Disclaimer: As always all these amazing characters belong to J. K. Rowling, I'm only a writer wannabe :).
Summary: Remus had decided to give up on his love for Nymphadora but what about her? This is mainly what happened when Tonks woke up in St. Mungus Hospital and the consequences of Remus resolution. The first part is from Tonks' point of view and the second from Remus'. Please read and enjoy!
A Bit Of His Past
By: She-Elfgirl
Chapter IV
I Don't Care
Nymphadora Tonks woke up with a start, at first she felt confusion as she did not recognize the place, but suddenly she remembered everything that had happened. She had been fighting Bellatrix and she had been doing fine but the Witch had deceived her. Tonks could only remember feeling an excruciating pain and then she had lost her senses. Tonks could tell now that she was in the hospital but… what had happened to the others… to Remus… who had brought her there?
"I thought you would never wake up, you lazy girl! You have been here for three hours. Guess you've found your own way to take a nap!" she turned her head quickly at the sound of his soft and amused voice, she felt her head spinning a little bit and the headache that had started to annoy her ever since she had woken up increased.
"Remus?" she meant to scream but her voice came out in barely a whisper while she was trying to sit up in her bed.
"In flesh and blood!" he was smiling, obviously relieved that she was okay and forced her gently back to the bed.
"Are you all right?" she asked hugging him tight before he could stop her. She felt him wince at her touch and her heart sank in dismay when she remembered the way he had pushed her away after kissing her in Grimmauld Place just before the battle.
"Fine!" he answered nervously.
"I was so scared in the Ministry… scared that something might happen to… to you Remus!" she continued studying his features intently to certify herself that he really was alright.
"And you, are you ok?" he asked freeing himself carefully from her embrace with such sad eyes, choosing not to respond to her remark. Tonks managed a faint smile though she had started to feel pain all over her body.
"Well, my head is exploding, all my body hurts, I feel dizzy and half feverish… so I would say I'm just fine!" she chuckled at her own joke but then she felt even worse than before. He laughed with her but there was something about him that sounded gloomy and suddenly she understood by the expression on his face that something had gone wrong on the Ministry, something terrible had happened.
"What's wrong, Remus? Harry… something happened to him?"
"No!" he answered tensely and averted his eyes hastily away from her but she perceived that he was feeling miserable about something that was beyond her knowledge.
"Then what… oh Merlin…" the truth sank on her finally "Someone… who… who died?
"Nymphadora we… well you must rest!" he decided for her and started to rise from his chair "And, seeing as you are awake now, I must leave you alo…"
"Tell me, Remus! I know that someone died…" insisted Tonks firmly. She could tell he didn't want to answer her question and something in his attitude made her suspect the worse "Oh no, it was… Sirius!" she guessed biting her quivering lip. He gazed at her briefly and then lowered his eyes but not before she understood what they were hiding, they couldn't deny the truth and with a sob she started to cry in utter dismay.
"Shh!" Remus tried to calm her down and pulled her into his strong and warm embrace, looking somehow abashed with her tearful outburst. Tonks clung to him appreciating his support, she needed it more than ever "You shouldn't stress yourself like this Nymphadora, you're still hurt and weak!" he said hoarsely while kissing the top of her head soothingly "He was fighting Bellatrix and she…" he trailed of pulling her closer to him but Tonks was crying all the more inconsolable by his words.
"It was my fault…" she informed feeling utterly guilty, she had done it, she had killed Sirius. Sure enough it had been Bellatrix's wand, but it had been her responsibility. If Tonks had defeated that Death Eater she wouldn't have… killed her dear cousin Sirius.
"It was not your fault, Nymphadora!" stated Remus steadily, starting to stroke her hair absentmindedly "How can you say something like that, how could it have been your fault?"
"I…I… it… it was my fault, Remus!" she continued stuttering between her sobs. Her head felt so heavy but she had to explain herself, although he might hate her after he understood her responsibility over Sirius' death.
"You're not guilty for anything!" Remus grabbed her face between his hands and made her look into his soft and gentle eyes " Nymphadora you are just saying those things because you're in shock, and it's natural, but you're not responsible for…"
"I'm telling you that it was my fault!" she cried out weakly, knowing full well that she was repeating herself "Can't you understand? I was fighting with her… with… with Bellatrix and I lost.
"Don't be so tough on yourself, Nymphadora!" he said in an understanding tone of voice. She was sure that Remus didn't blame her, he was too kind for that, for blaming anyone but Bellatrix; besides he seemed to understand why she was saying those things and he seemed to truly believe her innocent yet she felt guilty ecspecially because he didn't think she was responsible. "How could you have guessed what was going to happen?"
"But… but if I had not fainted he wouldn't have had to fight her, if I hadn't failed like an idiot and he would still be…"
"If you hadn't fallen bravely in combat you could… could have been in his place!" corrected Remus in a low whisper after swallowing hard "Now it would have been him here lamenting himself and my… our loss it would have been… equally painful." he finished hesitantly.
"Really!" she said softly, still sobbing while he tried to dry her suffering tears.
"Of course!" he grabbed her hands and squeezed them softly between his "You are as important to the Order of the Phoenix as Sirius was." he finished half-heartedly rubbing her hands distractedly.
"And for you?" she asked anxiously after a brief pause. Remus didn't answer her question and lowered his eyes while releasing her hands hastily "Oh, come on Remus, Sirius was more important to you than any other member of the Order, he was your best mate…" she said impatiently "and I'm sure, forgive my arrogance, that I am important to you too, maybe just as much as Sirius or… at least in a different way. And I know that if… if something should happen to you I wouldn't bear it, I couldn't." Remus looked stunned by her words and he seemed to be searching desperately for something to say.
"Well of course he was, just as you are, very important to me. You were both my friends, you still are fortunately but…
"We're not just friends anymore and you know it!" she whispered with her voice trembling "Remus I lo…"
"I know and don't say it, please!" he whispered sounding completely desperate as he got up from his chair.
"I love you!" she said out loud raising her chin defiantly. He closed his eyes briefly as if he had been afraid of hearing those same words more than anything and she dried her tears furiously.
"Don't say that!" he pleaded, his eyes fixed on the wall behind her.
"Why, it's true! Remus, look at me!" she kneeled painfully on the bed and grabbed his face, feeling dizzy yet extremely resolute "I love you, Remus! I love you so much, and don't tell me to shut up, don't tell me to hide it because I won't do it, alright?" Remus grabbed her hands and freed himself slowly from her touch as if every inch they grew apart was causing him an unbearable pain. He remained silent for a minute or so examining the blanket of the bed.
"Don't say things you can't possibly feel, Nymphadora!" he said without looking at her, obviously trying to sound indifferent but failing in his despair.
"What do you mean by that!" she said harshly. Tonks knew she was sounding a bit aggressive but she didn't care by then. She knew this man loved her and wanted to hear it from him.
"You're so young, it's… it's just a crush!" he finished with difficulty, clearly not believing his own words.
"It's not just a crush and you know it, Remus!" said Tonks firmly, hitting the bed with her hands stubbornly clenched "I love you, I love you, I love you, I l…
"Then you shouldn't love me!" he interrupted her in a determined yet bitter tone of voice.
"I shouldn't love you, you say, but why?" she asked furiously "Why are you saying this to me?"
"Well I think it's better if I leave you alone so that you can rest because…
"You just can't leave me alone! I need your company or else I'm going to be sick in this hospital." she said suddenly afraid of being there all alone… without him and he smiled briefly. "Besides you haven't answer my question, why are you…
"I'm sorry Nymphadora but…" he hesitated for quite long while he fidgeted with the sleeves of his robes. Tonks sighed deeply, she had given up correcting him about the use of her name and besides she had other concerns right then. She knew he was avoiding her question and that she wouldn't get an answer unless she kept persisting. "Well we have plenty important things to do, in the Order you know. And, as much as I'm concerned about you, as much as it would please me to keep you company this night, you need to rest and I must…"
"Stop it!" she screamed in a surprisingly strong tone of voice and he stared at her in astonishment.
"What… what are you…
"Will you stop pretending that nothing has happened?" continued Tonks trembling with suppressed anger, her head was aching and spinning drastically but she had to bring him back to reason. "Your best friend died, my cousin, as a matter of fact, I'm suffering here and so are you. And I don't know if you have noticed Remus, but I've just declared my love to you and you've ignored me completely. That's not fair! If you wanted me to give up on this feeling you could at least have said that you're sorry but you don't feel the same way about me, which I know is not true; you could have told me that this is not the right moment or that you don't think that it could work. But ignoring me this way… it's like you were afraid of something and I know you're not afraid of anything. Anyway, I'm warning you that I'll never give up on you, no matter what you say, so would you stop bottling your emotions and come back here immediately. I need you to stay with me!" when she finished talking Tonks was breathing heavily, tears filling her eyes again but Remus just stood still, staring at her for a long time, his expression inscrutable, until suddenly he burst out laughing. She felt completely dumbfounded, Remus seemed half between amused and bitter but he sat back again on the chair by her bed. "What are you laughing at?" she asked absolutely furious.
"Nothing actually, it's just that…" he laughed again and she waited impatiently. She could tell he was trying very hard to suppress his nervous laughing "Sorry, I was so worried about you… and only now, seeing you awake and discussing with me, I am completely relieved about your health. I mean, you're just fine if you can insist with me in that fervent way of yours." continued Remus a little more serious
"I hope that is a compliment!" said Tonks with a half smile and he actually laughed at that.
"There is no doubt that you have the ability of convincing people of your proposals!" remarked Remus still smiling and then suddenly he hid his face on his hands and his shoulders started to shake violently. Tonks bit her lip nervously, her heart sank in desolation, she didn't want him to suffer like that, she wanted to ease his pain. Uncertain of what to do, Tonks decided to follow her heart. She sat up on her bed close to him and hugged him tight, comforting him in his desolation. For once he didn't flinch at her touch, and didn't even protest, he just remained there still for some time.
"Alright, you want honesty but…" Remus startled her when he spoke hoarsely "What do you want me to say? That I hate Bellatrix… that I am shocked at Sirius' sudden death? I… I don't know how I feel exactly, I… I only know that… He was the last of my friends, you know? I still can't believe we have lost him forever!" he said hugging her all of a sudden and holding on to her as if only Tonks could soothe his pain. "It was so painful to loose James and now… just when Sirius had finally left Azkaban… it's just not fair!"
"I know, I know!" she said kissing his forehead tenderly and caressing his soft hair, while letting her tears run freely down her face. "He was so young, he had so much left to live for!"
"I just don't know what to do now that my last friend has gone forever!" he barely murmured.
"I don't know what to do either but we still have each other!" she said sadly and waited for a response that never came "Remus!"
"Yes Nymphadora?" his voice sounded so tired that she hugged him tighter. "Just… just stay with me, don't leave me alone, please! We'll keep each other company, alright?" Tonks raised her eyes to his in a silent plead.
"All right, I think we both need the company of a friend right now!" he agreed weakly, his weary eyes diving on hers full of gratitude and she decided not to contradict him about their supposed friendship. Tonks was relishing the fact that he still had his comforting arms around her and she didn't want him to break his embrace, which would certainly happen if she kept insisting on the issue.
They remained there, just holding on to one another, grieving for Sirius. It felt so comforting, his strong embrace, his low voice murmuring consolations although she could tell he was trying to put himself altogether. They spent the night talking about Sirius and Remus didn't, even once, mention her confession and Tonks didn't insist. It was not the right moment, besides she thought that he wasn't at all in the mood to fight right then, so she remained silent about her feelings towards him. However in the morning, before he left she decided to try her luck again on the subject.
"As for the other of our issues Remus, I…"
"Sh…" he interrupted pressing a finger softly to her lips. Remus caressed her face gently, as if he had not been able to control himself, and he lingered there a little bit. She shivered slightly at the contact and tilted her head towards his hand, closing her eyes delighted at the emotions brought by that simple gesture. Tonks wanted to kiss him so much and she saw in his eyes, when she searched them, that he wanted nothing more than to kiss her too.
"Please, I… I would rather not talking about this issue right now!" he whispered, withdrawing his hand abruptly away from her skin and she felt her face cold in the absence of his warm touch.
"Why not, Remus?" she asked in a weak tone of voice for her head was starting to ache painfully all over again.
"I have to go to Grymmauld Place and certainly the others must be arriving to visit you." said Remus with a sad smile, avoiding answering her question directly "You behave until I return!" he added kissing her forehead tenderly.
"Don't talk to me like that Remus, I can take care of myself without needing your advice!" she argued indignantly and his eyes shone briefly before he continued.
"I know Nymphadora! Oh, but I want to take care of you!" he continued teasingly but than his expression turned serious all of a sudden. "Now that he's gone, you're at my exclusive responsibility…"
"What? I am not at anyone's responsibility!" she retorted firmly. "I've told you before, I am no child and I am perfectly capable of…"
"You should rest really, I'll be outside if you need me!" he interrupted, smiling again at her fury, before he strode to the door "I'll just step by the Headquarters to see if Dumbledore needs me and I'll be back as soon as possible to keep you company or to just stay outside in case you need something." He gave her one last look before turning the doorknob.
"I'm not going to be silent, are you listening to me?" she yelled before Remus stepped outside, understanding now that he had intended to distract her from that issue, and she throw a pillow at him furiously but he had closed the door just in time to not being hit.
Tonks made a noise of pure frustration, she loved that man desperately but right now she was infuriated with him. Why was he acting like this when she knew for sure they loved each other endlessly?
Anyway she would never, ever give up on him! Tonks couldn't quite determine when all the force of this mutual feeling had began but she would never regret having fallen in love with this man. Well, to tell the truth, she had liked him ever since they first talked to each other. Remus had been so gentle in that time, so humorous, so helpful and fervent in his belief in her, even though he didn't know her enough to be certain of her capacities. She still remembered clearly how he had fought for her admittance in the Order of the Phoenix, Remus had been simply adorable back then. And she had felt absolutely fascinated by him since that very first day.
He was older than her, an active fighter and… a brave Werewolf that had been enduring so much physical pain and prejudice throughout his whole life… she couldn't help but to feel thoroughly captivated and actually attracted to him ever since that day, so much she had decided to be his friend or… whatever she could manage to be. Tonks had meant each and every word she had told Snape that very same day and she had quite enjoyed to show her former teacher that Remus was so much better than he would ever be. Remus was an attractive, handsome and intelligent man. He might look weary by a life of probations but he still was so strong and introspective. He always knew what to do in every situation and all his being and his willpower emanated a strange strength that imposed respect even through his kind manners… He was so different from the silly boys she met… well, Bill and Charlie were not silly like some others but they were both still so different from Remus.
She couldn't quite establish when she had found out she was in love with Remus Lupin, probably she had always known the same way she knew now, without needing him to utter the words, that he loved her. Yes, he had never said he loved her, but she knew he did, she perceived it in his actions, felt it in her skin and it burned in her blood.
She shook her head furiously; the acknowledgement of his feelings towards her only made her feel all the more infuriating. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why wouldn't he just admit his love for her? It would be so much easier for them both.
"You just wait Remus Lupin," said Tonks glaring at the door he had just closed, "you just wait if you can possibly escape me!"
Remus arrived at the hospital soon in the morning, he was there to meet Nymphadora. The Healers had finally allowed her to go home, after several days, and he was supposed to escort her. They were going to join some other members of the Order of the Phoenix who would wait for Harry in King's Cross that day. They needed to assure that the Dursleys would treat him well over the Summer. Nymphadora, who had persisted in be informed of every steps the Order had been taking during her staying in the Hospital, had insisted with Remus in joining him and the others in the meeting. He had agreed, unable to find an excuse that stopped her from going. They had decided he would pick her up, for he secretly not trusted Nymphadora leaving the hospital all alone right after her convalescence.
Remus wasn't sure if she would be alright but he hoped so, though he was afraid of what Nymphadora would be capable of doing once she was completely free of the hospital ties; she had been so flirtatious since that night in the hospital. Although she had never once complained, brave as she was, he knew by her reactions that every time she had moved to use her strength she had felt dizzy and in pain but that hadn't prevented her from flirting with him.
He had managed to escape her attempts until now, visiting her almost always accompanied so that she didn't get a chance to talk about their… issue or advance on him. This hadn't stopped her from flirting with him but at least she had apparently thought it appropriate not to kiss him in front of others. The few times they had been alone together he had managed to engage her in conversations about Sirius, remembering all the good moments they had spent with him; but she had kept trying to steal him kisses, whenever she had gotten a chance, tempting him beyond belief. He had kept his distance trying to be politely aloof but she had always managed a way to close their distance, and he had started to find it pretty hard to resist the temptation she represented. He actually had almost given in a couple of times, she was being extremely persistent and his will was starting to fail him.
He knew he shouldn't have let Nymphadora comfort him, he shouldn't have let her embrace him after Sirius death but he had needed it more than anything in that moment, they both had needed it. Remus also knew he could have avoided visiting her so many times but he couldn't help it. He needed to be with her; he needed to be sure that she was all right.
To tell the truth, no matter how hard he tried he would always give in to her somehow, but the fact was that he had never been so attracted to anyone, so attached, so… well he had never been in love actually. Nymphadora had all the qualities he had ever appreciated, she was unpretentious, altruistic, caring, courageous and intrepid. He felt alive every time she touched him but he couldn't let her loose herself in him. After all, being a Werewolf as he was, would he have the right to claim a normal life with the woman he loved? Did he even deserve love?
Well anyway he kept the decision he had made on that tragic night, he would not give in to his love for her, no matter how difficult it would be. He had been so worried about her unconscious state after the battle, so relieved when she had woken up, so desperate at her suffering for Sirius, so astonished at her utter declaration of love, but nothing had changed. He was still extremely dangerous for her, much older and too poor.
He couldn't stop thinking that it could have been her in Sirius' place. He missed his friend and would have given his life for him, although he had grown accustomed to his absence when he had been taken to Azkaban prison; but if it had been her to disappear through that veil it would have been even more painful in a way. Nymphadora was all the hope he had been left. He didn't have any other reason for living and he would rather die himself than to see her in peril.
"Excuse me, you are here waiting for your girlfriend, aren't you?" a voice intruded his thoughts and he woke up from his reverie.
"What?" asked Remus and he glanced slightly confused at the Healer who had performed the question, "Oh she… she is not my girlfriend, Nymphadora is a friend of mine!" he corrected with a kind smile.
"Oh… you're always here with her, I just thought… I'm sorry!" said the woman apologetically.
"Don't worry about that!" he told her smiling broadly now while he felt a strange twitch in his stomach. That woman had thought that Nymphadora was his girl, maybe it wasn't such an absurd thing after all but… he couldn't do that, he simply couldn't involve her in his miserable life.
He was certain that Nymphadora would have loved to hear the Healer's opinion about their relationship though. Well, Remus had to admit that the woman had her reasons to take her own conclusions, after all he had been acting quite different then just a friend to Nymphadora. He was the person who had spent the most time with her; he had been in the Hospital every single day to be more exact, whilst the other members of the Order would only visit her once in a while. Even her parents had been there for less time than him and that was saying something about his feelings.
"Well, I think that she is already waiting for you in her room, you can meet her there if you want to!" finished the Healer and she left to fulfill her tasks.
Remus stood up hastily and strode to the door of her room. He knocked and waited until a soft voice told him to enter. Nymphadora was ready and waiting for him, sitting patiently on the bed. And she was as beautiful as always, with her bright pink coloured hair framing a face of complete innocence, which made him suspect that she was hiding some wicked plan. She was dressed in some of her craziest clothes, some extremely mended jeans and a vivid lilac T-shirt with the words The Weird Sisters written on it. Yet somehow, she still looked absolutely stunning.
That was one of the reasons why he loved her so much; he loved her because she was not common, she was not just any girl… she was his Nymphadora Tonks, the girl who would wear just about anything that made her look colourful and extravagant. She was so different from himself. Nymphadora was so bright, and colourful whilst he was pale, with his brown hair streaked with grey, his long old coat over some trousers and a ragged pullover.
She was smiling candidly at him and only her eyes showed a little sadness due, he was sure, to the fact that she no longer had her cousin to pester her around. He knew for sure that she was eager for some action, maybe a good fight with a bunch of Death Eaters or, at least, a good discussion with the Dursleys but she was restraining herself near him and Remus found it quite amusing.
"Hi Nymphadora, I can see you're all right now!" he said with a soft smile, which she returned gladly.
"Yes, I'm completely fine, love!" she answered irreverently and he felt a jolt in his very heart at her warm words. How much he wished to… to talk to her like that… but he couldn't. He had decided not to make any mention about her previous declaration of love and to pretend that nothing had happened, he was getting quite good at that lately, so he gave her a short smile and decided to ignore her words.
"Here, these are for you" he handed her a box of chocolate cauldrons "thought you might like to eat something."
"Thanks Remus, how thoughtful of you, remembering my favourite sweets!" remarked Nymphadora sweetly and he breathed freely, smiling in relief that she was not angry with him for his detachment, though the sound of her voice was still sending shivers up and down his spine.
"Well it's not very difficult really since you don't make secret of your likings." he explained light-hearted. He always liked to tease her, she usually get so angry that she…
"You know, you're absolutely right!" said Nymphadora slowly interrupting his thoughts and she kissed him ever so softly on the lips, catching him by surprise. His heart skipped a bit and he gave a sharp intake of breath, trying very hard not to kiss her back, the gentleness of her lips almost driving him insane. After a short while she withdrew with a large, triumphant smile on her beautiful face.
How had she trapped him like this, he hadn't even seen her getting up. Nymphadora was so unpredictable, he thought still amazed by her daring, or perhaps he was becoming blissfully oblivious to her advances. Anyhow he cleared his voice before speaking, so that she wouldn't perceive how much her kiss had perturbed him. He had the impression, though, that Nymphadora knew quite well what she had done to him with that kiss.
"We have to go, the others are waiting for us!" he said nonchalantly although he was resisting the urge to pull her back, this time for a long and passionate kiss "Are you sure you're feeling okay, because if you need a little more rest I…"
"Please, I'm going to be sick if you keep insisting on me to take a rest!" she retorted still smiling as if he had kissed her back and his worries increased; definitely Nymphadora was not going to give up on him easily and he didn't want to hurt her feelings by rejecting her.
"Alright!" finished Remus smiling slightly. That much was true, she was too bright for a hospital, he knew just how hyperactive this girl was.
"Chocolate?" offered Nymphadora while she savoured one of them with a delighted expression on her face and he shook his head amused with her spontaneous attitude.
"No thanks!" Remus knew how much she loved those sweets and he wouldn't risk his neck for a chocolate, he thought all the more amused "We'd better get going!" he finished and flinched slightly when she softly grabbed his arm.
"What, you would not want to see me trip, would you?" Nymphadora smiled audaciously at him "Perhaps I'm not all that well!" he actually laughed at her boldness, forgetting for a second that they shouldn't be doing this for their own good.
"You're right Nymphadora and, after all, it's my responsibility to take care of you!" Remus knew how much she hated when he said that. That kind of sentences gave the impression that she was defenceless, ecspecially when allied with the use of her given name; but she was so adorably gorgeous when she was angry that he simply couldn't resist it. He had done it back in the morning after Sirius' death in the hospital, for other motives though. He had wanted to kiss her so much in that moment, he had perceived that she had wanted it too and that fact had woken him up to cruel reality. Anyhow he had had to control himself not to kiss her goodbye so he had just kissed her forehead instead.
For a brief moment Nymphadora glared at Remus with that beautiful, furious expression on her face but than she surprised him with a warm smile.
"Maybe I'll let you look after me just this time." she finished and, as much as he had tried to control himself, he couldn't help but to break into a fit of laughter with her.
It was so good being able to have fun with Nymphadora given the circumstances that involved their relationship, thought Remus while he drove a Muggle car to King's Cross. She seemed to be coping very well with what had happened to her cousin but he thought that all her lightness was nothing but her own way of dealing with the loss and the pain it had caused her. Nymphadora kept talking, trying to engage him in her conversation. She was being quite subtle, talking about trivialities but Remus knew she had something on her mind, he knew for sure she hadn't given up on him after his words on the night Sirius had… and he was getting more and more apprehensive about the whole situation. He knew he would break her heart somehow and that was killing him.
They finally arrived at the station; Remus helped her out of the car and they found the others waiting for them. Molly, Arthur, Moody, Fred and George greeted both of them warmly. Remus joined Arthur and Moody's conversation about the outcome of the events that had occurred in the Ministry and in the precautions that were being taken by Cornelius Fudge. Nymphadora and the twins were more interested in the upcoming show of the Weird Sisters in London that was being threatened by the new precautions of the Ministry. Molly was the only one who remained silent while she examined Nymphadora closely as to certify herself that the girl was completely all right.
"I'm just fine Molly, don't worry about my state!" said Nymphadora when she obviously couldn't take the scrutiny any longer "Remus took care of me!" she finished smiling sweetly at him and his mouth went dry. She looked so innocent right then and the need to pull her into his embrace and kiss her was almost unbearable. The increasing noise on the station made him perceive that the Hogwarts' students had started to fill the place and he came down to earth again, becoming suddenly very conscious of Molly's eyes curiously fixed on him and the identical grins spread all over the twins' faces.
"See Moody, the Hogwarts Express arrived just in time, as always!" said Arthur with a chuckle "He was afraid that the Death Eaters would attack the train!" he explained smiling briefly at his other companions and they all laughed while Moody grumbled something about the risks of travelling these days.
"Look there they are!" informed Nymphadora pointing vivaciously at platform 9 and ¾'s. Remus watched the group of friends heading in their direction.
"Ron, Ginny!" Molly hugged the kids enthusiastically. Remus heard Ron talking about something with the twins; about their shop actually and the money they were making but he turned his attention to the son of his friend.
"Hi, Harry!" he greeted when Molly had finally freed him from her tight embrace and turned instead to Hermione. Remus could sense that the boy was sad about Sirius and decided not to mention the name of his friend. Everybody seemed to have taken that same decision because neither of them, not even Moody, made any commentary about Sirius' death. Nymphadora was even smiling broadly and Remus thought that they were both dealing with the situation the same way right then; they needed to comfort Harry, to let him know he would be protected, then later they could grieve alone.
"Hi!" said the boy a little confused "I wasn't expecting… what are you all doing here?
"Well" explained Remus with a large smile, trying to ignore how close Nymphadora had come to him, so close that she was almost touching him. "we thought that maybe it would be better if we have a little talk with your aunt and uncle before we let them take you home."
"I don't know if that is a good idea!" rushed Harry to say.
"Oh I'm sure it is!" grumbled Moody who had come a little closer, limping slightly. "They are the ones over there aren't they, Potter?" Remus felt Nymphadora become immediately alert as the Dursleys approached.
"Ah Harry!" exclaimed Arthur leaving the Grangers with Hermione. "Well… let's go then?" he finished pleasantly.
"Yes, I guess so, Arthur!" agreed Moody in his harsh voice. Remus, Nymphadora and the others followed them to the terrified Dursleys.
The little group of Wizards had meant to give some good advices about the way Harry should be treated from then on but his uncle, seemed very arrogant while talking to Arthur and Moody.
"Anyway, that's not the point" interrupted Nymphadora abruptly for Dursley was now rambling about his rights in his own home. "The thing is that if we find out that you are mistreating Harry…"
"And I assure you, we're going to find out!" added Remus in a pleasant tone of voice. And they all went on with the task of warning the Dursleys until Moody, literally intimidated Harry's uncle. The man was furious but their plan was fulfilled when Alastor showed his blue eye to the terrified Dursley.
Harry's aunt, who seemed to be having a problem with Nymphadora's pink hair judging by the scandalized look on her face, started to whimper while her son tried and failed to pass unnoticed. She was probably afraid of Moody's threat of having some Wizards entering her precious home to certify themselves if Harry was all right. Remus smiled inwardly at the woman's distress, normally he wouldn't like to frighten people but this woman used to mistreat Harry and she was annoying him with the look she was giving Nymphadora. However, Remus thought bitterly that if they were terrified by Alastor's eye and their threats what would they feel if they knew that he was a Werewolf?
As soon as they finished clarifying the whole situation to Harry's uncle they all started to say their goodbyes to the boy.
"Take care of yourself, Harry!" said Remus in a low tone of voice. "Keep in touch!"
He knew that Harry felt grateful for their support and saw him leave feeling a little worried. As much as Remus had tried to sound calm, the fact still remained that he didn't know what was going to happen now, with Voldemort and his Death Eaters on the loose. And, worse than that, the Order of the Phoenix had had to vacate Grymmauld Place temporarily. Sirius had died and they didn't know for sure who would inherit the house because his will hadn't been discovered yet. The Black's traditionally handed Grimmauld Place down the direct line to the next male with the name of Black. But, since Sirius was the very last of the line, the ownership of the house would most likely pass to the eldest of Sirius's living relatives, in other words, Bellatrix Lestrange, the hideous murderer. How life could be ironic sometimes, the one responsible for Sirius's death was now the natural heir of his home.
But what really was leaving the members of the Order of the Phoenix so worried was that they didn't know if the enchantments they had placed upon the house would prevail now that the ownership of it had passed from Sirius's hands. Grimmauld Place might not be unplottable anymore and, in that case, Bellatrix would be able to enter there if she wanted to. But they wouldn't worry Harry with that just yet.
As for Remus he had returned to his own home, not that he was going to use it all that much, anyway. He would spend the most of his time underground with the Werewolves, as he had been doing during the last year.
The group of Wizards watched Harry leaving with his, now more than terrified, relatives. Nymphadora was still laughing at the expressions on the Dursley's faces and he had to laugh with her. Her laughter was contagious, her smiling so beautiful. He barely noticed that Fred, George, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were also laughing hard at the Muggles.
Given the fact that Harry had already gone home they had nothing else to do in the station. Hermione said goodbye and left King's Cross with her parents; the Weasleys returned to the Burrow with their kids; and Moody had some assignment to do for Dumbledore. Remus had been left alone with Nymphadora and suddenly he felt extremely nervous. He knew from the resolute expression on her face that she was going to talk to him now about their relationship, but he had to escape. Remus knew he had to tell her that they couldn't be together, but he was so afraid of hurting her that he preferred to escape as much as possible from that inevitable talk.
"Well, I hope you are fine now because I… I have to…" he couldn't find the courage to leave her there, all alone, but after all he had tasks to fulfil and that was as a great excuse as any other.
"We have to talk, Remus" she interrupted him with a serious expression on her pale face "come with me!" she grabbed his hand still very serious.
"But I have to…" Remus tried desperately to find a way out of this; but he forgot what he had been intending to say for her warm hand on his was blurring his mind.
"No excuses Remus! We need to talk, and we are going to talk!" that was an order and he knew right then he wouldn't be able to escape from the conversation, her determination was more than obvious.
"Alright, but where are you taking me, Nymphadora?" he asked slowly while she started to drag him along the streets until she found a de-apparition point. "You know we can't go to Grimmauld Place because… well you know, because of what had happened to Sirius and…" he trailed off because right then she squeezed his hand gently and they disapparated together before he had ended his sentence.
"This is my place, Remus!" explained Nymphadora smiling brilliantly while she dropped the box of chocolates on a table and he couldn't help but to take a look around. Only now he realized that he had never been to her place in a year or so of friendship. Well she hadn't been to his home either, thankfully because hers, though not obsessively organized, was a nice house, very different from his gloomy cottage.
They were in the living room which was filled with light coming from the opened windows. The room was nice and colourful, just like her.
Remus could sense her perfume in the air; he could see her, breathe her and feel her presence everywhere. He was overwhelmed by all the sensations this place was causing him.
"I like it here!" he said awkwardly when he perceived that she had been staring at him waiting nervously for his reaction. Suddenly he became aware that he was still unconsciously holding her soft hand. He quickly released it, shifting his feet uncomfortably, while gaining a secure distance between them. Remus knew full well that he was trapped and that he couldn't possibly escape any longer from this difficult conversation about their relationship, but he wanted to be sure that she wouldn't close their distance in a kiss. It would be very difficult to resist her if she did so. "It's clearly your creation."
"Thanks but…" Nymphadora took a step forward and he withdrew afraid of not resisting her if she got any closer. "Remus we have to talk about us!"
"No we haven't!" he retorted in panic. Remus knew what he had to do but he wasn't ready to let her down, he would never be; though it had to be done. They had to discuss their situation and he had to put an end to it before it went any further.
"I love you Remus, I fell for you at… I don't know, first sight?" she proceeded anyway "And I'm sure you feel the same way about me, and…
"I don't want to talk about this right now!"
"Then when Remus, when?" she asked sounding deeply frustrated "You can't possibly deny how you feel, you… you gave me a book you would never give to anyone else and… and you want to protect me and take care of me… and… and Merlin you kissed me, remember?
"I… I kissed my dear friend, Nymphadora for whom I was so worried about!" even before he had desperately finished, he knew he was rambling. Nymphadora gave a low chuckle.
"You always kiss your female friends like that? Nice to know about it!" she said sarcastically.
"No, I don't do it and you know it, I'm not volatile." whispered Remus frantically "I like only…" he trailed of abruptly; he had almost confessed how he felt about her.
"You're not totally denying your love for me, that's a start!" she said, her smile wide.
"No, it's not!" he said indulgently, or at least he hoped it sounded indulgent and not desperate. Nymphadora sighed dramatically.
"Yes it is and… look! I know you love me too." she folded her arms defiantly "I know you love me, Remus!" she persisted for he had started to open his mouth, even though he didn't know what to say for she was completely right. "Probably I have discovered it ever since you gave me your book, I think I always knew inside my heart though." Remus fell silent choosing his words wisely. They couldn't possibly be together, it was too much of a risk for her security; but he couldn't deny his love for her either. She was too smart to believe his lie, besides he didn't want to hurt her and, even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to utter that lie. Anyway his eyes would deny his words, so…
"I never said I didn't… but it doesn't matter how much I… we… that doesn't change a thing."
"It changes everything, can't you see?"
"No Nymphadora, on the contrary it's impossible!" this was going to be very difficult, thought Remus worriedly, but he ought to do it, he had to find a way to push her away for good, though it would break his heart irremediably "Look maybe for you this is just a game but for me… it's much more important than that.
"You know this is no game for me!" retorted Nymphadora with a shocked expression on her soft features. Remus chose not to respond to her remark because he knew he had been extremely unfair on his affirmation. He knew she truly loved him.
"I care so much about you Nymphadora, I just don't want you to get hurt! You're so young, smart and eager to fight against Voldemort but, at the same time, you never gave up your youth. You're still reckless enough to live your life like you should, having all the fun you can manage and I highly admire that. I admire everything about you actually, it's just that…"
"Than why, why can't we be together?" she asked impatiently. "I love you, you love me, I don't know what are we waiting for. Just please tell me why Remus!" she had always been an inquisitive girl, she was eager to learn, to know people; she had always asked him many questions and he had answered them all gladly, but this one it was proving very hard to answer.
"You know why!" he finally said, his voice strained in despair.
"No, I don't! Please explain because I'm in loss of a good explanation." Remus sighed miserably but this was the best occasion to put an end on both their impossible, crazy dreams and he was going to take it, he had to really. He needed to stop delaying his decision; he needed to convince her to give up on their love.
"Well we are not fit for each other, to begin with!" he stated nervously.
"What?" she laughed bitterly "How did you work that one out?"
"I'll try to make it clear here, alright?" said Remus firmly "We can't be together because I am much older than you, I'm too poor, and, in case you haven't noticed, a very dangerous Werewolf.
"So what, what do I care if you are a little older than me; I don't care about your Galleons or lack of them; and I thought I had already told you; ever since we first met, I have never been afraid of your condition as a Werewolf, I don't care…"
"You're too young Nymphadora, too beautiful, too smart and all in all too good for me!" he added in an almost inaudible whisper.
"No I'm not I…"
"I don't get it, I've just told you I am an old and poor Werewolf… a Werewolf remember?" continued Remus gloomily "A werewolf that can kill, without regret, any person who comes near him during the full moon!"
"I trust you Remus!" retorted Nymphadora firmly and his heart leapt at her words. It was great to know that she was willing to take the risk, to know that she trusted him but he had to ignore his feelings for her sake. After all she didn't know what she was saying, she was too careless when it came to danger and he had to make her understand the perils she would get herself into if they ever got together.
"Well you shouldn't trust me because…"
"I don't care!" she shrieked fervently and he fell silent completely taken aback "I don't care if you're a Werewolf, I don't care about any of those things you said. I love you, Remus, I think I always did!" she added in a much softer tone of voice.
"You can't love me, can't you see? I don't have anything to give you!" he reasoned sadly.
"Yes you have, you're everything I need. If you could only understand that!" Remus stared at her amazed with her words, lost in a turmoil of emotions, and he found it very difficult to find his voice again.
"I don't know why you like me all that much!" he said finally, still completely awestruck by her confession "I'm just a weary Werewolf"
"You've just answered your own question!" she answered smiling patiently at him "That's exactly why I love you so much, you know? Because you're a weary Werewolf!Remus,you have endured what only a few had ever endured but you kept fighting, you're strong and wise and… have I mentioned that I like danger…" in other circumstances he would have laughed at her joke, but this wasn't a situation to play with.
"We are two very different human beings, Nymphadora!" he told her unhappily "You're vivacious, you need sunlight and colours and… I'm just a gloomy man, a creature of the moonlight." she stared at him in utter disbelief.
"What? Remus you are the most interesting man I have ever met. You have all the qualities I always appreciated; you're brave, kind, intelligent, astute…"
"It wouldn't work out, Nymphadora!" he interrupted her softly.
"Look Remus you can try to lie to me but please, stop trying to lie to yourself."she said, her eyes shining dangerously.
"I'm not lying, I'm just…"
"Yes you are!" screamed Nymphadora in absolute anger and she grabbed the front of his robes looking intently at him. He lowered his eyes to her beautiful face in astonishment. "You're denying your love for me."
"I've told you I'm not denying anything, I'm just telling you that…"
"You're telling me that it wouldn't work out between us, but it would! And I know you want to be with me just as much as I want to be with you." she continued as though he hadn't said a thing and he paused before answering to that. Her face was contorted in despair and he felt suddenly mesmerized by her utter beauty.
"Even if I… if we…" he sighed sadly not daring to move for she was still clutching his robes in between her tightened fists. "I cannot even offer you marriage; you know that, do you understand what that means?
"So what, I want you all the same. I want you Remus and I don't care about anything else." He wanted so much to cry out his love for her right then, watching the sincerity in her eyes.
"It's not that I don't want to, Merlin knows how much I… it's just that we can't… I cannot offer you any kind of decent life! If we were to be together I would make you miserable!"
"No, you wouldn't! I would be the happiest…"
"I can't involve you in my life, Nymphadora, please try to understand that!" pleaded Remus.
"But I am already involved!" she protested reasonably.
"You deserve so much better than me, can't you see?"
"There isn't anyone better than you Remus and I… I love you!" she whispered urgently "We love each other… you… you love me!"
"We can't do this, it doesn't matter how I feel about you! I'm just a Werewolf I am not allowed to…"
"I don't care Remus, please!" she persisted trying to hug him but he grabbed her wrists just in time to prevent her dangerous gesture. He didn't know what he would be capable of doing if she touched him like that.
"Don't do this, Nymphadora!" he pushed her away gently and turned his back to her so that she wouldn't see the pain in his eyes.
"I don't care if you're a Werewolf! I don't! I don't!" she finished stomping her feet furiously on the floor and he combed his fingers through his hair, messing it up, in a desperate effort to ignore her appealing words. It took every ounce of control he had not to turn around and kiss her endlessly.
"Stop! Please stop!" said Remus actually turning around, "Can't you see how hard it is for me to just let go?" he continued while he grabbed Nymphadora by her delicate shoulders, shaking her slightly, "It's so difficult to stay away from you!"
"Then don't stay away, just give in, quit denying us what we need, what we deserve!" she asked with hope in her shining eyes.
"Don't tempt me!" pleaded Remus caressing her face tenderly. He pressed his fingers softly to her skin, feeling a shiver run from his fingertips to his bare heart, while still trying to control his impulses.
"I love you and I don't care if you are a Werewolf!" she merely whispered, her eyes closed in the emotion caused by his caress.
"Enough Tonks, I do care!" he said, his voice filled with desolation while he ceased his touch.
"Since when am I Tonks to you?" she asked opening her eyes and looking for the first time annoyed at the use of her surname.
"Since you don't let me be in peace!" answered Remus half-amused at the indignation he could see in her face.
"If you being in peace means we have to be apart then no, I will never let you be in peace."
"Nymphadora…"
"Even Sirius would have approved our relationship, Remus! He told me you were the nicest man I could get!" she said apparently as a last resort and he stared at her wordless. It felt good to know that Sirius had considered him good enough for Nymphadora. Well Remus knew that his friend had had some suspicions about their feelings for one another ever since the beginning; and that he had never opposed to anything, which felt great but… Just thinking about his friend was hurting him but he evoked the best of him. Sirius would be happy if he and Nymphaora got together, he was sure about that… and there was certainly something about this girl that made him feel reckless. She made him feel a Marauder all over again, she made him feel weak and strong, found and lost… Nymphadora had made him feel like he had died and reborn to a new life… but he couldn't, he wouldn't chain her to him. Sirius wouldn't have liked that, no matter what he had said.
"Yes, he also told me a few things about yourself, good things!" Remus added smiling sadly for she was staring at him a little worried, "But…Sirius wanted the best for you and so do I! Listen, I am the worst that can happen to you, you need…" Remus was silenced by the pressing of her warm lips to his.
It was the second time she had kissed him, catching him by surprise, in an hour or so, and for the second time in that day he stilled his movements. Remus didn't push her away but didn't return the kiss either, not even when she threw her arms around his neck. It was being so difficult though, the most difficult thing he had ever had to put up with. He wanted nothing more then to pull her closer, grab her face and kiss her back with all the force of the passion he felt in his heart. He wanted so much to caress her hair, to hold her tight, to just kiss her thoroughly until the end of times.
It was killing him feeling her so close, feeling her lips softly pressed to his and not responding her passion but he had to. If he would kiss her back she would think he had given in to their love. And if he kissed her back, if he dared doing it, he would not be able to be apart from her anymore. It was already being difficult enough to reject her, he didn't need to be haunted by another shared kiss, the previous one was still perturbing him to no end.
After a few moments she pulled apart, clearly unhappy by his lack of reaction and she searched his eyes for some kind of response.
"Why me?" Remus asked her breathlessly, his voice trembling in emotion andhis heart still hammering furiously against his ribs. Buthe avoided her sad eyes feeling tortured by the absence of her touch.
"I have answered this question!" she said, her voice also quivering in emotion.
"You have to stop this madness, I don't want to do you any harm!" he begged weakly "You think I'm not afraid of anything but you're wrong, I'm afraid of loosing you, more than anything in the whole world."
"Than stay with me!" she asked slowly.
"I can't! Please Nymphadora, try to understand I…" Remus gazed intently at the window, "…I do care a lot about you but that's exactly why I can't do this, I don't want to hurt you!"
"It's a little late for that, don't you think Remus?" she said trembling in fury "You're hurting me now, beyond belief, you know?" he closed his eyes briefly at her burning words, how he wanted to sooth her pain, but he couldn't, not without giving in to her.
"You will understand, Nymphadora, right now you're too young and full of life to appreciate the good I'm doing for you but…"
"Good, good?" she shrieked "You're killing me!"
"You know I'm doing this for your own good!
"I just don't know anything anymore so…"
"Well I have to go Tonks, I have work to do!" he tried his best to use a professional tone of voice.
"You're not leaving, not until we work this out!" said Nymphadora grabbing his arm steadily.
"We have nothing more to talk about, Tonks!" He said resolutely "Please stop following me around. And I mean it! This is not going to happen, you and me can't ever be together and that's the end of it."
"But Remus…"
"Nothing's going to happen between us so stop persisting on the issue." Remus tried to say all of that in a hard and harsh voice and his heart shattered in his chest when he saw that her eyes were filled with unshed tears. He had only seen her cry once, and it was over Sirius's death. And the fact that he suddenly understood that she was on the verge of tears because of him… it hurt Remus beyond belief.
He closed his eyes reluctantly so that he didn't have to see her tears falling down her cheeks but that image had been archived in his mind and memory forever. He had fought so hard, he had suffered so much not to hurt her and there she was, grieving to no end. But he would not give in to this love, Nymphadora was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he was not going to loose her by stupidity. He wouldn't loose her friendship in the name of this impossible love and one day she would probably thank him for that.
"Please Remus, I… don't do this, you don't have too, I love you!" she said weakly and he felt like his heart was being ripped into a thousand pieces at her desperate plead for him to reconsider.
"Please, you mean too much for me, too much for I to destroy your life. I just can't do it!" he answered not daring to look at her face.
"But, Remus I…"
"Don't, just don't insist Tonks!" he felt her hand leaving his arm to be placed on his face and he controlled himself not to caress her cheeks and kiss her eternally. Instead of doing that he gathered all his remaining strengths to get away from her.
Remus took her hand gently away from him, avoiding the hurt in her look and he ran his eyes intently all over Nymphadora's face, caressing every little bit of skin there with his look. She had such a sad expression and his hand flew to her face stopping inches apart from her before withdrawing it hesitantly. Nymphadora had closed her eyes waiting for the caress he never gave and he turned his back to her in order to live. Remus walked disgruntled to the door, his shoulders bent in defeat. Once there he looked at Nymphadora one last time, her grieving look almost made him falter; it hurt him so deeply to watch her like this.
"I will not give up on you Remus, I'll prove you wrong! I have the ability of convincing people of my proposals, remember?" she finished passionately when he had reached the door. Remus closed his eyes firmly and didn't look back when he was leaving but he knew she was crying because he heard her sobbing.
Once he had closed the door behind him Remus laid his back against it and closed his eyes again. Moody had warned him but he hadn't listen to him and now it was too late. He was far too involved with Nymphadora Tonks. He loved her desperately, so desperately that he felt like dying right then in the blinding pain he was feeling.
Remus could still hear her crying and he pressed his hands to his ears in an attempt to silence her. But he couldn't take Nymphadora's sobbing from his head, her tears, her disappointment; he had broken her heart and he would never forgive himself for that. Remus had never felt so much anger inside, he felt like punching a wall until the pain he had caused them both would fade away. He hated himself for what he had just done to the woman he loved; but he would hate himself even more if he had involved her in his miserable life.
One day she would be fine and would be grateful to him… perhaps one day. Remus knew that this would never happen, she might recover someday but… anyway he was doing the best for her sake, he tried to convince himself through his excruciating pain.
He had to occupy his mind with his task, convincing as much Werewolves as he could manage to choose the right side of the war and to fight alongside Dumbledore and against Voldemort. Maybe if he worked really hard her sobbing would fade away; perhaps in his absence she would find someone better than him; perhaps she would be happier without him, he thought in defeat.
Remus disapparated feeling like the most miserable man in the whole world, a man with no light, the light that only existed within the hearts of those who could love and be loved. The moment he had left Nymphadora crying all alone his light had been lost. He was nothing but a shadow now, a shadow that lived by her radiance. And if he ever surpassed the boundaries of their love he would steal Nymphadora's light. Then, together at last, they would be nothing but shadows in the mist of dawn.
A/N So what do you think about it? I hope everybody enjoyed this chapter, it was angsty, I know, but it must be. After all Remus had to put Nymphadora down somehow. Please Read and Review, that'll make my day and I would thank you forever:)!
Oh, the dialogue in the scene on the station isn't the same as in J. K. Rowling's book but I only have the Portuguese version of "The Order of the Phoenix" :( so I had to translate it by myself. Therefore it might be quite different from the original. Sorry about that!
Once again I want to thank to all my readers especially the reviewers ;) You are the best of the best!
I want to give a special thanks to Ginny (Blackolives), it's really quite flattering that you have put this story on your favourites list and on your alert list. You are right I read your Author's page; it must be great sharing the name with such a nice character as Ginny Weasley :). Oh, by the way I reviewed your story "Surprise, its Prince Charming" and it was quite enjoyable, one of my favourites actually. Well thank you so much for your support and keep reading, please .
Another special thanks to Kellie (LoonyLoopyKellie) it's so nice to know that you keep reading and enjoying this story! Your words are so gratifying and encouraging. Please keep reading my story, I'm really looking forward to your glowing reviews :).
One more special thanks to bluekiwibubble for your ever so flattering reviews, they had really brightened my day :). Thank you also very much for adding my story to your favourite stories list and for taking the time to read and review my other story. I just love your stories too and you are in my Author alert list. This way I always know when you post new works ;). Anyway you have no idea how grateful I am to you, please keep reading and telling me what you think :).
I also want to thank fork-tofu-pingpong-fish (I'm so glad you're enjoying my story, I truly appreciate your opinion ;)); Cristy (thank you so much for your review, it is amazingly flattering ); and Wren (yours was such a wonderful review, I'm so happy that you're enjoying my story all that much; thank you ever so much :)) to all of you thank you once again for your flattering reviews, you have really made my day, please keep reading and telling me what you think ;).
Thanks also to cris.carla (for your wonderful review, I'm glad you also like my other stories and thanks once again for putting this one in your favourite stories and myself in you favourite Authors. I just love your story too, it's on my favourites ); to Zippy-Wings and Sirvy-cat for putting this story on your favourite stories list; to alohomora24 for putting it on your story alert list; to French Soap for adding it to your favourite stories list and to your story alert list; and Katyna Black-Nick Novo for putting me in your Author Alert list; Keep reading and please, please leave me a review. I would be ever so grateful to all of you ;).
Finally a very, very, very special thank you to Courtney (Kara, also known as princessdza) for giving me so much support and for editing this story. You're definitely doing a great job and I'll Thank You Forever :)! Besides your reviews are ever so flattering and you have been supporting this story ever since the beginning, that means a lot to me :). And you also like my other story in English ;). Sometimes you even make me believe I could try my luck in an original work. So thank you so much for your glowing support and for, once again, having the patience to fix my clumsy grammar. To all of my readers who haven't read her works let me tell you that Courtney is an awesome Author and you should really read her story "Before It Began". I'm sure you would love it :).
Anyway it's really nice to know you're all enjoying this story. And it's quite flattering when you tell me that my characters are true to J.K.Rowling's, I try my best and it's great to know that I'm doing a good job, thank you all so much for that ;). Once again I want to give a big thanks to all of you for your support and please keep reading my story and leaving your comments. I'll update as soon as possible.