Hi guys...
I know this update took like forever and I'm very very sorry about this :( ...I so hate it myself when people don't update their FFs regulary...So, I'm sorry! ;)
But like some of you already know, I suffered by a gigantic - overdimensional writing blockade the last few weeks and whenever I started to write again nothing usable came out of it. Believe me...that wasn't pretty ;)
But now I've got my 'flow' back and I wrote this chap in within just like 4 days...and somehow I'm very proud with the outcome of this, although it's not that good... :huh: ;)
So, I just hope you like it and read and review... : ;)
Oh, by the way...this chap is the longest I ever wrote until now...9.847 words :D
And special thanks to my 'coach' Steff...Lova ya, schnuggi
Chapter 4: An Old Friend Returns
"Suuuummmmmmer?...Suuuuummmmmmer?...Summmm?...Sum, come on!", Seth whined as he followed his girlfriend through South Coast Plaza at 10:30 AM on a holiday day.
"Quit it, Cohen.", she replied unnerved.
They were at the mall for not even half an hour and Seth's whining for the last 15 minutes of that had caused her mood to drop even more…
"But Summer…why are we even here?", he pouted, gesturing with his hands for emphasis.
"Because I need a new dress for the New Years party."
"Yeah, because you really have nothing to wear."
Summer shot him a meaningful look and stormed ahead, leaving him behind for a moment, still pouting, before he took of to catch up with her.
"Hey, come on…What's wrong?", he asked once he reached her side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
She tried to wiggle out of his embrace but gave up after a while
"It's nothing!" Now it was him who gave her a meaningful look. "I guess, I'm just a little moody right now. And your non-stop-complaining sure isn't helping."
"I'm sorry, okay! But-…I dunno. I kinda feel out of place here!", he said and gave a nod into the direction of a 'Victoria's Secret' store…"But when I think about it….Ouw! What was that for?"
"You're unbelievable, you know.", she said trying to give him a threatening glare, which almost immediately turned into a smile as she drew him a little closer to her.
"Oh, you know you love it, Seth stated teasingly and kissed her tiny nose. "But you in this red transparent thingy….wow!" He got a dear in the headlights look and his dimples appeared on full affect.
"Hmm…who knows. I just heard that a one year anniversary is a very special date, you know."
Seth stooped dead in his tracks and watched her swinging hips as she walked slowly away from him, backwards, facing him the whole time and giving him this amazing smile, that was just reserved for him.
"You coming?", she asked teasingly as she turned around and picked up pace.
Seth took one last quick glance at his new best friend, how he called the red lacy negligee in the window, before he shook his head and sped after her.
Two hours, 20 stores and 500 of Seth's quick prayers to heaven that the mall would just burn down later, Summer had finally found a dress for the party…and some tees, two jeans, three skirts, two purses, two new pairs of shoes and a new lip gloss, which of course she couldn't live without.
"Are you done now?", Seth asked completely drained out and just the tiniest bit hopeful.
"For the moment!... I'm starving!", she stated and wiggled her nose to the smell of pizza that came from the nearby pizza hut.
"Well, you're not the one carrying the bags, so…", he said under his breath.
"I heard that.", she said as she made a beeline for the nearest free booth.
"So, what do you think about it?", Summer asked Seth, who just returned to the table with two huge slices of pizza and two cans of 7up, as she hold the dress up a little, so that the upper half was visible and blocked his view on her and the other half was still in the pink bag.
"Ummm…I duomno…I thumk sasss rellla mob…", Seth mumbled, chewing on the half of his slice of pizza at the time, trying not to suffocate by it.
"Well, you really are a big help."
Seth made another attempt to talk with full mouth, but decided against it as Summer shot him a threatening glare across the table.
Washing it down with some 7up, he took one large breathe, trying to bring the amount of oxygen in his body back to normal.
"Okay, what am I supposed to say, Sum? It's hot! I love it and you look just stunning in it, although I might not give the most objective opinion here, seeing that I'm sleeping with you… another glare I mean, if it's so important that it has to 'say' something special, why didn't you take Marissa with you? I'm just a guy…", he whined, giving her his best puppy dog eyes and a full pout.
"Well, I guess you're right, according to your just non existent taste in clothes!", she answered, grinning at him "And believe me if I say that I would have rather taken Marissa with me, although I'm questioning her choice in clothes lately too, but-…well, that's not the point. She dumped me! Okay? Probably another huge Johnny crisis…", her eyes darted back to the table top, kind of ashamed and of course pissed off that her best friend had dumped her or just that she let it get to her so much, and took another bite from her pizza, which already had gotten a little cold.
Seth looked at her questioningly. Summer had appeared in his room this morning at 9:00 with this seductive sparkling in her eyes and had dragged him out of the bed, promising him to do something special, which had ended…well, here…
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, that Coop was supposed to pick me up and come with me since we both wanted to get new dresses, you know, spend some time together…but she dumped me, okay.", Summer answered in a much more bitchy voice than she had intended.
"Oh, and here I thought you just wanted to spend some time with your awesome boyfriend."
Summer just shrugged at Seth sarcasm. It wasn't that it was all terrible that she had to go with Seth…she kind of even liked it, although he really wasn't any help at all. It was more the thing with Marissa that bothered her. Ever since she went to Newport Union she had gotten lost more and more in the whole Johnny spiral, spending less and less time with her actual friends and of course her.
And now that she was moving in with her mom again, Summer was just a little freaked out that she might lose Marissa as her best friend…and of course she was pissed. Nobody dumped Summer Roberts…
"Aww…I do, sweetie.", she said in mocked voice, smiling at him sympathetically. "It's just that it bothers me that she dumped me for Johnny…again. I mean, she didn't even call. Duh…"
"Yeah, she seems kinda out of it lately…more than usual."
Seth and Summer shared a knowing smile.
"I mean, what the hell was that thing at the Diner last night?"
"I dunno. I really thought Ryan would freak out or something.", Summer stated truthfully, swallowing the last bite of her pizza.
Seth looked at her. Should he tell her what Ryan had entrust him with? Well, Ryan had told him in a brotherly hour of honesty but yet, he hadn't really made Seth promise to keep it a secret…
"Yeah, about that…."
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Summer stood in front of her huge body height mirror in her room, holding her new dress against her.
It was lime green and although it had quite a nice cleavage, it didn't show too much. The dress had twistedstraps to pull around the neck and though it was pretty tight down to the waist the skirt part was flowing and reached to just beneath Summer's knees. The little glittering silver stones that it had along the hem and around the edge of the little triangles to cover her breast (just like a bikini) shimmered in the sunlight that came through the windows and Summer smiled at herself in the mirror – definitely a great dress.
Quick steps echoed through the hallway, followed by Marissa's stressed appearance, as she stormed into Summer's room and let herself fall onto the bed, sighing dramatically.
"Omg…omg…omg…"
"Well, hello to you too, Coop.", Summer greeted her obviously freaking out best friend, still a little pissed that she had dumped her that morning.
"Omg…", Marissa just continued to mumble, looking into space.
"Kinda nice to see you alive and not raped and dead lying in a pillar by the street or being abducted by aliens.", Summer stated, the sarcasm in her voice more than obvious, as she stood in front of Marissa, rolling her eyes at her behaviour.
Marissa though just looked at her confused and raised one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows, showing that she had no clue what Summer was talking about.
"You, me, shopping, this morning….any bells ringing?", she went on, hand on her hip.
Slowly realization drowned over Marissa and her eyes got twice their usual size.
"Omg…I'm so sorry, Sum…I totally forgot about this, but-…but I'm so confused right now…Omg, I can't believe he did this…"
Summer let her arms fall down to her sides and sat down next to her best friend, putting on hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, what's wrong? Did anything happen?"
Marissa looked at Summer with a mixture of confusion, hurt, shame and embarrassment.
"What am I gonna do now? Everything's just messed up!...", Marissa sighed loudly and looked as if she would start to cry any second.
"Hey, Coop…tell me what's wrong!", Summer pleaded, knowing it must be something huge and important.
Marissa turned to her side, bending on leg beneath her and Summer mimicked the gesture, so that they both sat face to face on the edge of the bed.
After one long final sigh, Marissa finally spilled it…
"Johnny kissed me!"
"OMG…"
Both girls looked at each other with wide eyes.
"What kind of a kiss?"
"Huh?"
"What kind of a kiss was it? A quick peck or a movie-kiss…or did he jab his tongue into your mouth?"
Marissa looked kind of pained at this question but answered anyways…
"Ahm…last!"
"OMG…I knew something like that would happen sooner or later. But you told him to back off, right? You told him you are with Ryan!...I mean, he even knows you're with Ryan. You all are friends….Jeez, what did that guy think he was doing? I'm so gonna kick-…", Summer stopped mid-ramble at the sight of her best friend, sitting in front of her with the most guilty and ashamed expression, shaking her head slightly.
"No?", she asked Marissa, shaking her own head for emphasis. "What does this no´ mean?"
"I didn't."
"You didn't what, Summer asked confused and in rage about Johnny's rudeness.
"I didn't tell him to back off." Marissa's voice was just above a whisper and she shyly played with the hem/end of her white jeans, not acknowledging the utterly shocked look, Summer gave her.
"I-I….You-you what?"
"I kinda kissed back, okay!"
"Okay? You know you have an amazing boyfriend, right?", Summer asked, not believing what she had just heard.
"Yeah, I know…But-…"
"But?...There's a but?"
"I didn't do it intentionally or something like this…I just got lost in it somehow. Ryan had been an ass earlier and then I got to Johnny's and he was so happy about the present and I was happy that he liked it and then he just kissed me…", Marissa explained herself as if she had just done the most normal thing in the world.
Summer, though, just looked at her through wide eyes...
"So what? It's all Johnny's fault now…or even Ryan's?
"Sure! I mean, if Ryan wouldn't have had to play the jealous jerk and had come with me, nothing of this would have happened. And Johnny just kissed me! He just was all thank you´ and it's amazing´ and in the next second he was kissing me. And now I have a boyfriend, who is mad at me due to nothing and a friend, who's completely confusing me…", she said, sighing loudly.
"Coop,…do you even listen to yourself?"
"Why?"
"I mean, five minutes ago you've told me that you kissed Johnny back! Of course it was wrong of him to kiss you in the first place, but he doesn't have a girlfriend, he isn't in a relationship…But you are! So how can this not be your fault?", Summer tried to reason with her…
"Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea…But we just kissed. It's not like I slept with him or something. And Ryan was just a jerk last night!"
Summer's jaw fell at the words of her best friend. She was so far away from reasonable that summer didn't even know if she really meant it, though.
"Ryan wasn't a jerk, Coop. He was just mad and probably even a little hurt and pissed of…God, do you even realize what's going on lately? Since your first day at Newport Union you grew into a huge Johnny-fan. How was Ryan supposed to react!"
"Crap! I'm not a Johnny obsessed or anything."
"Yeah, you are. It's all about him, all the time. How he looks, feels, what he thinks and does. And you just more and more ignore Ryan. I mean, you knew that Johnny has a thing for you, but instead of just staying away for a while you kinda forced yourself onto him. And now you're wondering how something like this kiss could happen? Duh…You give mixed up signals here, sister.", Summer explained, rolling her eyes.
"No, I'm not. I told Johnny I'm with Ryan. He is just a friend."
"Well, maybe you need to tell him again, cause obviously he didn't quite get it the first time. And more importantly you need to tell Ryan."
"Why that?", Marissa asked completely confused.
"Because that boy loves you, Coop. And he's afraid that he might lose you…"
"Why would he think that?"
"Oh, I dunno…maybe because you got Johnny a very expensive and thoughtful Christmas present and him a pair of to small wife beaters and a …shirt. Or maybe because you dumped him again last night to meet Johnny…Ryan got a Bar Mitz-Vah to help Johnny and you kinda let him down now…and when he has enough you go on and kiss….Johnny."
"God, Sum…How often to I have to say this? He...is…just...a...friend.", Marissa said angrily, almost spiting the words at Summer, who swallowed hard, taken aback by her sudden outburst.
"Yeah, a friend, who loves you and who you made out with, while you had a fight with your boyfriend due to just this particular friend."
"But I love Ryan! Damnit Summer, I didn't come here to be lectured.", Marissa cried out. "Maybe it was a mistake to even come here and tell you! I just thought you were my best friend and that you would understand…", she now screamed, getting up form the bed and stood in front of Summer. "But what was I thinking? How could YOU understand!...Let's face it, Sum...The whole thing with you and Seth is just sheer mockery. And now you're lecturing me about kissing Johnny and not being honest with Ryan, while you two have the most dysfunctional relationship ever…"
Summer couldn't believe what she had just heard and sat frozen to the spot, not able to say or do anything…Where the hell did this come from?
"I don't know if you just like the idea of the prom-queen and the school-geek being in love or if you just like the way he worships the ground you walk on…BUT THIS IS NOT LOVE! You don't even know what love is, Summer. And you already hurt more people in your life than I'll be ever able to even get to know, so STOP being so damn self-content!"
Marissa's words hung in the air like gunfire and Summer needed all her strength to not jump up and hit her or start to cry uncontrollably. How could she dare to even say anything close to this? If one person should know how much she felt for Seth, it should be her best friend. Marissa had seen how much she had fought for him and how much she had suffered when he had left and now that…
She felt how her rage grew in her with every passing second, until she sprung up and yelled in Marissa's face…
"OH, DON'T GIVE ME SHIT LIKE THIS! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I LOVE HIM! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN YOU LOVE RYAN, OR YOU'LL BE EVER ABLE TO LOVE SOMEONE! "
"OH, YEAH? WELL, I RISKED MY LIFE TO PROTECT RYAN…AND WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOOT SOMEONE TO SHOW THAT YOU LOVE, COOP! AND YOU DIDN'T RISK YOUR LIFE…YOU DID RISK RYAN'S AND TREY'S! THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE!
…AND BESIDES, IF YOU LOVE RYAN SO MUCH…WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NEED SOMEONE ELSE? OLIVER, DJ, ALEX,…JOHNNY?"
"SEE, WHO IS TALKING HERE! THE GIRL, WHO LIVED AN AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL FOR ALMOST A YEAR! WHAT WAS THE WHOLE THING WITH ZACH AND SETH? SETH….ZACH…SETH….ZACH…SETH…"
"OH, THAT SOOOO WAS DIFFERENT, MARISSA! I WANTED TO BE WITH SETH THE WHOLE TIME, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GET HURT! AND ALTHOUGH I'M NOT TOO PROUD THAT I LED ZACH ON, I KNEW THE WHOLE TIME WHO AND WHAT I WANTED! BUT YOU DON'T! YOU NEVER DID! SOMEBODYS JUST GOOD ENOUGH UNTIL SOMEONE BETTER COMES ALONG!"
"WELL, AT LEAST I DON'T USE PEOPLE INTENTIONALLY!"
"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? THAT I USE SETH?"
"YOU'RE NOT REALLY THINKING THAT YOU'RE GONNA GO TO COLLEGE WITH HIM…ON THE EAST COAST! COME ON! YOU'RE LEADING HIM ON AND USE HIM AS LONG AS YOU WANT AND HE IS AVAILABLE!"
Summer didn't care to even answer to that or to think about what a complete bullshit her so called best friend was yelling at her, as her logical thinking came to a halt and her small palm smacked against Marissa's cheek forcefully.
Marissa looked shocked, before he eyes got smaller and started to shoot daggers at her. Opening her mouth to say something, Summer pushed her tiny hands against Marissa's shoulder, hustling her out of the room…
"OUT! NOW!", she yelled, before she slammed the door shut in the other girl's face and started to cry.
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Kirsten and Sandy sat in the kitchen, both holding a mug full of hot coffee and had placed a plate full of left over Christmas cookies in front of them.
"So, that means you're cool with it now?", Kirsten asked as she took a sip from her coffee, looking meaningfully at her husband.
"I guess I have to be! I can't force her to quit the job and to look after her own health or to give up a relationship. I just-…It still bothers me, though. I don't want her to get hurt again. She's my mom and I care about her."
Kirsten smiled at Sandy's words…
"Oh, a little momma's boy…I see.", she teased, but instead of a smile she just earned a slight frown.
"Maybe it would have been better if I were one.", he barely whispered, looking down at his hands.
"What do you mean?"
Sandy looked into his wife's blue eyes, eyes he could still drown in for hours, even after 20 years of marriage.
"I dunno, maybe if I hadn't left back then…maybe everything would have gone different ways…better ways."
Sandy knew that he had broken his mom's heart as he had left his home right after he graduated and had gone to California to start a life she hated. He had left her alone. Alone with two little kids in the Bronx of New York City, not calling or getting in contact with her once until he had told her he would marry Kirsten Nichol, the daughter of maybe the most representative man of his mother's detestations.
"Sandy-…", Kirsten started to say, but he cut her off.
"No, I should be there for her. Protect her. I don't know, maybe if I would have been around she hadn't got cancer and she hadn't met Bobby or any other man who just hurt her for that matter."
"Sandy, I know you love your mom and that's great, but it's not your job to look after her all the time. You're her son, not her husband or father. You can't tell her what to do and you can't protect her from getting hurt or anything, not even when you would be around her all the time."
Kirsten had tried to comfort him and calm him down, but somehow she had pushed the wrong buttons…
His body tensed and his mood changed from thoughtful and a little sad to utterly angry.
"No, you're right, that's not my job…that is the job of a husband. That was the job of my father. But Kirsten, do you know how it is to live with an alcoholic dad? Do you even imagine how it is when your parents fight every freaking day of your life and then suddenly one is missing and you have to take care for your family, because nobody else can or does?"
Sandy's voice was harsh and cut the air as angry tears formed at the corners of his eyes.
"Kirsten, I was 8 years old as my dad left. He just left the apartment and never came back. No call, no letter and of course no money…he just wasn't there anymore. He just left a pregnant woman and two little kids in the middle of the Bronx all alone. Do you know what that means? Can you even imagine anything close to this? My mom was a mess and my brother just didn't stop crying for weeks and I hated my dad. I hated him with everything that was in me. I can't even remember him, but I remember the feeling of pure and utterly hatred, because that's all I ever felt for him and all I ever will….And I just refuse to let anything close to this ever happen again. I won't let my mom get hurt again like that. Do you understand this?"
Kirsten looked at him through teary eyes. No, she couldn't understand what his childhood had been like. She didn't know how it was to grow up in the Bronx with everything that this brought with it, cause she had always been this upper class girl. She had been born into this world of money, cocktail parties, private schools and ivy leagues, and she had never had to experience the abandonment of a parent. But although she knew that her understanding couldn't reach this dimensions, she tried. She had tried as they had got to know each other all this years ago and he had opened up to her about his family for the first time and she tried to understand and be there for him now…
Sandy looked at her…angry and broken, a side he didn't show so often and never in front of anybody but her.
She wanted to tell him that he was right somehow, but that it was his mom's decision. That she needed someone in her life, a man by her side, and that he had to let her go. That he had to stop worrying and just be there for his mom whenever she needed him and for now just to be happy for her. But she didn't say anything. She just wrapped and arm around him and pulled him close to her…knowing that he already knew all of this and what to do.
Sophie Cohen clenched her eyes shut as she leaned back against the cold wall of the den. He hated him and she couldn't even take offence by it, cause he had been right with everything he had said…
But how was she supposed to tell him now?
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Seth closed his eyes as he voluptuously chewed on the fresh bagel. Although he loved Summer with all his heart, shopping with her could be hell…even if he was allowed in the changing cabin.
Snatches of their conversation during lunch came flowing back into his mind.
"So, he thinks Coop doesn't love him anymore?"
"I dunno. It kinda sounded like that. He's pissed that she's all over Johnny the whole time and-…"
"But she does…love him, I mean."
"Yeah, I know. That's what I've told him, too, but-…Look, he even got a Bar Mitz-Vah, which by the way is no fun, to help Johnny and to try to be his friend but she seems to…I don't know, she doesn't even care."
"Hmm…but they're gonna work this out, right. He's not just giving her up like that?"
He hadn't told Summer about Ryan's messed up feelings for Marissa, knowing very well that this hadn't been the right time to throw such information at her.
The unmistakeable clicking of Summer's heels found it's way to Seth ears, followed by the sound of the front door falling shut as the tiny brunette appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, looking completely stressed.
"Cohen…upstairs…now…", she commanded breathlessly.
"Wah…"
"We have an emergency on our hands."
And with that she turned on her heels and made her way to the staircase…
"Cohen!"
"Coming…", he called out before he hurriedly followed her up the stairs to his room.
Seth sat down next to Summer on the edge of his bed, watching her playing with her necklace involuntary, her breathing fast and heavy.
"Hey, Sum…what's wrong?
She didn't answer though, just let out a straggled breath and remained looking at her lap. Seth tried to be patient until he was afraid she might rip off the necklace or just go crazy…
"Sum, hey…calm down! Please! Calm down, tell me what's wrong!", he said tenderly.
As she brought her dark teary eyes to his, his heart almost broke.
"We lose her, Seth.", she whispered, he voice raspy and uneven form the tears she tried to hold back desperately.
Seth was lost. He had absolutely no clue what Summer was talking about, besides that she was pretty upset.
"Ahm…who? What? When?", he asked, shaking his head slightly.
"Coop. We're gonna lose her. You know why she dumped me this morning? Because she needed to think about Johnny. Yeah..Johnny. And you know what else…they kissed, made out…however you like to call it…What if she's gonna break up with Ryan to be with Johnny? Can you imagine that? She will spend all her time with him, even more than now, and she won't have anytime left of us..me. And of course it would be awkward, cause I'm with you and you're Ryan's brother and gradually our friendship will wear down and then we're gonna head to different colleges, maybe see each other again at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but don't know what to talk about and 10 years later I'll get an invitation to her wedding reception and maybe even her first baby party and then that was it…."
"Woah…slow down there a little bit, okay, Seth stated smiling, finding her incredibly cute when she was frowning and freaking out like that.
"Nooo…", she pouted. "Didn't you hear me? They kissed! Next step, they're sleeping together and then she's gonna break up with Ryan and everything will go downhill. You have to talk to Ryan! Tell him that he's gotta fight for her and that he needs to do something huge…special…grand romantic gesture…"
Now it was Seth, who was frowning…
"Okay…first of all, the grand romantic gestures are my thing. Ryan is more the 'freeing the virgin'-type. And besides…I'm not sure if Ryan's gonna do that…you know, ahm…fight for her.", he said sheepishly, trying not to be on the end of a rage blackout, he was sure was coming.
"What do you mean?"
Closing his eyes, Seth tried desperately to find the right words to tell her what Ryan had told him about his feelings for Marissa. But who was he kidding here? He was a Cohen after all, he would never find the right words…
"Ryan isn't sure if he's still in love with Marissa."
Tick….tick….tick….tick.…tick….
Seth listened to the ticking of his watch as he waited for Summer to say something. He was sure she would freak and so he tried to be as invisible as possible, sitting straight without any movement, his eyes still closed and concentrating on something else - he had seen in a movie that it might work…well, if you were an overpaid actor, playing the main role in the latest screen adaptation of a comic book.
Tick….tick….tick….tick.…tick….
Still nothing had happened and he wondered if Summer was still there or maybe he had just found out that he was a superhero and able to stop time or something…so Seth opened his left eye, seeing Summer still sitting next to him.
Opening his other eye he was startled by Summer's sudden outburst.
"Oh, bullshit. He does love her. I know it, you know it and he's gonna know it, too, when I'll be ready with him!...Cohen, we need a plan."
"A-a plan?"
"Yeah. A plan to get Ryan and Marissa back together…or more together…", Summer said frowning, not knowing what the right name was since they weren't really broken up yet. "I dunno…but I'm not gonna give her up or lose her or whatsoever…sooo."
She looked at him expectantly, her dark brown eyes large and full of emotions and mind full of crazy ideas and once again he was just overwhelmed by how much he felt for her.
"Oh, you are so cute my little warrior.", he stated, pulling her into a long lingering kiss, feeling her body grew limb in his arms.
She looked at him intensely, searching even, as they broke apart. Marissa's words rushed back into her mind. No, she wasn't using him or leading him on…She loved him. She knew it, she felt it…And he knew it, too, right?
"Cohen?", she asked, her voice full of emotion. "You know that I love you, right?"
Her voice just sounded the tiniest bit hopeful, needing to hear that he knew, but he had barely time to smile at her as the doorbell rang and he had to make his way downstairs.
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Summer sighed. She knew that he knew that she loved him, just as much as she knew that he loved her back with all his heart. He had proven it to her on more than just one occasion. She didn't need to hear him actually say it, right?
Another small sigh escaped her mouth and she closed her eyes for a second, trying to get all the bad and sad thoughts out of her mind before she followed him downstairs.
She came down the stairs right the moment when Seth opened the door and from her position she saw him stooping dead in his tracks, his face shocked and happy at the same time as his mouth fell slightly open.
"Surprise!", a young female and somehow familiar voice called out cheerily and as Summer turned the corner she saw the blonde, yet much longer hair and the familiar face with the big brown eyes…
"Anna…", her and Seth stated at the same time, both equally surprised but in a very different way.
Summer felt small, even tinier than her actual size at the sight of her former enemy and friend. She looked stunning. Her natural blonde hair had grown till a little over her shoulder, falling around her face in perfect soft strains. Her dark brown eyes were sparkling in excitement and in contrast to her former colourful makeup she seemed to go with the natural type now, cause besides some mascara and lip gloss her perfectly looking skin was makeup-free. She wore a tight hip-hugging jeans and a cocoa-coloured shirt with a big smiling sun and the words 'I love Cali' written on it, which just underlined the colour of her hair and the yellow ballerinas just matched it perfectly. Summer was sure, if she was a guy she would fall for her right that second and would probably drool around just like Seth did now.
She tried to swallow the big lump in her throat as Seth smiled at his ex-girlfriend, showing her his adorable dimples, and pulled her into a tight embrace.
No, this just couldn't be happening…
Seth had completely lost his ability of thinking straight at the sight of Anna Stern standing on his front porch. He hadn't seen her since the fateful day almost two years ago as she went back to Pittsburgh due to, he still was convinced, his relationship with Summer right after they had broken up. And the last time they had actually talked had been way to long.
He pulled his arms tight around her waist as reaction to her firm hug, as she leaned her lean body against his, and breathed in her scent. She was so different from Summer. While she always smelled like coco and vanilla, sometimes even strawberry, Anna always smelled like the sea. She smelled like sailing, like gigantic waves crushing against the shore and huge cliffs, she smelled like the wind that blew through your hair while you were out on the ocean…
Her blonde hair tickled at his neck and he slowly let go off her, never once getting rid of the smile that played around his lips and the look of pure awe and joy.
"Hey, Sum…", Anna said cheerily as she stepped past Seth to engulf her former friend in an equally tight embrace.
Summer hugged back just as tightly. She was happy to see Anna. She really was,…they had become really good friends before she had left to go back to Pittsburgh, but somehow she couldn't get rid of that twisting feeling in her stomach.
"It' sooo good to see you two. I really missed ya.", Anna stated as she let go off Summer too, who immediately wrapped an arm around Seth waist.
She wasn't really the jealous type, but it was Anna. She was his ex-girlfriend and although he had told her that he had always just been in love with her and she believed him, there still was this connection between Anna and Seth, the connection between a former couple and of course the special connection they shared since they were so much alike. And maybe, just maybe Summer wasn't so self-confident like everyone thought, especially not when it came to Seth and her feelings for him.
"Yeah, you too…omg, I can't believe you're really here."
Seth's dreamily and happy voice caused Summer's chest to tighten and she forced herself to smile into the direction of the tall blonde.
"So, you two are still together?"
"Yap.", Seth stated proudly and wrapped his arm around Summer's shoulders, pulling her awkwardly against his side…
"Omg, there' so much you have to tell me. And like soooo much I have to tell you."
"I bet.", Summer said under her breath as Seth steered her into the direction of the living room, already deep in a conversation with Anna about his family and Ryan.
About one hour later, Summer was completely freaked out. She had excused herself full of five times. Twice to get some sodas and three times to head to the bathroom, just to look at her face in the mirror, trying to bring her breathing back to normal and her mind to stop spinning, which of course hadn't worked at all, as she had come back from her little bathroom break, just to find Anna and Seth all cuddly and laughing on the sofa…
They had already gone through every possible topic and Summer had a hard time staying awake as Anna had told about her life in Pittsburgh and her friends, that she intended at a school drama and that she had gone on a sailing adventure last summer with a few of her friends for whole two months, while Seth had told her every detail about his comic book with Zach, his mom and the death of Caleb…
Somewhere through all this, Summer had stopped to count the amount and the friend-or-crush-potential of every touch, every smile or look. It was pointless, cause there she sat - Summer Roberts at the edge of the sofa, good five inches away from her boyfriend, who had slightly turned his back to her and talked to his amazing ex-girlfriend. They were laughing and touching and talking, while Seth hadn't even acknowledged her appearance once in the last hour besides a forced 'thanks' as she had handed him a soda. Right now they were talking about colleges and of course they had send applications to all the same…all on the East Coast.
"So, you're really gonna go together?", Anna's voice brought her back into reality and she just nodded automatically in response.
"Wow, that is so great for you two. I don't know if I could do this. Give up everything just to follow my boyfriend to college."
Summer felt her heart just beat a little faster at this statement. What the hell was she talking about?
"Well, I just realized that I wanted to do something with my life, like go to a good college and have a career, and as I got my SAT score, which by the way was really high, there were chances for me to actually do it. And the best colleges are at the East Coast. It's just another positive criteria that Seth's gonna head there too…other ways we would have made the whole long distance thing work somehow."
Okay, that came out much more bitchy than Summer had wanted and it wasn't even the complete truth, not even half of it, and Seth knew it and judging by his slightly confused look he gave her right then she knew that she might have crossed a line, she hadn't been aware off.
"Hey, it's great that you are so serious this time.", Anna said, trying to cover the awkward situation. "The last time I talked to Seth you were broken up and I just told him to be confident and fight for you. It's good to see that he seems to have taken the advice,"
Of course Anna couldn't have known where she would get herself into with that innocent statement.
Seth closed his eyes, sighing loudly, This was so not supposed to happen.
"What do you mean? When did you two talk as we were broken up?"
Summer looked from Seth to Anna and back to Seth, who had his eyes still closed and his head bent down, already looking defeated.
"Ahm…he called from Portland the last time."
"He what?"
Anna looked completely lost and confused as Summer shot daggers at Seth, who just looked as if he had stolen something really expensive and had gotten busted.
"You called her from Portland?", her voice cracked at the end as mad tears formed at the corners of her eyes. God, she hadn't been so angry and sad at the same time for like ever.
"Yeah,…Summmer, look-…", he tried to say, looking at her intensely.
"No,…you know what, I'm just gonna go. I-I've stuff to do. Nice to have talked to you Anna…I will see you around. Bye."
Summer hurried out of the Cohen's mansion down the driveway to her car, where she immediately stamped on the gas pedal and sped of.
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A white man, around mid-forty looked through the old, patched up and ugly looking blinds that were shielding back the late afternoon sun. The rumpled motel room was dark, just lightened up by some scattered rays of sunlight that came through the holes in the blinds, which was making the flying around dust visible. A huge messed up bed stood at one of the walls with a bedside table on each side, the drawers lifted out of their hinges. The commode on the opposite wall didn't look any better and the floor around it was covered with clothes and shoes and an old worn duffel bag.
He sighed deeply and rested his head against the window frame before he looked through the drawers of the commode again, hesitating he pulled a silver gun out of a plastic bag, holding it in his hands, before he put it into the waistband of his jeans.
Looking into the old broken mirror next to the door he stopped dead in his tracks at his appearance, His hair was long and straggly and hung in messy strains down into his eyes, which were surrounded by dark rings. His skin was pale and the once striking facial features hollow, making him look at least 10 years older than he actually was. The old white t-shirt had spots on it and was torn on one sleeve and so didn't look much better than the old worn-out jeans or the black dockers.
He ran his hands over his face, trying to sort out his thoughts before he shook his head and hurried to the nearest nightstand, pulling the drawers out and throwing them through the small dark room before he climbed over the bed to the other side, doing the same with the drawers of the second nightstand.
One desperate sob escaped his hoarse throat as he let himself fall against the wall, sliding down on it until he sat on the floor, legs outstretched in front of him with his head in his hands.
Suddenly a cell phone started to ring somewhere in the dark mess of the room but he didn't move, just listened to the monotone beeping until it eventually stopped.
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Sophie Cohen looked out of the passenger window of her son's black luxurious BMW as they drove through Los Angeles to get to the airport. The sun slowly set behind the made of glass skyscrapers and bathed everything in an orange-red light.
How was she supposed to tell him now? She had known from the beginning that the whole situation wouldn't be easy, in fact she had already known how Sandy would react to the news about her new job and her moving back to New York City. But she hadn't known how she would react to this one tiny but yet special and important detail and that had caused her hopes to be high, far too high. She had realized this as Sandy had told Kirsten about his dad and what he felt for him, which was nothing except pure hatred like he had called it, and now there she was – disappointed but yet still understanding about his feelings, but on the other hand in a conflict between her oldest son and the man she loved.
Memories of her life forty years ago played before her inner eye, as she had found out that her husband had left her and the kids, herself pregnant in the third trimester and without any money or a job or any future in prospect, whether it was for her or for her kids. She remembered that she had gotten sick and that Sandy had taken care for her and his younger brother and later his baby-sis until she had gotten better, that he had gotten a job at the little supermarket down the street, where he was supposed to restock the products in the shelves and how proud he had been when he came home after his first week with 10 dollars in his tiny hand.
But then memories of his graduation came back to her mind and how she had found him in his room, packing his navy blue duffel bag and told her that he had gotten accepted at an university in California and that he was about to leave. She didn't know how she had lived through all this years that he hadn't called or visited or even tried to get back in contact with her and his siblings, but she still knew how shocked she had been as he had suddenly stood in the doorway to her small apartment with the sweet blonde woman attached to his arm, telling her that he would get married.
The vision turned into the image of Ephraim's face. His dark brown eyes and black curls…his always slightly mischievous smile. She remembered as she had met him in Miami, how the butterflies in her stomach returned, making her blush, since she had thought that being in love or having a crush on someone was just teenage stuff. The butterflies hadn't gone, all those weeks they had spent together and they had even gotten more as she had gone to New York City and had stayed at his apartment. She hadn't found any sleep the first night, having been too nervous to even close her eyes, just like a little girl.
No, she couldn't decide between those two men, for whom she felt so much love for. They had both hurt her and made her so happy…how could she decide between the man she loved and wanted by her side for the rest of her life and her son? But she knew that whatever she did, tell or not tell, she would hurt one of them eventually.
"We're here.", Sandy's voice yanked her out of her deep thoughts and she realized that they had already arrived at the airport, standing in the car park. She watched people hurry around - some with their families, some alone, some with huge amount of luggage who looked exited and happy and others with just a small bag or briefcasewho looked exhausted and stressed, obviously just being on a business trip instead of vacation.
Sophie followed Sandy through the wide entrance area and watched him looking at the announcement-board to search for her gate.
"I think you have to go to gate 15. It's the only flight to New York until 6:30, so it must be it. You're okay? Do you have anything?"
"Yeah, 'dad'…quit worrying."
He smiled down at her. God, if he would just knew how much he resembled his father…
"Okay…I think it's time for 'good-bye' then."
"Yeah, except if you want to bring your old mom to her seat in the plane yourself.", she said ironically at his over-protectiveness.
And again he smiled, looking like a little young boy, who just got busted doing something wrong, but yet knew that his mom wasn't really mad.
"Okay…Bye, mom. I'm gonna miss ya.", he stated truthfully as he bent down to her height and hugged her tight.
"Yeah, me too."
"Call when you're home."
"Yeah, yeah…."
"It's was good to see you, you know,…have you around on Christmas."
"Christmukkah, sweetie…Christmukkah…but you, too."
She pulled away from him after she had placed one last motherly kiss on his cheek and grabbed the handle of her suitcase.
"Oh, and mom…greet Ephraim from me."
Sophie stopped dead in her tracks and looked back at Sandy. Now or never…tell or not tell. Thousand of different emotions and thoughts hurried through her mind and heart…
"I will."
"Bye."
"Bye.", she winked as she walked further into the messy crowd of the airport.
Taking one last glance over her shoulder, she saw the big glass-made electronic doors close behind Sandy's back before he got lost between cars and people.
Never….
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Kirsten and Julie were at the Yacht Club for 3 hours now, trying to finally make specific plans for their new dating agency, called 'New Match', which was the only thing they had both agreed to…but now, discussing covers and layouts, fonts and colours and whatsoever both were equally pissed since they had very different ideas of how the whole thing should look like.
"Okay then…What if we'd take this cover with the black font there?", Kirsten asked as she held up two different catalogues from the huge stock of them and papers and notebooks on the little table.
"Black? Kirsten, it's supposed to be a dating service not a funeral home…What about the golden font?", Julie more stated than suggested.
"Gold?"
Kirsten swallowed hard. This would so never work out at all. If they couldn't even agree on which cover they would take or what font would match best, how could they ever run a successful business?
She watched Julie scribbling her own idea onto the notepad. God, this woman was quite a challenge…and needed to be stopped now, if she ever wanted to have any say in anything concerning the business again.
"Hey, what about we get something to eat. I'm starving."
"Sure.", Julie stated cheerily as she closed the notebook and laid it down on top of the other material and grabbed the menu card.
One for Kirsten, Zero for Julie.
After they had ordered and Julie had gotten her third cosmopolitan in a row while Kirsten still slurped on her water, being not as cool with it as just one hour ago, everything about work was forgotten and both women were discussing the latest Newport gossip.
"So did you know that Beth has an affair with Reverend Baker?"
"What?", Kirsten asked unbelievingly, choking on her Cesar's salad.
"Yeah, and now Mrs. Baker found out…And now his vice has to hold the prays, cause the got him a blue eye and he can't leave the house."
Kirsten tried to suppress the smile that crept up her lips due to the absurdity of those rumours. No, nobody could say that it was boring to live in Newport.
"Oh, and did you see the Andrew's girl? She's so pregnant. And nobody even knows who the father is. Can you imagine that? Right before graduation and college."
Kirsten looked meaningful at her friend. Wasn't it her who had come to LA right after graduation and started an affair with the older Jimmy just to fell pregnant before she even turned 19…
Julie somehow seemed to get that…
"I know what you're thinking. But it wasn't like I would have gone to college anyways. But this girl had plans. Liza told me that she wanted to go to Yale or Harvard. What would you do if Summer would get pregnant now? Her and Seth' plans would so be ruined."
Another smile played around Kirsten's lips. Of course, the possibility was always there, but Seth had had more then one painful talk with his dad and as much as she knew Summer wasn't that kind of a girl, who would just risk her future like that. So, Kirsten didn't think that she had to worry about anything like this anytime soon.
"What about Marissa, though?", she asked with a smirk.
"I'm just glad that she even seems to consider college. Pregnant or not, I'm not sure if she's really gonna go though. She's not the planning-your-future-type of girl. I guess, if it would go after her, she would spend all her time at the beach complaining about her life. Jimmy-genes…"
"Hey, she's not that bad."
"No, I know. It's just…since she rounded the 14, she hates me. That's her hobby and when she finds an opportunity to hurt me she does. And well…I couldn't even afford college right now, so…"
"And what's with Caitlin's money for boarding school?"
"Nope. Nothing…she'll go to Newport Union with Marissa next year."
Julie tried to play the whole situation off, but Kirsten could only imagine how she must really feel…
"You know, the offer for the money is still on…"
Julie looked at her, through slightly teary eyes, before she went back to her usual self.
"Nope…Thanks, Kirsten, but I'm gonna earn my own money with this goddamn dating thingy. And who knows, maybe our beloved Jimmy will become a man anytime soon and finally take care and responsibility for his family."
"What do you mean? You still haven't heard anything form him?"
Julie shot Kirsten a meaningful look.
"We both know that you would be the first he would call, Kirsten."
She brought her eyes back down, looking intensively at the half eaten salad in front of her. She was right though. Although Jimmy had married Julie and her Sandy, the special bond, the connection between them had never gone, nor eased at intensity. But yet, she still had no clue why he had left again in the first place. One day he had been happy with Julie and everything and in the next moment he had been gone and never been heard of again.
As she brought her eyes back to Julie, she met her gaze, which had suddenly become sad.
"You want to know why he left?", Julie concluded. "I don't know, Kirsten. I wish I'd do, but I don't… Did you know that he asked me to marry him again?"
Kirsten's jaw fell at this statement. Of course she had been in rehab at this time, but Sandy would have told her. Jimmy would have told her.
"We had everything planed out…Just Marissa knew. It should be a surprise. You coming home and our wedding, just with our closest friends. But well, then he just left and I haven't heard of him since."
It didn't sound like Jimmy at all. Although he had made mistakes, he wasn't that kind of a man who just left. Especially not in this kind of a situation. Something must have happened, but according to Julie's behaviour and her obvious feelings she hadn't had any clue as well…
Both women started to pick at their salads again, kind of confused and emotionally drained out by the sudden turn of the conversation as the lost themselves deep in their own thoughts…
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Marissa had sat at the life guard tower at the beach half of the day, avoiding any calls from her mom, Caitlin or Johnny. She had needed to think – think about her relationship with Ryan, her feelings for Johnny and about what Summer had said. It had been their worst argument ever, but although she might have been right with a few things, most of what Summer had thrown against her head had been complete crap and Marissa still thought that she had been right after all. But with one thing Summer had been right, she needed to talk to Ryan, and that was exactly what she was about to do as she walked along the patio of the Cohen's before she came to a halt in front of the closed glass doors of the pool house.
With one final intake of breathe she knocked slightly before she opened the door.
Ryan sat on the floor. His back leaned against the feet of his bed as he pushed roughly onto the buttons of his PS2 controller, not acknowledging her in the least.
"Ryan?", she asked, her voice merely above a whisper as she stepped further into the room.
He gave no sign that he had heard her or that he knew that she was there until she closed the doors behind her and leaned against them and he mumbled something under his breath simultaneously with a huge 'Game Over' appearing on the screen and the beeping as he started a new game.
"Ryan?", she asked again, but still didn't get any answer, not even a look or nod or anything…
"Okay…you don't want to talk. I get it. But I have to tell you a few things so…just listen, okay!"
He shifted a little and continued to kill the ninjas in his game.
"I didn't want t hurt you or give you the feeling that Johnny means more to me than you do, I really didn't. It's just that…since I'm going to another school than you and Summer and Seth…I don't know, but I feel like an outsider or something. It may sound stupid, but all my life I had this huge crowd around me, was friends with almost everyone my age at school and the last two years it has always been us four against the rest of the world or something. I even felt like this when we were all broken up. But now I'm alone. And you talk about people in school and what happened but I'm never a part of it, cause I wasn't there and that hurts somehow."
Marissa took one large breath to stop the tears that had welled behind her eyes from falling as she almost penetrated Ryan's back with her eyes, who still didn't acknowledged her at all.
"Well, as I met Johnny and Chili and the others I finally was part of something again. I had new friends…And that was fun. But through all this I also had to deal with Trey and everything. I know that he's okay and nothing really bad happened, but I still shot someone. Nobody could understand, not Summer and not you and every time I've tried to talk to you about it anyway you put it down, didn't want to talk about and I understood it somehow although it hurt. I needed someone who would understand what I went through and that's when Johnny told me about his dad and he understood.
I could talk to him about everything I couldn't talk about with you or Summer or anyone for that matter and so we got to know each other better and became very close friends.
She looked at Ryan as tears spilled from her eyes and run down her face until they stopped at her chin and fell down onto her white shirt. Ryan had stopped to play a while ago, but still hadn't looked at her once. Her gaze wandered from his unmoving body to the screen in front of him, where once again the words 'Game Over' blinked, before she looked back at him, wiping some tears off of her nose.
"But that doesn't have anything to do with us, Ryan. Johnny is a friend, a very close friend even, but that's is. But you are my boyfriend. I love you. Just you and not Johnny, okay…And I just don't want to lose you due to this. I can't."
A tiny sob escaped her throat as more tears streamed now rapidly down her cheeks. Ryan got up from his place on the floor and went over to her, finally looking at her, locking his gaze with hers as his hands cupped her face and he wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.
"I know. I know all of this, Marissa…and I love you, too.", he said and they shared a small smile, before he went on..."But I just saw too many people that meant something to me leave, I just got hurt by too many people I loved. And I just don't want to get hurt again. Especially not by you and not in this way."
"You won't."
The both looked deep into each other's eyes and a smile played around their lips as their foreheads met.
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
Ryan placed a lingering kiss on Marissa's lips, but broke is yet so suddenly.
"So, we're good?"
"Yeah, more than good.", she stated with a wide grin, before she pulled him in for another kiss.
Thx for reading and please REVIEW! ;)
I promise you, the next update won't take that long..
Bye
Sarah