Chapter 7
Buffy

Going to Cleveland reminded Buffy of why she'd been so happy to get off the Sunnydale Hellmouth in the first place. Sure, there were vampires in Rome, as well as demons and wizards and your occasional vengeful old god. Only last week, she had been forced to disarm a fire god who had gone all pissy when Andrew mistook him for an alien. But that stuff didn't happen every day anymore, and no one went on about her sacred duty, because everyone was too busy looking for all the other sacred dutifuls out there.

She'd been in Cleveland for all of half an hour, and she'd already staked two vampires. Either Faith was slacking off, or this Hellmouth was a whole lot more Hellmouthy than she'd thought. She was a bit surprised that Faith – or Wood, for that matter – hadn't called for a junior Slayer or two long before this.

The Immortal seemed fascinated by the city, taking deep breaths as he walked along. "I don't think I've ever smelled something like this. The whole place is reeking of demonic activity. Do you feel it?"

"No, but my nose isn't thousands of years old," Buffy pointed out. "You could have helped, you know."

"Cara mia, you know I never get involved in that sort of thing." He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist, rubbing her back with his thumbs so tickles of pleasure ran along her spine.

It was very very hard to stay angry with him when he made her feel so good.

"You can't just... mmm... try to weasel out of an argument by trying... ooh... to seduce me."

"Who's weaselling?" He was grinning now, and she pinched him. Not too hard, just to get him to be serious for a while.

"What if I had died?"

"That would have been tragic."

Still not serious. "Would you have helped?"

"Helped kill you? Certainly not." He stroke her cheek. "Helped save you? Perhaps. You're a remarkable woman, Buffy Summers. I'd do a lot to keep you around a bit longer. Maybe even slay vampires."

A noise came from the shadows, and Buffy whipped up her stake, but realized a second later that it was only rats. It had gotten her on edge, though, and she shook off the Immortal's hands.

"Come on," she said. "I think it's the street over there."

She hurried her steps so he wouldn't start touching her again. As much as she loved everything he did with her body, she needed to keep her eyes on the goal here, and the goal was not making out in the middle of the street while Wood lay dying five minutes away. Maybe it had been a mistake to bring the Immortal with her, but on the other hand, she preferred him where she could see him, just to make sure he didn't run off with some pretty signorina. Or worse, tried to nail Dawn, who had already shown a disturbing amount of interest in her sister's ancient boyfriend.

Robin's building was nice and well-kept, which made it kind of odd to see one of the windows boarded up. It looked like something fitting of a much more run-down place. It worried her. In Sunnydale, people's homes usually looked homey even if a vamp had just wiped out the whole family. Denial was a way of life. If people here didn't even bother to pretend that they weren't on a Hellmouth, things were pretty bad.

They found the right number and walked up the stairs to Wood's apartment. The stairway was clean, the door your average sturdy-looking door. Buffy rang the doorbell.

Faith was the one to open. She was wearing her usual kind of clothes, but no makeup, which made her look oddly subdued.

"Hey, B," she said, giving Buffy a tired but open smile. "Good to see you, girl."

"You too," Buffy said, and she found to her own surprise that she meant it. Despite everything, she still had this strange sisterly feeling towards Faith that she didn't feel with any other Slayer. She liked some of them better, but that was beside the point. Dawn wasn't always her favourite person either. Though, she reminded herself, Dawn had certainly never killed anyone. Well, not unless they were an evil anyone, and that didn't count.

"Faith," she said, "this is the Immortal. He's my boyfriend, I guess you'd say. And this, obviously, is Faith. The other senior Slayer."

Faith sized the Immortal up in a way that was so totally like her, but also totally like what most women did first time they met him, so Buffy wasn't very concerned.

"How very lovely to meet you, Faith," the Immortal said, taking her hand as he spoke and flashing a wide smile. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Yeah?" She gave him a wicked grin, and for a moment there she was Faith in full slut-mode, looking to devour any man, woman or object that came in her way. "Nothing good, I suspect."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that."

"Where's Wood?" Buffy interrupted before the two of them had a chance to do it on the doormat.

Faith instantly snapped out of sex-mode. "In there, with Crowley."

They all walked into the living room. There was a girl chained to the wall and a walker standing by the sofa, both pretty weird things to have around, but Buffy focused her attention on the two old men sitting in the sofa. "Hi," she said, "I'm..." One of them had a ridiculous moustache. The other was black and frail-looking, and her voice drifted off. Andrew had told her about the curse, but it was still a hell of a shock to realize that this was Wood. "...Buffy."

The chained-up girl giggled. Apparently, she was one of those immature people who thought 'Buffy' was a hilarious name.

Wood smiled. "Good to have you here, Buffy." He sounded very Wood-like, which only made everything weirder.

"Jesus," she said, her own voice sounding very small and far away.

"We've pretty much covered that part," Faith said from behind her. "But we'll let you catch up."

Buffy pulled herself together. This was certainly no worse than when Giles was turned into a demon, or when Xander got that smallpox-and-syphilis curse. She smiled at Wood. "Sorry. I was just taken by surprise, that's all." She smiled at the other man as well. Wow, that moustache was really huge. And talk about ugly glasses. He looked nice, though. "You must be Crowley."

"Must be," he agreed, watching her with a chilly sort of interest. "And you're quite the celebrity – the only Slayer to ever go freelance."

"Hey!" Faith protested. "What about me?"

"I said 'freelance', not 'evil'," Crowley said. "You're hardly the first Slayer to have done that."

"Really?" Buffy asked. She had never heard of any other evil Slayers – but then again, she supposed that wasn't the kind of tales Watchers would want to tell. From that point of view, she supposed it was surprising that there were even any records.

Faith's thought when in a totally different direction. "What about Signe?" she asked, sticking her chin out. "She went freelance."

Buffy had no idea what she was talking about. A junior Slayer, or one of those that had come before her and that she didn't know about because she'd never been force-fed the Slayer handbook.

"You don't know that," Crowley said. "She left, yes, but she could have deserted her duties. Or gone evil, like you."

"Signe didn't go evil!" Faith said heatedly.

Okay, that was just weird. Why would Faith be so quick to object to the idea that some Slayer had been evil, when she had done pretty much nothing to stop herself from going all psycho-Slayer? "Clue me in here. Who's Signe?"

"The Slayer who owned the sword," Robin said.

Ah, that Slayer. The reason they were here. Buffy hadn't known she had a name - and seeing how Faith got all worked up about her, she had a lot more than that. Was Faith having dreams, or was there some other reason Faith suddenly had this inter-Slayer loyalty thing going on?

"Show it to me," she said.

Faith walked over to a large cupboard and opened it, revealing a shitload of swords, stakes and other dangerous, mostly pointy things. Robin had quite the collection. The sword Faith picked out was old and blackened, and she held it with a kind of reverie that was really weird coming from a girl with no respect from much of anything.

"Don't break it," Faith said, handing it over.

"It's a sword," Buffy said. "They're meant to be kind of sturdy." She turned it over in her hand, feeling the weight, and the warmth from Faith's hand on the hilt. Beyond that, she thought she felt something else, the presence of another mind, hovering over the sword not unlike Faith was doing at the moment. But maybe that was just her imagination.

"Slayers and weaponry," the Immortal said, and Buffy's head jerked up. She had completely forgotten him, but he had entered the living room and now half-sat at the arm of a chair, watching her with great amusement. "What is the attraction there, I wonder?"

"Don't worry about it," Faith said. Her eyes were still on the sword, but her voice had gone purry and sultry. "I'm sure yours is large enough to compete."

It was just Faith's usual mating dance, but considering the Immortal, it was hard to tell if it'd stay that way or what kind of wacky sexscapades they'd be up to if Buffy took her eyes off them. She glanced at Robin to see his reaction, but if anything, he looked amused. Maybe she'd gotten him and Faith all wrong and they were just shacking as pals, but she didn't think so. Or maybe he thought he had Faith figured out. Trouble was, even if he was right, she was pretty sure he didn't have the Immortal figured out.

Well, she had one advantage there. She knew the both of them. Still didn't know what to do about them, though.

"Can I have the sword back now?" Faith asked.

Jolted out of her thoughts, Buffy reluctantly handed over the sword. Letting go of it made her feel kind of alone. For the first time in... well, ever, she wished she was back in high school, and that she had the Scoobies to solve this instead of two semi-enemies, an oversexed boyfriend and a couple of strangers. Or one stranger, anyway. She frowned at the chained-up girl, who hadn't said a word during the entire conversation and seemed content to just watch the Immortal with mild but lustful interest.

"What's the deal with your Little Miss Bondage?" she asked.

"She's..." Robin started, and then his mouth twitched. "I guess you'd call her our hostage."

Buffy's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and she watched the girl more closely. Short and round-faced, she didn't look very dangerous, but then, neither did Faith. "In the actual sense or the cookie baking sense?"

"In the sense where we haven't got a clue what to do with her," Faith said. "She used to be a vampire until Robin gave her the magic touch. Now she's... well, a pain in the ass. Too much of a vampire to be safe, too much of a human to stake."

Buffy opened her mouth to remind Faith that she'd staked a human once before, but shut it again, suddenly hearing what Faith wasn't saying. She as good as admitted that staking a human had affected her after all. Of course, Buffy had known that for a long time, but she hadn't known if Faith had known it, or been willing to admit it.

"I get that," she said softly.

Faith shrugged. "Ah well. Crowley's enjoying it, and we got bigger things to worry about. You staying here or at a hotel?"

"That's the bigger things you have to worry about?"

"No, that's the question I ask so I don't have to worry about the bigger things I have to worry about. So, which is it?"

Buffy considered the question. As far as damage control went, there was no winning move. On one hand, a whole hotel full of women who'd be more than willing to throw themselves over the Immortal. On the other, Faith. She sighed.

"I guess we'll stay here."

Buffy woke up in a strange bed, with only a dent in the mattress to remind her that she hadn't gone to sleep alone. She sat up, listening to the sounds that emerged from the dark. The street was mostly quiet, with the odd car whooshing by now and then, but she heard muffled voices from inside... talking? No, moaning. Sex sounds - and it wasn't from upstairs.

She got up and walked out into the living room. Robin was sitting up on the couch with his blanket wrapped around him, and he gave her a wry smile. The vampire girl was lying on her side on the floor, stretching her chains so that she'd get as close to the bathroom as possible.

"I guess my boyfriend's in there," Buffy said with a nod towards the bathroom. It wasn't a question. Even if the only other option hadn't been an old geezer who looked like a cross between Joe Stalin and Groucho Marx, she would have known from the way Ella reacted. The Immortal was the only man she knew who could send women into heat just by being around them - well, the only man apart from any idiot who knew how to slap together a love spell, anyway.

"That's right," Robin said.

"And your girlfriend?" That was a no-brainer too, but Buffy was still hesitant to ask.

"Right again." He sounded very calm, but looked a bit gloomy.

Buffy sat down on the couch. "Bad combo, those two. To much sex drive in the same room. I should have known."

"It doesn't take an immortal sorcerer to make Faith have sex," Robin pointed out.

"He's not a sorcerer," Buffy said automatically. The Immortal himself usually found it amusing that people assumed his skills were revved up by magic, but it always pissed Buffy off - she was the one supposed to be under his spell, after all.

"What is it then? It's not like he's all that attractive. Scrawny-looking, and that nose..."

"His nose has character," Buffy said, trying hard not to hit Robin in the head. That whole jealousy issue was bound to cloud his judgement. "But you're missing the big picture here. He's got thousands of years worth of experience."

"Well, then. Sounds like something worth taking for a test drive."

Was he being sarcastic? She didn't tune in one any sarcasm-vibe, but then, she'd always had a hard time figuring out what was what with him. "You... don't mind?"

"Considering that we've both had plenty of sex with people who didn't have six thousand years worth of experience, I'd be rather hypocritical if I did."

That sounded like a pretty level way of looking at a relationship. Trouble was, for the first time in the conversation, she could hear a quiver in his voice.

"If you say so," she replied.

The moans from the bathroom became louder. Tonguework, Buffy guessed. Either that, or that thing he'd do with your feet. And Faith? What was she doing to him? Buffy couldn't see her as the type who'd just stand still and enjoy the ride. All about putting the "pro" in "proactive", Faith.

Robin sighed. "Thing is.. I can't do that, now. If we don't break this curse, chances are I'm going to die without ever having sex with Faith again."

"Ouch," Buffy said quietly. Looking at it from that angle, the whole situation got a lot worse - and it wasn't like it had been all hugs and puppies so far. She should have checked into a hotel instead. At least then she would have been the only one tortured by sounds like these. Or she shouldn't have come at all. Or not have brought the Immortal. What was he going to do in a fight anyway - stand by and take notes? There was something pretty irritating about a guy who was too jaded for stuff like big cosmic fights between good and evil.

Listen to the noises, she thought she might even have preferred it if he had stayed at home seducing Dawn. At least then she wouldn't have had to witness it - and Dawn was just dying for the chance, anyway. Might have been a good way to stop the endless bickering.

Talk about a rock and a hard place.

"I take it you two have an open relationship as well?" Robin asked her.

"In a sense," she said. "Though it's really more of a 'he sleeps with anyone he likes unless I peel them off him, and he keeps telling me I can do the same thing' relationship."

"Doesn't sound ideal."

She snorted. "You can say that again."

It had been ideal, in the beginning. No more heartbreaking passion, or wallowing in badness, or even demands of emotional closeness. Just sex all night long, cappuccinos in the morning, and then more sex. Easy, guilt-free, no risk of babies or STDs and yet the ability to go out in the sunlight.

The only thing she'd had to trade in was the idea that she meant something to him. Or - if she was to be honest with herself - that he meant something to her. Something beyond a really good time that made her unwilling to let go or share.

"Do you think they'll let me join in?" she asked.

His eyebrows shot up. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know. Maybe." She couldn't bear those sounds much longer. She felt like Ella, stretching her chains, only she had the strength to keep seated without metal to bind her. God, so close and so far away... and with Faith of all people. Made it the second time Faith had moved in on her boyfriend, and this time with mutual consent. She bit her lip, hard. "No. But I hate being left out of it."

"Television?" Robin suggested.

She could totally get on board with that. "Yeah, but what's on at this hour? Bad porn?" The sad humour of that comment struck her a split second too late, and she had to laugh.

Robin laughed too. "Only one way to find out."

He gestured for the remote, and she grabbed it, turning on the television. She zapped past a couple of empty channels, a pool tournament, something that looked like a cheesy SF film (she could always return later), a news show...

"Hang on," Robin said, leaning forward with a frown on his face. "What was that?"

Buffy zapped back to the news show.

"...from Cleveland, the riots are increasing, with three more people reported kidnapped during the past 24 hours..."

Buffy sighed at the pictures of violence on the screen. "Vamps recruiting. Is it always like this?"

"It's never like this." Robin looked stunned. "We know our jobs, we..." He drifted off, staring towards the bathroom. The noises had come to a sudden stop, and soon Faith rushed into the living room, buttoning up a too-large pajama shirt. It wasn't the Immortal's, at least. Buffy wondered if it was Robin's.

Faith glanced at the TV and turned it off while the news anchor was still talking about the riots. "Yeah," she said breathlessly, spinning around to face Robin and Buffy. "About that..."

"You knew?" Robin asked, sounding more incredulous than angry.

"You knew!" Faith said. When Robin seemed to remain as oblivious as Buffy felt, Faith nodded toward Ella, who was sitting with her knees pulled up against her chest and a smug expression on her face. "Pompous Shithead guy is still making new kidlets. I'm guessing we only egged him on by getting hold of this one."

Robin scowled at Ella, who put her tongue under her lower lip at him, like one of his students might. He then turned to Faith, looking at her silently for a very long time.

The Immortal came out from the bathroom, robe open so his naked chest was visible. Buffy had no illusions about it being an accident. "What's going on?"

"Evil-fighting stuff," Buffy said. "You can go back to bed if you like."

He lifted one slender shoulder in a shrug and went into the bedroom without another word.

"So why are they doing this?" Buffy asked. "Vamps aren't usually this keen on creating competition for themselves."

"They're getting jumpy," Faith said. "They're not used to Slayers that can call in for backup."

Robin shifted in his seat. "You'll have to go in again, you know," he said. "Both of you, the sooner the better."

"Yeah," Faith snapped, "because that went so well last time."

"They're just gonna keep coming," Buffy pointed out. "We need to nip this in the... well, not so much the bud as the blooming-thingy-that-isn't-all-over-the-place-yet."

"Great," Faith said. "Go in there. I got a curse to fix."

"Faith..." Robin sounded very tired. "It is important that even now, we... you know... keep our eyes on the mission."

She spun around, almost snarling. "I thought I'd explained to you and to Crowley that you are the mission!"

Considering that she'd just been banging another guy in the bathroom, that was a bit rich, and Buffy couldn't stop herself from scoffing. Faith didn't seem to notice. She was still shouting accusations at Robin, half of which Buffy didn't understand, and Robin answered them with his arms folded and his voice all principal-y. Buffy wondered if he meant to break up with Faith or send her to detention. She also wondered if he had any idea how condescending he came off.

She sat down, figuring that she might as well wait this out and see if they came to some sort of conclusion.

All that happened initially was that Robin lost his temper too, and the two of them were yelling at each other.

"Not everything in this world is about what makes you happy!" Robin shouted.

"Well, if you're too fucking stupid to want to save your own life..."

"It's not like we have a clue! You might as well be out there, do some good!"

"I tried that! We're gonna wait until you're back in the game!"

"Well, what if I nev..."

"Shut up!" Faith's voice went into falsetto.

Robin did shut up, and the two of them glared at each other.

"You shouldn't get so upset," Faith said in a much lower voice. "It's bad for your heart."

"There's nothing wrong with my heart," Robin said, but he too was speaking in a normal voice again. "How about we give it another day, and tomorrow night you go get them, with or without me?"

Faith thought about that, and then nodded. "Fine. Tomorrow night it is. That's okay with you too, B?"

She was given a vote on this? "Hey, I'm here for the slayage," she said. "Any night's fine with me."