even if he was thinking more of gardens, as I take it"

"Is it…anything like Gondolin?"

I glanced at Raven "I have never seen Gondolin" I said slowly "Except on paintings. A bit, maybe. It was white, too, and built in circles, with courts and fountains and…well, two trees in that case. But it did not go up a mountain's side in spirals, it was…plain, I think. It stood on a hill in a wide, circular plain, with high mountains all round. Gildor could tell you better, I assume"

"I suppose he could" Raven said wryly "and that is the one thing he almost never speaks of, though. So I don't ask. Do you know what that is?"

"Cheese?" I guessed.

"It tastes…sweet"

I laughed "Was that disgust or surprise?"

Raven nibbled at the brownish thing "It's not so bad, really. But I don't think its cheese…"

"Do you think your people have reached home by now?"

He hesitated "No. They travel swift, but if there is no need to hurry they won't…They will go to the summer-place at the sea, not right up to the mountains yet. If the place is…still unchanged"

"I think it will not be destroyed or so much tainted" I said "Aragorn spoke to the people from the east a little while ago. They were allies of Mordor, but Sauron did not build outposts of his own there. And you are at the…northern tip, where there is thick forest, aren't you?"

Raven nodded "So far, the men avoided that part. It is warm and damp in summer, and almost swamp and frozen marsh in winter. They cannot…farm there"

"And you? What will you do now?"

"That depends on Gildor. I will stay with him. Maybe he comes with me, to the Ashi'kha, some time. Maybe he…maybe he goes to the Havens" he added softly.

"And then?" I pushed gently.

Raven shrugged, toying with his glass "I will go as far as I can"

To the sea. And Gildor would go as far as he could away from it. Ironic twist of fate that each would go into the direction the other avoided. If they found a path to go into which they both could turn…

The entrance of Aragorn and Arwen that moment caused a stir. People cheered and clapped, calling 'the queen' and 'the king' until Aragorn grimaced. Gildor used the distraction to slip in and join us unnoticed. He wore a sleeveless, black tunic which bore the same embroidery as Raven's, combined with the Ashi'kha wolf-skin cape. Oozing-over indeed. It was well that no one here could point out the subtle differences that proclaimed this fur as a werewolf's. I grinned to myself and offered him one of the small baked rolls "You look quite weary. This tastes most wonderfully reviving"

He grinned back, shaking his head "It burns the tongue out of your mouth, that's what it does. I shall remember your plot though, my lady, and consider suitable countermeasures"

He quickly brought back a plate with a wild assortment of food "I spend my time finding out what of that is edible and which poisonous" he answered my raised eyebrow "Help yourself, I would feel guilty leaving you to wander around discreetly nibbling and disposing rolls that taste like dwarven explosive"

He was right, the stuff he had selected indeed filled the definition of 'proper food'. The feast wore on, I realized, and I had better rejoin my husband for a while. Wistfully, I wished for a moment in the quiet of my glade, a chance to look into the mirror, time to asses what I had seen and what I might see.

"Give me your hands a moment, you two"

The looks of puzzled reservation I received were near identical, but when Gildor did not refuse Raven did not draw back either "As the shadow obscured my foresight when I had it, now that the darkness is gone my powers for that wane" I said quietly "Remember that: light and shadow do not go along with each other. Shadow will only be destroyed by light, and light only be quenched by shadow. You must find twilight, and each will remain the same"

"I hear your words, but I do not see their ending" Gildor said softly after a while.

"That" I said wryly, rising "Is the nature of things since time began. Watch for the partings in the way. It may not be necessary to take the straight road"

Gildor looked at me as if I had struck him, and only then I realized what exactly I had said. I nodded swiftly, and made myway over to Celeborn and Elrond, wondering.