Inspired by Cassandra Claire's "Very Secret Diary" series.
Carl's diary
Day 1
Bad day. Showed my movie to the producers, but they just
wanted to know if there was going to be any boobies in it. What part
of "gay porn" doesn't they understand? I ended up having to
make Preston steal my movie back, so if they get mad he'll be the
one going to jail.
Later
Met a girl who said her name was Ann. I offered her food
and coffee as she is pretty and would be perfect for my movie, but
fear that it might have been a bad idea. If she keeps eating that
much she'll never be able to fit into a size 4.
Even later
Had problems with Jack. Apparently he does not think
that a gay porn needs a very long script.
Day 2
Found Jack sitting in a cage. Suspect that Jack and
Englehorn might have a wired S/M thing going on.
Day 3
Think Ann was trying to make me jealous by hitting on
Mike.
Preston got very upset when Ann wore his favourite dress. I
said nothing as it looks terrible on both of them.
Day 4
Englehorn tried to put me in a cage too. I told him I
wasn't into that sort of things. He did not like that. Getting
spanked hurt.
Day 5
Ow! It still hurts to sit down, so prefer standing
up.
Discovered that Jack types "skull" very slowly.
Day 6
This is getting very annoying. Is thinking about changing
the name of the island.
Day 7
Is very happy that Ann finally gave up and started
hitting on Jack instead. Preston was starting to get jealous, and I
can not cope with his whining right now.
Day 8
The first mate Hayes is very sexy. Always had a thing for
black guys. Sadly he seems to be into little boys.
Day 9
The producers send a telegram saying I will get arrested
when we come back. Stupid producers.
They also wanted to know if
there was any boobies in my movie.
Day 10
Found Skull Island. Discovered that the natives are very
particular about their food. Suspect that might be why they killed
Mike and sacrificed Ann to a giant monkey.
Day 11
This place sucks!
The giant penises in the mud could
have been good in my gay porn if they did not eat people.
Day 12
Refused to let Ann and Jack through the gate. Is not
very popular at the moment.
Also caught the giant monkey. Is not
sure what I'm going to do with it.
Day 13
Jack is not very happy that he has to share the cargo
hold with the giant monkey, and suggested the it could sleep on the
deck. Englehorn slapped him.
Day 14
Think Ann might be in love with the giant monkey.
Whatever floats your boat...
Day 15
Told the producers about the giant monkey. They wanted
to know if it had boobies. I hate them.
Day 16
The giant monkey broke loose and ran amok in New York.
Is trying to come up with something that will make it look like it is
all Ann's fault.
Day 17
I am so outta' here!